tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9090653857281548042024-03-13T08:10:57.097-07:00Senseless CinemaGreetings! You may call me Doctor Pseudonymous. Because that is my name. Too often have I heard some horror and fantasy movies described as so strange they must be from another universe. Indeed, they <b><i>are</i></b> from another universe! I have perfected a way to travel from my universe, designated Universe-Prime, to your strange and primitive Universe-X to set you straight about these movies. Prepare to reconsider your <b><i>senseless</i></b> views on <b><i>cinema</i></b>.Doctor Pseudonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07584099620426375486noreply@blogger.comBlogger329125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-909065385728154804.post-67000312401624023702024-03-11T04:00:00.000-07:002024-03-11T04:00:00.289-07:00“Rats Aren’t People!” - Brain Twisters (1991)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwFv_I1U2qm4ufxoij_oYcO_ef3FCocGlf9U_ud0Y9-IJ7Abr8W42bnw0iw_4DbB0QCPRrGA2EF5A7RQgcx9O_pNfx0uRvNIzSno3X63X8vxnFIWSJ5ByKvwxkacun9DIVZ1Ws0hHwX6edSD_4Tgl4viFHOUbyqjqD494sgOlyfj7-mK0kIV2ckVw2nQT2/s1344/Brain%20Twisters%20Title.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="1344" height="190" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwFv_I1U2qm4ufxoij_oYcO_ef3FCocGlf9U_ud0Y9-IJ7Abr8W42bnw0iw_4DbB0QCPRrGA2EF5A7RQgcx9O_pNfx0uRvNIzSno3X63X8vxnFIWSJ5ByKvwxkacun9DIVZ1Ws0hHwX6edSD_4Tgl4viFHOUbyqjqD494sgOlyfj7-mK0kIV2ckVw2nQT2/w640-h190/Brain%20Twisters%20Title.png" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;">Jerry Sanguiliano's Brain Twisters (1991) is a science fiction thriller that imaginatively uses computers as tools to twist college students' brains so they commit murder and/or suicide. Unfortunately, it is the late Mr. Sanguiliano's only feature-length film, despite it being a brilliant work of early 1990s cinema.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Some of your universe's critics don't understand the intricacies of Brain Twisters. For example, reviewer movieman_kev <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw3106006/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "This stinker not only scrapes the bottom of the proverbial barrel, but permanently resides there. It can't get much worse than this." Reviewer Red-Barracuda <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2833979/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "It's just very poorly put together generally." And reviewer Rainey-Dawn <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw3578048/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, " I was bored, bored and more bored with the film." (As if anything could be more exciting than Brain Twisters!)</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Read on for a full appreciation of Brain Twisters...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div><span><a name='more'></a></span>The opening shot of the film is indeed a brain twister, in that we see trees sliding along a curved surface, until we realize we are watching the reflection of trees in a car’s windshield as the car drives along a rural road. In a shocking moment, the car hits a young woman jogging while listening to a Walkman, then speeds off, leaving her lying dead on the ground.</div><div><br /></div><div>The film cuts to what appears to be a high-tech laboratory. A woman, Yvonne, watches a video screen showing colorful computer graphics. A man observes her image on a bank of monitors, then opens the pod where Yvonne sits, her computer monitor filled with static. He asks if she is okay. She replies that yes, she is okay.</div><div><br /></div><div>The man, Dr. Rothman, receives a phone call from the man funding his research who threatens to terminate the project due to a lack of interesting results.</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, Yvonne walks through a university corridor, where she is observed by a sinister janitor pushing a mop past a series of suspiciously tiny closet doors.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1Q5vXiARJxlS-WZVN_2jYwmEU0-Rv6iW_RylOiwH-ydauhTyHEkTouYI6m2XEN-zw_vcLW0bdshx4H2JkHJTzoBAHKb7DDOhk2qn4HNk_Ku-OXMCT2DXPCSb7BxNQB-889HSTFo4ysaI8zOkA1sVL7NB0UQ7HHHTHYRQanmGnK3rVv8ad-XNau6TfB-nz/s2224/TINY%20DOORS.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1272" data-original-width="2224" height="229" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1Q5vXiARJxlS-WZVN_2jYwmEU0-Rv6iW_RylOiwH-ydauhTyHEkTouYI6m2XEN-zw_vcLW0bdshx4H2JkHJTzoBAHKb7DDOhk2qn4HNk_Ku-OXMCT2DXPCSb7BxNQB-889HSTFo4ysaI8zOkA1sVL7NB0UQ7HHHTHYRQanmGnK3rVv8ad-XNau6TfB-nz/w400-h229/TINY%20DOORS.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Later, Dr. Rothman gives a short lecture about medieval tortures/treatments for mental illness before he asks one of his students, Laurie, if she is interested in a work study job in his office. She agrees, then walks outside with some of the other students, all of whom appear to have been caught by surprise by a light rainshower — every student on campus carries an umbrella, but they have all forgotten to wear jackets. One of Laurie’s friends, Ted, appears catatonic when the sun peers between clouds, but he quickly recovers.</div><div><br /></div><div>At night, Ted’s girlfriend Denise is attacked in her apartment by a camera’s point of view. When Laurie (who resembles a young Margot Kidder, though with a little more hair and a lot less energy, and is played by Farrah Forke of the sitcom Wings) arrives to go to aerobics class with Denise, she finds her friend apparently murdered with a towel.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz83Vr350JzDFJqPyIxQ2qRGxBstNbzmZyFH-HBj0o863sTwwAPLXDhY-9Sb0_saECcibnWqaKrCkLQqIqfhnUOtX29RLDSmtEp4t8v0h8h5ovgrA15eTydES-auWN9LNJU_tXMUnOoZi1x8hfwRBDTevjNvh1Kc7GeTuXLSdPHzOJPc03K1qcHyWzAt1c/s1888/DENISE%20HANGING.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1248" data-original-width="1888" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz83Vr350JzDFJqPyIxQ2qRGxBstNbzmZyFH-HBj0o863sTwwAPLXDhY-9Sb0_saECcibnWqaKrCkLQqIqfhnUOtX29RLDSmtEp4t8v0h8h5ovgrA15eTydES-auWN9LNJU_tXMUnOoZi1x8hfwRBDTevjNvh1Kc7GeTuXLSdPHzOJPc03K1qcHyWzAt1c/w400-h265/DENISE%20HANGING.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Lori uses a pay phone to call the police, resulting in the apartment being swarmed by a half-dozen detectives, the handsomest of whom tries to comfort Laurie.</div><div><br /></div><div>The same night, Dr. Rothman is visited by Michelle, one of his students attempting to get a good grade by seducing her instructor. She tells him, “It’s taking me a long time to understand the material. I guess I’m not as smart as the rest of the class.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Bluntly, Dr. Rothman replies, “Very astute observation.” He gives her a glass of wine.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Any pointers you want to give me?” she asks.</div><div><br /></div><div>“I suggest that you quit school,” he answers, “and pursue your lascivious talents where they can be appreciated.” Then he offers her a chance to be part of his research on what he refers to as “nerve stimulation.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The next day, the handsome detective Frank Turi sits with Laurie at the restaurant where Ted works so he can get some leads from the murdered Denise’s boyfriend. Thus begins the most exciting part of any horror movie: the detective’s investigation of the murder. In this case, Detective Frank breaks the news of Denise’s murder to Ted. During the interview, Ted gets overstimulated by a pinball machine in the background. He suddenly becomes violent, pushing the detective away and running through the restaurant. He jumps through a window and falls to his death. (Although there was no indication the restaurant was above ground level previously, Laurie and all the other patrons look out the shattered window, staring at Ted’s body on the ground several stories below, revealing the restaurant was on the fifth or sixth floor of a building.)</div><div><br /></div><div>Suspiciously, Dr. Rothman reveals to Detective Frank that Ted left his body to Biotronics Incorporated, the computer company funding Dr. Rothman’s research. Detective Frank says he needs Ted’s body to prove that Ted did not murder Denise. Dr. Rothman pushes back with perhaps questionable sensitivity: “I have a legal right to that body, and I don’t intend to give it up.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Detective Frank has a court order demanding an autopsy, however, so he and two officers come to Dr. Rothman’s lab to collect the body. “Ted is in the freezer,” the professor says.</div><div><br /></div><div>When he opens the freezer, Detectives Frank asks, “Where’s his head?”</div><div><br /></div><div>Dr. Rothman reveals a separate cabinet holding Ted’s severed head.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9Cc_VMGa58Bm-UaDb1T5ZDtl8eQchj8tGUm67BH2OkmcAy_XJF5DLV2EuaGNL-8a_zjXbKKYONE5xrAQroViDnTw44Ceh7F9LGsz5rQJ1H44oL-AFUEeJdYysDH1qgDyMz_A6M_l4btm7nwWSDWfsoZ5UpliTnRchzXUZWs0I5RibPGF_ZgXgSjtNj2j7/s1992/TED%E2%80%99S%20HEAD.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1290" data-original-width="1992" height="259" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9Cc_VMGa58Bm-UaDb1T5ZDtl8eQchj8tGUm67BH2OkmcAy_XJF5DLV2EuaGNL-8a_zjXbKKYONE5xrAQroViDnTw44Ceh7F9LGsz5rQJ1H44oL-AFUEeJdYysDH1qgDyMz_A6M_l4btm7nwWSDWfsoZ5UpliTnRchzXUZWs0I5RibPGF_ZgXgSjtNj2j7/w400-h259/TED%E2%80%99S%20HEAD.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Dr. Rothman explains, “Ted was kind enough to leave me his brain. I don’t care about the rest of him.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Frustrated, Detectives Frank leaves, but he is happy to run into Laurie on campus. When Laurie reveals she works for Dr. Rothman, Frank quips, “He’s got a lot of brains, that’s for sure. A whole roomful.”</div><div><br /></div><div>In an interesting twist, later Rothman gets a court order to return Ted’s body (“I’ll just take the head,” Rothman clarifies), which for some reason requires Rothman to visit the detective division of the police station rather than simply taking the body from the morgue. </div><div><br /></div><div>At night, Rothman subjects Michelle to his experiment, which involves her sitting in a pod with electrodes attached to her head while a computer screen shows colorful patterns.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikf8RqpiKG-WN0RJ7ipwOkh8f7OVzzF9glkJJd-n3PWJn8sVtTUV5ei04U73-JfMUYjQSVZhoZoys9BoVG6ioEoQWa_CBXFpHFTKm8UknQDFe0yPrp_Or6IYvdupdoIWmw3Gd94BE9TLiTCDEKjqnHnayapWMkS8KhcpPO8ucHsWinjR8cu5j7lVzzpE6v/s2002/MICHELLE%20EXPERIMENT.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1259" data-original-width="2002" height="251" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikf8RqpiKG-WN0RJ7ipwOkh8f7OVzzF9glkJJd-n3PWJn8sVtTUV5ei04U73-JfMUYjQSVZhoZoys9BoVG6ioEoQWa_CBXFpHFTKm8UknQDFe0yPrp_Or6IYvdupdoIWmw3Gd94BE9TLiTCDEKjqnHnayapWMkS8KhcpPO8ucHsWinjR8cu5j7lVzzpE6v/w400-h251/MICHELLE%20EXPERIMENT.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Elsewhere, Yvonne, the original subject of Rothman’s experiment, swims in a swimming pool. She and Laurie get a bite to eat with her boyfriend Norm, and then, as most dating couples do, they go through a car wash together while eating onion rings. Shockingly, Yvonne is triggered by the machinations of the car wash. She gets out of the car and runs away.</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, Detective Frank confronts Dr. Rothman in a city park as the professor plays with his dog (not a euphemism). (Unfortunately, the film skirts the audience’s expectations, as Frank does not arrive with a court order demanding another swap of Ted’s body.) Frank reveals that a former student of Rothman’s shot himself, which is very suspicious after Ted’s apparent suicide. “It’s kind of a coincidence, wouldn’t you say? These students of yours committing suicide and killing people?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Yes, it is,” Rothman says, turning away and walking quietly through the park with his dog.</div><div><br /></div><div>The film cuts to a costume party where Norm asks Laurie where Yvonne is. Laurie says she thinks she is upstairs, and indeed Yvonne is in a luxurious bathroom taking a bubble bath while the party rages downstairs. In a surreal sequence, Yvonne is startled when a bubble pops. Then she puts on a bathrobe and expressionlessly walks downstairs to the balloon-filled party. She picks up a pair of scissors and stabs two partygoers.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgomDfenGs708L8rUznQDSZ8uJx8FW29ta9lUWJ4c_Y_CX-xHYIDINIHvTuMm7rDOTP5artuUrVdAXi55WqYuLEsnbK9JMs6ZT1ubpNezy8Fbq_k17wQNHx5r_mNkyZFhZ_ODcQYsoRaWqJwckYg68iwaaw9L_Tdcw-11PB2lQA6NZ-_dbFA4EktpWPp5Tk/s1883/YVONNE%20STABBING.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1234" data-original-width="1883" height="263" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgomDfenGs708L8rUznQDSZ8uJx8FW29ta9lUWJ4c_Y_CX-xHYIDINIHvTuMm7rDOTP5artuUrVdAXi55WqYuLEsnbK9JMs6ZT1ubpNezy8Fbq_k17wQNHx5r_mNkyZFhZ_ODcQYsoRaWqJwckYg68iwaaw9L_Tdcw-11PB2lQA6NZ-_dbFA4EktpWPp5Tk/w400-h263/YVONNE%20STABBING.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>After he finds out about Yvonne murdering people, Dr. Rothman spends some time in what appears to be a video game-themed bar.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-g-lMTMmyl-RLrM0UGRrlwyEfyTc_6y92tRTBUzZ2bmcCgIOr36vFc4oZhZ01vI1oyP0ox13Mz26GDN4llXO5gWPlrTwMba-wbXEBHhZ3WvXrWycyQa43MYhrd6CuOb4a80W-lI61B8X8Kc0qxSjbCCvPwNzhsM75Ac_PSq5pxWNAdBmJFsh2fN0C0QdW/s2224/BAR.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1211" data-original-width="2224" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-g-lMTMmyl-RLrM0UGRrlwyEfyTc_6y92tRTBUzZ2bmcCgIOr36vFc4oZhZ01vI1oyP0ox13Mz26GDN4llXO5gWPlrTwMba-wbXEBHhZ3WvXrWycyQa43MYhrd6CuOb4a80W-lI61B8X8Kc0qxSjbCCvPwNzhsM75Ac_PSq5pxWNAdBmJFsh2fN0C0QdW/w400-h217/BAR.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>He phones his the head of Biotronics and, showing a surprising amount of conscience, says he is pulling the plug on the experiment because it’s causing brain damage and resulting homicides and suicides. “You knew this was happening all along, didn’t you?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“No, we didn’t,” says the CEO. “Nothing showed up on the rats.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Rats aren’t people!” admonishes Dr. Rothman, hanging up.</div><div><br /></div><div>The camera reveals that the CEO was in the middle of a board meeting. He tells the attendees around the boardroom table, “Time to get rid of Rothman.”</div><div><br /></div><div>At the bar, a smiling Rothman smashes a bottle against a bouncer’s head, knocking him out. </div><div><br /></div><div>The next day, Detectives Frank nonchalantly suggests he will make dinner for Laurie at her apartment while they discuss the case. Like any normal college student, Laurie finds nothing unusual about a police detective offering to make dinner at her home, so she tells him when her last class is done. Unbeknownst to either of them, however, someone is monitoring their phone conversation.</div><div><br /></div><div>Of course, Detective Frank makes Laurie spaghetti. (Amusingly, as they eat spaghetti, they are watched via hidden camera by two men eating pizza.) She does not want to tell him anything about her work with Dr. Rothman so he talks about the meal, made with clams and olive oil. “Which one are you?” he asks suggestively. “Fresh clams or the virgin olive oil?”</div><div><br /></div><div>Of course, she giggles at his little joke.</div><div><br /></div><div>After dinner, Laurie watches TV while Frank washes dishes. Mysteriously, the TV shows digital patterns, triggering Laurie to pick up a knife.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2sjY2XcVDsumS3ih6-q4dJ_zNVaY220qKyESXLeelVzAmswcBTi9ydaBGyy-Wp-zuYhHdEwgdCP6l4W3RCqNXlVngmizCZEy2y5gtD9Onh-W74eb5qj4zAx2SCaGMzP6fClGMGOzgkVKZ_fDpOQ0to01qhspPRy62v38WkJ3RLLxq-3DyLzU-YFwqAEq6/s1871/LAURIE%20WITH%20KNIFE.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1229" data-original-width="1871" height="263" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2sjY2XcVDsumS3ih6-q4dJ_zNVaY220qKyESXLeelVzAmswcBTi9ydaBGyy-Wp-zuYhHdEwgdCP6l4W3RCqNXlVngmizCZEy2y5gtD9Onh-W74eb5qj4zAx2SCaGMzP6fClGMGOzgkVKZ_fDpOQ0to01qhspPRy62v38WkJ3RLLxq-3DyLzU-YFwqAEq6/w400-h263/LAURIE%20WITH%20KNIFE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Even more mysteriously, instead of stabbing Frank, she kisses him passionately. Then she tells him to get out and throws spaghetti at him.</div><div><br /></div><div>The next day, Dr. Rothman walks into class, gives a ten-second lecture, then dismisses everybody because he sees someone from Biotronics in the classroom. He exits the building and unties his dog’s leash from a railing (apparently having planned to leave his dog tied to the railing for the length of his class), but the dog gets away, running through campus dragging its leash. Dr. Rothman, for unknown reasons, simply stands in front of the building, failing to chase his dog.</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, Laurie investigates Dr. Rothman’s office during a brief interval when the professor, oddly, goes downstairs to get ice cream cones from the campus ice cream truck.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjryQmGqFov-e97cMXmA1FhUP4sZrI8-fABIhm1aLBMI2Hq85TrkVdlDtVANIWM4dsqekfXn7oHT2r_kZHGiDVWRThqi7rrGWjrlKXwTcau7_RzPA7WKn4X0nNFJCs-GwqGD9I7qKzToCRbhJ5F4BrLXvHPt4Kg44p9YgGJPXU1dGByGDHXhDaazAo3P85j/s1876/ICE%20CREAM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1230" data-original-width="1876" height="263" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjryQmGqFov-e97cMXmA1FhUP4sZrI8-fABIhm1aLBMI2Hq85TrkVdlDtVANIWM4dsqekfXn7oHT2r_kZHGiDVWRThqi7rrGWjrlKXwTcau7_RzPA7WKn4X0nNFJCs-GwqGD9I7qKzToCRbhJ5F4BrLXvHPt4Kg44p9YgGJPXU1dGByGDHXhDaazAo3P85j/w400-h263/ICE%20CREAM.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div><div>Later at night, Laurie’s friends Raj and Michelle break into the lab to use the machine, which results in Michelle biting Raj to death.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the thrilling climax, Dr. Rothman breaks into Laurie’s apartment. He starts to strangle her, but in a Hitchcockian moment he is distracted by her bizarre mirror lamp.</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0ENUJ4oRED4d7wobglNLrKMfniHv3DkhiUpiYFv94phhaY0s46oZ3788cguFiOUQn-XTMjDBx1MMoyMvRlgKOfUL_cT8h7CBFKisOuoEDmYiaK_sodQZzcEsqnbMMgRumHERDOxmgt0yZyMC3JjC3W0DikjUcStnEvD20EedBEv-o9U1W8IYdHRPiUud5/s1909/MIRROR%20LAMP.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1233" data-original-width="1909" height="259" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0ENUJ4oRED4d7wobglNLrKMfniHv3DkhiUpiYFv94phhaY0s46oZ3788cguFiOUQn-XTMjDBx1MMoyMvRlgKOfUL_cT8h7CBFKisOuoEDmYiaK_sodQZzcEsqnbMMgRumHERDOxmgt0yZyMC3JjC3W0DikjUcStnEvD20EedBEv-o9U1W8IYdHRPiUud5/w400-h259/MIRROR%20LAMP.png" width="400" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>He pushes her to the floor, then returns to his lab, where his confronted by the CEO of Biotronics. One of the CEO’s henchmen shoots Rothman and he dies in his lab. The Biotronics employees, however, find out that one of Rothman’s videotapes is missing. They immediately deduce that Laurie has it, so they go to her apartment.</div><div><br /></div><div>In a final series of events that can only be described as confusing, a would-be assassin dies by crashing his car into a tree, and Michelle, who has somehow become a vampire due to the computer experiments, appears in the CEO’s car and bites his neck.</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTyVNX5l3-aWp-uP31v_Z4vvp5Z5OG9lW1Jx8z09TiSNi8SrahlPhinbrdoICRlICboilEUO5WlWJLZgWKIgRhi4uUJWNCV-09fefrJAc3XZJH5CJeXYPTK2YO2AgTgzxOY0WGSSlkE0mJWNT9QMGd9XTufz0FnehItmakgS5_Y_GJ-_IMpFX2L6i50lhM/s1927/MICHELLE%20THE%20VAMPIRE.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1186" data-original-width="1927" height="246" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTyVNX5l3-aWp-uP31v_Z4vvp5Z5OG9lW1Jx8z09TiSNi8SrahlPhinbrdoICRlICboilEUO5WlWJLZgWKIgRhi4uUJWNCV-09fefrJAc3XZJH5CJeXYPTK2YO2AgTgzxOY0WGSSlkE0mJWNT9QMGd9XTufz0FnehItmakgS5_Y_GJ-_IMpFX2L6i50lhM/w400-h246/MICHELLE%20THE%20VAMPIRE.png" width="400" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>Laurie and Detective Frank return to Rothman’s lab, where they find Michelle. She screams, her eyes wide. The film, instead of showing us what happens to Laurie and Frank, dissolves to a suburban home somewhere where a young boy whom we have never seen before plays the new video game Brain Twisters from Biotronics Incorporated. (Game is perhaps an overstatement, as it is simply a 3D image of a blocky man holding a gun rotating around a grid.)</div><div><br /></div><div>The End</div></div><div><br /></div><hr /><div><br /></div></div><div style="text-align: left;">I have barely scratched the surface of the complexity of Brain Twisters. One thing I have not mentioned is that the film frequently shows the university handyman (the man standing in front of the tiny closet doors) watching the main characters. This red herring is never resolved, or even addressed in dialogue, unless he is perhaps one of the Biotronics Corporation's assassins. The appropriateness of the (perhaps lopsided) romance between the adult Detective Frank and the college student Laurie is also not addressed. The campus ice cream truck offering blood-red frozen treats is similarly never addressed. Finally, of course, the ability of the computer graphics to turn people either suicidal, homicidal, or vampiric is also never explained -- though the revelation in the final scene that Biotronics makes video games and their apparent overarching plan is to turn children either suicidal, homicidal, or vampiric raises both questions and the specter of a potential sequel that was never realized. In any case, the late and unfortunately forgotten auteur Jerry Sanguiliano can rest peacefully in the knowledge that he created a landmark film of great complexity, emotional power, and satisfyingly unresolved ambiguity.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>Doctor Pseudonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07584099620426375486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-909065385728154804.post-27471345995176387932024-02-26T04:00:00.000-08:002024-02-26T04:00:00.131-08:00"I Heard That There's a Problem on an Island" - Zombies: The Beginning (2007)<div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_nnhVSvamesIe3O7ffIB1J9T52uXuFJzRai9D9kc_5S__qfwmUFCsv7o0EWDKcgoBabFaO-KPuzxlrt7_btaD14C4fJGjJizKRlFkmhobk7ytY0Kk5TNiS6Ci3Uk1XNu_7_gWgGRExslbjdU2pWkHJCMWIJ2zGP47m_t8gjkHi5WXxuDfmP3UAl_WqLQH/s1460/Zombies%20the%20Beginning%20Title.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="1460" height="176" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_nnhVSvamesIe3O7ffIB1J9T52uXuFJzRai9D9kc_5S__qfwmUFCsv7o0EWDKcgoBabFaO-KPuzxlrt7_btaD14C4fJGjJizKRlFkmhobk7ytY0Kk5TNiS6Ci3Uk1XNu_7_gWgGRExslbjdU2pWkHJCMWIJ2zGP47m_t8gjkHi5WXxuDfmP3UAl_WqLQH/w640-h176/Zombies%20the%20Beginning%20Title.png" width="640" /></a></div>The late Bruno Mattei's final film, Zombies: The Beginning (2007), is a direct sequel to his previous film, <a href="https://www.senselesscinema.com/2024/01/island-of-the-living-dead.html">Island of the Living Dead</a> (also 2007). Both films show that Mr. Mattei never lost his touch at making creative horror films that cannibalized bits and pieces from earlier movies to develop entertaining, surprising stories. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Of course, some of your universe's critics don't understand Mr. Mattei's films. About Zombies: The Beginning, reviewer slothworx <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2049462/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, admittedly with great eloquence, "This is stupid. I'm a big fan of zombie flicks, but this one is awful and stupid." Reviewer matthewhemmings <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw3565885/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "This one stunk like the cheese counter at your local supermarket, or that big bag of especially dank green you just picked up." And reviewer Uriah43 <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw5848465/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "I will just say that this sequel was just as bad as the first film in that it still had a bad script, bad character development and bad acting along with bad costumes and sets."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Read on for a more down-to-earth appreciation of Bruno Mattei's Zombies: The Beginning...<br /><div><br /></div><div><span><a name='more'></a></span>The film begins with the events that ended <a href="https://www.senselesscinema.com/2024/01/island-of-the-living-dead.html">Island of the Living Dead</a> (2007) as a woman (played by Yvette Yzon from the previous film) is rescued by a helicopter that finds her raft on the ocean. In the hospital, she is revealed to be a zombie with sharp teeth. She kills a nurse (in an echo of the first bite of 1978’s Dawn of the Dead), but the incident is simply a dream. Ms. Yzon’s character Sharon, who is a scientist in this film, explains to a board of directors that zombies killed the crew of the ship in the last film. Unfortunately, the board members fail to believe her. Defiantly, she says, “Look, I already know how this will all end up, but those creatures exist, and they are there.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Sharon is fired from the company. The CEO’s parting words: “My advice to you is to start taking care of yourself and not these incredible resuscitated dead bodies!”</div><div><br /></div><div>Six months later, Sharon sleeps in a Buddhist temple, still having dreams of the living dead attacking her. A man named Paul Barker arrives at the temple to tell her that her former company knows she was telling the truth. He wants her to join a rescue expedition to find a lost medical team that was, somewhat confusingly, transporting tissue samples of the zombies from one island to another island. Sensibly and predictably, she refuses, saying, “I’m not going back there. You can’t make me.”</div><div><br /></div><div>After more nightmares, Sharon realizes she can’t keep running from her past, so she goes to a site identified as Submarine Base South East Pacific Ocean to join the rescue expedition. Here, a corporate paramilitary group prepares to leave on the voyage, for some reason choosing an exterior location in the middle of a downpour for a briefing. The officer in charge tells his troops, “I heard that there’s a problem on an island, and they called us. We’re gonna resolve that problem no matter what it may be. I expect the maximum effort of power here. Anything less, I can tell you, and you’ll regret the day you didn’t join the police academy. Is that clear? Do you want me to lead you? Cause if you don’t, then that strange sensation up your pants will be my foot up your ass.” The officer tells them about the living dead.</div><div><br /></div><div>One of his troops laughs nervously. “You mean like zombies? Like George Romero?”</div><div><br /></div><div>Sharon steps in to tell the troops her story, aided by some footage from Island of the Living Dead. She warns them eloquently, “You can’t kill what’s already dead.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Sharon and the troops take a submarine to the new island. Their two Zodiacs deposit approximately fifty troops, including Sharon, onto the island. They immediately find a van, but its only occupant is a skeleton. Then they reach some kind of command post. Perhaps unwisely, the troops blow up a door marked “Biohazard,” which results in no particular danger, though the soldiers find some ambiguously human body parts on the ground.</div><div><br /></div><div>Sharon and the commanders of the operation watch the troops’ progress on a series of video monitors from another command post. One of the soldiers on video remarks on what is happening: “It looks like we’re seeing a horror film, but I can guarantee you it’s disgustingly real.”</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFBCCxJeGTVx3Ye_6ENe2HX4uFA1L6da2M4Ev93mK2elhdGGymiXnU68D4duaXWZB19gzedyNOdp9YRhN207-IwbhyecK-mTaSLKep1cn2U-bJ1CCZ0WR6aD4a1aQbCgbFo3-feIcxoQU0FT1v4qHdODK5vU_De6Q7r3F2FFw-KfeO5Q3_xhf9pchBuMQF/s2224/SOLDIER%20HOLDING%20UP%20GORE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1384" data-original-width="2224" height="249" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFBCCxJeGTVx3Ye_6ENe2HX4uFA1L6da2M4Ev93mK2elhdGGymiXnU68D4duaXWZB19gzedyNOdp9YRhN207-IwbhyecK-mTaSLKep1cn2U-bJ1CCZ0WR6aD4a1aQbCgbFo3-feIcxoQU0FT1v4qHdODK5vU_De6Q7r3F2FFw-KfeO5Q3_xhf9pchBuMQF/w400-h249/SOLDIER%20HOLDING%20UP%20GORE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Once the troops and commanders are reunited, they find a lab where bloody dead fetuses are confined in large tubes. It appears the company was conducting experiments on pregnant women.