Evil Laugh (1986)

Slasher films of the 1980s are an almost inexhaustible supply of high-quality cinema, and the Steven Baio vehicle Evil Laugh (1986) is no exception. As a late-period slasher with copious cruelty and humor, one cannot go wrong with Evil Laugh.

Of course, some of your universe's critics are completely wrong about Evil Laugh. For example, reviewer loomis78-815-989034 writes (employing a well-known metaphor that at this point must be a cliche), "With horrible acting, a bad soundtrack and Chachi's brother on hand this horrid script unfolds like a belt from a bad onion." Reviewer petraliamarco writes, "There's zero tension and 90% of the movie is an absurd plot by one of the characters to sleep with another, while the others are getting killed, maybe?" And reviewer The_Void writes, "Overall, you would do well not to bother with Evil Laugh."

Read on for the truth about Evil Laugh...

“So That Explains It Then” - Shadow Tracker: Vampire Hunter (1999)

This week, we will discuss the low-budget epic Shadow Tracker: Vampire Hunter (1999), an ambitious straight-to-video labor of love shot in upstate New York directed by Joe Bagnardi and written by Bagnardi and horror film expert Bruce G. Hallenbeck.

I found only a handful of reviews (if the hand in question has only two fingers) in your universe for this classic. Reviewer Leofwine_draca writes, "Certainly it's nothing that could be considered a good film." And reviewer Taliesin writes, "The film looks blooming awful, to be honest, and the acting isn’t really much better." 

Read on for the truth about Shadow Tracker: Vampire Hunter...

The Devil's Mistress (1965)

Let us now return to the 1960s to appreciate the forgotten supernatural Western The Devil's Mistress (1965), in which a band of cowboys encounter an unusual couple in the middle of the desert. Written and directed by the wonderfully named Orville Wanzer, whose only film credit this is, The Devil's Mistress is a bleak and creepy account of a really bad journey over the mountains.

As usual, some of your universe's critics are harsh when reviewing The Devil's Mistress. For example, CinemaSerf writes, "though only an hour or so long, it seems longer and really does quickly fall into the realms of films best avoided. This is poor, sorry." Reviewer I_Ailurophile writes, "The concept is solid enough; the cinematic expression of that concept basically amounts to the bare minimum, and it's hard to muster enthusiasm for what little plot we get." And reviewer jennycallahan writes, "the camera work is the worst. It feels like a random person off the street was hired for Cinematography."

Read on for the truth about The Devil's Mistress...

“Burying Cattails and Monkey Nuts” - Mirror of Death (1988)

Also known by the highly original title Dead of Night, Mirror of Death (1988) is a supernatural slasher film set in glamorous Los Angeles. Its plot is also highly original, as it revolves around a mirror that is either possessed or haunted by a spirit (or possibly a demon). In fact, the film is reminiscent of such high-quality cinema as Demon Seed/Demon Rage in its blending of supernatural evil and beautiful people.

Of course, some of your universe's critics dismiss Mirror of Death. For example, reviewer Leofwine_draca writes, "this is a very low quality piece of film-making that looks pretty grotty if I'm honest." Reviewer BA_Harrison calls the film "instantly forgettable straight-to-video nonsense of the lowest order, a lifeless low-budget clunker with very few redeeming qualities." And reviewer lor_ summarizes the film eloquently (but incorrectly): "Cliched dialog reduces supernatural goings-on to mere doggerel."

Read on for an accurate appreciation of Mirror of Death...

"Throw Out the Logic Pill When You Swallow It" - The Crawling Hand (1963)

As everybody knows, the 1960s were a fertile period full of creative science fiction, horror, and the melding of both. The Crawling Hand (1963) is an excellent example of both. It features not only murders by a crawling hand (actually a crawling arm), but attempted murders by a teenager possessed by said crawling hand/arm, and a performance by the always-welcome Alan Hale, Jr.

Of course, some of your universe's critics fail to appreciate The Crawling Hand. For example, reviewer lee_eisenberg writes about Alan Hale, "Before he got the role of a certain short-tempered sea captain with a dim-witted first mate, he was stuck in grade-Z movies. An example is the idiotic stinker 'The Crawling Hand'." Reviewer wierzbowskie writes, "Don't go near this at all!" And reviewer bkoganbing writes, "It's not even funny bad, just bad."

Read on for the truth about The Crawling Hand...

“What This Will Be, I Do Not Know, If Anything” - The Mummy and the Curse of the Jackals (1969)

Now let us take up the lost classic The Mummy and the Curse of the Jackals (1969), a bold new vision of the Universal "monster rally" films of the 1940s that even features a small role for John Carradine and has the bonus attraction of being set in and near Las Vegas.