</div><div><br /></div><div>Suddenly, the troops’ wrist-mounted motion detectors go off, but the men have trouble finding whatever is setting their equipment off. In a tense moment (made even more tense to those who have not seen the film Aliens), the men are attacked from above by what appear to be a giant-headed zombie fetus.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhK_SZGvTppBcqVPsyf6vo0tQkIiFMipx4TT_XCtEbJvLLwPUzYeukxDUu3lhoJWBxW2E2_3ykz0jCBnembu5p_l7eGtrH0uJHaK28qwDnCGWrHJFC0kQpKlsJvtlJVeU2I00B1y0-WfbZX9SvV6gw0-rm6WZeiWBGLmSqEbdsjMMz02BLVsLHCGI15M6n/s2224/ATTACK%20BY%20ZOMBIE%20FETUS.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1216" data-original-width="2224" height="219" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhK_SZGvTppBcqVPsyf6vo0tQkIiFMipx4TT_XCtEbJvLLwPUzYeukxDUu3lhoJWBxW2E2_3ykz0jCBnembu5p_l7eGtrH0uJHaK28qwDnCGWrHJFC0kQpKlsJvtlJVeU2I00B1y0-WfbZX9SvV6gw0-rm6WZeiWBGLmSqEbdsjMMz02BLVsLHCGI15M6n/w400-h219/ATTACK%20BY%20ZOMBIE%20FETUS.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Back in the other control room inside the truck (which must be far larger than it appears), Paul Barker supervises as his corporate flunkies scan the island for company employees. He explains about personal data, “Every member of Tyler, Inc. had theirs surgically tattooed on their arms.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Just like the Nazis,” says a flunky matter-of-factly.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Yeah,” Barker says just as matter-of-factly, “just like the SS.”</div><div><br /></div><div>When the scanner finds employees of the company, Barker and Sharon join a rescue party in the truck they found on the island. This leads to another sequence in which armed soldiers raid an apparently abandoned building. Director Bruno Mattei uses all his suspense-building skills as the men move through an empty room and see a strange liquid dripping down a wall. Their superior tells them over the radio, “Be careful before firing. Remember that we’re looking for civilians here.” Then he cries, “Look out!” but, perhaps surprisingly, nobody reacts to this admonition and nothing happens.</div><div><br /></div><div>After several minutes of walking, the soldiers find a room full of body bags hanging from the ceiling. Then they find a room full of women’s courses that were either pregnant or recently pregnant. One woman is still alive. After begging for the soldiers to kill her, her belly erupts.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG-HQvfzNTGCz8jJxI5q1WwTi2OTiFtCuzxn19rG0lNKj9ZNOqjm_e3LL76eTzyXmZIDoZ_zWtOYSI8xnaBljvAFVhfX-LDcgDVFbhOr1FzGinDCzyjVgBNUaEezIIdsKfcnAJKGzCHbB01XV4UEywOxIZEJs_X4MQMKzDHVwdOurxvFP9PYMFJw5H0bC2/s2224/ZOMBIE%20BIRTH.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1246" data-original-width="2224" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG-HQvfzNTGCz8jJxI5q1WwTi2OTiFtCuzxn19rG0lNKj9ZNOqjm_e3LL76eTzyXmZIDoZ_zWtOYSI8xnaBljvAFVhfX-LDcgDVFbhOr1FzGinDCzyjVgBNUaEezIIdsKfcnAJKGzCHbB01XV4UEywOxIZEJs_X4MQMKzDHVwdOurxvFP9PYMFJw5H0bC2/w400-h224/ZOMBIE%20BIRTH.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Mercifully, the soldiers blast the woman and the creature with flamethrowers.</div><div><br /></div><div>The room is then assaulted from all sides by zombies. The soldiers shoot indiscriminately, yelling “Fire!” repeatedly before retreating through an open door. However, there is little hope for the solders until Sharon decides to start the truck and mount a rescue operation. She makes a skillful three-point turn in the large vehicle, then backs it up to the besieged building.</div><div><br /></div><div>After a handful of soldiers are rescued, Sharon drives the truck back to a safer building, dodging a zombie that reaches through the perhaps poorly conceived opening in the roof of the truck’s cab.</div><div><br /></div><div>Of course, once the humans are safe, they begin arguing. Sharon wants to destroy the facility on the island, but Barker, the representative of the corporation, refuses to allow this, though he is contradicted by one of the soldiers, who says he is now in charge. They hit upon a plan (whose details I must admit I do not fully understand) to restore an antenna in the facility, which will somehow allow them to leave the island and also destroy it. There is also a submarine involved, but this is only mentioned later. A female soldier, Kramer, takes on the mission to realign the antenna because she is the only qualified person. Unfortunately, Kramer is quickly ripped in half.</div><div><br /></div><div>“We’d better barricade ourselves in the laboratory,” Sharon says from the comfort of the safe building. “They’re coming for us.”</div><div><br /></div><div>In the laboratory, however, Kramer and his crony attempt to reanimate a zombie fetus because his assignment from Tyler, Inc. was to retrieve living zombies from the island.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb71e5R4xm7ciK3jaB982qAXTGWvIGPt2yFf0pX6rf9ceoAzSUAS9-FY5lfRl-Ew_dzQ7KTh07-ObwPHb_If6t96misc6Td4CoGNPNi3cAdKqSdFhunTR-KUJsyql9kEz6rIAhQwKqitPGe2t0vFn5aTROy_aXUI1xwt2-pjVfddhbqfrAUBhb_1W0BL2-/s2360/REANIMATING%20ZOMBIE%20FETUS.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1292" data-original-width="2360" height="219" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb71e5R4xm7ciK3jaB982qAXTGWvIGPt2yFf0pX6rf9ceoAzSUAS9-FY5lfRl-Ew_dzQ7KTh07-ObwPHb_If6t96misc6Td4CoGNPNi3cAdKqSdFhunTR-KUJsyql9kEz6rIAhQwKqitPGe2t0vFn5aTROy_aXUI1xwt2-pjVfddhbqfrAUBhb_1W0BL2-/w400-h219/REANIMATING%20ZOMBIE%20FETUS.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Barker tells Sharon, “I’m really disappointed in you, you know, Sharon. I expected more from you. I thought you were smarter than that.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Cleverly, Sharon replies, “I’m only happy to disappoint you, Barker.”</div><div><br /></div><div>After she leaves, Sharon finds herself trapped alone in the lab with some zombies, but she is soon rescued by soldiers, one of whom flamethrowers a particularly grotesque zombie. The rescue allows Sharon to reveal to the soldiers that Barker’s plan was to recover active zombies for Tyler, Inc. Before they can punish Barker, however, more zombies invade the lab and there is another shootout.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4TEuk26ctWiXobCuIKiViTXPevMMYJ7SZstWFqokJ8cMVFbgFKHtaQFmmrdmCJCcXvyDkJKRV1c9yUqWt3kgV4zMS33Troj_-LrBzHnvj3CJJoRM6H28qMXUy_ludnpHd0_aSeCYmEonAJGbVWo6gETuiYsz4OE08LefI7mcPnOlQD-T8_zjeeReSBpn_/s2360/ZOMBIE%20MASSACRE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1311" data-original-width="2360" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4TEuk26ctWiXobCuIKiViTXPevMMYJ7SZstWFqokJ8cMVFbgFKHtaQFmmrdmCJCcXvyDkJKRV1c9yUqWt3kgV4zMS33Troj_-LrBzHnvj3CJJoRM6H28qMXUy_ludnpHd0_aSeCYmEonAJGbVWo6gETuiYsz4OE08LefI7mcPnOlQD-T8_zjeeReSBpn_/w400-h223/ZOMBIE%20MASSACRE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Just as things look bleakest, the soldiers receive a radio signal from a nearby submarine. At the same time, Barker separates himself from the others, but too late discovers he has locked himself in a lab where the formerly pregnant zombies have come back to life. In a fitting punishment, Barker is ripped open and eaten by the zombie women.</div><div><br /></div><div>In a creepy scene, the most cowardly of the soldiers is isolated inside a room where he is killed by a group of sharp-toothed zombies.</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVPlGhJ2JQQsMTl2IHzs01_In6PCKihDT-11UTc_yQvvU-PASVfvPIG3NcEi1PdvrBtqWR95CzZAtBz7LaSfkdIHaKMLyuGdlk5ZFTVhLbwvNUFQolFMpwAmmTH_ZUa6_0DGe_WVF6RCY9hlbQ2gxtpcFlzWePdavTJZ7s_lBU8EtDchBVO_6SB3BzbS8h/s2360/ZOMBIES%20FEEDING.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1283" data-original-width="2360" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVPlGhJ2JQQsMTl2IHzs01_In6PCKihDT-11UTc_yQvvU-PASVfvPIG3NcEi1PdvrBtqWR95CzZAtBz7LaSfkdIHaKMLyuGdlk5ZFTVhLbwvNUFQolFMpwAmmTH_ZUa6_0DGe_WVF6RCY9hlbQ2gxtpcFlzWePdavTJZ7s_lBU8EtDchBVO_6SB3BzbS8h/w400-h217/ZOMBIES%20FEEDING.png" width="400" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>Soon, only Sharon and soldier Taylor remain, and Taylor is quickly bitten by a zombie. (Ironically, Sharon and Taylor had made a pact earlier in a scene that might have been intended to be romantic to shoot each other rather than be turned). Sharon gets him to the truck and drives to another facility. Leaving Taylor in the truck, she takes a large weapon into the facility, where she finds the ultimate expression of the corporation’s experiments: zombie children with giant heads.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhts5Prsbr36vDEeM6sNrfb4TX40VfjXtspbPLZZ6eNz5NIT58861srUzlnnWgp0uibv34iC7kmOBtnXU_qeLNC8wpCrqbgYJnGzpDzNL2XD5MXKwXfbGpb8OX_MMIb5207Gn4QwuQ1E3fs2X5n1dl-nfyH5O0osyzdtDe0pnTT8FrG2Pr1l5kXnHOL81Ae/s2360/ZOMBIE%20CHILD.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1326" data-original-width="2360" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhts5Prsbr36vDEeM6sNrfb4TX40VfjXtspbPLZZ6eNz5NIT58861srUzlnnWgp0uibv34iC7kmOBtnXU_qeLNC8wpCrqbgYJnGzpDzNL2XD5MXKwXfbGpb8OX_MMIb5207Gn4QwuQ1E3fs2X5n1dl-nfyH5O0osyzdtDe0pnTT8FrG2Pr1l5kXnHOL81Ae/w400-h225/ZOMBIE%20CHILD.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>She also finds a cave underneath the facility where zombie women are attached organically to the walls, presumably giving birth to the zombie children. The entire nightmarish scene is presided over by a suspended brain.</div><div><br /></div><div>The brain speaks telepathically: “What do you want to do now, Sharon? Yours is a hopeless fight, you see. Come, my darlings. Come to your creator.” The brain offers her a choice to join it. “It’s such a sweet surrender to become one of a master race.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“No!” Sharon cries. “You and your disgusting children from Hell have to disappear from the face of the earth.”</div><div><br /></div><div>She flamethrowers the children as well as the zombie mothers. As a result, apparently, the brain spontaneously explodes.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsIfjphozEibk3D3tlT427Ou0DbjzrQMkhG_9KWPZ_D8-DI2oLbCQlCoK_Gyz_cgUgvjJQzfmO76xE1ZmwXng5OGykv7etx4Gd9WmByYnqWmzOxEfQoQKO4mVEOPQ4jZBR_uYP7G1FeuoAxdo2Evp6JTH6mtEveNSBbxv7bKPm5RqoK6CJeP1pQNs421SU/s2360/BRAIN.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1289" data-original-width="2360" height="219" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsIfjphozEibk3D3tlT427Ou0DbjzrQMkhG_9KWPZ_D8-DI2oLbCQlCoK_Gyz_cgUgvjJQzfmO76xE1ZmwXng5OGykv7etx4Gd9WmByYnqWmzOxEfQoQKO4mVEOPQ4jZBR_uYP7G1FeuoAxdo2Evp6JTH6mtEveNSBbxv7bKPm5RqoK6CJeP1pQNs421SU/w400-h219/BRAIN.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Sharon runs back to the truck, which is besieged by more zombies. Taylor sacrifices himself to allow Sharon to escape. Meanwhile, the submarine surfaces. Sharon reaches a dock and turns around to see all the facilities on the island explode.</div><div><br /></div><div>The End</div><div><br /></div><div>(The final shot of the film is a quick scene showing Bruno Mattei, followed by the words “Ciao Bruno” onscreen as a loving tribute to the late master of a very particular kind of film.)</div><div><br /></div><hr /><div><br /></div><div>Cleverly, in a nod to Island of the Living Dead's tour through zombie film history, Bruno Mattei makes Zombies: The Beginning (an ingenious title for a sequel, by the way) a reflection of the James Cameron film Aliens. However, the finale with the possibly alien brain and the factory producing zombie children is one of the most creative, disturbing, and surprising endings of Mr. Mattei's career...and Mr. Mattei was the director of <a href="https://www.senselesscinema.com/2017/07/rats-night-of-terror.html">Rats: Night of Terror</a> (1984), a film with a justifiably famous ending. Taking into account the various genres Mr. Mattei tackled in his life as a filmmaker -- from horror to action to pornography -- Zombies: The Beginning is not only a worthy modern zombie movie but also a fitting final entry in his storied filmography. May Bruno Mattei rest in well-deserved peace.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div>Doctor Pseudonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07584099620426375486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-909065385728154804.post-56180008012578660062024-02-12T04:00:00.000-08:002024-02-12T04:00:00.142-08:00"One Bite and He'll Leave You Flat-Chested" - Death Dimension (1971)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidjr63YK2-0dqnP-07NOWsAgilwO-dJTt9NSfUGneeK67tP8SDXOxkVh7uTpfrLgTflW6Ub9yvCZDhk_GLD6uR5gChvbxkY4n2_QIhISu_-Ggc0DeSMMAqU3lH1sEg25AAzR70o-Oqq86OK9zq4VTNeZk_cOX-Pm1kQOJYTR6XdAUiX7R2fuO7WcdpkuJ1/s1528/Death%20Dimension%20Title.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="1528" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidjr63YK2-0dqnP-07NOWsAgilwO-dJTt9NSfUGneeK67tP8SDXOxkVh7uTpfrLgTflW6Ub9yvCZDhk_GLD6uR5gChvbxkY4n2_QIhISu_-Ggc0DeSMMAqU3lH1sEg25AAzR70o-Oqq86OK9zq4VTNeZk_cOX-Pm1kQOJYTR6XdAUiX7R2fuO7WcdpkuJ1/w640-h168/Death%20Dimension%20Title.png" width="640" /></a></div>Let us turn our sights to perhaps the most action-packed film ever made, Al Adamson's Death Dimension (1971) starring the redoubtable Jim Kelly. Of course, when one thinks of action, one thinks of Al Adamson, a director with the uncanny ability to incorporate more chases per minute into a film than any other director.<br /><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Of course, some of your universe's critics fail to appreciate Death Dimension. For example, reviewer Wizard-8 <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw0159020/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "This is an incredibly boring movie." Reviewer mhorg2018 <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw8213167/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "Adamson can't direct, can't write, can't edit. Ed Wood was a better movie maker than this guy." And reviewer michaelRokeefe <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2225394/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "Poorly written and directed; you get the impression this flick was done on a budget that relied on a bounced check."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Read on for the truth about Death Dimension...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div><span><a name='more'></a></span>The film begins shockingly as a scalpel begins slicing into a woman’s forehead as light jazz music plays. The surgeon implants a black disc the size of a dime into the conscious woman’s head, and then we watch as he sutures the incision. As the woman (whose forehead now seems completely unblemished) gets off the table, the surgeon tells her something she no doubt already knows: “The microdot under your scalp contains all the information on my work here on the island. It must not fall into the wrong hands. Trust no one.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The woman, Felicia, leaves just before the surgeon injects himself with something. Minutes later, the surgeon attends an experimental test of a freeze ray in which four men strapped to posts in what appears to be the southern California mountains are killed by a bomb that produces a great deal of snow.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiDFp3dACwXSKvcwBI_mkrAnGRBa-kd9GVt8Avn12ZyvXNVdDEpwZ-v8vQbP9jzRG-XVaQ47iJlp35GsdQfVTJ5AMDe9ZbHEPrrlmd0Sr4GEOp5GvrQ87uDTibLcrX5Zp3_sBr5MzeLgH-vfrKuf0aXGQOWAGxUle6FUQHrP9Vz_9luijy60SNH2TLY4Z2/s2224/SNOW.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1202" data-original-width="2224" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiDFp3dACwXSKvcwBI_mkrAnGRBa-kd9GVt8Avn12ZyvXNVdDEpwZ-v8vQbP9jzRG-XVaQ47iJlp35GsdQfVTJ5AMDe9ZbHEPrrlmd0Sr4GEOp5GvrQ87uDTibLcrX5Zp3_sBr5MzeLgH-vfrKuf0aXGQOWAGxUle6FUQHrP9Vz_9luijy60SNH2TLY4Z2/w400-h216/SNOW.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The surgeon explains to the man running the test, “My invention is for weather control, to eliminate droughts in the world, meant to help man, not to harm him. How can I be happy?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“That’s your problem,” says the villain (known fancifully as The Pig and played by Harold ‘Odd Job’ Sakata). “As for me, I couldn’t be more delighted.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Unfortunately, the villain’s henchmen realize that the surgeon’s assistant Felicia is running away and the office was set on fire. As the villain harangues him, the doctor reveals he has already killed himself by injecting himself with poison. He dies unceremoniously.</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, a man sneaking into the compound to ogle a woman lounging by a pool in a bikini is killed by a scarred bodyguard, who slices the man’s throat with his bare hands.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu9dxdSO38IbPTi022rr9mi-rYjel8ptwOT7IhRiCLoxCfJNn5hgfsCuN6jvrItV7Qj0uPZA7NglNizArcA78cgEz9iPQ8DN0CvJOuGna5n3-ACfW90EJgLedT6ekzkafwmCCTN5svxTMSjfzhxluidcCI_Q60cPoVQ7fg86tOVkWGIvPSnA9ZTE2sDXz2/s2224/SLICED%20THROAT.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1182" data-original-width="2224" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu9dxdSO38IbPTi022rr9mi-rYjel8ptwOT7IhRiCLoxCfJNn5hgfsCuN6jvrItV7Qj0uPZA7NglNizArcA78cgEz9iPQ8DN0CvJOuGna5n3-ACfW90EJgLedT6ekzkafwmCCTN5svxTMSjfzhxluidcCI_Q60cPoVQ7fg86tOVkWGIvPSnA9ZTE2sDXz2/w400-h213/SLICED%20THROAT.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Elsewhere, policeman Jim Kelly teaches a karate class to a group of men. “There’s only one reason for this class, gentlemen. That’s to teach you how to survive in the street. The name of the game is to save your ass.” After class, Mr. Kelly is summoned to the police captain’s office, where the captain (played by a nonchalant George Lazenby) explains the man killed poolside earlier was investigating (not entirely competently, apparently) the mob boss Joe Santa Massino, aka The Pig. Mr. Kelly realizes from the death photos of the undercover man that the killer was left-handed as well as Haitian, due to the fact that the killer was wearing a ring on the little finger of his left hand. (Of course, Haitians are the only people capable of wearing rings in this fashion.) Also, The Pig has a successful freeze bomb that causes everything in its vicinity to approach a temperature of absolute zero. The captain assigns Mr. Kelly (a local police officer) to go to Reno to find the scientist’s daughter.</div><div><br /></div><div>After having sex with his girlfriend and shirtlessly fighting off two attackers who invade his apartment, Mr. Kelly determines that The Pig already knows he has been assigned to the case. </div><div><br /></div><div>Mr. Kelly is then immediately involved in a relatively uneventful car chase which leads to an ambush. Mr. Kelly pulls out nunchucks (which he has apparently been carrying with him) and fends off his ambushers. After this scene (which those who do not consider themselves action film connoisseurs might consider “pointless”), Mr. Kelly catches a flight to Reno.</div><div><br /></div><div>The next morning, Mr. Kelly arrives at The Pig’s compound, which also serves as a brothel. He chooses a prostitute from among the large selection, but when she is undressing he sneaks out of her room to find what is advertised as a jacuzzi party. Thrown out of the party, he leaves the compound, then sneaks to the real compound next door, climbing over the twelve-foot-high chain link fence and “serpentining” his way to the cover of the bushes. Unfortunately, he is noticed immediately as one of The Pig’s men yells, “Hey, black turkey!”</div><div><br /></div><div>Of course, Mr. Kelly takes care of all The Pig’s goons without a scratch. He is soon joined by his friend Li, who also has no problem beating up dozens of henchmen (who, perhaps oddly, wear stockings over their heads, despite being employed by The Pig at his compound). They find out The Pig is actually at Lake Tahoe, so they ride a boat to a wooded shore, where they must beat up still more of The Pig’s hundreds of henchmen. This leads somewhat confusingly to a boat chase across Lake Tahoe.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSqU_IXw4BBF-59rXivNJJrKokOD6Npq-zktMX0fiBUVqjy-XCUsh4GMgI6xdgXZlHBAu95tY79lvKkbSGQZGWoJxGDigAUn2JCgohksiOZ2gzu8tRBnFeZa-NuQ-bJk2Rm_ovxX1lIR2TONfXktOqzsThcM_Q-ibM3Kd7W3RkfJsR5D8rDZTDTH7gJGDP/s2224/BOAT%20CHASE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1168" data-original-width="2224" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSqU_IXw4BBF-59rXivNJJrKokOD6Npq-zktMX0fiBUVqjy-XCUsh4GMgI6xdgXZlHBAu95tY79lvKkbSGQZGWoJxGDigAUn2JCgohksiOZ2gzu8tRBnFeZa-NuQ-bJk2Rm_ovxX1lIR2TONfXktOqzsThcM_Q-ibM3Kd7W3RkfJsR5D8rDZTDTH7gJGDP/w400-h210/BOAT%20CHASE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The chase ends with all the henchmen in the water. Li quips, “That’s the first bath they’ve taken all month.” He then adds, less humorously, “We could be busted for pollution.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“At least we found out The Pig’s in LA, huh?” Mr. Kelly says (the audience is unaware of how this information was gleaned, or indeed of why Mr. Kelly and Li initiated the boat chase in the first place).</div><div><br /></div><div>The filmmakers cut to Los Angeles, where The Pig and his associates ride in a limousine while The Pig calls LA “the armpit of the world.” He reveals they are in LA to chase Felicia. A henchman indicates that the scientist’s daughter, Joan Mason, has been taken care of, arousing the audience’s suspicions when the next scene shows Felicia entering Joan Mason’s home in Los Angeles. “I’m so glad you found me,” Joan says. However, Felicia quickly realizes Joan is an imposter because she explains her tan as the result of spending time in Palm Springs rather than at the beach. Felicia leaves the house as soon as she can.</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, Felicia escapes from The Pig’s scarred bodyguard and wanders the seedy streets of Los Angeles at night, leading to surreal visuals of nighttime traffic as seen through the multifaceted eyes of a fly, for no apparent reason.</div><div><br /></div><div>The next day, Mr. Kelly’s girlfriend is killed by the scarred Haitian bodyguard when she takes a shower. Mr. Kelly and the captain realizes the bodyguard and The Pig are in Los Angeles due to the wound that killed his girlfriend. “It’s a lousy break,” the captain says, though they were already aware The Pig came to LA, so it is barely a break.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2J4TSlWC1N1-BUp5UeurrBkDs9SQ90-_7r_MWrKkIuXpaAtIS4Mv_25Vs7KZEd3Ec7ggYrhUH2HWNNMmZ1luSpuYzXyRrRkjByzD2RUzyzE6u9BxrHQyfHXYBxU2-J1VB6R4ypOGW7tvj-Ucg-UcCTUqvPXFgarzWYvcfPujgYUSS-Um4n14Io2w8X9Cm/s2224/GIRLFRIEND%20DEAD.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1182" data-original-width="2224" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2J4TSlWC1N1-BUp5UeurrBkDs9SQ90-_7r_MWrKkIuXpaAtIS4Mv_25Vs7KZEd3Ec7ggYrhUH2HWNNMmZ1luSpuYzXyRrRkjByzD2RUzyzE6u9BxrHQyfHXYBxU2-J1VB6R4ypOGW7tvj-Ucg-UcCTUqvPXFgarzWYvcfPujgYUSS-Um4n14Io2w8X9Cm/w400-h213/GIRLFRIEND%20DEAD.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>There follows another car chase, as Mr. Kelly is shot at in the hospital parking lot. He gives chase and the villains lead him into the desert. Mr. Kelly takes care of them by jumping on top of their car, then jumping off just as the car flies over a cliff.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIpWMxfLWlgToVj2tMMpe5fNisaHUUHpyRoam-UOrlh8dVAQRupQ7uSmnofc6-Q6tp8maR0K3E5KyupYCqrIYWJdLcgQ0xjKgo7pOKOeNbxyKbp0rseA8-rDvFQcNSNxXihoCKzfHaWBkuMcCCdkM4Hb1BEAuckb1ism2Oh2-6l22r-n1ecaZQu5AYcrB8/s2224/CAR%20OFF%20CLIFF.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1165" data-original-width="2224" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIpWMxfLWlgToVj2tMMpe5fNisaHUUHpyRoam-UOrlh8dVAQRupQ7uSmnofc6-Q6tp8maR0K3E5KyupYCqrIYWJdLcgQ0xjKgo7pOKOeNbxyKbp0rseA8-rDvFQcNSNxXihoCKzfHaWBkuMcCCdkM4Hb1BEAuckb1ism2Oh2-6l22r-n1ecaZQu5AYcrB8/w400-h210/CAR%20OFF%20CLIFF.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, The Pig holds a meeting in his Los Angeles headquarters (which appears to be a brothel with a similar layout to the one outside Reno) with the great Aldo Ray as Mr. Verde, a casual-wear enthusiast who is purchasing the freeze bomb from The Pig on behalf of an unnamed foreign nation. (Amusingly, in a Bond-like quirk, The Pig strokes a turtle throughout the meeting. Additionally, one of The Pig’s girls reads Mad Magazine throughout the meeting.) The results of the meeting are ambiguous, though The Pig tells Mr. Ray his country will get the bomb eventually.</div><div><br /></div><div>That night, Felicia finally calls the police, resulting in Mr. Kelly being assigned to pick her up from a fleabag hotel. Unfortunately, The Pig’s men arrive at the hotel and kidnap her just as Mr. Kelly arrives. They deliver her to The Pig’s brothel (notably, they get in their car at nighttime and arrive in broad daylight). </div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, in a dramatic scene between powerhouse actors Harold ‘Odd Job’ Sakata and Aldo Ray, the freeze bomb business deal is discussed again. “I gotta have something,” says Mr. Ray, “some proof.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“All I want to see is that money,” says The Pig.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Mr. Santo Massino, do you want me to be carrying 50 million dollars around like it was a…a…a sack of potatoes?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“My friend, money talks, bullshit walks.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“We shouldn’t conduct business like this,” says Mr. Ray, frustrated.</div><div><br /></div><div>“I conduct business this way,” replies The Pig. </div><div><br /></div><div>“I’m sorry to see our dealings degenerate to this level.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“All I want is the money,” The Pig repeats. “When I see it—“</div><div><br /></div><div>“Now, wait a minute! You want me to be carrying 50 million dollars on me? You know I’m not! I think you’re stalling. I don’t think you have Dr. Mason’s bomb at all!”</div><div><br /></div><div>“I have the test. It’s a successful test.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“You tested the bomb, I know that. But we also know a couple of other things.” (Here, Mr. Ray helpfully summarizes the film’s plot for audience members who are confused or forgetful.) “We know that Dr. Mason is dead. We also know that his formula was hidden someplace. But that didn’t bother us as long as you delivered. But you have not delivered and my people are getting impatient.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The Pig promises to bring the plans to Mr. Ray, but he wants to see the money. Therefore, The Pig leaves the negotiations and goes to another room in the brothel where he can torture Felicia into revealing the location of the plans for the freeze bomb using the age-old torture device of the live snapping turtle.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdqMJB9Fm2uVCpfMgw0__P3GOmnKADH_TVn8Ql7LfDnyg_fz-IpJiEVwGoeLMVQxKv3VTEICNKSpJrROVJpLyXwfpuN2ap-tE88amz0wxz1VGFEJe_sLx3zzCod8f9Fgr-GQf5OEmRG6Fgz09KpcxyD1-ztub9pQVmshF20fS7yGQUzb-qvFnRH0me02Tn/s2224/SNAPPING%20TURTLE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1198" data-original-width="2224" height="215" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdqMJB9Fm2uVCpfMgw0__P3GOmnKADH_TVn8Ql7LfDnyg_fz-IpJiEVwGoeLMVQxKv3VTEICNKSpJrROVJpLyXwfpuN2ap-tE88amz0wxz1VGFEJe_sLx3zzCod8f9Fgr-GQf5OEmRG6Fgz09KpcxyD1-ztub9pQVmshF20fS7yGQUzb-qvFnRH0me02Tn/w400-h215/SNAPPING%20TURTLE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The Pig quips, “One bite and he’ll leave you flat-chested. Talk!”</div><div><br /></div><div>Fortunately for all involved, the plot moves forward again when Felicia makes a phone call. Even though she is tied to a chair and unconscious due, understandably, to fear of turtles, Felicia wakes up, edges over to a desk, and dials the operator on a dial phone using a pen in her mouth. She reaches the captain and tells him she is in Palm Springs.</div><div><br /></div><div>In a surprising twist, it takes only a few minutes for the captain to drive from Los Angeles to Palm Springs. He enters The Pig’s brothel unnoticed and unties Felicia. Of course, this is only a ploy, as the captain is working for The Pig. He convinces her to tell him about the microdot implanted in her forehead, which gives The Pig everything he wants.</div><div><br /></div><div>Coincidentally, Mr. Kelly drives up to the brothel in time to see the captain’s car. Mr. Kelly knew something was fishy because The Pig knew the police’s every move, and the captain was the only logical traitor. So Mr. Kelly and his friend Li break into the unguarded brothel. They apprehend Aldo Ray just as The Pig uses a big knife to extract the microdot from under Felicia’s skin.</div><div><br /></div><div>Seconds later, Mr. Kelly breaks into the room, which leads The Pig and his henchman to run, which in turns leads to a car chase with Mr. Kelly driving after the villains’ car.</div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, Li attacks the captain by stalking him, dexterously making his way along the brothel’s tile roof.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibTBjITBAgQZfB1zdl-1ZoQGrz6KOpd8x0cLO9uI9bLSVxHlCZPbHaS4IlTlbOlXs7lin7dadifqjdKznLYjw9Hq4-1tstcoeTRpZtdq-OSRuIG9bvwVsm7_eU1WUYFv4EpHhhVyZJsvKqWXyRz4V88sFYwDPcg0hRS0q-QmfoKRBJ-AuMPWwzU5SybutW/s2224/ROOFTOP.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1182" data-original-width="2224" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibTBjITBAgQZfB1zdl-1ZoQGrz6KOpd8x0cLO9uI9bLSVxHlCZPbHaS4IlTlbOlXs7lin7dadifqjdKznLYjw9Hq4-1tstcoeTRpZtdq-OSRuIG9bvwVsm7_eU1WUYFv4EpHhhVyZJsvKqWXyRz4V88sFYwDPcg0hRS0q-QmfoKRBJ-AuMPWwzU5SybutW/w400-h213/ROOFTOP.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The captain finds himself thrown into a swimming pool and electrocuted by the business end of an extension cord.</div><div><br /></div><div>The action climaxes on the Palm Springs Aerial Tramway as The Pig and his bodyguard commandeer one tram and Mr. Kelly is forced to use a helicopter that coincidentally lands in the parking lot at the necessary moment (it might be the case that this is a police helicopter; if so, it is one without police markings). In one of the highest production value sequences of Al Adamson’s career, we witness a shootout between the helicopter and the aerial tram.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR121Re4XvIIgftXc9vX683M_s8xND7LSoe_vlx5gxxt3l5O5kokx3SzQ8LLKCyIgRhcw0AyLurzP441POtHgwOLEXV0wrnTUv71_kT2CeMEnxCI1_CxG08WfY4AMZRi4hlZPmSM06s1hcTJW7PcCYYUaO4Gl3xHIlGwMs4jNtdErMuqxjCD3IbMx3Qm1m/s2224/SHOOTOUT.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1176" data-original-width="2224" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR121Re4XvIIgftXc9vX683M_s8xND7LSoe_vlx5gxxt3l5O5kokx3SzQ8LLKCyIgRhcw0AyLurzP441POtHgwOLEXV0wrnTUv71_kT2CeMEnxCI1_CxG08WfY4AMZRi4hlZPmSM06s1hcTJW7PcCYYUaO4Gl3xHIlGwMs4jNtdErMuqxjCD3IbMx3Qm1m/w400-h211/SHOOTOUT.png" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div><div>Once the villains reach the top of the mountain, Mr. Kelly fights the bodyguard, the only character in the film that presents a physical challenge. Within moments, however, Mr. Kelly is able to punch the man so that he pinwheels his arms and then jumps off a cliff.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSU6oa2VA75P139gqh0_zzsAMewVc96CimpvyJmPyhsRYdEr_ldS_KDvW7AXWiqemBspSVUdy_1BVo4-BImbxaZ-z4iAXCDcNSKOMdNEK9sVPlFNSj9JSnXeQt0NGgimjhkrP4Itc-df9_WNEGlcjQ6SrmdTeAbkebvsBZJlAyXIHOActG5R2C2Eclt_vg/s2224/FALLING%20OFF%20CLIFF.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1165" data-original-width="2224" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSU6oa2VA75P139gqh0_zzsAMewVc96CimpvyJmPyhsRYdEr_ldS_KDvW7AXWiqemBspSVUdy_1BVo4-BImbxaZ-z4iAXCDcNSKOMdNEK9sVPlFNSj9JSnXeQt0NGgimjhkrP4Itc-df9_WNEGlcjQ6SrmdTeAbkebvsBZJlAyXIHOActG5R2C2Eclt_vg/w400-h210/FALLING%20OFF%20CLIFF.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>When he catches up to The Pig, Mr. Kelly also appears to be in trouble, as he is head-butted and pushed into a rock. After dodging an airplane from which villains toss dynamite, however, Mr. Kelly manages to shoot the plane down after it lands, The Pig climbs aboard, and it takes off again.</div><div><br /></div><div>The film ends with a freeze-frame as Mr. Kelly jump-kicks into the air.</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4c-NfahKakc9XWCe787U_0UbqplWqHjEubwFdGtjQhFuAcpXXw3CXxmzCS3zAHYkV_NE_OoOJNIsZLldcv4kLXYKHNy4uaKEyDMNEqVJhi0JtJk3LXMavpIZZypM6j54XFmCYRZhLU5Tc6jtBjTnLYV3GkT9ht0g3iGKuLnRjJc5lRg-rdXX-M4xlkG4N/s2224/JUMP%20KICK.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1185" data-original-width="2224" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4c-NfahKakc9XWCe787U_0UbqplWqHjEubwFdGtjQhFuAcpXXw3CXxmzCS3zAHYkV_NE_OoOJNIsZLldcv4kLXYKHNy4uaKEyDMNEqVJhi0JtJk3LXMavpIZZypM6j54XFmCYRZhLU5Tc6jtBjTnLYV3GkT9ht0g3iGKuLnRjJc5lRg-rdXX-M4xlkG4N/w400-h214/JUMP%20KICK.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><hr /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">As is clear from the summary above, Death Dimension is breathlessly paced, with foot chases leading to car chases and boat chases and helicopter chases. The boat chase itself is a marvel, in that there is no reason in the story for either group of characters to get on a boat, but as is typical with an Adamson movie the excitement of the moment more than makes up for any plot questions the audience might have. The film has no plot holes whatsoever, as all is explained by the presence of the traitorous George Lazenby, who is aided by the unwitting character of Felicia calling him on the phone at crucial moments in the narrative.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Of course, Death Dimension's best attribute is its seasoned cast full of charismatic stars: Jim Kelly, George Lazenby (occasionally disguising his Australian accent), Harold 'Odd Job' Sakata, and especially the great Aldo Ray in a performance that could have been flat and one-note but which touches on at least two notes, maybe three. One could argue this is Al Adamson's finest film (or at least his finest non-horror film), and the main reason, in addition to the blistering pace and exciting chases, is the flawless cast of professionals that bring the characters of I.J. Ash (Jim Kelly), The Pig (Harold 'Odd Job' Sakata), and the others, who may or may not have names, to life. Without a doubt, Death Dimension is one of the high points of action cinema.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>Doctor Pseudonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07584099620426375486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-909065385728154804.post-75955932978029277392024-01-29T04:00:00.000-08:002024-01-29T04:00:00.184-08:00"They Took It Pretty Tough" - Delirium (1979)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp7DHLAvOGyL20KRlE6wIzAYZdg71XQi540LPqA3g40qGvCL40ylMcrTFqP2XATi2I4lK6-YwkUMtHVI_Pnuri5jW9TWXApFmey5XAaa0Kl8iSR85ojpGa9aZuoNbKwrJwvBDqPcOkregXpSLf-xY3_uznr8HJyPEpnCfSLSjRYGuwsRHzMFiSOBpjyFlv/s1518/Delirium%20Title.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="1518" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp7DHLAvOGyL20KRlE6wIzAYZdg71XQi540LPqA3g40qGvCL40ylMcrTFqP2XATi2I4lK6-YwkUMtHVI_Pnuri5jW9TWXApFmey5XAaa0Kl8iSR85ojpGa9aZuoNbKwrJwvBDqPcOkregXpSLf-xY3_uznr8HJyPEpnCfSLSjRYGuwsRHzMFiSOBpjyFlv/w640-h168/Delirium%20Title.png" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;">Let us discuss an efficient thriller that took advantage of the slasher film's emerging popularity in 1979, Delirium. The first film directed by Peter Maris, who would go on to make films such as the post-apocalyptic Land of Doom (1986) and Alien Species (1996), Delirium combines a slasher film with a conspiracy thriller and a police action film to create a unique and thrilling experience set in the forests and streets of St. Louis.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Of course, some of your universe's critics are characteristically unkind to Delirium. Reviewer mhorg2018 <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw9278300/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a> somewhat cryptically about the film, "And Why doesn't IMDB have a ZERO rating? Everywhere someone can review should have that." Reviewer amandagellar-31077 <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw7848467/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "Everything about it feels amateur which could be forgiven if the script were any better." And reviewer P3n-E-W1s3 <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw3744963/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "be prepared to keep hitting the rewind button every time you wake up because this film has the power to induce sleep."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Of course, all these reviews are embarrassingly incorrect. Please read on for the truth about Delirium...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div><span><a name='more'></a></span>The film opens with an enormous car driving through the streets of St. Louis at night, followed by a much smaller car. When both cars park, the driver of the smaller car climbs into the larger car, which drives away. Then the larger car parks elsewhere and two occupants merge, but they reveal a third person in the car — a semi-conscious man. They drop him into the river, then return to their enormous car. The thrilling scene ends with the car driving off; it is in fact so enormous that it must make a three-point turn on a wide, wide street.</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, a blonde woman named Susan returns home to her apartment, only to find her roommate impaled with a sharp blade and suspended from a door, the blade pointing outward.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBgMtkX3d7R0R6Ms68A5gzLr5JyTDkaE0lLwq-vf3v1U-NMAjwhleJwiCGu5XoWQ8Yy-rxE3s3-JOI8VuwUNzA5eNHQmhmVEucLQJV2pbnZHTG_29NUN9AkPlIU7nijqtv1WNhak1y6HE9Y5q07_K81kUxz5lXyn5fcJILTHegkdbpAcQFQReyUHiQfezm/s2224/SUSPENDED%20ON%20DOOR.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1180" data-original-width="2224" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBgMtkX3d7R0R6Ms68A5gzLr5JyTDkaE0lLwq-vf3v1U-NMAjwhleJwiCGu5XoWQ8Yy-rxE3s3-JOI8VuwUNzA5eNHQmhmVEucLQJV2pbnZHTG_29NUN9AkPlIU7nijqtv1WNhak1y6HE9Y5q07_K81kUxz5lXyn5fcJILTHegkdbpAcQFQReyUHiQfezm/w400-h213/SUSPENDED%20ON%20DOOR.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>As detectives investigate the murder, Susan reveals that the murdered roommate Jenny was dating someone named Charlie. </div><div><br /></div><div>The film begins to follow Charlie, revealed to be the killer as he jogs through the forest when he has a flashback about the night he killed Jenny with a spear, which just happened to be hanging on the wall in her apartment. In a grotesque sequence, Charlie chases Jenny around the apartment, and when she shuts the door on him he rams the spear through the cheap wood — and through Jenny’s chest.</div><div><br /></div><div>Charlie also has a quick flashback about a firefight in Vietnam (or perhaps a wintry Missouri, but more likely Vietnam), where many soldiers died.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv2LvPx8ENB0JZKd2Z6iOUYkIjcNIdfnXyJKLth3FAeY5CEqeqlX_aDXRjlitQ4gsesLDl6cBjmuCaZDLzGjLkUry-briUuIfhtM4kjynTKLYs7mzEasZ5HcztxfkLIDDJJiP2Il-f-nRO9t3nQx6maHiCDl0ykgJNrhCYEO_TeJX6vNfExezTwRpEi2AH/s2224/VIETNAM%20FLASHBACK.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1163" data-original-width="2224" height="209" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv2LvPx8ENB0JZKd2Z6iOUYkIjcNIdfnXyJKLth3FAeY5CEqeqlX_aDXRjlitQ4gsesLDl6cBjmuCaZDLzGjLkUry-briUuIfhtM4kjynTKLYs7mzEasZ5HcztxfkLIDDJJiP2Il-f-nRO9t3nQx6maHiCDl0ykgJNrhCYEO_TeJX6vNfExezTwRpEi2AH/w400-h209/VIETNAM%20FLASHBACK.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>In the morning, Susan is cheerfully awakened by her friend, whose apartment she is sharing. Neither of the women seem unduly bothered by what happened last night.</div><div><br /></div><div>Elsewhere, Charlie steals a convertible Mercedes from a pair of picknickers. He picks up a young woman hitchhiking, then, saying nothing, he drives faster and faster while again reliving Jenny’s murder. This flashback forces him to swerve off the road. He simply walks away from the car, but the hitchhiker follows him.</div><div><br /></div><div>At the police station, the detectives conclude they have almost no information about Charlie, who applied for a job where Susan works but who didn’t even fill out an application. One of the detectives quips, “Maybe he’s one of those weirdos that goes around office buildings sizing up all the broads.” (This line is especially humorous given that the same detective was ogling a woman not two minutes earlier.) They also discuss the drowning death, ruled a suicide, of a criminal named Sykes, as seen in the film’s prologue. “I wish Charlie would kill himself,” says the detective insensitively. “It’d save us a hell of a lot of work.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Elsewhere, Charlie sits on a riverside beach while his hitchhiker friend strips naked (given the small amount of clothing she was wearing, this takes only a second or two) and enters the water. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqbdhgcJrZy0QLPMt53fiUNpk90lbnayFOhMMmHSSyYNoyG4XxNTj4FKpYPjI8eT6unMaMVpgGu0B6tBgHmN1YOFVYzk_CSiBFGMDsMxm6cd7Nh73RF2fEh71QiYcjMRxSxY1pRsTOjg3mq0kguMqJPSE-WheTNwqGluO21v-J-4F1MS3Lkb6XuP9g3Z3d/s2224/CHARLIE%20AND%20HITCHHIKER%20ON%20BEACH.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1173" data-original-width="2224" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqbdhgcJrZy0QLPMt53fiUNpk90lbnayFOhMMmHSSyYNoyG4XxNTj4FKpYPjI8eT6unMaMVpgGu0B6tBgHmN1YOFVYzk_CSiBFGMDsMxm6cd7Nh73RF2fEh71QiYcjMRxSxY1pRsTOjg3mq0kguMqJPSE-WheTNwqGluO21v-J-4F1MS3Lkb6XuP9g3Z3d/w400-h211/CHARLIE%20AND%20HITCHHIKER%20ON%20BEACH.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Charlie approaches the water’s edge as he suffers an auditory hallucination regarding his virility. An echoing female voice says, “I’m going to tell everyone I know that you can’t get it up.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Charlie leaps into the water and attacks the nude woman (who is now wearing underwear). As rousing action music plays on the soundtrack, Charlie holds the woman’s head underwater. </div><div><br /></div><div>Back at the police station, Susan answers questions from handsome Detective Larry Mead, who tells her he notified her dead roommate’s parents about the death, and adds, “They took it pretty tough.” (One might question if he means “rough,” as it might be interpreted that the parents were tough as they accepted the news.) The detectives send Susan with another policeman to look at mugshots. As Detective Mead watches her go, his partner quips, “What are you gonna do, adopt here?”</div><div><br /></div><div>Mead says leeringly (and inappropriately), “That’s, uh, not a bad idea.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Mead and his partner pay a visit to Susan’s boss, who says he can’t remember anything, but as soon as the detectives leave he calls a bald man named Stern and indicates mysteriously that Charlie could incriminate them. Also, they have a meeting tonight. When Stern hangs up the phone, another man enters Stern’s office and helpfully explains more of the backstory. “You don’t think Charlie would rat on his old Army buddies, now, do you?”</div><div><br /></div><div>Stern says sternly, “Well, we both know what Charlie’s capable of. He flipped out once before. We don’t know what he’s gonna do now.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“You think he’ll show for the meeting tonight?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“I don’t know,” Stern replies. “I really don’t know.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Then another man enters the office and reveals that the mysterious cabal is also responsible for the murder of Sykes shown in the film’s prologue. Stern tells both men, “I only hope Charlie can avoid the cops until we get to him.”</div><div><br /></div><div>One of his cronies says, “He’s been doing that since he got out of that hospital.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, Charlie continues on the lam, finding a barn to hide in and then immediately being noticed by another attractive young woman wearing skimpy clothes. He attacks her, and when she fights back he brutally plunges the business end of a pitchfork into her throat.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbQFmtA6UX2kpzyKV_q2SIhghgDxdgUam1uKJm9qc9YpD7fco-tX9c-eUOADbedFXqYU7ZLncfWI-y5lG_dRBTOYlEqNS_KSMqWBgagtbzupvwXwgRURXMmuHTeQ1-VQOVJysU5Iz5OdpQG1I7NwEPQXWjc65tOf3wi5JwWoqDtgC9fRZvsFcMA2wBJ3ZR/s2224/PITCHFORK.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1165" data-original-width="2224" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbQFmtA6UX2kpzyKV_q2SIhghgDxdgUam1uKJm9qc9YpD7fco-tX9c-eUOADbedFXqYU7ZLncfWI-y5lG_dRBTOYlEqNS_KSMqWBgagtbzupvwXwgRURXMmuHTeQ1-VQOVJysU5Iz5OdpQG1I7NwEPQXWjc65tOf3wi5JwWoqDtgC9fRZvsFcMA2wBJ3ZR/w400-h210/PITCHFORK.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>At the meeting of the cabal, held in what appears to be a subway tunnel adorned with an American flag, several middle-aged men express concern that Charlie was a mistake, and that perhaps hiring Stern was a mistake. Stern tells them, “I promise you we’ll get to Charlie before the police do.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Then they bring a young man into the room. Stern reads from a torn-out loose leaf sheet of paper: “Philip George Willingham, you have been charged here with the crime of rape and murder. These same charges were made against you in another court of law and dismissed. We are here as a court of appeals to meet our final and just judgment for the benefit of all society.”</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTg9Y0UoXrTITOCxqzQjPWZVrpk8RL_lf7H4ARbs0I-8DuzKHH26J9fn04Rj0L9cfT1fPVFU4rACa0DXCixHUvUz6AIc9ZUiwmV8emE4RZOoKr-T36IyMXasvV0Q2CYga4woiI1AkCmyRv94_L24x2O8bkaUUppnmASVPC1PsAUb1fw52_0WsIVDXrP8vW/s2224/STERN%20READING%20PAPER.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1247" data-original-width="2224" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTg9Y0UoXrTITOCxqzQjPWZVrpk8RL_lf7H4ARbs0I-8DuzKHH26J9fn04Rj0L9cfT1fPVFU4rACa0DXCixHUvUz6AIc9ZUiwmV8emE4RZOoKr-T36IyMXasvV0Q2CYga4woiI1AkCmyRv94_L24x2O8bkaUUppnmASVPC1PsAUb1fw52_0WsIVDXrP8vW/w400-h224/STERN%20READING%20PAPER.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The cabal members act as a jury. They also force him to plead guilty, as they forced him to write a confession. Of course, the sentence is death. Stern’s cohorts drag the young man away as he assures the cabal that there will be ample evidence his death was a suicide. </div><div><br /></div><div>Later, in an impressive and wordless scene, the cabal blows up the car of one of their own members who was critical of Stern.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS-7Dii9kGxYtE36PG_r4UmjTvMytXuZ-6T0bVPTTMGDZ_PIt26kHgEFY-wxnnLwP3nnCcVUVeV6Qswn8sk2k4Zh5keiHFzaZxQrteX5SObZ0M08Ui7OquF99aj-0SIj5_tDUCnf-sexBS7gSrBq8IDmoVOSxKOpj7jZ8amQQTSF70dC3Nb-zMXUwcLsWq/s2224/BURNING%20CAR.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1178" data-original-width="2224" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS-7Dii9kGxYtE36PG_r4UmjTvMytXuZ-6T0bVPTTMGDZ_PIt26kHgEFY-wxnnLwP3nnCcVUVeV6Qswn8sk2k4Zh5keiHFzaZxQrteX5SObZ0M08Ui7OquF99aj-0SIj5_tDUCnf-sexBS7gSrBq8IDmoVOSxKOpj7jZ8amQQTSF70dC3Nb-zMXUwcLsWq/w400-h211/BURNING%20CAR.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>After Detective Mead takes Susan out to coffee (strangely right after her roommate’s funeral, and right after she says she needs to go to work), the filmmakers follow Charlie to a cemetery. Here, he flashes back to Vietnam again, reliving an incident where he was directly ordered to kill a Vietnamese woman and child by tossing a grenade into their house. “You’re a good solider, Charlie,” his commanding officer says in voiceover.</div><div><br /></div><div>In one of the film’s most visually arresting shots, Charlie runs through the midwestern countryside, passing an abandoned shack and barbed wire that brings together his worlds of combat in Vietnam and running through Missouri.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi38fV_CXYXSsqpIijLdMsbgcjY9eMgA3c7-vvwszg-R_GazCv1sDko-HOPuipULO0EVkTECH-Zv8AsYBDIds5N14LmvXfoEHowtQPGVtjyHn39hS_uwYT3NLAoJDa9ASf3PWkiASIx_9J0hMysarcqnHhK6gPxgJlc8KMlvB75fIRmG_FAyjPPqw3OvMT7/s2224/BARBED%20WIRE.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1168" data-original-width="2224" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi38fV_CXYXSsqpIijLdMsbgcjY9eMgA3c7-vvwszg-R_GazCv1sDko-HOPuipULO0EVkTECH-Zv8AsYBDIds5N14LmvXfoEHowtQPGVtjyHn39hS_uwYT3NLAoJDa9ASf3PWkiASIx_9J0hMysarcqnHhK6gPxgJlc8KMlvB75fIRmG_FAyjPPqw3OvMT7/w400-h210/BARBED%20WIRE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>More disturbingly, Charlie flashes back to an encounter with a woman in Vietnam who might have been a prostitute. He strangles her when she questions his manhood.</div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, the detectives stumble upon the key to cracking the whole case. They find that Susan’s boss had a daughter who was murdered as a college student in Ohio; the apparent killer was released on a technicality, however, and then “hung himself.” Mead and his partner visit the coroner (who bizarrely is not eating a sandwich in the morgue) and, after introductions and some discussion, they realize that the recent rash of suicides might be due to foul play.</div><div><br /></div><div>It is time, of course, for another murder. Charlie finds a house where he hears a woman inside, so he breaks in and finds her in the bath (his penchant for finding attractive women in scanty clothing is truly remarkable). After eating some fruit in the kitchen, Charlie finds an industrial meat cleaver and approaches the bathroom. Unfortunately for him and fortunately for the nude woman, Charlie bumps into a milk can decoratively placed in the middle of the the upstairs hallway, but the woman pays no attention to the sound.</div><div><br /></div><div>Charlie is suddenly interrupted by the local grocery delivery hippie, so he hacks the man’s hand off, then advances on the woman — but she is armed with a rifle and shoots him in the stomach. This allows the filmmakers to stage a suspenseful sequence in which the woman steps over Charlie’s body, but he reaches for her, not quite dead. However, he falls dead seconds later.</div><div><br /></div><div>With its slasher dead, the film turns to the real villains, the cabal led by Stern. Stern, unaware Charlie is dead, tells an underling to kill Susan and frame Charlie. Another crony attacks Susan with a knife in her apartment, but fortunately Mead is nearby. After an extremely short foot chase, the crony is hit by a car and killed.</div><div><br /></div><div>After using the attempt on her life as an excuse to stay overnight, Mead allows Susan to go back to work, where by a great stroke of luck she overhears her boss on a pay phone in the lobby yelling at Stern. “The board didn’t give you the right to act as you please,” he says loudly in public, “especially when it comes to killing innocent people. I demand that you call a meeting now! I’m on my way, Stern!”</div><div><br /></div><div>Susan follows her boss (who walks oddly like a crab through the lobby) onto the street. She follows his car through the streets of St. Louis, giving us nice views of the Gateway Arch, until they reach a run-down warehouse near train tracks. Her boss enters the warehouse while Susan finds a pay phone and leaves a message with the police department telling Mead where she is. Then she sneaks into the warehouse to spy on the cabal. After using her lighter’s massive flame to illuminate a dark hallway, she is startled by one of Stern’s goons.</div><div><br /></div><div>When Mead and his partner receive Susan’s message via police radio, Mead’s partner quips, “Who the hell does she think she is? Angie Dickinson?” They place a red light on their car and speed off toward the warehouse.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the chaotic climactic sequence, Susan is brought to the cabal meeting, where her boss attempts to stand up for her, only to be shot in the stomach by Stern. Stern drags Susan into the main warehouse while his lackey carjacks a random citizen (apparently the cabal has no cars available for emergency escapes). There follows a short and somewhat confusing car chase that ends in the lackey being shot in the head with a shotgun, crashing the car into a brick wall, and another car explosion. (It is probably safe to assume the lackey is quite dead.)</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">After a shootout that would not be out of place on a TV show starring Angie Dickinson, Stern returns to the cabal’s meeting room and loads up on high-powered weaponry. Stern leaves, locking the door to the meeting room, while the cabal board members panic and I believe they mistakenly shoot a crate full of ammunition, causing them to blow up. In the end, Stern has a flashback to Vietnam, bringing his story in line with Charlie’s. Ironically, Stern mistakes a police helicopter for an Army helicopter arriving to rescue him. Several policemen, including Mead, shoot Stern, killing him. The film ends with a closeup of blood pooling on concrete. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><hr /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">The first thing that must be discussed about Delirium is the title. To what does "delirium" refer? Although the reference is somewhat ambiguous, there are only two possibilities. One is the PTSD-induced Vietnam flashbacks experienced by both Charlie and Stern as they see themselves in combat. The other is the relationship between Detective Mead and the much younger Susan, as Mead must be delirious to believe he is in a real relationship with the beautiful young woman. While this second explanation is the more probable one, looking at the film's iconic poster reveals a different, more oblique explanation. The poster shows Stern holding a gun but also somehow holding three meat cleavers in three additional hands, all of which threaten a woman who might or might not be Susan. I submit that the third possible meaning of "delirium" is the sense the viewer has when attempting to reconcile the horrific poster with the more straightforward murder/conspiracy/slasher plot of the film itself.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE-X6UVBFGx07MGNq8YMDFoRTrejWSnOKSdcIIDJsVCdIxprHM08QPv-SYR5mgLrWx9GhtBPv9qxmxpQy2WTBTgqCrBie_o0ga8gjdnsxdilPFMEPevlHkay6QYiS0lwdVMpeTBNVqEXqhSCWZn5Xn4BWXgSL9jVHohMuY0qczAP71Zp4NG-5kJnjl_eTx/s387/Delirium_1979_poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="387" data-original-width="256" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE-X6UVBFGx07MGNq8YMDFoRTrejWSnOKSdcIIDJsVCdIxprHM08QPv-SYR5mgLrWx9GhtBPv9qxmxpQy2WTBTgqCrBie_o0ga8gjdnsxdilPFMEPevlHkay6QYiS0lwdVMpeTBNVqEXqhSCWZn5Xn4BWXgSL9jVHohMuY0qczAP71Zp4NG-5kJnjl_eTx/w265-h400/Delirium_1979_poster.jpg" width="265" /></a></div><div><br /></div>As always, dear reader, the choice about the meaning of the film's title is up to you.<div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>Doctor Pseudonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07584099620426375486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-909065385728154804.post-80492941629388906342024-01-15T04:00:00.000-08:002024-01-15T04:00:00.134-08:00"Legends Are Full of Phantoms" - Island of the Living Dead (2007)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF8oZWedx5DX9iMmpVlMRG_-3Em1ji93lussbYXUxSNwDUrqG9AEgGWCjObjHkHXzhqaeoyy5QyaEqrpyS1wbTDOe5ZglwUhyY03g8tKGAm2YCQY57Xn7dGmkRRtLLkt83Y1DtEFcByHCaMNw_CT0l6hgHOmFxHCpM6TzakIJAtZZLXWEaE8S7N-GyEBf9/s1468/Island%20of%20the%20Living%20Dead%20Title.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="1468" height="174" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF8oZWedx5DX9iMmpVlMRG_-3Em1ji93lussbYXUxSNwDUrqG9AEgGWCjObjHkHXzhqaeoyy5QyaEqrpyS1wbTDOe5ZglwUhyY03g8tKGAm2YCQY57Xn7dGmkRRtLLkt83Y1DtEFcByHCaMNw_CT0l6hgHOmFxHCpM6TzakIJAtZZLXWEaE8S7N-GyEBf9/w640-h174/Island%20of%20the%20Living%20Dead%20Title.png" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;">Before his death in 2007, director Bruno Mattei released two final zombie films: Island of the Living Dead (2007) and Zombies: The Beginning (also 2007). Island of the Dead, despite its crisp digital provenance, is an ambitious and creative grand tour through zombie mythology that highlights themes of colonialism and religious persecution while paying homage to the zombie films of the past.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Of course, some critics in your universe don't appreciate Mr. Mattei's magnum opus. For example, reviewer Uriah43 <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw5616596/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "this was a typically bad low-budget film by Bruno Mattei which suffered from a bad script, bad character development and bad acting." Reviewer Platypuschow <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw3766332/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "If I were to make a zombie movie the blue print I'd make is taking everything they've done here then do the literal opposite." </div><div style="text-align: left;">And reviewer Michael_Elliott <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2216593/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "On a technical level pretty much everything here is bad."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Please continue reading for a fuller appreciation of Bruno Mattei's Island of the Living Dead...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div><span><a name='more'></a></span>The film begins as a company of Spanish conquistadores and priests oversee a ceremony in which island natives place sheet-covered corpses around a bonfire. One growling corpse sits up, whereupon it is shot in the head by a Spaniard. This happens repeatedly as the locale seems to have a problem with corpses returning to life. In fact, a cart dumps dozens of corpses, all in nice white sheets, in front of a church, after which shirtless young men carry the corpses into the chapel while a Spaniard yells bilingually, “Let’s go! Hurry up! Andale!”