Shockingly, some of your universe's critics are uninspired by the cinematic jewel that is The Mummy and the Curse of the Jackal. For example, reviewer InjunNose writes, ""The Mummy and the Curse of the Jackals" easily outdistances any Ed Wood or Herschell Gordon Lewis film in the bad movie stakes." Reviewer BaronBl00d writes, "the direction, writing, lighting, acting, special effects, make-up, etc.... are without a doubt truly incompetent." And reviewer Michael_Elliott sums up the film as "cheap, low-budget junk."

Of course, you should not rely on the opinions of these so-called reviewers. Please read on for the truth about The Mummy and the Curse of the Jackals...

"I'm Firmly Planted in Your Subconscious" - The Devil's Hand (1961)

Let us now return to the fabled 1960s to discuss the forgotten suspense masterpiece The Devil's Hand, a film that involves neither devils nor hands, but does feature Robert Alda, Neil Hamilton, and a bevy of large voodoo dolls.

A small number of your universe's critics are not persuaded by the quality of The Devil's Hand. For example, reviewer davidtraversa-1 writes, "I don't have the will power or the time to watch this kind of junk." Reviewer Hitchcoc describes the film as "Meandering and dumb." And reviewer Coventry laments "Too bad it eventually didn't turn out to be a very good movie."

Read on for the truth about The Devil's Hand...

"Three Words: C-I-A" - Murdercycle (1999)

Let us now turn to 1999's Murdercycle, a science fiction film in which an alien entity possesses and converts a motorcycle and its rider to terrorize a group of Marines and CIA agents in the Colorado (not California) desert.

Of course, some people in your universe don't appreciate action films of Murdercycle's quality. Reviewer parca writes simply, "Everything in this movie is bad." Reviewer bkoganbing writes, "Murdercycle is one truly lame science fiction film. It rates at the bottom of all categories, acting, writing, directing and laughable special effecs [sic]." And reviewer marko210 writes, "Words can not describe the strength it took to watch it all the way through."

Read on for an appreciation of Murdercycle...

"I Was in an Andy Warhol Movie the Other Week" - Hollywood Horror House (1970)

Let us now delve into a classic film depicting the descent into madness of an aging movie star from the golden age of cinema trapped in her decaying mansion. Of course, I'm referring to Donald Wolfe's Hollywood Horror House (1970), Miriam Hopkins's entry into the film cycle that is now called "Grand Dame Guignol" or, less charitably, "Hagsploitation." In fact, Hollywood Horror House does not skimp on the Grand Guignol or the "sploitation," making it an unusual, though underseen, entry into the subgenre.

Of course, some of your universe's critics undervalue this film. For example, reviewer mark.waltz writes, "this ranks as an embarrassing Z grade mix of grindhouse slasher horror and the desperation of a delusional diva to keep her name alive, no matter how repulsive the film she's in is."  Reviewer kira02bit writes, "Watch if you must, but there are much better options, even within this genre." And reviewer poolandrews, with some unexpected charity, writes, "It's a mildly entertaining one-time-watch at best & a complete mess of a film at worse, you decide which!"

Read on for a full appreciation of Hollywood Horror House...

“Just a Minor Sex Maniac” - Honeymoon of Horror (1964)

We will now return to the state of Florida to examine the relatively obscure thriller Honeymoon of Horror (1964), the only film directed by Irwin Meyer, producer of films such as Larry Cohen's Deadly Illusion (1987) and the TV movie Legion of Fire: Killer Ants! (1998).

Honeymoon of Horror is not well loved by your universe's prestigious critics. For example, reviewer rsoonsa writes, "The storyline is haphazard, the camera-work is erratic, with quaintly dreadful lighting, and the acting is substandard, often inadvertently comedic." Reviewer john22900 writes, "Almost everything about this production is pretty terrible." And reviewer mdstudio-75425 writes that "only a true aficionado will have the steely willpower of endurance required for full viewing."

Read on for a more realistic appreciation of the hidden gem Honeymoon of Horror...

“Rats Aren’t People!” - Brain Twisters (1991)

Jerry Sanguiliano's Brain Twisters (1991) is a science fiction thriller that imaginatively uses computers as tools to twist college students' brains so they commit murder and/or suicide. Unfortunately, it is the late Mr. Sanguiliano's only feature-length film, despite it being a brilliant work of early 1990s cinema.

Some of your universe's critics don't understand the intricacies of Brain Twisters. For example, reviewer movieman_kev writes, "This stinker not only scrapes the bottom of the proverbial barrel, but permanently resides there. It can't get much worse than this." Reviewer Red-Barracuda writes, "It's just very poorly put together generally." And reviewer Rainey-Dawn writes, " I was bored, bored and more bored with the film." (As if anything could be more exciting than Brain Twisters!)

Read on for a full appreciation of Brain Twisters...