</div><div><br /></div><div>In a startling image, a young dead girl emitting a series of squeaky grunts rises as the Spaniards cower in fear.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXyHOqaJNE-vgfjWSMncHRQNuGXo1nU3UlrKOlAHmxe3XhAQW5DUCJtz6NitzN5ZaPHYltcsZGEBjxKfbRF_aRyfYygWw7JBM8hLIb1xDaahPY6241D_U48NbY6eDYROGmCQQEhrMLnUhCDkXnYlVdChY7BD7-VMY5ffuFxxvTbjqPXpkTenvk2_Pzz1Sw/s2224/GIRL%20RISING.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1237" data-original-width="2224" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXyHOqaJNE-vgfjWSMncHRQNuGXo1nU3UlrKOlAHmxe3XhAQW5DUCJtz6NitzN5ZaPHYltcsZGEBjxKfbRF_aRyfYygWw7JBM8hLIb1xDaahPY6241D_U48NbY6eDYROGmCQQEhrMLnUhCDkXnYlVdChY7BD7-VMY5ffuFxxvTbjqPXpkTenvk2_Pzz1Sw/w400-h223/GIRL%20RISING.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>After several minutes, a soldier shoots the girl in the head, but it appears too late for the Spaniards as the zombies overrun the church. The armed men run, led by an aristocrat who bears a strong resemblance to Mr. Richard Kind, but they too are attacked and eaten by the symbols of their colonial ambitions.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqgIVPmGODVLmXYt_C_GyC4KsccNOZpelMn2sSmZgStdv8l_mcjbodriO4JxKLPM9PCSgOKZb7BIq1me-bJCFjvffIejlV7Kje6-qX_3SoW8teNLq4jUohF3i8hLlk2kcZoKCAYegSyXh04zEWKWjcHHTVNOcIXfP1P3k0K4-NHKjN5x2ebYfSWugv1CqB/s2224/RICHARD%20KIND%20EATEN.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1248" data-original-width="2224" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqgIVPmGODVLmXYt_C_GyC4KsccNOZpelMn2sSmZgStdv8l_mcjbodriO4JxKLPM9PCSgOKZb7BIq1me-bJCFjvffIejlV7Kje6-qX_3SoW8teNLq4jUohF3i8hLlk2kcZoKCAYegSyXh04zEWKWjcHHTVNOcIXfP1P3k0K4-NHKjN5x2ebYfSWugv1CqB/w400-h225/RICHARD%20KIND%20EATEN.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The filmmakers cut to the present day as a pair of scuba divers loads an old treasure chest onto a ship. However, in a twist both comedic and tragic, the bottom of the chest breaks open before the chest reaches the ship, and a chest load of gold coins falls into the sea.</div><div><br /></div><div>Of course, the crew of the ship simply gives up, preferring to sit in the galley drinking beer instead of returning to the water to collect the coins. </div><div><br /></div><div>The crew’s bad luck continues the same night as they find themselves running aground on an island in the middle of a fog bank. In the morning, they determine their position, but consulting a chart, their captain (named Kirk) finds there are no known islands in the area. They decide to explore the island, and of course to forego contacting the Coast Guard. </div><div><br /></div><div>All but one of the crew members take a Zodiac to shore, armed with a shotgun. Two men reconnoiter quickly. “There’s nothing in that direction, just a bunch of jagged bushes,” says one man.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Not a goddamn living soul,” says his companion.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Well,” says Captain Kirk, “what else do you expect from an island that in the middle of the night just pops up?”</div><div><br /></div><div>They split into two groups. One group searching for drinking water stumbles upon a graveyard. Here, they literally replay the cemetery scene from Night of the Living Dead (1968) (perhaps the most famous scene in modern horror) as Mark taunts Sharon with “The dead! They will get you, Sharon!”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Stop it,” Sharon replies. “Stop being such an idiot.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Mark continues: “Careful, they will get you. Look! There’s one coming now!” A dead man walks toward them, but their friend Tao defends them by kicking the zombie and using what appears to be kung fu. (I believe this is also how Johnny and Barbara dispatched the first ghoul in Romero’s film, though I don’t remember all the details.)</div><div><br /></div><div>At the same time, the other group finds an abandoned structure and begins exploring. Unbeknownst to the group, a zombie stands nearby watching. Then, in a surprising move in a film of this sort, the zombie turns directly to the camera and growls — at us, the audience watching the film! (This, in addition to the Night of the Living Dead reference, is an early example of the film's ambitiousness as a work of metafiction.)</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3wdQOiPPruifLPgTa5ZX_ANgA4h7BjwoznU-FHgNdQbc4EoYMw0lWnVyfkqdC5kCISveUXBNYRefgWz64bjtUuDwTKKnu4RNk5XySuBLJT2TTjFGi9wf-ki_7SYzyoPg3A1zeLqatLHDHl0Y-fihDOkSK4EMteDbzsiHGjG-9bK08c9HBtBwFCaULoFOd/s2224/ZOMBIE%20WATCHING%201.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1233" data-original-width="2224" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3wdQOiPPruifLPgTa5ZX_ANgA4h7BjwoznU-FHgNdQbc4EoYMw0lWnVyfkqdC5kCISveUXBNYRefgWz64bjtUuDwTKKnu4RNk5XySuBLJT2TTjFGi9wf-ki_7SYzyoPg3A1zeLqatLHDHl0Y-fihDOkSK4EMteDbzsiHGjG-9bK08c9HBtBwFCaULoFOd/w400-h221/ZOMBIE%20WATCHING%201.png" width="400" /></a></div><br /><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0CrOo5zCDqMR24DSEqMP5uXCYk-CIyxXWVv6bQE_TysWv684Jtn3eEK1gCYukV-MGfzjndRFq7H_gQKFf7Bf-XwD2p3KsP1EPgL4Y_sv1Ig99ZZT5B85gTQ2iK7AX_ygJDkXXrDUZ3WxWIHn2bNjTBe0l7qvK20BmbcoRaBlLQnc83hg2i6pAaXM-jRbQ/s2224/ZOMBIE%20TURNING%20TO%20CAMERA.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1224" data-original-width="2224" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0CrOo5zCDqMR24DSEqMP5uXCYk-CIyxXWVv6bQE_TysWv684Jtn3eEK1gCYukV-MGfzjndRFq7H_gQKFf7Bf-XwD2p3KsP1EPgL4Y_sv1Ig99ZZT5B85gTQ2iK7AX_ygJDkXXrDUZ3WxWIHn2bNjTBe0l7qvK20BmbcoRaBlLQnc83hg2i6pAaXM-jRbQ/w400-h220/ZOMBIE%20TURNING%20TO%20CAMERA.png" width="400" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div>The group investigates a building where, in the basement, they discover torture devices, skeletons, and a cache of dusty old books including De Necronomicon, De Vermis Mysteriis, and other cursed volumes. Captain Kirk reads what he calls a prophecy: “Every cadaver that is not destroyed immediately becomes one of them. He revives and begins to kill. People that have been killed rise anew, and then altogether they kill more.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, the sole engineer on board, Max, is attacked by zombies, including the Spaniards, and killed in the engine room. For some unknown reason, however, Max reaches out to push the single red button in the engine room, which of course blows up the entire ship.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKC2uD4JlDuezNV9SXArr8vnICtBBQcecuMv7MGIpLnwVxdiT2pNSFEToBcRxVuxormKwQEqEkRPasiNt5cUSjMyGWwsKWdDRseFszBhkau592btTkmm0heRiv70OIBej3V2AGjk9QgjGrvAr8nap_6v-vky9iIc5RIK-CtaPe79PuVBciHnbopYQNwLAZ/s2224/SHIP%20EXPLODING.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1226" data-original-width="2224" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKC2uD4JlDuezNV9SXArr8vnICtBBQcecuMv7MGIpLnwVxdiT2pNSFEToBcRxVuxormKwQEqEkRPasiNt5cUSjMyGWwsKWdDRseFszBhkau592btTkmm0heRiv70OIBej3V2AGjk9QgjGrvAr8nap_6v-vky9iIc5RIK-CtaPe79PuVBciHnbopYQNwLAZ/w400-h220/SHIP%20EXPLODING.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Everyone ashore (except for Tao, who has died offscreen) runs back to the beach, where they see the ship has been destroyed. Captain Kirk asks Sharon and Mark what happened. Sharon replies, “Some horrible monster, not human of any kind, has killed Tao.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Mark steps toward the camera, then says, “It’s true. That thing had supernatural strength and Tao sacrificed himself to save us.” Then Mark takes a step back, his line of dialogue finished.</div><div><br /></div><div>Also, the Zodiac has been stolen.</div><div><br /></div><div>“We must find refuge,” says Captain Kirk dramatically, “before night falls.”</div><div><br /></div><div>All six survivors return to the ruined structure, where they are set upon by zombies, including one whose bulbous toes are prominently featured by the cinematographer. The survivors shoot at the zombies but many of them climb to their feet and continue to advance. (One zombie even falls suddenly for no reason.) Fred unloads several shotgun shells, yelling “Aah!” every time he pulls the trigger. In one creative sequence, Fred pushes a zombie away but its severed hand remains in his grip. Fred is transfixed by the hand, almost as catatonic as Barbara in Night of the Living Dead (1968).</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghXGBD8a9IAYVAVOHr-jQCOtrkKbZxwHuuXqIL4EVaqMby5wlW-HmVP1td4T3KPUEQvFeXIdG1F1z4OWyyYgiMdTO8-gA53IdFisXkD9SKZL-6URrsKJtPVv2PaBVbdFEQDT2QKmElPQU_XjFvBE8Y6gKPdzpdVUOg8Ie9nCjoGkuFdeOU-cCWj3TOiPF2/s2224/FRED%20AND%20HAND.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1203" data-original-width="2224" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghXGBD8a9IAYVAVOHr-jQCOtrkKbZxwHuuXqIL4EVaqMby5wlW-HmVP1td4T3KPUEQvFeXIdG1F1z4OWyyYgiMdTO8-gA53IdFisXkD9SKZL-6URrsKJtPVv2PaBVbdFEQDT2QKmElPQU_XjFvBE8Y6gKPdzpdVUOg8Ie9nCjoGkuFdeOU-cCWj3TOiPF2/w400-h216/FRED%20AND%20HAND.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Oddly, another zombie has its arm shot off, but a replacement hand begins growing out of its shoulder.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT34_IIy23uWUhuEZhU8qGoJikdlzYZ48Ac726h89pPo0wQQarogg13aWATLi0GN_CQPgG3dmkqIKDDP1-SyMnsj59AWSXM6vUBglX1qrGcovGh1ohEAvKTCZwSLI3abVTynTelDoG-S4AMyA9u1t8G5rNput2KyOWXugzZaYSvJuOdDAV2jiLQPUceOBp/s2224/SHOULDER.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1228" data-original-width="2224" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT34_IIy23uWUhuEZhU8qGoJikdlzYZ48Ac726h89pPo0wQQarogg13aWATLi0GN_CQPgG3dmkqIKDDP1-SyMnsj59AWSXM6vUBglX1qrGcovGh1ohEAvKTCZwSLI3abVTynTelDoG-S4AMyA9u1t8G5rNput2KyOWXugzZaYSvJuOdDAV2jiLQPUceOBp/w400-h221/SHOULDER.png" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div><div>The survivors cry out the immortal line, “Let’s get out of here!” They retreat to another structure, where they separate for no apparent reason, but then they get back together seconds later. Captain Kirk tells a soldier named Snoopy (because he is wearing a Peanuts t-shirt), “Shoot at anything that moves.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Snoopy replies humorously, “Oh, I’ll shoot the night owl. I’ll shoot at the bugs. Or maybe perhaps the odd sewer rat.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Then they separate again.</div><div><br /></div><div>A group made up of Captain Kirk, Fred, and Victoria enters a Spanish fort, eventually finding the chapel, where a robed, skeletal figure of the Angel of Death stands against a wall. (The figure moves, as if it is only a person wearing a costume, but none of the survivors take note of the movement.) Seconds later, all six survivors are reunited in the chapel. Captain Kirk explains that there is a legend of a missing Spanish galleon called the Natividad; another ship witnessed it sailing near the Bermuda Triangle. “It was sailing about 10 knots in the middle of the fog,” Captain Kirk relates, being questionably specific. He tells the others that the Natividad was a ghost ship. “It’s not a fairy tale. I’ve seen things you could never imagine.” He adds, “Legends are full of phantoms, of beasts from another world that kill, and the dead that rise again.”</div><div><br /></div><div>In the morning, the crew separates yet again to explore different parts of the island. This time, they separate into three groups of two. Captain Kirk and Snoopy explore a tunnel where they find on the wall a coat of arms with the motto “Blood and death” — an unappealing prospect. Perhaps unwisely, they open a door near the coat of arms. As it creaks open, Captain Kirk says, “I don’t like this.” Nonetheless, he enters the room.</div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, Sharon and Fred further explore the chapel. Sharon sees someone wearing a black robe and thinks it is a priest. Perhaps unwisely, she puts a hand on its shoulder. When it turns, she sees it is some kind of zombie monster that resembles Dr. Phibes in a vague, non-actionable way.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWpUiNo4Znd8krUK4fiHzlqOYI9Nmk9XCPlHMHjFa9tEQpraDH4fc2mTCMwjvOMvwkP607hvoEGqp6shniqMxtLJYAcrXLqBF5iCuitFbtNWxtYmOJnJQPRQzYRLNEk1kPvVmETn6ggDURF1-jdFWoyueNgKxZ9i_75gMjTg-vvVXfhntZvn5JTKqEm4uA/s2224/PHIBES.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1237" data-original-width="2224" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWpUiNo4Znd8krUK4fiHzlqOYI9Nmk9XCPlHMHjFa9tEQpraDH4fc2mTCMwjvOMvwkP607hvoEGqp6shniqMxtLJYAcrXLqBF5iCuitFbtNWxtYmOJnJQPRQzYRLNEk1kPvVmETn6ggDURF1-jdFWoyueNgKxZ9i_75gMjTg-vvVXfhntZvn5JTKqEm4uA/w400-h223/PHIBES.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Fred shoots the creature but it gets up again, until he shoots it again in the head.</div><div><br /></div><div>In an amusing sequence, Mark and Victoria find a vault filled with wine barrels. Mark finds a cobweb-crusted cup and blows off the cobwebs, then fills the cup from a barrel with what appears to be blood. He takes a sip. Seconds later, he tells Victoria he has found amontillado. “Amontillado?” Victoria says. “A cask of amontillado? Wasn’t that a story by…Edgar Allan Poe?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Well, hey,” says Mark, “let’s see if Sir Edgar was a connoisseur.” Trying the wine (again), he finds it to be “really great.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Elsewhere, however, in another room, Captain Kirk sniffs the dregs of a cup and sees a vision of an old dead man in a mirror. He concludes something must be wrong with the wine.</div><div><br /></div><div>The filmmakers intercut three suspenseful scenes as Sharon and Fred struggle against a roomful of dead islanders, most of them chained to the walls, while Mark and Victoria drink wine that gives them horrific visions of worms and blood. Also, a woman disappears from a painting and begins to stalk Snoopy.</div><div><br /></div><div>At the end of the sequence, Sharon and Fred find the Spanish treasure in the middle of the fortress. (Amusingly, they open one treasure chest to find a zombie head that turns toward them.)</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghpW7Qq1ymepJbDeO9OvnZARba61wTIlWpWrwTb7bKIEl27FywI9sx4-RXz899z3Wxdy_PPWDt_dicfTPsv5f3jvCZkKHHLpp8CpRdI6rSixWuVT2Hsy_oVeDX51FBY1u7DOh5ZOesN0RXdqM5UFDqCLwVNXPaepVydWIwOLfibs2WgFOQg4vYjgrY6hnd/s2224/ZOMBIE%20HEAD%20IN%20CHEST.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1229" data-original-width="2224" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghpW7Qq1ymepJbDeO9OvnZARba61wTIlWpWrwTb7bKIEl27FywI9sx4-RXz899z3Wxdy_PPWDt_dicfTPsv5f3jvCZkKHHLpp8CpRdI6rSixWuVT2Hsy_oVeDX51FBY1u7DOh5ZOesN0RXdqM5UFDqCLwVNXPaepVydWIwOLfibs2WgFOQg4vYjgrY6hnd/w400-h221/ZOMBIE%20HEAD%20IN%20CHEST.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Everyone reconvenes in the treasure room. They are thrilled to have found hundreds of millions of dollars worth of treasure, but Snoopy is wary. “This island is cursed,” he explains. “While I was walking around, I heard music playing, and I saw a guitar playing by itself.” (It must be noted the audience saw none of these things, and also that everyone has been dealing with zombies and horrific visions for the last few hours, which also might be offered as proof the island is cursed.)</div><div><br /></div><div>Unfortunately, Sharon is quickly attacked by a zombie bursting through a door, leading to a recreation of the eyeball scene from Fulci’s Zombi 2 (1979), minus the actual eyeball penetration, as she is rescued at the last second.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI-pSLV052iELmaAeZeE5suxs7afOwF510761yc-241Xyzif0NTAhfMXtADAEKbAlwd7lyihwZ_L9ZZ_YWC7-0NQHBX8dP9LHk-tdfwlnPfcbDwEaJZQ0qBVaXqEhLvG07lOw0v-WrBtUK2qucnLSWWCyWTatgA9TrlX_FtfWDh_JBeNiWANgQFmN3xg_Y/s2224/SHARON%E2%80%99S%20EYEBALL.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1216" data-original-width="2224" height="219" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI-pSLV052iELmaAeZeE5suxs7afOwF510761yc-241Xyzif0NTAhfMXtADAEKbAlwd7lyihwZ_L9ZZ_YWC7-0NQHBX8dP9LHk-tdfwlnPfcbDwEaJZQ0qBVaXqEhLvG07lOw0v-WrBtUK2qucnLSWWCyWTatgA9TrlX_FtfWDh_JBeNiWANgQFmN3xg_Y/w400-h219/SHARON%E2%80%99S%20EYEBALL.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>When a horde of zombies breaks into the treasure room, Fred fights them but, perhaps unwisely, he offers his bare arm to one of the zombies, who bites him a la Dawn of the Dead (1978). Fred cries out, “I’m gonna see you all again…in Hellllllll!” He is then grotesquely eaten, in a scene that suggests but does not show the fate of Rhodes in Day of the Dead (1985).</div><div><br /></div><div>After Captain Kirk wanders off and encounters a ghost who tells him, “Welcome to the island of the dead,” the other survivors read from a book that further explains the film’s backstory. In 1688, the galleon crashed on the island. “When hellish fog will fall again on this island,” Sharon reads, “the men from the bottom of the ocean will rise up and kill whoever had caused their death. May God have mercy on us.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, Snoopy performs a flamenco dance with a zombie dancer appearing out of a painting, accompanied by a guitar played by disembodied hands; eventually, the zombie bites Snoopy’s neck.</div><div><br /></div><div>Then the filmmakers decide to give still more backstory as a zombie noblewoman explains further to Victoria that not only was everyone cursed to living death when the ship arrived at the island, but also there is an evil presence that doesn’t want living humans to escape. (It is unclear why some zombies want to help the humans, while others simply want to eat them.) Then the noblewoman bursts into flames.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYneKAlRPnFfnu8WYtKWRfpOYNHLmO35BK3ih0NRhgimDkjWFpYlhgII7JfjBb5gqIAt3cGFl5PIaGsUTzDj7kkmQtuxyD4CCamXqjsnqCubhOunz0y5KvEnx0sLzr3qlXrTuaiAjKcJeonBNq3QDIxqj5Aoe5XiuwJIx0E9CkNl9DUxUMH_gL72j_g_wY/s2224/NOBLEWOMAN%20IN%20FLAMES.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1248" data-original-width="2224" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYneKAlRPnFfnu8WYtKWRfpOYNHLmO35BK3ih0NRhgimDkjWFpYlhgII7JfjBb5gqIAt3cGFl5PIaGsUTzDj7kkmQtuxyD4CCamXqjsnqCubhOunz0y5KvEnx0sLzr3qlXrTuaiAjKcJeonBNq3QDIxqj5Aoe5XiuwJIx0E9CkNl9DUxUMH_gL72j_g_wY/w400-h225/NOBLEWOMAN%20IN%20FLAMES.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>In the final act, the film reveals its secrets. The evil presence is a skeletal, black-robed priest who leads a group of other skeletal, black-robed priests. He kills Victoria, allowing his acolytes to devour her. Sharon, after being attacked by Captain Kirk who sees visions that he is responsible for the ship in the first place, leads the others in building a small raft on the beach. Then she returns to the fortress and douses various floors with both wine and gunpowder.</div><div><br /></div><div>Finally, Captain Kirk reveals himself to be a zombie, or perhaps a ghost, after Mark shoots him. He confronts Sharon, telling her, “I am a collector of lives. I can give you another life. A life you cannot imagine. It will last for centuries and centuries.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Sharon is defiant. “I’ve made my choice!” She thrusts a torch at Captain Kirk, burning him as other zombies break out of their tombs for a thrilling, fiery climax.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0EFZAyNLlVNDmjbMgxHfo6jiYLnViz7TjTIDqM-U592HSu964iCAAv0-VdDoNYFqn6G8bD9b_kLdOkyycDEHbQJMkCz8O6YVOfJGKMNc1HG6F4loOvuGMRg9fhoJwI67YifLrnfdbbvnA51mQuKVVt-rimK_2crEiIweVFc1MpUZDjUeC7yAi6FCqOvQ3/s2224/FIERY%20CLIMAX.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1233" data-original-width="2224" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0EFZAyNLlVNDmjbMgxHfo6jiYLnViz7TjTIDqM-U592HSu964iCAAv0-VdDoNYFqn6G8bD9b_kLdOkyycDEHbQJMkCz8O6YVOfJGKMNc1HG6F4loOvuGMRg9fhoJwI67YifLrnfdbbvnA51mQuKVVt-rimK_2crEiIweVFc1MpUZDjUeC7yAi6FCqOvQ3/w400-h221/FIERY%20CLIMAX.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Finally, Sharon cuts the evil skeleton priest in half, ironically with a large scythe, and runs to the raft, though she is scratched by her comrades, who are all now zombies. Fortunately for Sharon, the zombies avoid water, so she is able to shoot many of them from the floating raft. However, in the film’s stinger, when Sharon is rescued by what appears to be a very expensive Philippines Coast Guard helicopter, she passes away in a hospital bed. The final shot of the film is Sharon rising from under the sheet, and surprisingly baring vampire-like fangs.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><hr /><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">The brilliant conceit behind Island of the Living Dead is to use the structure of <a href="https://www.senselesscinema.com/2017/07/rats-night-of-terror.html" target="_blank">Rats: Night of Terror</a> (1984), with a group of people wandering through a deserted building, to present a history of the zombie film. Through recreations of scenes from Night of the Living Dead (1968), Dawn of the Dead (1978), Zombi 2 (1979), and even Mattei's own Hell of the Living Dead (1980), Mr. Mattei presents the culmination of his own work as a filmmaker (not including, in this case, his erotic works). Questions about the nature of the zombies on the island (Are they zombies or ghosts? Why does Captain Kirk assume they come out only at night? Is Captain Kirk a ghost himself or simply possessed by the "collector"? What was wrong with the wine, anyway? Why does the ship have a self-destruct button?) are irrelevant because the nature of the threat facing the survivors is all-encompassing. The monsters are zombies. The monsters are ghosts. The monsters are vampires. Perhaps Mr. Mattei is saying, in his final word on cinema, that we are all monsters in the end. Why fight the monsters and the dying of the light when we will all become monsters in the dark, in the end. Perhaps this is what he is saying, and perhaps not. In any case, one cannot disagree that it is food for thought, which is of course why we watch zombie movies in the first place. And maybe that is all that is important.</div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div>Doctor Pseudonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07584099620426375486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-909065385728154804.post-27022696509472621382024-01-01T04:00:00.000-08:002024-01-01T04:00:00.237-08:00"Don’t Mess Up My Slam-Dunk Murder with Psychology" - Dead Above Ground (2002)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0s0hUzWtpu9h1gjnszhhN9m7WUFtuZJ6xoaGIQKKCo3PPykGZAogAxULwwHRcoE8S1fr6pwKdKV9cN89ON5CCS8BRdfF1YwEOPt0Ry9ynHb-sPWuP3i1knNDaQ2XBRLvjqWv8jGsePI1A0HhwsUQFCROT_CXPQtGtMDEz1ITaObuKfJIxpzMS53eGMx3z/s1384/Dead%20Above%20Ground%20Title.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="1384" height="184" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0s0hUzWtpu9h1gjnszhhN9m7WUFtuZJ6xoaGIQKKCo3PPykGZAogAxULwwHRcoE8S1fr6pwKdKV9cN89ON5CCS8BRdfF1YwEOPt0Ry9ynHb-sPWuP3i1knNDaQ2XBRLvjqWv8jGsePI1A0HhwsUQFCROT_CXPQtGtMDEz1ITaObuKfJIxpzMS53eGMx3z/w640-h184/Dead%20Above%20Ground%20Title.png" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;">Our movie today is Dead Above Ground (2002), one of two slasher films written and produced by prolific television writer, and Jim Rockford creator, Stephen J. Cannell. Presumably impressed by the resurgence of the slasher film in the late 1990s, Mr. Cannell put together a modestly budgeted film depicting teen camaraderie, occult rituals, axe murders, and the bohemian Hollywood lifestyle that emerges as an entertaining classic.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Some of your universe's critics, however, are unkind to Dead Above Ground. For example, reviewer bombsaway814 <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1110757/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, with questionable capitalization, "actually the movie is quite painful to watch at first. i finished it floored and amazed at the stupidity of it all." Reviewer dereth <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw0808673/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "Positively one of the worst horror movies ever. Bad script, acting, music... you name it, they've got it." And reviewer Horrorible_Horror_Films <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1738723/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "Its really really stupid. Embarrassingly stupid movie."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Read on for the truth about Dead Above Ground...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div><span><a name='more'></a></span>The film begins in a glamorous fashion as limousines pull up to an auditorium as an announcer announces that we are watching the thirty-fifth annual All-American Motion Picture Awards ceremony. The announcer also says these awards are prestigious, though they specifically are not the Academy Awards or the Golden Globe Awards. Finally, the announcer announces that the best director award will soon be given out for an American motion picture (given the name of the awards show, clearly foreign films are not recognized). The filmmakers cut from the glamorous exterior of the awards ceremony to later in the evening, when director Mark Mallory, the winner of the director award, climbs out of a fancy convertible with his actress girlfriend Carrie to return to his mansion. Mark (played by special guest star Corbin Bernstein) tastefully suggests using the statuette for erotic purposes; speaking to the award, he says, “You are gonna take a flying carpet ride with Carrie.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“You think I’m gonna let you use that as a dildo, buddy?”</div><div><br /></div><div>When they reach the door of the mansion, they see that the door has been marked with a bloody circular symbol. (Also, the words DEAD ABOVE GROUND scrawled in blood flash on the screen, though it’s unclear whether these words are painted on the mansion or if this is simply a second presentation of the film’s title.)</div><div><br /></div><div>Mark sends Carrie out to the car to call the police on the car phone, then investigates his mansion, picking up a sword to defend himself. After a great deal of time passes, and a bird supplies a jump scare traditionally performed by a car, Mark finds someone rocking in a creaking rocking chair. Mark slices the person’s head off, but it turns out to be just a mannequin (which Mark identifies as a stunt dummy). Then he is chased by a hooded figure with an axe.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX3_BWl1nuJDcFs-KcF04LIL3_q27y0m_EZp8n6eMYppgB1DzTtXERqGnO5pYuuXebHwujbCfTtTxPdywbbIRXUfioBV7w7gHzIieNRmCOP5_Vi43JKDk-zdCHeL8RSyiyd1X0QrenVxvQO68TWrA339dcDKA1QugHpVLjAGd2NnZbgSD5gMbrIuLqqMRT/s2140/KILLER%20WITH%20AXE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1215" data-original-width="2140" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX3_BWl1nuJDcFs-KcF04LIL3_q27y0m_EZp8n6eMYppgB1DzTtXERqGnO5pYuuXebHwujbCfTtTxPdywbbIRXUfioBV7w7gHzIieNRmCOP5_Vi43JKDk-zdCHeL8RSyiyd1X0QrenVxvQO68TWrA339dcDKA1QugHpVLjAGd2NnZbgSD5gMbrIuLqqMRT/w400-h228/KILLER%20WITH%20AXE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Hiding in a room, Mark offers the assailant a part in a movie, but the would-be killer ignores the offer. Mark slams his sword through the door and draws the bloody blade back into the room, assuming he struck the killer, but it sadly turns out to be a gagged Carrie.</div><div><br /></div><div>Running, Mark steps in a bear trap, drops his award, and is hacked by the axe.</div><div><br /></div><div>The film cuts to months later, where a group of Bay City High School jocks and cheerleaders discusses an upcoming party at Monster’s house. Nearby, a goth young man named Jeffrey Lucas, who is also a filmmaker as well as the purported nephew of George Lucas, talks about his lifestyle with his girlfriend Zara. In some very realistic teenager dialogue, he expounds, “Two more years in this sinkhole? God. Sometimes all I want is to escape into the Celt world. Be with the dark gods. Malevolent entities never ask for photo ID.” He adds, indicating the jocks, “My movies are wasted on people like them. They will never get it, Zara. They don’t see the beauty in the ancient grimmeries.”</div><div><br /></div><div>In a communications class, principal and teacher Carl Hatton (played by writer/producer Stephen J. Cannell) introduces himself and his syllabus for the summer class. Although this appears to be the first class session, Mr. Hatton starts by projecting the students’ summer video projects, which the students have already completed. He randomly chooses Jeffrey Lucas’s VHS tape, which Jeffrey indicates is not a documentary, per the assignment, but a path to higher learning. Scored with guitar-heavy rock music, Jeffrey’s film is a quick-cut scene of a satanic ritual which includes Jeffrey himself as the satanic priest transformed through editing into a bizarre clown. (This is the only clown imagery in Dead Above Ground.)</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghyuEWANK0yFqhNfCMrN1IQdJZpviMcov1ijz4xWw_kSRE2s05EAHOArylBkqXNIROxxkcfYnUKKE0fHVARmAznZ2N1cl6Ir9FPo5nYbprXMDKxcaYi95FZwDEn8QUzg_kZOvcTAU8DhrmarHVFNYp5-vpfQw8lYIw5eveNoPXbcEMM1zvMILj3CcUOjnd/s2224/CLOWN.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1408" data-original-width="2224" height="254" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghyuEWANK0yFqhNfCMrN1IQdJZpviMcov1ijz4xWw_kSRE2s05EAHOArylBkqXNIROxxkcfYnUKKE0fHVARmAznZ2N1cl6Ir9FPo5nYbprXMDKxcaYi95FZwDEn8QUzg_kZOvcTAU8DhrmarHVFNYp5-vpfQw8lYIw5eveNoPXbcEMM1zvMILj3CcUOjnd/w400-h254/CLOWN.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>At the end of the short, a mannequin is beheaded, leading to a great deal of laughter among the students. Jeffrey, enraged, yells at his classmates: “Can’t you see the evil that’s in me?”</div><div><br /></div><div>Two of the jocks grab Jeffrey and push him out of the auditorium while Jeffrey curses all of them to death. Watching him leave, Jeffrey’s girlfriend Zara says quietly, “You don’t see what he sees.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Jeffrey’s punishment is to meet with the school’s new guidance counselor, the attractive Dr. Brenda Boone. </div><div><br /></div><div>The film cuts to Stephen J. Cannell’s pool party, which is for his summer students, though Brenda and football coach Tom are also in attendance. Oddly, Dr. Boone wears a revealing bikini to the pool party.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgff1Ug2sXKjAuSQ495Dw0Ppe5062KHXF3qWffoe0hy-HDU_-qUWvJuFl_K4riyp1yBMsruNgYV1oOM0wKWlHJCd9XBfcv9WFlwB19UHM_VB65pJc3RAWiHpdthOxH8oOcBKAEc8SteGk3DzXBAWMfr1zFB2oG5RWTX3PtC_GghDIfe0DxI9_VBVN82E7kv/s2224/BRENDA%20IN%20BIKINI.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1235" data-original-width="2224" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgff1Ug2sXKjAuSQ495Dw0Ppe5062KHXF3qWffoe0hy-HDU_-qUWvJuFl_K4riyp1yBMsruNgYV1oOM0wKWlHJCd9XBfcv9WFlwB19UHM_VB65pJc3RAWiHpdthOxH8oOcBKAEc8SteGk3DzXBAWMfr1zFB2oG5RWTX3PtC_GghDIfe0DxI9_VBVN82E7kv/w400-h223/BRENDA%20IN%20BIKINI.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>At the party, Jeffrey, who wears a black robe despite the other students’ beachwear, pushes a girl into the pool, causing her boyfriend, football player Dylan, to attack Jeffrey. The fight is broken up by Coach Tom and Jeffrey stomps away from the pool. This leads to a staple of Stephen J. Cannell’s work (and, I assume, of early-2000s slasher films) — an extended car chase.</div><div><br /></div><div>Tragically, though perhaps not unexpectedly, the chase ends in Jeffrey’s car flying off a cliff and bursting into flame.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihMmx7hedgTyPGGUFf0MQUx_ViINmy9x5cTfRV-BTEV_I8f9MEf7fY0_iQ-IbpiXfvM8rezsr7hJeM87DwIxLYOQ3dQ85OpJ0DSYRifG5cWTKgYrsPO-I1OzXSI8CtvnCgxnUvZCqLMwWpHz8mNj5wQHMBHag5ODrO2HMZ1bGmXYcB3Uqy-3WPQCH0oCa4/s2224/FLAMING%20CAR.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1230" data-original-width="2224" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihMmx7hedgTyPGGUFf0MQUx_ViINmy9x5cTfRV-BTEV_I8f9MEf7fY0_iQ-IbpiXfvM8rezsr7hJeM87DwIxLYOQ3dQ85OpJ0DSYRifG5cWTKgYrsPO-I1OzXSI8CtvnCgxnUvZCqLMwWpHz8mNj5wQHMBHag5ODrO2HMZ1bGmXYcB3Uqy-3WPQCH0oCa4/w400-h221/FLAMING%20CAR.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>One year later, Mr. Cannell pulls into the school parking lot and immediately gets into a confrontation with Coach Tom, who has been fired and is living in his van, which he parks in the parking lot. Mr. Cannell threatens Tom with a handgun but does not shoot him, instead retreating to the principal’s office.</div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, the girls in class gossip about the new boy in school, Chip, who moved into the abandoned house where Jeffrey shot his satanist film — and who now seems to be dreaming about Jeffrey, as he tells Zara. Zara supplies some helpful information: “Jeff Lucas wasn’t his real name. Cops found out he was living with a lot of homeless people up in Hobo Canyon. Maybe he really was a Celt deity. Maybe he’ll come back like he promised.”</div><div><br /></div><div>At night, a black-robed figure kills Tom in his van, attacking him with an axe.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOIe-JISj3djaUh3Tx3pqaomdI6DaNSukO1fiaYwRiQIP1pkEp3nel92NpzLIUVUYbZoEVTc3K1Eoi1nzaoHbV-rwF77W-EvOoqcQLV-O4g_lL5HHuIcKWbq1YhHeW1nMvKzQq103MIw1D_4ZT7fCStxOSgFEF28QNwKYXXQVT3lE5gKE7TRcYKW6VVZE-/s2224/TOM%20AXED.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1228" data-original-width="2224" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOIe-JISj3djaUh3Tx3pqaomdI6DaNSukO1fiaYwRiQIP1pkEp3nel92NpzLIUVUYbZoEVTc3K1Eoi1nzaoHbV-rwF77W-EvOoqcQLV-O4g_lL5HHuIcKWbq1YhHeW1nMvKzQq103MIw1D_4ZT7fCStxOSgFEF28QNwKYXXQVT3lE5gKE7TRcYKW6VVZE-/w400-h221/TOM%20AXED.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The murder is investigated by Sergeant Antonio Sabato Jr., who thinks Mr. Cannell is the killer due to the fact that Coach Tom had a picture of Mr. Cannell in the van with him (a picture the killer did not remove). Brenda points out the illogical of the killer leaving identifying evidence behind, but Sgt. Sabato Jr. says, “Please, Doc, don’t mess up my slam-dunk murder with psychology.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The police take Mr. Cannell in to the station to interrogate him, following the standard pattern of a slasher film. The principal explains to the police that he bought a handgun because he had been getting voice messages on his home phone whispering, “Dead above ground.” (This sounds quite chilling, though the film never allows the audience to hear such a message.)</div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, at Bay View High School, the teenagers arrange a seance to be held at Chip’s house to try to contact Jeffrey’s spirit. (They do not remind us that Jeffrey lived in Hobo Canyon and not the mansion where he filmed his student project.) One student says, “You want to go watch Chip vibe Jeffrey’s ashes in the afterlife?”</div><div><br /></div><div>Her friend responds, “Cool. What are you gonna wear?”</div><div><br /></div><div>The filmmakers cut to the creepy old mansion two minutes before midnight as the high school students prepare for the seance. Zara calls on the spirits to send a message to Jeffrey. Creepily, Chip looks up at the cobwebby ceiling and in a gravelly voice says, “Dead above ground.”</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXAx_3_oMt3L6_DRyCYkXpbVWxQpolbEEP5TbpQ2hSEKXO5ZZ6f7Ma-Op12YtS2L9RihUBm8e8WniXbFSPzTRWfh47F5reIQbfdNYfg0zD4pNY9UJVTYQdO3ij5Yo-YBULrRPO48uaGSqWXeoEVSEse_dTZcZVrHT_znWIOEnM7BTJ6iyD1T5pqBRwDrfR/s2155/FACE%20IN%20MIRROR.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1208" data-original-width="2155" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXAx_3_oMt3L6_DRyCYkXpbVWxQpolbEEP5TbpQ2hSEKXO5ZZ6f7Ma-Op12YtS2L9RihUBm8e8WniXbFSPzTRWfh47F5reIQbfdNYfg0zD4pNY9UJVTYQdO3ij5Yo-YBULrRPO48uaGSqWXeoEVSEse_dTZcZVrHT_znWIOEnM7BTJ6iyD1T5pqBRwDrfR/w400-h224/FACE%20IN%20MIRROR.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>For unclear reasons, all the students pile into a wood-paneled car and drive to Stephen J. Cannell’s house, exhorting each other that they must warn him that a possibly possessed Chip said, “Dead above ground.” When they reach their principal’s house, however, they see blood on the front door. Nevertheless, they open the door and investigate. One of them sees the beheaded mannequin on the floor, and is then startled when she trips to see Mr. Cannell’s severed head lying nearby.</div><div><br /></div><div>Sgt. Sabato Jr. investigates again, questioning Dylan and hypothesizing that each murder scene leads to the next victim: Coach Tom had a photo of Mr. Cannell at the murder scene, and at the scene of Mr. Cannell’s death, Dylan tells his circle of friends that the TV screen showed a picture of Kelly, Dylan’s girlfriend. Dylan continues, “The cops think the killer is using Jeff’s movie as some sort of blueprint for the murders.” (It must be noted that this theory is fascinating, though completely unsupported by any events presented to the audience, as neither victim so far had any connection to Jeffrey’s movie.)</div><div><br /></div><div>Zara takes everything seriously, though her theory doesn’t quite match the detective’s. “His spirit is going to kill each of you one at a time unless we stop him.”</div><div><br /></div><div>At this point, Zara develops a plan to save her friends’ lives, which uses their friend Darcy as a pivotal part. “It doesn’t do us any good to just talk to Jeffrey’s spirit. We have to have something to bargain with so he’ll agree to stop these killings.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Darcy says, somewhat confusingly, “I’m not gonna be the vestal virgin. You can find someone else for that job.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“But your dad is Reed Wilson,” explains Zara. “He’s a famous screenwriter. Maybe he can make Jeffrey’s dream come true…and get his movie into Sundance.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, Sgt. Sabato Jr. strolls on the beach with Brenda, the guidance counselor as they recap the plot. She tells him about last year: “They screened Jeffrey Lucas’s movie and all the kids started laughing.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Sgt. Sabato Jr. then voices the film’s most perfect line in a delivery style only this accomplished actor could. “I can’t imagine why. With all this strawberry syrup they should have been cooking some pancakes!”</div><div><br /></div><div>The detective and the guidance counselor develop a plan to crack the case: Because Jeffrey was gripping a tennis trophy a year ago when he was hauled to the principal’s office after yelling at the screening of his film, they will now dust the trophy for prints to find out who Jeffrey Lucas really was.</div><div><br /></div><div>Brenda says, “If you can follow me back to my office, I’ll give it to you right now.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Smoothly, Sgt. Sabato Jr. says, “Well, Dr. Boone, I could follow you anywhere you want me to follow you to.”</div><div><br /></div><div>(Later, Sgt. Sabato Jr. will charm Brenda with further smooth talk: “I couldn’t decide between police work or brain surgery, but I chose this because I love to eat at Taco Bell.” Of course, this line leads to a tasteful sex scene between the detective and the guidance counselor.)</div><div><br /></div><div>Back at the mansion at midnight, Zara performs another ceremony with the goal of speaking to Jeffrey and offering to broker a movie deal. Jeffrey’s spirit does not appear, however, because, they reason, Jeffrey is distracted because Kelly is not at the mansion. Chip volunteers to drive to Kelly’s house to convince her to participate in the seance. Unfortunately for everyone involved, Kelly is attacked somewhat abstractly in her car by a robed figure.</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, all the friends drive to Kelly’s house. They find Chip tied upside-down to the ceiling, and he tells them that a figure killed Kelly.</div><div><br /></div><div>The next day, after various bits of dialogue reveal that a photo of Darcy was found in Kelly’s stomach, implying she will be the next victim, Dylan confronts Zara in the school library. He reveals he knows (somehow) that Zara flunked a polygraph test. She tells him, “Dirt is just matter in the wrong place and thought is mind in the wrong place. Therefore mind is matter and thought is dirt.” She also tells Dylan that tonight, the one-year anniversary of Jeffrey’s death, is when “the blood will flow.” As a result, she agrees to go see Detective Sabato Jr. Shockingly, Zara confesses to the detective that she committed three murders. However, she adds that she committed the murders in partnership with Dylan!</div><div><br /></div><div>In a twist surely nobody could see coming, the hooded killer finds Dr. Brenda Boone in a convenience store, where he growls, “Dr. Boone, are you ready to rumble?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“No,” she stammers.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Oh yeah,” he replies.</div><div><br /></div><div>He knocks her out and drags her past the murdered clerk.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEithMBveTyNa5OdkC_3cuYQccehNsLHK_giyCfR7YzQU8WeX1yaAJDJKZtjVT2kbaEj3sMojCRoW5-f2MWgDR0GMGb9JE7EBIGvn09u-R-859gYNdRiKJbbeOaO-2E4Q8yKRYxjmFumlnsunFVVSIvZFuDJAh8ovhUov8kZRvv0WXsKhjD0plcR4FJdJiRg/s2224/CLERK%20WITH%20AXE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1319" data-original-width="2224" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEithMBveTyNa5OdkC_3cuYQccehNsLHK_giyCfR7YzQU8WeX1yaAJDJKZtjVT2kbaEj3sMojCRoW5-f2MWgDR0GMGb9JE7EBIGvn09u-R-859gYNdRiKJbbeOaO-2E4Q8yKRYxjmFumlnsunFVVSIvZFuDJAh8ovhUov8kZRvv0WXsKhjD0plcR4FJdJiRg/w400-h238/CLERK%20WITH%20AXE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>In prison, where Dylan is being held, Sgt. Sabato Jr. helpfully wraps up several plot threads. Speaking to Dylan, he reveals that Jeffrey was really a teenage psychopath named Rick Mallory who killed his father (in the film’s opening sequence) and stole his money, then enrolled at Bay City High School to take a summer communications class taught by Stephen J. Cannell.</div><div><br /></div><div>In another plot twist that might be described as convenient, the imprisoned Dylan calls his friend Monster and tells him to hack into the prison database to release Dylan from prison before midnight. Of course, this works, and everyone converges on the house where Jeffrey shot his film.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the final twist, the killer is revealed to be Chip, who believes he is possessed by a demon and needs to perform a ceremony so he can “pass on.” He drags Darcy into the mansion, where he has already imprisoned Brenda. Then he removes the mask he was wearing, revealing the burnt face of Jeffrey himself. (Indeed, Chip was Jeffrey all along.)</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHAZt2iNXZWkohlPUGw3SjkZ8U4MYQ5Jqg_-_X7Tt0U5mEDFRhbp_dvCbvYhXMOlkkn76Y25tkv6hbGR9aNtiKjPR2RrcQOaHAbfENEAICN8GslZmdqycNfKuggkuaLzDqAZnkdNagvsxFNidANhZ_cX2yMTvEErHf53CWp7eYznU-N_-KavN9atAb28bi/s2118/BURNT%20FACE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1296" data-original-width="2118" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHAZt2iNXZWkohlPUGw3SjkZ8U4MYQ5Jqg_-_X7Tt0U5mEDFRhbp_dvCbvYhXMOlkkn76Y25tkv6hbGR9aNtiKjPR2RrcQOaHAbfENEAICN8GslZmdqycNfKuggkuaLzDqAZnkdNagvsxFNidANhZ_cX2yMTvEErHf53CWp7eYznU-N_-KavN9atAb28bi/w400-h245/BURNT%20FACE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Fortunately, the prison system works quickly and efficiency, so Dylan is able to drive to the mansion well before midnight. He fights with the deformed psychopath, ripping off one of the killer’s ears before retreating to the roof. In the final confrontation, Dylan throws Jeffrey off the roof. Jeffrey falls to the rocks below, which are conveniently studded with iron bars to impale the body.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the happy ending, Dylan and Darcy are reunited. They kiss, and Darcy pays her boyfriend the ultimate compliment: “You’re such a Baldwin.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Surprisingly, however, Jeffrey’s body disappears from the rocks at the bottom of the cliff. When Sgt. Sabato Jr. sees this, he says what we are all thinking: “Jesus. Not again.”</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">The End </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /><hr /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Much is notable about Dead Above Ground, including its status as Robert Conrad's final film and its status as the film with the highest-profile performance by Stephen J. Cannell. In addition to writing and producing Dead Above Ground, Mr. Cannell (who created Mr. Conrad's TV series Black Sheep Squadron) gives one of the film's best performances as the teacher/principal. Also notable is Mr. Cannell's penchant for setting this film in his own expansive universe, where the All-American Motion Picture Awards stand in for the Academy Awards and Bay City (also referenced in Mr. Cannell's TV shows The Rockford Files and Renegade) stands in for Los Angeles, or perhaps Malibu. Those nostalgic for Stephen J. Cannell shows like The Greatest American Hero, The A-Team, and dozens of others, will appreciate the settings of the Cannell-verse, though there are unfortunately no references to the California Stars baseball team, of which Mr. Cannell was fond. Above all, Dead Above Ground is a fusion of the high school-set slasher film and the sensibilities of a prolific TV producer (who also happened to be one of the best TV writers of the 1970s and 1980s), which makes it unique, highly entertaining, and a lost classic of the genre.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>Doctor Pseudonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07584099620426375486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-909065385728154804.post-10101911378836812032023-12-18T04:00:00.000-08:002023-12-18T04:00:00.236-08:00“How Could a Pack of Wild, Wild Dogs Do This?” - Lone Wolf (1988)<div style="text-align: left;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR2etaGBpluYijDRXSIPadi6og84R3jN1Q98BA7r4Oa8USXskJhvstY-vKyL6q8D2odTIgfcmp8n4vaWKPWeZAxe4MpvBJIZGsrVLeHHE_kWdA74KFhtvjpb19frLWXI2iu7NHOEtTQ7pDMxpOxAXzJlC1M9Aon8tIK7QB9C1N0t_e85V3P3JGIkpO0HVS/s1254/Lone%20Wolf%20Title.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="1254" height="204" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR2etaGBpluYijDRXSIPadi6og84R3jN1Q98BA7r4Oa8USXskJhvstY-vKyL6q8D2odTIgfcmp8n4vaWKPWeZAxe4MpvBJIZGsrVLeHHE_kWdA74KFhtvjpb19frLWXI2iu7NHOEtTQ7pDMxpOxAXzJlC1M9Aon8tIK7QB9C1N0t_e85V3P3JGIkpO0HVS/w640-h204/Lone%20Wolf%20Title.png" width="640" /></a></div>It is time to delve back into the small body of work of Denver, Colorado's Michael Krueger, visionary writer/director of <a href="https://www.senselesscinema.com/2019/12/night-vision.html">Night Vision</a> (1987) and <a href="https://www.senselesscinema.com/2019/08/mindkiller.html">Mindkiller</a> (also 1987). Mr. Krueger wrote Lone Wolf, leaving the directing chores to John Callas. (Behind-the-scenes information about Mr. Krueger and Mr. Callas may be found in a fascinating <a href="https://theschlockpit.com/2020/05/22/lone-wolf-1988-john-callas-interview/" target="_blank">article</a> by Matty Budrewicz at The Schlock Pit.) Tragically, Mr. Krueger would pass away in 1990, leaving only a handful of fascinating films behind.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">As with the writer's other films, some of your universe's critics unkindly dismiss Lone Wolf. For example, reviewer tmccull52 <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw5543356/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a> inaccurately, "Even for 1980s schlock horror, this movie is terrible. The acting is beyond atrocious." Reviewer NoDakTatum <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw9407701/?ref_=tt_urv">writes</a> dismissively, "The budget and script lack, the talent is lost, and it lumbers along." And reviewer Leofwine_draca <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw4355871/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "LONE WOLF is a film too cheap and predictable to make much of an impact."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Read on for a fuller appreciation of Lone Wolf...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div><span><a name='more'></a></span>After its nearly unreadable opening titles, the film opens with a spectacular image: a half-human, half-wolf hand framed by the full moon.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSAukURQq5Hrl_K4nicjzmO6P1mRwCduFa7PcqzdCQ4UygqGNTO07zggaGI7_yBd5u6QvdLZVYfj7ErAoIEhZiFnfXWe6mpQ-XU_6ekmhwxRX4CEbGW4pwP_FoxNiBTMePko3tVChgqh9u5eRVyzhRFMNKV0cqKqcIquHDrekiSo-LTA3XHsf3LLTePM25/s2224/FULL%20MOON%20AND%20HAND.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1369" data-original-width="2224" height="246" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSAukURQq5Hrl_K4nicjzmO6P1mRwCduFa7PcqzdCQ4UygqGNTO07zggaGI7_yBd5u6QvdLZVYfj7ErAoIEhZiFnfXWe6mpQ-XU_6ekmhwxRX4CEbGW4pwP_FoxNiBTMePko3tVChgqh9u5eRVyzhRFMNKV0cqKqcIquHDrekiSo-LTA3XHsf3LLTePM25/w400-h246/FULL%20MOON%20AND%20HAND.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The camera pans to a familiar scene: a young man and woman making out in a car on a foggy evening. The camera’s POV stalks the car as the woman gives the man a hard time for drinking in her car. The man angrily gets out of the car, after which the woman drives away, leaving him in the forest on a snowy, foggy night. Of course, he is soon beset by a beast that attacks him with its claws.</div><div><br /></div><div>With the man still screaming, the film cuts to the city of Denver, where a rock band performs at a small club. They sing a song called “Let It Rock” about getting their name on the rock and roll charts.</div><div><br /></div><div>After the band’s performance, lead singer Eddie stands in an alley smoking when he hears branches cracking (there are, it must be emphasized, no trees in this urban alley). Nothing happens, so Eddie complains about the smoke effects onstage to his band mates, then accepts a note from Vince, the aging and bearded club owner. The note is from Deirdre, one of the women in the club who is attracted to Eddie.</div><div><br /></div><div>The next day, Eddie confronts his Aunt Trudy, with whom he lives, about playing in his band. “We no sooner move here and you’re already getting into trouble,” Aunt Trudy says. “If you’d listen to what they treat you in school, you’d probably learn.” (A truer statement would be difficult to find.)</div><div><br /></div><div>“DOS,” Eddie growls at her.</div><div><br /></div><div>“What did you say?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“DOS,” he sneers. “Disc Operating System.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Don’t get smart with me.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Well, that’s what they teach you. It’s all bullshit.” (Again, it would be difficult to find a truer statement.)</div><div><br /></div><div>At school (where, following cinematic tradition, all the students are in their thirties and forties), Eddie helps to dissuade two bullies who are picking on a “nerd” named Joel by stealing his computer programs (which, of course, are printed on sheets of paper). Joel is also helped by Julie, the young woman whose troublesome beau was the victim of a werewolf attack in the opening sequence. The film introduces a dozen or so students, all of them obsessed with the computer program homework that is due today. In fact, a brawl ensues that seems partially due to the homework. </div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, a police investigation begins that involves Detective Commitski, a policeman who jokingly makes strange sounds over the phone to his sergeant, and Sergeant Patrickson, who must inform the dead young man’s parents (his father’s name is Dan Harmon) about his gruesome death.</div><div><br /></div><div>Back at school, there is more computer class action as we learn that the only thing computers can do is turn switches on and off, while two of the testosterone-fueled young men come to blows a second time over whether or not they have written the computer program assigned for homework. We also learn that one of Eddie’s antagonists plays sports and is possibly being suspended because of his bullying (though this is not entirely or even partially clear). The athlete follows someone he thinks is Deirdre, one of the attractive female students, but he is attacked in an alley by the werewolf.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrQ1CWKdC4quW-u2OuypMCecj6PimxlByaruJZDCcKHe55mGezk1VSzpeyOIP_phTYeIewvgt8hqWKzHDit9c778PpOKJjsGH4lJ3vObWjxyJtB69K9i1DxzBfDNu2NqWSHv6ikMaC7LNk1chtlifKOrXXCNtpT_wvc5H14tEE-GakoDr49Va5EcWLR1pb/s2169/WEREWOLF%20ATTACK.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1668" data-original-width="2169" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrQ1CWKdC4quW-u2OuypMCecj6PimxlByaruJZDCcKHe55mGezk1VSzpeyOIP_phTYeIewvgt8hqWKzHDit9c778PpOKJjsGH4lJ3vObWjxyJtB69K9i1DxzBfDNu2NqWSHv6ikMaC7LNk1chtlifKOrXXCNtpT_wvc5H14tEE-GakoDr49Va5EcWLR1pb/w400-h308/WEREWOLF%20ATTACK.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Later, the dark-haired Deirdre seduces one of the male students, an athlete clearly in his forties, by telling him to come to the park, where he will find her and they can make out on a blanket. When he reaches the park (actually a forest), he finds the werewolf instead and is quickly murdered.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxQGIe8VohrE6UgHc7o1ZX7gWyROdVuFFPIoF8aSv_dIV0aLxg7cH1tPc418H5w3eUGOn8Qx3Pfpi3CBy7rGWd0C2vRBmOBIrbYFLuCA47K3qopDQ6l-8gZq2oEKzaCSrz-0D6I8m1A06LdEv4Y86tr8b8eeBd24xCKjK8NJVH9zm388_vZJff4y28cn2M/s2146/WEREWOLF%20MURDER.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1668" data-original-width="2146" height="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxQGIe8VohrE6UgHc7o1ZX7gWyROdVuFFPIoF8aSv_dIV0aLxg7cH1tPc418H5w3eUGOn8Qx3Pfpi3CBy7rGWd0C2vRBmOBIrbYFLuCA47K3qopDQ6l-8gZq2oEKzaCSrz-0D6I8m1A06LdEv4Y86tr8b8eeBd24xCKjK8NJVH9zm388_vZJff4y28cn2M/w400-h311/WEREWOLF%20MURDER.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>At the nightclub, a friend meets Deirdre, who watches Eddie’s band perform. Her friend asks, “Didn’t you have a date with what’s-his-name?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“What are you, a cop?” Deirdre snaps, though nobody has discovered her seducee’s body yet, making the audience think that Deirdre might herself be the werewolf.</div><div><br /></div><div>Deirdre goes backstage and attempts to seduce Eddie, but he decides to leave with the owner Vince, disappointing Deirdre.</div><div><br /></div><div>At a community meeting the next day, Sergeant Patrickson tells the assembled townspeople that the police are dealing with the wild dogs in the area. He is interrupted by Dan Harmon, who gives what can only be called an eccentric performance. “How could a pack of wild, wild dogs do this?” he cries. The meeting degenerates as townspeople begin shouting and the sergeant tries to tell them the problem is under control.</div><div><br /></div><div>In computer class, the teacher, Mr. Simmons, eloquently brings the themes of the film together as he cries out against the disappearances of the town’s forty-year-old students. “This is wrong. Terrible. And we are all responsible. We walk around with our heads in the sand pretending what we don’t know won’t hurt us. As if we’re the machines. As if we’re the computers. As if we can turn our emotions on or off at will!” A young woman pats his sweatered shoulder as if he is a pet and tells him it will be all right.</div><div><br /></div><div>The film dissolves to one month later, when nerd Joel (who bears a resemblance to Jerry Seinfeld) and the first victim’s girlfriend Julie stroll along a snowy sidewalk at night. Joel suggests hacking into the police mainframe to find out what they know about the murders from last month. They go to the library where Joel tricks a librarian into giving him access to a computer. “This is real time-consuming doing this by hand,” he says about the research he and Julie are doing.</div><div><br /></div><div>“And expensive making all these copies,” Julie adds.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Look, I know you have the same information on your computers. If I could just use one of your terminals for just a few hours, I could retrieve this data real quick. I could access your database and transfer it to my disks. I’ve got my own disks.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The librarian demurs: “We can’t let a student play with our computer system. This is a very complicated and expensive machine.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Nevertheless, in the next scene, Joel and Julie are in a computer room accessing the police database through a computer terminal. They enter all the information they have about the recent attacks. When this reminds Julie of her dead boyfriend Skip, the two nearly kiss, but they are interrupted by their computer teacher, who kicks them out of the building. Also, based on the flimsiest of evidence, the teacher calls the local police and says he suspects Eddie of the recent killings.</div><div><br /></div><div>After Eddie’s unnamed band performs an entire highly original song about wanting to rock you all night long, the werewolf pulls out the beating heart of a drunk stumbling out of a bar who happens to be Eddie’s uncle.</div><div><br /></div><div>Also, another young couple parks in the woods at the exact same spot as Skip and Julie in the opening. They are nearly attacked by the werewolf, but they drive away in the nick of time. Unfortunately for the female half of the couple, Colleen, when she is dropped off at her friend’s house, she finds herself stalked by the werewolf, who must have followed the couple, moving as fast as their car.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the middle of the night, Joel and Julie break in to the municipal building, where they hack into the computer system and find there were reports of giant wolves or wild dogs associated with each attack. They also hear Colleen outside as she is chased by the werewolf. </div><div><br /></div><div>Acting sensibly, Joel fashions a molotov cocktail. Before he lights it, however, the werewolf is scared off by the flame from his lighter. Joel is convinced it was a werewolf, and he convinces Julie and Colleen, so he immediately makes plans to fashion a silver bullet. “This isn’t Michael J. Fox we’re dealing with here. We’re going to need some help with this.”</div><div><br /></div><div>At night, by coincidence, Eddie bumps into Joel and notices Joel has several books on lycanthropy. When Joel asks Eddie how he knows what lycanthropy means, Joel quips, “I’m not as dumb as you look.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Eddie helps Joel break into the school, where Joel is alarmed to see the shadow of the werewolf.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6HJjq-w4k0Oc0Mg3Idg3YBUrBMBWCaLR5d7oQcQHjzK3bmG48i-7zb8XJNdMYpCFiYkjIRgPRPqvOJIT3mxbTIYEyPcXKHiggIuwJykIwt1x5KF6irv0uoHot4qOnFGNh8XLW-HWh5jz5uyYHwCJZh9b8Sl6AC73Ob_ho8aE6W7DLmBQbq-MkbZVOaqRb/s2224/WEREWOLF%20SHADOW.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1668" data-original-width="2224" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6HJjq-w4k0Oc0Mg3Idg3YBUrBMBWCaLR5d7oQcQHjzK3bmG48i-7zb8XJNdMYpCFiYkjIRgPRPqvOJIT3mxbTIYEyPcXKHiggIuwJykIwt1x5KF6irv0uoHot4qOnFGNh8XLW-HWh5jz5uyYHwCJZh9b8Sl6AC73Ob_ho8aE6W7DLmBQbq-MkbZVOaqRb/w400-h300/WEREWOLF%20SHADOW.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, the comedically inclined Detective Commitski receives a phone call. Giggling, he repeats a description to the other police officers. “Description: very tall, acting intoxicated, yelling and howling…and very hairy!”</div><div><br /></div><div>Sergeant Patrickson, serious, asks, “Did you say very hairy?”</div><div><br /></div><div>The detective jokes, “Kinda sounds like that gal you been dating.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Patrickson recruits Commitski to go with him to find the “very hairy” individual near the school. All the various characters converge on the school, including the werewolf. Eventually, after some confusion, Commitski finds a bloody rib cage in the snow and asks Patrickson if this was where they saw Eddie.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Yeah, it was right…around here?” Patrickson replies with great certainty.</div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, Joel and Julie meet up with Eddie, Colleen, and Deirdre in the woods, where Joel, based on the locations of the creature attacks, deduces that the werewolf will stay in the vicinity of the school, presumably in perpetuity. In an interesting inversion of Chekhov’s Law, Joel reveals he has a handgun as the film enters its final act.</div><div><br /></div><div>The next day, the five students wake up after what appears to be a pleasant sleepover complete with cornbread muffins.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc74cVujT6pA2nr7BnHAapvETMjzQp7B7dS-si-pScfSAHlHvUaeTerMGQjsokWWrDydvU2B4JWJxTaSSxDYOLOwYc_AmafaQlmREibwMe2POma60eZPiXpC9AqJN_u9DtOtNdyYVHxrA8fx4lcicgYwIYtXV9fSVcrOBKlFPdAP-6F6LzWAVZLjirUnWv/s2171/SLEEPOVER.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1668" data-original-width="2171" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc74cVujT6pA2nr7BnHAapvETMjzQp7B7dS-si-pScfSAHlHvUaeTerMGQjsokWWrDydvU2B4JWJxTaSSxDYOLOwYc_AmafaQlmREibwMe2POma60eZPiXpC9AqJN_u9DtOtNdyYVHxrA8fx4lcicgYwIYtXV9fSVcrOBKlFPdAP-6F6LzWAVZLjirUnWv/w400-h308/SLEEPOVER.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Unfortunately, the women start blaming each other for the werewolf murders due to their dates being killed at various times. Eddie convinces them that none of them can be the werewolf because they have all seen it. Then all of them go to the school, where the 17th annual Winter Costume Ball is being held — there is some concern about the murders, but the school faculty require everyone to remain in the gymnasium for safety. Of course, Eddie does not play with his band at the dance because he, along with the other four students, is one of the police’s chief suspects. The five of them sneak through the school. They appear to be looking for something, though it is unclear what they are doing in the school. In any case, Eddie, showing impeccably sound logic, suggests they split up so they will not be caught by the police on campus.</div><div><br /></div><div>At the same time, the film reveals its werewolf transformation scene, done through closeups so as not to reveal the werewolf’s identity. The transformation consists primarily of sharp teeth pushing forward between someone’s lips.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJFAs-O8A5RvoMfTyrG-c__ONBCSUSTIfqL-BIRrT-KiIEiC9g7BiIW9laFaVEAffpC3vWIWPAzVlDtmwGzuvw1PBcw6ySM8OR188_vEBZWZy9CauvCmSIX9jnZjY_6FkiCw-FdbrneWEtf4LvM9famlxnXd6o4dMqVa2E7wGX9A5eiNj7mdOZlsqw4w58/s2224/TRANSFORMATIN.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1668" data-original-width="2224" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJFAs-O8A5RvoMfTyrG-c__ONBCSUSTIfqL-BIRrT-KiIEiC9g7BiIW9laFaVEAffpC3vWIWPAzVlDtmwGzuvw1PBcw6ySM8OR188_vEBZWZy9CauvCmSIX9jnZjY_6FkiCw-FdbrneWEtf4LvM9famlxnXd6o4dMqVa2E7wGX9A5eiNj7mdOZlsqw4w58/w400-h300/TRANSFORMATIN.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>In the thrilling climactic sequence, the werewolf drops onto the stage, killing one of the teachers and causing general panic.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_VdWXtW5MchpipsdqdyxX8iZ0wbH47sBoQJoiAF1RAuYhnfm2sAIvhQ4oW32wWeyPcnaZM5ms3Z3VZ_bX3eTBDNlMTMD5Y9xU2akdv_mzxYnOAh0pNWkmHcPt999yLJczIXIGFzepEyAZqpMQt6SjH8yKjXsIYN414ckHigTwmXxjxo4US66ntHRCeCCt/s2224/WEREWOLF%20FACE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1668" data-original-width="2224" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_VdWXtW5MchpipsdqdyxX8iZ0wbH47sBoQJoiAF1RAuYhnfm2sAIvhQ4oW32wWeyPcnaZM5ms3Z3VZ_bX3eTBDNlMTMD5Y9xU2akdv_mzxYnOAh0pNWkmHcPt999yLJczIXIGFzepEyAZqpMQt6SjH8yKjXsIYN414ckHigTwmXxjxo4US66ntHRCeCCt/w400-h300/WEREWOLF%20FACE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>In an iconic moment, the werewolf rips off a student’s head and tosses it into the punch bowl!</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnTQ1DfGDYHCntNKTYBN0MThIq8QkdbNXK9Z8qMz4XABS943hU2LPJiGUjhyphenhyphenNqb-z0RTsvPyd32SXLGwKOiefbRrcx4GTUTXNzKm3VgXcVaIxDud21G-6YgvuAh9_vvGwRCziyJ0RXnxc2Pts3gdCVr-4uSUzGRfdTx2p5vnJ8y2G-MCYTU5mGVzBLAVux/s2224/HEAD%20IN%20PUNCHBOWL.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1668" data-original-width="2224" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnTQ1DfGDYHCntNKTYBN0MThIq8QkdbNXK9Z8qMz4XABS943hU2LPJiGUjhyphenhyphenNqb-z0RTsvPyd32SXLGwKOiefbRrcx4GTUTXNzKm3VgXcVaIxDud21G-6YgvuAh9_vvGwRCziyJ0RXnxc2Pts3gdCVr-4uSUzGRfdTx2p5vnJ8y2G-MCYTU5mGVzBLAVux/w400-h300/HEAD%20IN%20PUNCHBOWL.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The squad of a half-dozen policeman shoot the werewolf in a corridor, but Joel reminds them they need silver bullets. Eddie takes Joel’s gun and, with little fanfare, shoots the werewolf, who falls against a locker and begins to transform back into a human. In the end, it is revealed (despite literally no setup at all) to be the computer teacher, Mr. Simmons.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the film’s heartwarming coda, Eddie and his band go on stage at Vince’s nightclub and rock the house with their song about listening to rock and roll music called “Raised on Rock N Roll.” The lyrics include the following immortal words:</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">No matter what day it is</div><div style="text-align: center;">I get up and turn on the radio.</div><div style="text-align: center;">It’s a rock and roll station.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I heard it a long, long time ago.</div><div style="text-align: center;">It’s that rock and roll music</div><div style="text-align: center;">That starts my engine every day.</div><div style="text-align: center;">It’s the sunny pro</div><div style="text-align: center;">It fits right in in every way.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Yesterday saves today.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Tomorrow will be the same.</div><div style="text-align: center;">So it goes…raised on rock and roll.</div><div><br /></div><div>However, in the coda to the coda, one of the students attacked by the werewolf begins to transform as he is attended by doctors at the local hospital.</div><div><br /></div><hr /><div><br /></div><div>While Night Vision and Mindkiller were visionary reality-altering films, Lone Wolf is, on the surface, a more traditional, commercial monster movie. That surface is, however, an illusion. Although the film includes many staples of the 1980s werewolf film (a transformation scene, a beheading, a mystery about the identity of the werewolf), it is in fact set in a universe that is quite different from your standard Universe-X. In the world of Lone Wolf, students go to a school that is neither a high school nor a college -- it is simply called Fairview School. The students are clearly as old as many of the teachers, and they frequent alcohol-serving nightclubs every night, despite attending a school adorned with lockers and libraries and computer labs. This universe operates differently from that depicted in your traditional films. In it, the werewolf is in reality a minor character who barely participates in the main action of the film. There is no foreshadowing whatsoever. And the dramatic decision at the climax is made by Sergeant Patrickson, a police officer who must decide whether to allow Eddie (a suspect) to hold a handgun armed with silver bullets or to kill Eddie instead. For these reasons and more, it is clear that Lone Wolf exists outside of your reality, and that makes it a fitting follow-up to Michael Krueger's more experimental horror films, creating a small but reliably fascinating body of work to which more attention should most certainly be paid.</div><div><br /></div></div>Doctor Pseudonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07584099620426375486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-909065385728154804.post-71960717123829125332023-12-04T04:00:00.000-08:002023-12-04T04:00:00.142-08:00“Just Because You’re a Vampire Doesn’t Mean You’re a Superhero” - The Last Vampire on Earth (2010)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEuyS_JDg1XyjlROk-nMAaDaisDugjiFQfzBFCtjjIdktwkneKU8N1r_C94a4CFWGMzblxAI2RQnSorClhtPr6S38YuCvIoDreOySmMJr2iRrmAiKuyLB4PLcEs2f6mH9aFz2PfILl3kjHiRiad1rkywsRqfwp1WxUiQfk_cmG6dlBdBbM0KI36KNGeZ4u/s1476/The%20Last%20Vampire%20on%20Earth%20Title.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="398" data-original-width="1476" height="172" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEuyS_JDg1XyjlROk-nMAaDaisDugjiFQfzBFCtjjIdktwkneKU8N1r_C94a4CFWGMzblxAI2RQnSorClhtPr6S38YuCvIoDreOySmMJr2iRrmAiKuyLB4PLcEs2f6mH9aFz2PfILl3kjHiRiad1rkywsRqfwp1WxUiQfk_cmG6dlBdBbM0KI36KNGeZ4u/w640-h172/The%20Last%20Vampire%20on%20Earth%20Title.png" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;">Let us continue our exploration of modern classic films with a treatment of The Last Vampire on Earth (2010), a vampire romance between young people set in rural America, a highly original if not unique premise. Directed by Vitaliy Versace, the film is a visionary story about good vampires and evil churchgoers.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Some of your universe's critics, as usual, downplay the success of the film, and even the self-published <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Last-Vampire-Earth-someone-forever/dp/1449948960/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3OY8DUTRZOS8S&keywords=the+last+vampire+on+earth+book&qid=1700267303&sprefix=the+last+vampire+on+earth+bo%2Caps%2C264&sr=8-1#customerReviews" target="_blank">novel</a> upon which it is based. For example, film reviewer Jesusloveselvis <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw3786562/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">jokes</a>, "I would advice [sic] anyone who is blind to watch this with the sound turned off for maximum pleasure." Reviewer KMRocky <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2616746/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "There is no story and no plot to this film at all unless you like watching two teens have unmindful conversations about nothing I wouldn't waste your time watching this." And reviewer floraposteschild <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw3815153/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "this film is not even good enough to have on in the background at your Hallowe'en party."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Read on for the truth about The Last Vampire on Earth...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div><span><a name='more'></a></span>The film begins with a shot of the full moon as a young woman supplies a profound monologue (or perhaps reads from a term paper): “There are all kinds of people and creatures in this world. Generally, we can distinguish between the real and the fantasy. But what happens when that fantasy creeps into our reality? What if we start believing in the things that lurk in the night? In previous centuries, we’ve taken the ideas of monsters, witches, and vampires to heart. We have hunted and killed people to satisfy our need to rid the world of evil. Who are we to condemn what we see as evil? Have we stopped to listen to the accused? If witches and vampires are real, and the particular powers we associate with them are real, who are we to extinguish them from existence?”</div><div><br /></div><div>After opening titles appear over shots of nature and outlines of blood cells, we find ourselves at a high school (or perhaps a college) where students are arriving for class. Two young men serve as our Greek chorus as they explain current events and complain about other students they see. “Oh my God, this is gonna be like the best party yet this year,” says one teen.</div><div><br /></div><div>“I know,” replies his friend. “Everyone who’s anyone’s gonna be there.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The screenwriter’s authentic dialogue continues: “Dude, look at that. I wouldn’t go anywhere looking like that.” (He is referring to a young woman, Chloe, with dark hair dressed like everyone else on campus.) Then his friend says, “Take a look at this guy. He totally needs a tan. He’s like the palest person ever.” (He is referring to a young man with the exact same complexion as the speaker.)</div><div><br /></div><div>The filmmakers cut to an English classroom, where a bearded teacher writes the word “DRACULA” in gigantic letters on a whiteboard.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJsApGK9lkY99NI42Qv-aSr79VyNHuBdd_L2ICeBZy806-sMYJU-ghQ5PJaodjKvQcEkU2DEzX_tAsOiFw87KDVhuJT40oLSePdO2QvpSf6luZzd7UdfDsYwRF-dnfgBIVDCGhyTKuVd1InRoF-PtYVpEK-oYdtCkMX_yf4GFTMAKvoNfb2jpo4i-K_XEr/s2360/WHITEBOARD.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1309" data-original-width="2360" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJsApGK9lkY99NI42Qv-aSr79VyNHuBdd_L2ICeBZy806-sMYJU-ghQ5PJaodjKvQcEkU2DEzX_tAsOiFw87KDVhuJT40oLSePdO2QvpSf6luZzd7UdfDsYwRF-dnfgBIVDCGhyTKuVd1InRoF-PtYVpEK-oYdtCkMX_yf4GFTMAKvoNfb2jpo4i-K_XEr/w400-h221/WHITEBOARD.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The teacher turns to the class and introduces the topic of Bram Stoker’s novel, awkwardly saying, “There’s more to this novel than…bloodthirsty and horror.” He tells the students they need to perform the novel in costumes as their final project. Then he immediately assigns the part of Dracula “randomly” to Aurelius, the supposedly pale young man. He assigns a teen named Noah to be Jonathan Harker and Chloe to play Mina Harker.</div><div><br /></div><div>After class is over, Chloe and her friend Melissa (who is playing Lucy Westenra) talk about the project in the hallway. Chloe, despite sounding half asleep, says, “Personally, I’m thrilled about this. We’re gonna have a lot of fun. Besides, at least we won’t be stuck listening to professor drone on for an hour.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Her friend intones even more sleepily, “Well, I’m happy with my part. I’ve always wanted to play a sultry female vampire. Who knew that lit class would bring all my fantasies to fruition?” Nobody responds to this provocative statement, and nobody asks why she used the unnecessary word “female” in her statement.</div><div><br /></div><div>After school (or college), Aurelius casually strides up to a blood mobile parked on the side of the road. He introduces himself to Wayne, the driver, and offers the man a proposition: “I’d like to buy some of this blood from you.” He tosses several dollar bills into the cab of the van.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Okay, Aurelius, you’re speaking my language. How much do you want?”</div><div><br /></div><div>Aurelius buys five gallons (gallons being the standard unit of measure for blood, of course) from Wayne. He writes an address on a piece of paper and hands it to Wayne. “Nice doing business with ya.”</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCu-swTiwNHxTYL48jkJv-ded68SiglEXdAX9F7BFCYHZgauYgzEZBqlT6r9hRNAjW9Koy3PA04iLvbrep5bJkaoK4pWqCLzgDEngBrxZOb3RxTEgSVWpJJ2yFe9v71_tg50wwugPqHP0HOOc_fJuDIzjbKnIf7wQi7lY-b6dq3-kGwB3oh8stPcNYQdQL/s2360/BLOODMOBILE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1310" data-original-width="2360" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCu-swTiwNHxTYL48jkJv-ded68SiglEXdAX9F7BFCYHZgauYgzEZBqlT6r9hRNAjW9Koy3PA04iLvbrep5bJkaoK4pWqCLzgDEngBrxZOb3RxTEgSVWpJJ2yFe9v71_tg50wwugPqHP0HOOc_fJuDIzjbKnIf7wQi7lY-b6dq3-kGwB3oh8stPcNYQdQL/w400-h223/BLOODMOBILE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>There follows a five-minute sequence where Aurelius’s path is blocked by Chloe as he walks through the school’s halls, followed by Chloe saying, “Sorry.”</div><div><br /></div><div>In lit class, the students begin a read-through of Dracula — although the professor indicated they would perform the novel as a play, the students begin by simply reading the text of the novel.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the library, Chloe initiates a conversation with Aurelius. “Are you taking biochem too?” she asks.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Yeah,” he replies, and jokingly adds, “It’s a killer.” He agrees to meet with Chloe and others in the lit class to prepare for the reading of Dracula.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the next scene, Chloe has her blood drawn for a medical test. The lab tech tells her, “Enjoy the rest of the day, and remember to drink a lot of water.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Chloe responds, “Okay, you too,” in what is a response out of a nightmare — perhaps the film’s most frightening line of dialogue.</div><div><br /></div><div>Over coffee, Aurelius tells Chloe his major is hematology: “I’d love to try to help find cures for blood diseases that are really stumping scientists. Like diabetes and AIDS.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Chloe reveals her father is a minister, and she asks if he wants to go to church with her.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Sure, why not?” he says, adding, perhaps needlessly, “Sunday morning?”</div><div><br /></div><div>Indeed, they attend church together and watch Chloe’s father give his sermon on different kinds of love, including romantic love. He also encourages his congregants to reach out to people they do not know, or who they recently met. (It must be noted that, even though he is described as pale and wants to be a blood doctor, Aurelius is not importuned in any way by the church or its various crucifixes.)</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ97QKLp84w2zrQcNqQzRLBnAoWjNVOaCmq6TMKzLjBATJpr69dPVsnCnLmVfXvVWFjHhAhFdheMA6ayDn_IAAV3N-EY-Vyy7ysFBCGRhstR9gAdtoCQ-LlQxGfUJw9_9nkjA2WsMvw958_WbOa4TDzdDLqhUO2sefwyFNHMCJ8HiQZaTWX2B-f7u1ekI3/s2360/CHURCH.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1323" data-original-width="2360" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ97QKLp84w2zrQcNqQzRLBnAoWjNVOaCmq6TMKzLjBATJpr69dPVsnCnLmVfXvVWFjHhAhFdheMA6ayDn_IAAV3N-EY-Vyy7ysFBCGRhstR9gAdtoCQ-LlQxGfUJw9_9nkjA2WsMvw958_WbOa4TDzdDLqhUO2sefwyFNHMCJ8HiQZaTWX2B-f7u1ekI3/w400-h224/CHURCH.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Aurelius visits Chloe’s house for dinner. When he tells everyone he is majoring in hematology, everyone falls silent. Chloe’s father, Reverend Melvin, explains: “In our religion, we believe that blood is sacred and we’re not allowed to eat blood of any kind or seek blood transfusions. If we were to do so, we would be shunned from the church.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Aurelius responds innocently, “If you were in a bad accident and lost a lot of blood, you’d be in a real predicament then. That’s a shame.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Chloe changes the subject to reading Dracula in lit class. </div><div><br /></div><div>After dinner, Aurelius drives away and spits out the chicken he has eaten. He drives immediately home, where he meets the driver of the blood van (actually a blood minivan). The driver brings styrofoam containers into Aurelius’s house, then starts investigating the place while Aurelius is in another room. He sees nothing unusual, though he is startled when Aurelius appears seemingly out of nowhere to explain he’s conducting a study of leeches, which is why he needs the blood.</div><div><br /></div><div>After a montage in which Chloe and Aurelius fall in love, and a vocalist on the soundtrack sings about wedding bells, he entices her to come back to his house where he downloaded some notes about vampires and “printed them out online.” Of course, she agrees to go home with him at night. While looking for his bathroom, she finds the styrofoam containers of blood. Saying nothing, she takes his printed notes and he drives her back to her dorm.</div><div><br /></div><div>By reading the notes (which she now sees on her computer screen), Chloe comes to the realization that Aurelius, shockingly, is a vampire. At school, she explains her reasoning to Aurelius. “Hematology, pale skin, cold hands, the coolers of blood in your house. YOUR HOUSE! You have no family and seemingly no friends. Why me? Why would you want me to know this? I’m just a girl going on about her life, trying to make the world a better place. This is insane.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Stop. Look at me. I want you to know, because you are just a girl trying to make the world a better place.” He adds, “I feel this magnetism to you that I can’t explain.” He makes her tell him she thinks he’s a vampire, and he says, “Yes.” She replies that it makes her admire him more.</div><div><br /></div><div>“How old are you?” is the first question she asks him.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Twenty,” he replies.</div><div><br /></div><div>“How long have you been that old?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“For about two thousand and twenty-eight years.”</div><div><br /></div><div>(The language some might find “awkward” is no doubt a clever way for the filmmakers to avoid the criticism that their film depicts a romantic relationship between a teenage girl and a 2,028-year-old man.)</div><div><br /></div><div>“Wow. That’s a long time to be by yourself. Did you see Jesus?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“I heard him speak a couple times. He was a great man.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“That’s amazing,” she gushes. “I’m so jealous.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, Chloe has a reaction to the medications she’s on, resulting in her vomiting water into a toilet. She lies in a hospital bed while her doctor explains how they will try to keep her disease, AIDS, at bay.</div><div><br /></div><div>At night, Chloe and Aurelius lie on the ground looking up at the stars. Aurelius mansplains (or, more accurately, vampiresplains) both constellations and the myth of Pegasus to Chloe as heavy piano chords play on the soundtrack. Then he says there are events in history he wishes he had changed. Wisely, Chloe comforts him: “Just because you’re a vampire doesn’t mean you’re a superhero. You still have to accept your limits like everyone else.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“When I’m with you, I feel like I could die,” he admits, “And that would be all right, because I know there’s another person out there who cares enough about the world to do something.”</div><div><br /></div><div>They kiss and bump noses awkwardly.</div><div><br /></div><div>In school, the little class rehearses their version of Dracula in the auditorium. The student playing Jonathan Harker reads the text of the scene with Dracula’s vampire brides, while other students read the dialogue of Lucy and Van Helsing. </div><div><br /></div><div>After Sunday dinner with Chloe’s family, Aurelius vomits his chicken into the toilet. Chloe enters the bathroom, having heard his vomiting. In a scene whose mise en scene might be considered odd, we watch as Chloe speaks with Aurelius in the bathroom, only to be overheard by her little brother Chad, who is leaning halfway into the room.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSnv9nt7B8e6gAjqU1YZlLjvn20jSLzN2VyxScnFk_4l2n86RVzfc8LJiRr6-s7kCL2WDUZQP0TfAUPYQ8Nvo-0hS3jshESxBfjxeh8xKIU3bj3lsFrEOknz1yYuaRQxAkMhxFjgWGr509a-o7SX8Q9kak6hJ7sbs9m20Ztj36OIxK_ZW67ilf7YwIU_JU/s2224/BATHROOM.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1217" data-original-width="2224" height="219" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSnv9nt7B8e6gAjqU1YZlLjvn20jSLzN2VyxScnFk_4l2n86RVzfc8LJiRr6-s7kCL2WDUZQP0TfAUPYQ8Nvo-0hS3jshESxBfjxeh8xKIU3bj3lsFrEOknz1yYuaRQxAkMhxFjgWGr509a-o7SX8Q9kak6hJ7sbs9m20Ztj36OIxK_ZW67ilf7YwIU_JU/w400-h219/BATHROOM.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>“I know as a vampire you need blood and all, but I didn’t think eating normal things would make you sick.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Despite hearing all this, Chad throws a football around with his dad and Aurelius for a few minutes before Aurelius announces he needs to go home. </div><div><br /></div><div>At home, Aurelius drains a plastic sack of blood into a glass in real time, a process that takes several minutes. He drinks the blood, then feels so energized he plays ping pong with himself at super-speed a la The Flash, somewhat controverting Chloe’s claim that being a vampire does not make him a superhero.</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, Chloe visits the hospital because she notices a bruise on her back. The doctor believes the bruise is a sign of advanced HIV status, so he thrillingly refers her to a dermatologist. </div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, Chad speaks with his parents, stumbling over his words because he is so emotionally distraught, possibly. “Sunday, when Aurelius was over for dinner, after dinner I heard him and Chloe talking. And I’m pretty sure, I mean I don’t see how she could have said something else or I misunderstood her…I heard Chloe say that he’s a vampire.”</div><div><br /></div><div>His father, Reverend Melvin, says sensibly, “I’m going to get to the bottom of this.” He drives to Chloe’s dorm, but first he arranges to meet someone at the church. Having arranged that meeting, Melvin confronts Chloe as she sits on her bed. “I need to know. This is very important. If Aurelius is a vampire, we need to take action. We can’t let him wander around bringing evil into the world.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Dad, how can you say that? You’ve spent time with him. He’s a good person.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“So it is true.” Reverend Melvin leaves the dorm and heads to the church. </div><div><br /></div><div>Then, perhaps as we might expect, Chloe goes home, picks up a handgun, and heads to Aurelius’s house. When she finds it empty, she too drives to the church. Though all the church doors are locked, she hears her father’s voice in the nearby woods, where various churchgoers have tied Aurelius to a stake.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiymVbuG5Fl4eJTk3I6oFlfQIZiZAApc_gsaUoC5Q0AQ4Farwqphx5C8-TWrZHD50gK6EVTtgdaioaE_sqMpo2uSXjJRl5duRqQ4KTWfSTnFD_KP9XKy-X0Xwq0UH_sdyavsL3_dfeBkBanaRidy6qVikbAUeMQGrjmH5kuAtS1tzklR0fmDx5nKhwdadf/s2224/TIED%20TO%20STAKE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1225" data-original-width="2224" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiymVbuG5Fl4eJTk3I6oFlfQIZiZAApc_gsaUoC5Q0AQ4Farwqphx5C8-TWrZHD50gK6EVTtgdaioaE_sqMpo2uSXjJRl5duRqQ4KTWfSTnFD_KP9XKy-X0Xwq0UH_sdyavsL3_dfeBkBanaRidy6qVikbAUeMQGrjmH5kuAtS1tzklR0fmDx5nKhwdadf/w400-h220/TIED%20TO%20STAKE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Reverend Melvin orates as if he is running some kind of sacred ceremony. “Jesus shed his blood for us on the stake so that we might be saved, and for this reason we do not share or ingest blood. This creature has violated that gift in the most profane way. He feeds off our human blood so that he might live.” (One might question why the church is full of crucifixes if they believe Jesus was staked rather than crucified.)</div><div><br /></div><div>Chloe has no choice but to interrupt the deadly ceremony, whipping out her gun. “Stop or I’ll shoot,” she intones, beginning one of the finest monologues in the history of cinema. “This is a good man, and if you took the time to get to know him, you would find that out.” She adds, “He wants to help find cures for diseases. He wants to help find a cure for diseases like AIDS. Maybe that doesn’t mean much to you, but it means a lot to people like me who have it. That’s right. I have AIDS and it’s advancing very quickly. I don’t have that much longer to live, and I will not hesitate to shoot someone for trying to kill Aurelius. I’m not afraid of punishment, death, or things I do not understand. All of you are afraid of him not because you truly think he’s evil, but because you don’t understand what he is. What kind of Christian spirit is this? Would you do this to someone who has cancer? No. You would help them because they have a horrible disease. What makes him so different? Do you think he revels in what he’s become?”</div><div><br /></div><div>One of the churchgoers moves and Chloe shoots him. Then she forces them to untie Aurelius. He says to her, “Come on, let’s go.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Before they walk away, Chloe waves her handgun and says, “Shame on you all.” Thunder cracks, though the sun is bright.</div><div><br /></div><div>At night, the rain has started. Chloe and Aurelius sit in his living room. “Why didn’t you tell me you have AIDS?” he asks.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Because…I didn’t want you to think less of me.”</div><div><br /></div><div>She explains that she got AIDS on a mission trip in Africa when her clinic was attacked. She rescued a young girl who was bleeding, and some of her blood entered a cut on Chloe’s arm.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Wow,” says Aurelius. “You don’t deserve this.” (He says nothing about whether the young girl who had previously been infected deserves her situation, though Chloe mentions her.)</div><div><br /></div><div>Chloe asks the question the entire film has been building to. “If you were to bite me and make me into a vampire, would I be free of this disease?”</div><div><br /></div><div>He answers affirmatively, indicating she would be immortal like him.</div><div><br /></div><div>“We can spend the rest of our lives trying to help people and trying to find cures for horrible diseases.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“That would be nice, but you don’t want this. You don’t know what it’s like to live through centuries with all the people you know and love dying around you.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“I would like it, so long as I were with you.”</div><div><br /></div><div>He refuses to bite her, telling her to go to sleep because she’s exhausted. He uses his superspeed to bring her a blanket. (There is no indication why he did not use superspeed to avoid the gaggle of churchgoers, however.)</div><div><br /></div><div>Of course, the climactic scene occurs at the performance of Dracula. They perform dialogue only, and there is only one vampire bride, but the performance is quite effective. When it is time for Dracula to bite Mina, Aurelius asks, “Are you 100% sure?”</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">She says “Yes,” so Aurelius bites Chloe’s neck onstage. Artistically, the image fades to monochrome, and the film simply ends. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><hr /><br /><div>Much of The Last Vampire on Earth is concerned with sophisticated dialectical arguments about good and evil, as well as truth and falsehood. One example is the film's title. Some pedantic filmgoers might argue that the title does not need "on Earth," as "The Last Vampire" is a more punchy title, but perhaps the more serious criticism is that there is never an indication that Aurelius is in fact the last vampire on Earth, and by the finale he is joined by Chloe as a vampire. Perhaps The Second Last Vampire on Earth would be a more accurate -- and therefore better -- title.</div><div><br /></div><div>In any case, The Last Vampire on Earth is a distinctive film both narratively and visually. Narratively, the film is a love story that uses the fictional story of Dracula to frame the difficult, age-old decision about whether one should become a vampire to avoid dying from AIDS. Visually, the entire film has a vignette filter applied, so the edges are dark and blurry. Together, these innovations make The Last Vampire on Earth another modern classic, fit to be mentioned in the company of <a href="https://www.senselesscinema.com/2023/11/deadly-lessons.html">Deadly Lessons</a> (2006) and <a href="https://www.senselesscinema.com/2023/04/the-last-inn.html">The Last Inn</a> (2021).</div><div><br /></div>Doctor Pseudonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07584099620426375486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-909065385728154804.post-85152757162731674132023-11-20T04:00:00.000-08:002023-11-20T04:00:00.131-08:00"Looking for a Needle in a Stack of Needles" - Spellcaster (1988)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje9_mWT2ayVBu6C0WQLV9HGnqm_jsqVYf5tqEfn6wQHVCW-nEG6qg-c21qUNTwouzg1a1wK2PIZWbDEiK4HikcmFZuJgKDtUFd9Cyt8kI8mzT1KPfThVsZXq1bptOb3DFcHURzUppL0kYP6gtt0RJFpicwoS1X7VGjKueMy2S-O06hgom_u0x9KZ_Brq99/s1194/Spellcaster%20Title.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="398" data-original-width="1194" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje9_mWT2ayVBu6C0WQLV9HGnqm_jsqVYf5tqEfn6wQHVCW-nEG6qg-c21qUNTwouzg1a1wK2PIZWbDEiK4HikcmFZuJgKDtUFd9Cyt8kI8mzT1KPfThVsZXq1bptOb3DFcHURzUppL0kYP6gtt0RJFpicwoS1X7VGjKueMy2S-O06hgom_u0x9KZ_Brq99/w640-h214/Spellcaster%20Title.png" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />We have done very little exploration of the prolific output of Charles Band's Empire Pictures here at Senseless Cinema, so it is time now to correct that oversight with 1988's Spellcaster, directed by Rafal Zielinski, the famous director of Screwballs (1983), Screwballs II (1985), and Screwball Hotel (1988). </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Some of your universe's critics fail to appreciate Spellcaster, and indeed Empire Pictures as a whole. For example, reviewer SlasherReviewer <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw0262333/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "This movie was just plain junk, the only thing it had going for it is that it was shot in a castle over in another country." (The country is Italy.) Reviewer Sergiodave <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw6141572/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>,"Avoid unless you are really bored." And reviewer BZinkeys <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1569385/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "The only true horror I see here is a nail in the coffin of the '80s being dead." (I confess I only half understand what BZinkeys is saying here.)</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Please read on for the truth about Spellcaster...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div><span><a name='more'></a></span>The film begins in a pop music video set in a castle as announcer Richard Blade introduces a contest in which contestants win a trip to a European castle to meet the singer Cassandra Castle, and possibly to find a million-dollar prize within the castle. Two young adults, Tom and Jackie, watch Mr. Blade on RockTV as he immediately announces the winners of the contest. Of course, brother and sister Tom and Jackie are two of the contest winners—they are simultaneously fired and quit their job as restaurant dishwashers.</div><div><br /></div><div>The film cuts to Rome, where a series of cars pulls up to a castle. For some reason, Tom and Jackie ride in the back of a small pickup (it is unclear whether RockTV paid for this transportation or the siblings simply hitchhiked from the airport to the castle). As they disembark, they run across Richard Blade on camera introducing each of the winners: Myrna, Harlan, Teri, Tony, and of course Cassandra Castle. Cassandra is clearly uninterested in the castle. She says in her charming British accent, “Stuff me in this tiny limo with four miserable Clearasil cases, and now I’ve got to spend the godawful weekend in some stink-hole castle.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Surprisingly, two motorcycle cops drive up. Richard Blade quips, “It’s the police, and I don’t see Sting.” They have come to impound Tony’s sports car, which turns out to be stolen.</div><div><br /></div><div>Eventually, Jackie and Tom arrive on foot because their flight was light and they missed the scheduled limousine. As they walk up to Richard Blade, Jackie says, “We’re the winners from Cleveland.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Mr. Blade’s camerawoman quips, cruelly, “No such thing, kid.” (Later, the camerawoman, named Jesse, will ask her crew to pick up an HD video camera because it will, she assures them, allow them to see in the dark.)</div><div><br /></div><div>As the contest winners carry their luggage up the stone steps of the castle, Myrna fumbles with her bags and complains she is not accustomed to carrying her own luggage. Tom asks what is in the largest bag and Myrna replies, “Guns. I thought I’d get in a little shooting. Rabbits, birds, maybe a boar.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Yeah,” Tom replies, “well, I’ll try my best to be interesting, okay?” (The astute reader will note this is a variation on a boor/bore joke in the 1982 film <a href="https://www.senselesscinema.com/2023/10/crosstalk.html" target="_blank">Crosstalk</a>.)</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, at night, the two crew members tasked with finding an HD camera drive back toward the castle. Suddenly, their car breaks down. “We are lost in the middle of nowhere, we can’t find the castle, and the car won’t start. What else could possibly go wrong?”</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIR_DtkOSM0X_WezEeVg_lNbVXxKl6wtNose9FcJgySdLMnw8vVZ5y7KyJ_d4xF6fzRAtEo-fqhxAjZ3OtwxUD-wRsWDpsgmJkvPCWsWLHqphylnnlESlS64TKG022ARKH2BzPNGqLrgx5lVt_cVXG7mp0l9mX39OeAfK6smvcfDtiqruyYRb4Mp_1ouYO/s2157/CAR%20EXPLOSION.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1640" data-original-width="2157" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIR_DtkOSM0X_WezEeVg_lNbVXxKl6wtNose9FcJgySdLMnw8vVZ5y7KyJ_d4xF6fzRAtEo-fqhxAjZ3OtwxUD-wRsWDpsgmJkvPCWsWLHqphylnnlESlS64TKG022ARKH2BzPNGqLrgx5lVt_cVXG7mp0l9mX39OeAfK6smvcfDtiqruyYRb4Mp_1ouYO/w400-h304/CAR%20EXPLOSION.png" width="400" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>Immediately, the car explodes. Back at the castle, a silhouette in a high tower laughs evilly.</div><div><br /></div><div>The contest winners share dinner in a gigantic dining hall. They are disappointed when the butler announces that their host, Signor Diaboli, will not be joining them. As they dine, Richard Blade announces the rules for the treasure hunt, which is to start at dawn, are basically that a million-dollar check is hidden somewhere in the castle that does not necessitate digging or destroying anything. Also, if anyone leaves the castle, they are disqualified.</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, Tom starts investigating before dawn, against the rules, and Richard Blade and the pop singer Cassandra Castle come up with a somewhat confusing plan about hiding the million-dollar check on her person, possibly in her brassiere, so she can reveal it at the end of the weekend.</div><div><br /></div><div>Various shenanigans occur as some of the contest winners sneak around the castle at night, searching for the check. Also, various sculptures and statues reveal themselves to be ambulatory. The French contestant, Yvette, is attacked by a chair with a lion design, which appears to eat her.</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUlUSYmhgHNpnMWmJ5AllQBvapz2T7Lp6IRbHRGmZ8n30NORk7T8t2cNRhHtfLTJ0ZwaROhImA_2hnZ5fSroGV-1A01w_tok76IQ2RkQKLUVLJKCUlEfiSpI2X4KLz1flulSM8HBc9UxbonHWBsWY9P8TldaqkuBLbJgVsO_Q6xP7HXDJURcnaHSZZiyz_/s2188/LION%20CHAIR.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1640" data-original-width="2188" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUlUSYmhgHNpnMWmJ5AllQBvapz2T7Lp6IRbHRGmZ8n30NORk7T8t2cNRhHtfLTJ0ZwaROhImA_2hnZ5fSroGV-1A01w_tok76IQ2RkQKLUVLJKCUlEfiSpI2X4KLz1flulSM8HBc9UxbonHWBsWY9P8TldaqkuBLbJgVsO_Q6xP7HXDJURcnaHSZZiyz_/w400-h300/LION%20CHAIR.png" width="400" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, Cassandra Castle stumbles upon a basement filled with the blind dead. She screams and they attack her, but she escapes easily. (The zombies, and the basement, are never seen again.)</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGpTjzW8kMHmK5KvUfhMxT5h4vYstfptM9dHBVJDilkcpBAz2rcjdLmVrdPc_5HsvJPFVJpFRET3yDze4vPE6DiM-Pzpfyo_wg_R6Meth2qBqhXk13YGL-qyaRGfAmCZjuDp5StG6bJazX3uROIUW3QsTn5WSQr9aCF5WFOif9s3c-G_K0IhLnG9CVD2v2/s2188/BLIND%20DEAD.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1640" data-original-width="2188" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGpTjzW8kMHmK5KvUfhMxT5h4vYstfptM9dHBVJDilkcpBAz2rcjdLmVrdPc_5HsvJPFVJpFRET3yDze4vPE6DiM-Pzpfyo_wg_R6Meth2qBqhXk13YGL-qyaRGfAmCZjuDp5StG6bJazX3uROIUW3QsTn5WSQr9aCF5WFOif9s3c-G_K0IhLnG9CVD2v2/w400-h300/BLIND%20DEAD.png" width="400" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>Richard Blade finds Cassandra, who tells him about the zombies in the basement. He dismisses her story as an alcohol-fueled delusion. “You’re right, no more juice,” she says to him. “Pills. I need pills.” He abandons her in her room.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the morning, most of the contestants arrive for breakfast. (Though it is past dawn, nobody is looking for the check, for unexplained reasons.) After a few minutes, Mr. Blade instructs Jamie to start taping, but the beginning of the treasure hunt is interrupted by the absence of Yvette, who apparently left a handwritten note excusing herself due to a family emergency (one that presumably did not involve a lion chair eating her). The contestants run through the castle, searching the various rooms. (None of this is being filmed by Jamie, however.)</div><div><br /></div><div>In an unexpected turn, Tony the Italian contestant stumbles into Cassandra’s room, where she is taking a bubble bath. He immediately finds the million-dollar check in her clothes, but he is more interested in forcing himself on her sexually, which results in the butler arriving and uttering the classic line, “You screamed, madam?”</div><div><br /></div><div>The butler forces Tony out of the room and into the hall. In impotent retaliation, Tony uses his switchblade to rip holes in a tapestry hanging on the wall, an act of vandalism that is observed via crystal ball in another part of the castle.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the library, one of the contestants finds Jackie searching through books. “Looking for a check in a library is sort of like looking for a needle in a…stack of needles.” Jackie explains that all of the books in the library are bibles (though the close viewer might notice they have other titles on their spines). After Jackie leaves, Tony threatens the other young woman at knifepoint, believing she has found the check when in fact she has found her contact lens. (There is no explanation why Tony, who in fact saw the check in Cassandra Castle’s clothing, is continuing to look through the castle.)</div><div><br /></div><div>In another shocking twist, the unseen spellcaster of the film’s title, who observes everything through his crystal ball, is able to manipulate the check through the castle. Several of the contestants see the check, but the spellcaster magically makes it fly through the air, leading tragically to Tony falling from a high turret.</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj47Hz-RRLAJGiSHoRwlk_LLUAYBbYNhp389kvmMReR39iP6Sh8f6Xf5WtX17n0I7gFidoJ3SQhoYkcct-lBxFALjrF-obSAoQiFwvE_7lQwe1-86abJ0wH01jyY4OepVjNsnpA6fUEVCS5QI9IVdKj9IIyhuvyNP6Fa9sNBnLX7lFPTV_cbeqYzOXf_kW/s2121/TONY%20FALLING.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1640" data-original-width="2121" height="309" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj47Hz-RRLAJGiSHoRwlk_LLUAYBbYNhp389kvmMReR39iP6Sh8f6Xf5WtX17n0I7gFidoJ3SQhoYkcct-lBxFALjrF-obSAoQiFwvE_7lQwe1-86abJ0wH01jyY4OepVjNsnpA6fUEVCS5QI9IVdKj9IIyhuvyNP6Fa9sNBnLX7lFPTV_cbeqYzOXf_kW/w400-h309/TONY%20FALLING.png" width="400" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, the spellcaster turns the gluttonous Harlan into a sort of were-pig and traps Teri in the dining room with him. </div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcaPCFOQJRqqh4zk-kIO9_dzbc6t4I1jhZFpCouERAWlcOkhGGw6P1b4g_yiR5jXZnF7ZnBBXHf5g83Lma9Y_rUIfhn978i9_Ig5zbqGjbAyACTOVxGeI7cb30HY_ipy3gbCEN_E5h2jx9bUr05RPo0NScYEnVgPlwjbm5ntHb6pA3pP6BZiBdDAIj08cc/s2203/WERE-PIG.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1640" data-original-width="2203" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcaPCFOQJRqqh4zk-kIO9_dzbc6t4I1jhZFpCouERAWlcOkhGGw6P1b4g_yiR5jXZnF7ZnBBXHf5g83Lma9Y_rUIfhn978i9_Ig5zbqGjbAyACTOVxGeI7cb30HY_ipy3gbCEN_E5h2jx9bUr05RPo0NScYEnVgPlwjbm5ntHb6pA3pP6BZiBdDAIj08cc/w400-h297/WERE-PIG.png" width="400" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>Teri runs to her room, but she is attacked by a monster that appears from out of a tapestry. At the same time, Jamie is attacked by a snake made out of electricity that emerges from the electric outlet. And Richard Blade (who appears somewhat uncomfortable during action scenes) is attacked by an ambulatory suit of armor. </div><div><br /></div><div>In the end, only Jackie, Tom, and Cassandra remain. Jackie finds a door that leads into a stone hallway, and finally into the sanctum of the spellcaster, played by Adam Ant. When he reveals himself, she asks, “Is this a video or something?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“No, no. It’s real life,” he replies. “And real death.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“You killed all of them?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Yes, but from what I can see, which is everything, they deserved it.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“How?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Oh, an oldie but a goodie. Black magic.”</div><div><br /></div><div>He shows her the screaming spirits of the contestants who have died. He also tells Jackie that it’s Tom’s turn to die next. She watches the crystal ball as it shows what is happening in Cassandra’s bedroom: Tom, perhaps implausibly, is sleeping with Cassandra when he finds the million-dollar check. “You know what this means?” he says excitedly. “I am totally free of school. I don’t have to work the rest of my life!” (Even in 1988, this seems like it might be an unreasonable expectation for a young man receiving a million dollars.)</div><div><br /></div><div>“Don’t do it,” Cassandra warns him.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Don’t do what? Don’t win? Why?”</div><div><br /></div><div>She tells him she has 18 million dollars. The money will own him, and it always will. She drops the check in the fireplace and it burns to nothing.</div><div><br /></div><div>Suddenly, the fire in the fireplace bursts out, burning her, but Adam Ant teleports her to his sanctum because she wasn’t supposed to remove the temptation from Tom. As a woman who has already sold her soul to the devil (i.e., Adam Ant), she was supposed to lure Tom into selling his own soul for money.</div><div><br /></div><div>Jackie offers a deal: Tom can leave with the million dollars, plus Cassandra gets her soul back, in exchange for Jackie’s soul. Mr. Ant agrees. </div><div><br /></div><div>For some reason, Cassandra fires a gun at the crystal ball. This reboots everything: All the contestants stumble into the sanctum, having woken from their strange dreams. Even Cassandra is alive.</div><div><br /></div><div>In an amusing twist ending, Adam Ant himself becomes a veejay with RockTV. On a TV, he announces the contest that began the film.</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjdSPSOfioIW9Vdvq_ulos6ODjCsBoIUsaNfiymXtCOqb-M5-fw_J0DooVwuDgOy0C-x9VMc0vg-hvlJCTn3SK0pgbfMg9khjVQlj2SLoUWyzp2NJJ-xUpwFVttziMzZukrwv2XBoq5yvHVfWuhu9gsL6TTNpM_RmEVItfAz1JgnZLvwoXAdQJMhSBXks_/s2177/ADAM%20ANT%20ON%20TV.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1640" data-original-width="2177" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjdSPSOfioIW9Vdvq_ulos6ODjCsBoIUsaNfiymXtCOqb-M5-fw_J0DooVwuDgOy0C-x9VMc0vg-hvlJCTn3SK0pgbfMg9khjVQlj2SLoUWyzp2NJJ-xUpwFVttziMzZukrwv2XBoq5yvHVfWuhu9gsL6TTNpM_RmEVItfAz1JgnZLvwoXAdQJMhSBXks_/w400-h301/ADAM%20ANT%20ON%20TV.png" width="400" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>The End</div><div><br /></div><hr /><div><br /></div><div>Among the many notable qualities of Spellcaster is its pedigree. In addition to the esteemed director Mr. Zielinski, famous for many movies with the word "screwball" in the title, Spellcaster benefits from the contributions of writers Ed Naha, Dennis Paoli, and Charles Bogel (who has no other credits, so I choose to believe his name is a pseudonym for Charles Band). Of course, Ed Naha's finest screenwriting credit is for Stuart Gordon's Dolls (1986), a film that might be considered a blueprint for Spellcaster as it involves a group of people trapped in a large dwelling and meeting untimely ends (and it also features Bunty Bailey, who plays Cassandra in Spellcaster). Dennis Paoli is also renowned for his work with Stuart Gordon, along with other Charles Band films. With a pedigree like this, it is not hard to imagine what a masterpiece Spellcaster is. Of course, we don't have to imagine such a thing, as we can see it for ourselves.</div><div><br /></div><div>The existential ending of Spellcaster must also be noted. One can only ponder the eternal question: Why does shooting a crystal ball with a pistol turn the devil into a veejay? This is a question only the truly wise are able to ponder, much less answer. Perhaps the only way to resolve it would be to ask Mr. Rafal Zielinski himself, but he is no doubt too busy working on a new film about screwballs. Therefore, it is assured we will unfortunately never know the answer.</div><div><br /></div></div>Doctor Pseudonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07584099620426375486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-909065385728154804.post-57645142645012502832023-11-06T04:00:00.072-08:002023-11-06T04:00:00.138-08:00"It Kind of Gives Me the Spooks" - Deadly Lessons (2006)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS43Wvul5EUzuobTRoxKjQ0tli6Ystzr_fQkTxzX08KOvSQxNPy5GUVWpqQLVhRcuMEGhhMjsyCN_-_Do91j1h12DifhFn07C5qzqbG0B7uIgU6iDMzAibounXrEQxiGWLQr8XXHrjKowWv-p6-W3J2PI3nzFZ_l6iQ_wxHwNmpQB2-liYXW4s3UawFjdS/s1488/Deadly%20Lessons%20Title.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="398" data-original-width="1488" height="172" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS43Wvul5EUzuobTRoxKjQ0tli6Ystzr_fQkTxzX08KOvSQxNPy5GUVWpqQLVhRcuMEGhhMjsyCN_-_Do91j1h12DifhFn07C5qzqbG0B7uIgU6iDMzAibounXrEQxiGWLQr8XXHrjKowWv-p6-W3J2PI3nzFZ_l6iQ_wxHwNmpQB2-liYXW4s3UawFjdS/w640-h172/Deadly%20Lessons%20Title.png" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;">One genre we have never discussed here at Senseless Cinema is the category of films I like to call "four-wall messiah" films, named after the "four-walling" distribution practice in which an individual or company rents a movie theater in order to present their film. The four-wall messiah genre is a specific type of film in which a usually wealthy filmmaker creates his or her (never her) film and presents himself as a savior within the narrative of the film. Of course, filmmaker Neil Breen is the most famous practitioner of this type of film, but others include the writer/director behind today's classic, Stuart Paul. Mr. Paul's first film, Emanon (1987) was a film in which he played a homeless man who is literally believed to be Jesus. In the ensuing years, Mr. Paul has made various other films in different genres, but perhaps his most ambitious work is Deadly Lessons.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Of course, some of your universe's critics are ambivalent or worse about the film and the message that is Deadly Lessons. For example, reviewer monsieurcs <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1388973/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "The movie has no surprises at all, other than the continuing surprise that you'll have at every inept frame that is up on screen." (The same reviewer writes that Deadly Lesson's technical qualities are incompetent, which is objectively ridiculous.) Reviewer daronhennessy <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw6768637/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes simply,</a> "This movie is in-your-face bad." And reviewer Chubbynluv <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1388692/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "It should be shown in every film class as an example of what NOT to do."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Read on for a fuller appreciation of the visionary and epic (i.e., 2 hours and 18 minutes long) Deadly Lessons...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div><span><a name='more'></a></span>The film begins with a black screen as the hero intones: “In one way you will be insulted by my asking you to rise above to a higher level of consciousness. And on the other hand it can be looked upon as a compliment that you were the one chosen to rise to the occasion. Arrogant bastard, I thought to myself. Who the heck was he talking, like he was some saint or something religious?” Then the narrator describes his mother, a nurse who thought he needed help.</div><div><br /></div><div>As the film’s credits play out as handwritten words on posters and projects in an elementary school (with the final “written and directed by” credit not showing the director’s name, as a teacher is in the process of erasing it from a chalkboard), a woman reaches a classroom full of children. In front of the classroom stands Stuart Paul, the film’s middle-aged, bemulletted writer/director/star, conducting an “experiment” showing the children they shouldn’t fear flying. “Everyone, please close your eyes and listen closely to my voice. Imagine now that you’re dreaming,” he says. “Wave your arm up and down freely. Imagine it’s so light and easy as if it were a beautiful bird’s wing. Up and down, up and down, up and down, yes.”</div><div><br /></div><div>As he speaks, the children in the room become weightless, flying around the classroom. (Their eyes are, of course, open so as not to fly into each other.)</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifB5V7czqFY8x2HGmCftCXhhMqdbvJKrG5Fnjrb4vCr9zHceyiJDsl5JqfdUsz_VMzLOU1Vrh0Pxndh6TLqP9ZvF-H3q-XfeLPS624r7-t_4L5QKi9C0qDRYBbUvf7CAKgSvHEqhfMkwgYIlDu2XPwKM8nyiAKUGQM5x8NETrOK16vpOZxfP09KFww_XtB/s2224/KIDS%20FLYING.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1198" data-original-width="2224" height="215" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifB5V7czqFY8x2HGmCftCXhhMqdbvJKrG5Fnjrb4vCr9zHceyiJDsl5JqfdUsz_VMzLOU1Vrh0Pxndh6TLqP9ZvF-H3q-XfeLPS624r7-t_4L5QKi9C0qDRYBbUvf7CAKgSvHEqhfMkwgYIlDu2XPwKM8nyiAKUGQM5x8NETrOK16vpOZxfP09KFww_XtB/w400-h215/KIDS%20FLYING.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>“Keep your eyes closed, nobody peek,” says the man, whose name is Simon Conjurer (the surname pronounced variously through the film normally as CONjurer and sometimes as conJOOrer).</div><div><br /></div><div>“I’ll never be afraid to fly again,” says one of the kindergarteners after the children fly back to their seats.</div><div><br /></div><div>The woman observing the class, Betsy, says “Mr. Conjurer” as she raises her hand and stands up, though she is comedically stuck in her small desk. Simon grins, addressing her predicament: “Please. Angles are very important.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Betsy sits down silently. Meanwhile, Simon turns a globe of Earth into a blank white sphere. He explains, “Now, because of nature and most of mankind have worked so very hard through the eons of time to create a perfectly balanced, happy world, that’s what I hold in my hand for you to look at.” He turns the blank sphere back into a globe, which flies around the room. “But we got to take care of our world, because if we don’t it could disappear, just like…that!” The globe turns into a dove.</div><div><br /></div><div>The kids all walk to look at the dove. Simon addresses Betsy, but before they can talk one of the children asks Betsy, “Mrs. Nurse, can you take my temperature?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Don’t you feel well?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Uh-huh, but if the world disappears, I know I’m going to be sick.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Simon chuckles, telling the boy he just did a magic trick.</div><div><br /></div><div>Betsy speaks to Simon from her heart: “I heard that you guide a healing class of psychic journey. That you’re a gifted channeled of divine supernatural origins. And that you’re a man of mysticism, magic who heals the sick of mind.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Really. Where’d you hear all that?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“From a crazy man. Used to be. He’s good now. He used to be so angry and dangerous, always stealing, but tells me you had the devil out of him.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Who is that? Mr….”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Evil.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Mr. Evil. Yeah. Did he ever change his name?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“No.” She tells him she needs a miracle because of her son, who calls himself Rebel, even though his real name is Roberto. He almost committed suicide by jumping off a building, but in a flashback we see that he fell into a flatbed truck piled with mattresses due to a quick-thinking neighbor. Betsy begs Simon to help her: “A good sometimes make a stuck horse jump in the mud to its feet.”</div><div><br /></div><div>At night, Simon Conjurer drives through the streets in his gigantic SUV (somehow reinforcing his save-the-earth message to his kindergarteners). The vehicle is filled with flat-panel televisions showing a video of Mr. Conjurer explaining his philosophy. Rebel sits next to Simon in the front seat, though he is not in the SUV willingly, as he tells Simon he will have the man arrested for kidnapping.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMY80pJZpX3cQ7cBLTunESiKAwJextH23233B6rQmyYI2Lp4UOU2_Sxg3oNOgbywJy4NhqAHc-gGQIc20AqbGf1xTnpLV0rix9Mv5QB9jVcoKZ3NY5rpFWHa6VvoP96ANYg5Cs9FQWTpFRawrZglD5PZvI6cODL1YEkRJQ7eBq2SdpxA-uQAwYVgug7F4X/s2224/SUV%20FULL%20OF%20TVS.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1256" data-original-width="2224" height="181" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMY80pJZpX3cQ7cBLTunESiKAwJextH23233B6rQmyYI2Lp4UOU2_Sxg3oNOgbywJy4NhqAHc-gGQIc20AqbGf1xTnpLV0rix9Mv5QB9jVcoKZ3NY5rpFWHa6VvoP96ANYg5Cs9FQWTpFRawrZglD5PZvI6cODL1YEkRJQ7eBq2SdpxA-uQAwYVgug7F4X/s320/SUV%20FULL%20OF%20TVS.png" width="320" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Simon allows Rebel to get out of the vehicle, but after a minute Rebel decides to return, as he clearly has a seed of hope within him. “How you gonna help someone like me anyways, huh?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“That’s for me to know and you to find out,” says Simon.</div><div><br /></div><div>In a comedic twist, Rebel (who gives a nuanced performance punctuated by constant head nods) will only go with Simon if Rebel is allowed to drive, though he has no license. Simon allows this, and the vehicle screeches rapidly around a corner.</div><div><br /></div><div>The filmmakers cut to their surprising ace-in-the hole: the great Jon Voight playing the villain of the piece, a rival psychiatrist to Simon Conjurer named Dr. Crazx (pronounced “Craze-X”). Dr. Crazx, a grotesque man whose nose resembles the putty nose of Orson Welles in Bert I. Gordon’s Necromancy), sits in a luxurious office with his cigar-smoking female compatriot, a college dean, as the two complain about their rival. Dr. Crazx growls, “Simon Conjurer is a self-concealed, self-righteous, disreputable, contemptible, false good-doer we could do without” as he chews a candy bar. He adds, all in one breath, “He’s a threat, not only to this academic establishment, but to the better of society, I tell you. The man is a charlatan, playing tricks on innocent and vulnerable subconscious minds, rearranging the neurons of content into a barbaric concealment and defilement of psychotic delusion for which he masquerades as a miraculous cure!”</div><div><br /></div><div>(Dr. Crazx, it must be added, is described as a Pulitzer Prize-winning psychiatrist, though it is unclear for what he won the esteemed prize.)</div><div><br /></div><div>After Dr. Crazx leaves the dean’s office, the dean reveals (to herself) that she is a graduate of Conjurer’s class. She takes a large, framed photo of herself and Simon Conjurer out of a desk drawer.</div><div><br /></div><div>At Simon’s class, we see the various disturbed individuals who need help—an overweight man, a man squeezing a tennis ball, a man reading a comic book, a man who apparently can’t keep his shoes on, a woman popping pills from pharmaceutical bottles—before Simon arrives and writes an important formula on the chalkboard: E = mc^2, which means “Enlightenment = mind control.” (There is no indication of why or how “control” is squared.) The students include people named, perhaps oddly, WYSIWYG, Andrea, Platehead (aka Crack), Scorpion, Willow, Lulu, Toons, and Tears.</div><div><br /></div><div>When Scorpio, who has anger issues, attacks Rebel, Simon breaks up the fight: “You’re gonna use instinct and inspiration in a good and proper way.” Simon then hands each student a copy of an ancient Necronomicon-like book, explaining that “The right words in the proper order can create or destroy worlds.”</div><div><br /></div><div> Simon asks Rebel to start reading from the book. “You kidding?” Rebel says. “I mean, who wants to read a book?” He mumbles, “I never read a book in my whole life.” (I believe that is what the young man says, as his mumbling is nearly incomprehensible.) Rebel walks to the doorway, done with Simon’s methods. “Who the hell are you, Prophet Man, that I should trust you?”</div><div><br /></div><div>Simon replies eloquently, “Just some smart aleck that’s challenging you to a duel of wits to see whether it is I who breaks you of your fear, or you who breaks me of my convictions.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Convinced, Rebel sits back down in the classroom. “I ain’t got no fear, huh. What fear?”</div><div><br /></div><div>Everyone in the class admits what they want to find in the book—the solutions to all their problems (i.e., alcoholism, gambling, appetite, rage). They also segue into a religious discussion about God. After ten more minutes discussing the book (whose title Simon tells them is “Prophet Without a God”) and their problems, the student Andrea discovers that she and all her classmates are described in the book, which includes all their names, as well as a teacher named Ryan Plogo, a stand-in for Simon Conjurer.</div><div><br /></div><div>“What kind of spook book is this?” asks Scorpio.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Yeah,” says Lulu. “It kind of gives me the spooks.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The book goes on to describe an X-shaped scar on “Ryan Plogo’s” nose. The camera glides toward Simon, showing the bridge of his nose, which shows a kind of crease that one might mistake for a scar, though it is not X-shaped. Also, the book describes a self-inflicted scar on Rebel’s skin spelling out D-A-D, which Rebel reveals to be real.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBvjWaHpmEi4t5k67i4nUgbe-kFDIadD99lHOLiK9rNd2izMKFbkV1f4NBYlfv_pc5y9ws50dE9QkAlQzATnC-AGzv91ilmYhC9VOKt-8d6aaubtek3lILemhEWzxDlT9eHgXNL0uZxF9O4X1VjkumIuDmOti5az3gRq4wx_eIhTnadsANAlDhMcbcVJp_/s2224/REBEL%E2%80%99S%20TATTOO.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1224" data-original-width="2224" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBvjWaHpmEi4t5k67i4nUgbe-kFDIadD99lHOLiK9rNd2izMKFbkV1f4NBYlfv_pc5y9ws50dE9QkAlQzATnC-AGzv91ilmYhC9VOKt-8d6aaubtek3lILemhEWzxDlT9eHgXNL0uZxF9O4X1VjkumIuDmOti5az3gRq4wx_eIhTnadsANAlDhMcbcVJp_/w400-h220/REBEL%E2%80%99S%20TATTOO.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Oddly, all the classmates have disfigurements such as missing ends of tongues, tattoos, and scars. Each character, somewhat embarrassingly, reveals their disfigurements. Of course, this serves to bond the reluctant classmates together, particularly the male model who only has one nipple.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBPyxbq5k7wPEezafbqD5FBnQGpOPK6ZTSErzVYTAVhjIGvB0LVRzz2zSzIX32da0-AmqfJpiuYQrNDP2Gce1Jb8nB29ltA-3dEiL4QiALfKFlUisytUNkrdAWM-cGE86ntHn6FdWcp3VbLiK6mk73GwHZ7naKNOR0-z7AqCqsMf4mzlgGxSSGL2HhuTid/s2224/ONE%20NIPPLE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1222" data-original-width="2224" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBPyxbq5k7wPEezafbqD5FBnQGpOPK6ZTSErzVYTAVhjIGvB0LVRzz2zSzIX32da0-AmqfJpiuYQrNDP2Gce1Jb8nB29ltA-3dEiL4QiALfKFlUisytUNkrdAWM-cGE86ntHn6FdWcp3VbLiK6mk73GwHZ7naKNOR0-z7AqCqsMf4mzlgGxSSGL2HhuTid/w400-h220/ONE%20NIPPLE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The last student to display a disfigurement is Tears, the young depressed woman, whom the book says has a tattoo of a kiss on her backside. Tears herself believes this, but when she (or perhaps a body double) pulls down her pants, there is no such tattoo. Simon reads further from the book: “And Tears had only thought that she had the kiss of love on her backside, for sometimes she couldn’t differentiate between reality and fantasy.” (Simon’s distinctive pronunciation of “differentiate” must be heard for the viewer to fully appreciate Stuart Paul’s performance.)</div><div><br /></div><div>Lulu reads even further in the book, which helpfully explains not only the plot but also describes what is happening nearby without the filmmakers needing to show the action. Lulu reads, “Ryan Plogo knew he would be teaching himself what he already knew.” (This sentence is not explained further.) “The others would learn this too, but there was no time to lose. For just then, Dr. Crazx along with Dean Elkwood were pulling up with the authorities to arrest Ryan Plogo. His only crime was in his unyielding search for truth and commitment to justice. He defied the conformist establishment, breaking the threshold of lies which fester havoc in the minds of men. Could it be he knew that Dr. Crazx had a hidden agenda of evil awaiting?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“What’s this Dr. Crazx look like?” asks another student.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Humpty Dumpty,” says Lulu, possibly looking at an unseen picture in the book.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Yep, he’s coming.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Indeed, the doctor, the dean, and several officers are downstairs, approaching the building.</div><div><br /></div><div>For unknown reasons, Scorpio confronts Simon, grabbing his shoulder. Simon reflexively tosses Scorpio through the air, showing incredible strength.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4noY-UHumf4Mc0uB9Sw6dA3y1gfZYoZlbq-xxYhMKDQMHmI5ZP7007Z_ScR_h6nh92kmEA6798wwrZBr5E_A6DntxsmBAYm4g8gFiqZvlVYk5XqS1DlF3pzhg8udOndQN4IvQ-66GjfyXWucWf2YUdpOycBKVKipi5q_VndlkpPvi-7y19riiqj3SSRHw/s2224/SCORPIO%20FLYING%20AGAINST%20WALL.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1225" data-original-width="2224" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4noY-UHumf4Mc0uB9Sw6dA3y1gfZYoZlbq-xxYhMKDQMHmI5ZP7007Z_ScR_h6nh92kmEA6798wwrZBr5E_A6DntxsmBAYm4g8gFiqZvlVYk5XqS1DlF3pzhg8udOndQN4IvQ-66GjfyXWucWf2YUdpOycBKVKipi5q_VndlkpPvi-7y19riiqj3SSRHw/w400-h220/SCORPIO%20FLYING%20AGAINST%20WALL.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Despite the approaching authorities, the classmates argue for several minutes, trying to decide whether to stay in the classroom or leave. They eventually decide to all leave together, making an enormous amount of noise as they scramble down the hall. Dr. Crazx storms into the empty classroom. When he fails to find Simon, he leaves, vowing to find the man, though he simply leaves the classroom and goes away, not investigating the school.</div><div><br /></div><div>The film cuts to a city street, where a little girl has fallen off a building and died. The investigating detective complains, “Damn, I’m sick of murder. Especially young murder.” The authorities believe Simon is at fault, having brainwashed the little girl into thinking she can fly. (Interestingly, while the rest of the film involves its characters repeating story points to make certain the viewer is following, this bit about brainwashing is efficiently handled in one line of dialogue.)</div><div><br /></div><div>In a Hitchcockian shot, the camera cuts to an overhead view of the scene, then rotates to show a skyscraper, then pulls back to reveal it is inside a child’s room, where a young boy wearing a cowboy hat for unknown reasons looks at the window. His mother enters his room to tell him what happened in kindergarten was just imagination and that he can’t really fly like a bird.</div><div><br /></div><div>Down on the streets, a large moving van past a movie theater playing Master and Commander (2003), revealing the film takes place in 2003. Simon Conjurer and all the classmates sit on the bare floor in the back of the van, the rear door open to reveal Los Angeles traffic whizzing by. The classmates discuss their addictions and their lack of access to food, alcohol, drugs, etc. as well as the fact that their teacher turned out to be a murderer wanted by the police. “You guys gotta believe me, I’m innocent,” Simon says.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Face it, guys, we’re all desperate losers,” says one of the classmates. “We have no other choice but to believe in him now.” (Her logic, I must admit, is unclear.)</div><div><br /></div><div>They continue reading the book in the back of the van. WSYWIG, the man addicted to eating and concerned about his weight, reads aloud about himself, prompting a flashback to his childhood. </div><div><br /></div><div>Eventually, a police car finds them and attempts to pull the van over.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOHI4AU2hkk9CnxyPLlsNW-hRPEgGR05GDClUqo6iftgDtm8wiehsoRt_1qWnY3-_w2Azz5wZIIFIl0RZoHDQZFv1MBVyVFncLJzyp13q5rc0awJrbilzjp5kr7COsOMdJgpdSYJSm2zatnieuk9x7H_RNzzzGytm3likzAVINQaUQa2OGMzgAlOf_gWM9/s2360/POLICE%20CAR.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1209" data-original-width="2360" height="205" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOHI4AU2hkk9CnxyPLlsNW-hRPEgGR05GDClUqo6iftgDtm8wiehsoRt_1qWnY3-_w2Azz5wZIIFIl0RZoHDQZFv1MBVyVFncLJzyp13q5rc0awJrbilzjp5kr7COsOMdJgpdSYJSm2zatnieuk9x7H_RNzzzGytm3likzAVINQaUQa2OGMzgAlOf_gWM9/w400-h205/POLICE%20CAR.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Oddly, the van fails to pull over. The classmates all panic and begin to hyperventilate, forcing them to come to each other’s aid and relax. Triumphant music swells, though the police car still chases them, siren blaring. WYSYWIG says, “Pickled onions! I think I just figured out how to get myself out of an anxiety attack. By helping someone who’s in the middle of an anxiety attack.” The epiphany prompts a flashback in which WYSIWIG realizes why he overeats. It involves burglars breaking into his house as a child and his mother failing to do anything. “Holy cucumber salad!” he says. “I just realized why I eat myself into oblivia [sic]. Ever since that day, I shove food into my fat face [sic] trying to ease my own anxiety!”</div><div><br /></div><div>“One down,” Simon says, “nine to go.”</div><div><br /></div><div>In a turn of events as shocking as it is confusing, Scorpio climbs through a door in the van, presumably into the cab. The film cuts to a few minutes later, as two LAPD officers hold guns on the two drivers of the van, whom we have never seen before. The officers laud Scorpio and his classmates as heroes; the officers apparently believe the classmates to have been kidnapped. Even more surprisingly, there is enough plastic explosive in the back of the van to “blow downtown into the harbor.” The drivers were terrorists.</div><div><br /></div><div>Of course, Scorpio is thus cured of his anger problems, having seen justice work out. Prompted by the book, he explains he was angry because his father used to beat him up, and his grandfather used to beat up his father.</div><div><br /></div><div>Two down, eight to go.</div><div><br /></div><div>The classmates walk away from the van. Also, the police car drives away, even though the explosives are still in the unattended moving van sitting at the curb.</div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, Dr. Crazx is at a bookstore, signing copies of his latest book The Summation for a long line of fans. He signs his book with inappropriate notes like “Suicide not that bad!” Dean Elkwood arrives to confront the evil doctor. She hands him a copy of Simon’s book with a note inside implying that the kindergartener didn’t jump out the window but was pushed. As Dean Elkwood leaves, Dr. Crazx has a heart attack.</div><div><br /></div><div>Simon and the classmates break into Dr. Crazx’s apartment, which looks more like a museum, and they look for evidence of Simon’s innocence. This leads to more epiphanies and cures in short order. Tears realizes her mental issues are the result of repressing memories of her father taking advantage of her at knifepoint. The alcoholic realizes her father was a drunk, so she doesn’t need to drink anymore. The male model flashes back to his father-figure uncle, who smoked all the time and called him ugly, and realizes his addiction to cigarettes was due to low self-esteem. The anorexic woman realizes she doesn’t eat to keep men away from her. The drug addict flashes back to an impressive single shot where her father drove over a little girl riding a bike, killing her and simply driving away. (Such an experience, it must be noted, would drive anyone to drugs.)</div><div><br /></div><div>Shockingly, the classmates also find that Dr. Crazx has hidden the “lost” Library of Alexandria in a medium-sized room in his apartment. Platehead, the gambling addict, reveals he has great knowledge of ancient philosophy, though this does not yet lead to the solution to his gambling problem.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWeGuPOQAg5VS2b78eb_t1mkCUcFRx57s1rRMWu0Snbc2XJnAH5ghGP0OaGlmwtXJfDFkpwZOLWC2ksoq8pHeMaKuL92FHIpBdULzCd9gDIQGVC2MMQc-fcgWIcqO8Lmc8Qy1hidYX07QEsm4fqqnBI9AcGp0PB5QydTIO8EthltT6HNfA4offafsFe0oX/s2360/LIBRARY.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1302" data-original-width="2360" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWeGuPOQAg5VS2b78eb_t1mkCUcFRx57s1rRMWu0Snbc2XJnAH5ghGP0OaGlmwtXJfDFkpwZOLWC2ksoq8pHeMaKuL92FHIpBdULzCd9gDIQGVC2MMQc-fcgWIcqO8Lmc8Qy1hidYX07QEsm4fqqnBI9AcGp0PB5QydTIO8EthltT6HNfA4offafsFe0oX/w400-h221/LIBRARY.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The classmates continue to read their own magic books, which now call Simon Simon instead of Ryan Plogo.</div><div><br /></div><div>In a comedic sequence clearly inspired by the oeuvre of Bud Abbott and Lou Costello, the two detectives investigating the kindergartener’s death break into Dr. Crazx’s apartment, forcing Simon and the classmates to hide in various locations, including what used to be called a “mummy case” complete with a mummy. The detectives, hearing someone else at the door, hide themselves, eventually crawling on all fours and bumping head-first into each other.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSJfvi8cIOVvQ7cg8eiKAeJeP5Vb8viELZVlertkwD1AGKPk2hvoZstyupKy-KR8N9AImU4IauFXy0TsGKZmXWHqI1iNbDU0KLYcd7BjbSm8PVrXYRIXoMbua44d49TzJquQf3meElefLMocHOdZJl82NNClAv5NDE78PpsBUkxRCxrhjNvpmAWG03eUJn/s2360/MUMMY%20CASE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1298" data-original-width="2360" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSJfvi8cIOVvQ7cg8eiKAeJeP5Vb8viELZVlertkwD1AGKPk2hvoZstyupKy-KR8N9AImU4IauFXy0TsGKZmXWHqI1iNbDU0KLYcd7BjbSm8PVrXYRIXoMbua44d49TzJquQf3meElefLMocHOdZJl82NNClAv5NDE78PpsBUkxRCxrhjNvpmAWG03eUJn/w400-h220/MUMMY%20CASE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Dr. Crazx enters his apartment and runs straight to the library room, looking through his own published volumes for something, but not finding it. He sees one of Simon’s books in the room and opens it reluctantly, explaining himself to himself before doing so: “Psychology is infantile child’s play for me. I won the Pulitzer Prize for my genius knowledge of how man’s moronic mind works. Only a complete imbecilic retard would try to use psychology on me. It can only backfire.” Still, when he opens the book, he opens the book and, bizarrely, spits a chunk of chocolate into the air so it falls on a random page, which describes a confrontation on the roof between Simon and Dr. Crazx. The film cuts to this self-same scene.</div><div><br /></div><div>In their confrontation, Simon accuses Dr. Crazx, whom he’s known since they were both children, of killing Simon’s wife. Also, Dr. Crazx mentions they have both come to the conclusion that the divine (known as “God” or “the Force”) doesn’t exist. Dr. Crazx pulls out both a gun and a sword as he pulls a switch that drops a concrete plank leading out over the dark city. “Now start believing you’re a bird,” Dr. Crazx says. “Flap those wings, for you’re about to leap into the great void.” He forces Simon to walk the plank on top of the apartment building.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvu9MuPtOIiA6iQF7qmc5S6IbP0tbmM2d4yNuMotCNjCzOmazqYSddCMFQLesR9Jh-3V-wNdM3SXTfBicoX2rChkdgOsAsQwyDU2mRL-w4EkaUb2HOu_Q6cYdT9DfrHd-dlKeMtoqlyNYIKINUeTaKlQ6E-UfmOEBNQH_LZD-QFK80rZ-rTQyS-KPC32qe/s2360/WALKING%20THE%20PLANK.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1318" data-original-width="2360" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvu9MuPtOIiA6iQF7qmc5S6IbP0tbmM2d4yNuMotCNjCzOmazqYSddCMFQLesR9Jh-3V-wNdM3SXTfBicoX2rChkdgOsAsQwyDU2mRL-w4EkaUb2HOu_Q6cYdT9DfrHd-dlKeMtoqlyNYIKINUeTaKlQ6E-UfmOEBNQH_LZD-QFK80rZ-rTQyS-KPC32qe/w400-h224/WALKING%20THE%20PLANK.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>As Simon walks the plank, Dr. Crazx confesses that he killed the kindergartener. “It was a perfect crime to incriminate and get rid of you!”</div><div><br /></div><div>Simon falls off the building. He descends in slow-motion.</div><div><br /></div><div>The film cuts back to Dr. Crazx reading the book. Unfortunately for him, his chocolate has obscured what happens next.</div><div><br /></div><div>Simon and the classmates escape the apartment and, for unknown reasons, steal the moving van, which presumably still contains the plastic explosives. (One might expect the van and explosives to play a role in the film's climax, but one would be mistaken, as neither is seen or mentioned again.) In his apartment, Dr. Crazx retrieves a handgun (hidden, it must be noted, underneath a sculpture’s phallic protrusion, which the evil doctor fondles for several minutes) and gives chase, while the detectives remain hiding in the apartment.</div><div><br /></div><div>In perhaps the film’s most bizarre sequence, Simon interrupts Dean Elkwood as she showers in an unusual waterfall-equipped bathroom located in a large suburban house.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_w-lfXimPAsEg_F8SdsgbtPhD22YFKTpD9BrfijRyUsw6eJdNEpqwUE-jBxOVdFRGmJC6ZOc7EbMohZIcC8_Y-FFywxoSugQUn66txq1EiN0bRYaNzeB0CQHvtIKJxzSZAd5EOv2rPFeEm1JqKsTkyLXP1cik-MGuFKmL3z-sXDuoTb_DDZpFYnwviu5I/s2360/WEIRD%20SHOWER.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1284" data-original-width="2360" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_w-lfXimPAsEg_F8SdsgbtPhD22YFKTpD9BrfijRyUsw6eJdNEpqwUE-jBxOVdFRGmJC6ZOc7EbMohZIcC8_Y-FFywxoSugQUn66txq1EiN0bRYaNzeB0CQHvtIKJxzSZAd5EOv2rPFeEm1JqKsTkyLXP1cik-MGuFKmL3z-sXDuoTb_DDZpFYnwviu5I/w400-h217/WEIRD%20SHOWER.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>When Simon touches her nude shoulder, Dean Elkwood says eloquently, “I would think this a rather abrupt, brazen try at conciliation.”</div><div><br /></div><div>She drags him into the shower and kisses him. “I am so wet,” she says suggestively.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Now we both are,” he says awkwardly.</div><div><br /></div><div>They have sex in the shower, though Simon keeps his jeans on. Fortunately, the sex scene is observed by the young man who questions his own sexuality, and his enjoyment of voyeurism gives him the answer: he is heterosexual.</div><div><br /></div><div>Of course, Dr. Crazx breaks into the shower room at gunpoint, forcing Simon to take off his clothes (he is, thankfully, clothed in the next shot) and running away with the nude Dean Elkwood.</div><div><br /></div><div>Instead of chasing the villain, Simon and the classmates return to their college classroom. Platehead realizes his gambling addiction is the result of his believing he had bad luck due to cracking his head when falling out of the ambulance he drove, so he buys lottery tickets for his classmates. Now Rebel is the only classmate who has not been cured. However, Rebel is not in the classroom and nobody knows where he is. Also, all the pages in the magic books are magically blank. Simon explains that they have all found their paths and are healed and happy. The classmates all demonstrate that they have solved their problems by, for example, throwing alcohol out the window and kissing girls, even though we have already seen that their problems were solved.</div><div><br /></div><div>Further, Simon explains that he believes the classmates hallucinated the whole story because they were able to solve their own problems from within.</div><div><br /></div><div>The film then takes about ten minutes to explain the group’s questions about how some classmates were able to read parts of the book pertaining to other classmates, a seeming inconsistency in the story. In short, they subconsciously knew each other’s stories somehow.</div><div><br /></div><div>Although almost none of the story actually took place, one of the classmates looks out the window and sees Dr. Crazx and the police arriving at the school. The officers reach Simon’s classroom and begin to arrest him, but they are interrupted by the two detectives, who bring with them an esteemed citizen of the city who witnessed Dr. Crazx throwing the kindergartener off her apartment building.</div><div><br /></div><div>“How could you know it was me on the roof?” Dr. Crazx asks in a reveal worthy of an episode of a forgotten Hanna-Barbera cartoon from the 1970s. “I was wearing a dark raincoat and shades.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The police take him away. Dean Elkwood kisses Simon. The only story left to wrap up is that of Rebel. In a startling coincidence, the esteemed citizen of the city who witnessed the murder of the small child turns out to be Rebel’s wealthy father.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the end, Simon finds a handwritten note in one of his books that gives him instructions for his next class, which is simply to give them a hypnotic suggestion and everything will work out. The note is signed “Signed: Friend.”</div><div><br /></div><div>In a curious coda, we see Rebel, known again as Roberto, as he volunteers at a hospital. In voiceover, he explains his thoughts: “As if awakening from a very realistic dream, I was left with that groggy hangover one gets when awoken. It was clouding my mind as to what was real and what was imagined.” He goes into a hospital room with his mother, the nurse who recruited Simon in the beginning, as his mother comforts a grieving woman. “At first you pretend, and then it becomes real. Pretend you’re as light as a bird.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The woman floats off her bed like the kids in the kindergarten classroom.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg94sAqImosnmY6Aag829D9_zl2l94jabuIC3pa7Fq1TYWUWXlq7oZwiT8ohb3JD2iWxeSOs4nJ17lFIa-_PcXX0osJdXbpZP3PF3NB1hlG4zrqKMF9gTOHghf5pdE6wwXs5GKlG6hP1nwxvoyUHyQ3raFL2As4LdHpp18NHoSV0lDAEu2RcBPi1mOjZk4w/s2360/WOMAN%20FLOATING.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1287" data-original-width="2360" height="219" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg94sAqImosnmY6Aag829D9_zl2l94jabuIC3pa7Fq1TYWUWXlq7oZwiT8ohb3JD2iWxeSOs4nJ17lFIa-_PcXX0osJdXbpZP3PF3NB1hlG4zrqKMF9gTOHghf5pdE6wwXs5GKlG6hP1nwxvoyUHyQ3raFL2As4LdHpp18NHoSV0lDAEu2RcBPi1mOjZk4w/w400-h219/WOMAN%20FLOATING.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Plus, all the lottery tickets were winners.</div><div><br /></div><div>And Dr. Crazx writes a novel about Simon called “Prophet without a God.”</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">The End </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><hr /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Mr. Stuart Paul should be commended for writing, directing, and starring in Deadly Lessons and proving that even a world with no gods needs messiahs. The film's complex themes can all be boiled down to one point: Fathers are the cause of all mental illness. Furthermore, all mental illness can be cured with the help of a support group and a quick flashback.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">In reviewing Deadly Lessons, of course, one must point to Mr. Paul's own performance as Simon Conjurer, a taciturn father-figure who personifies the idea of "tough love." But one must also mention the wildly grandiose performance of the great Jon Voight as Dr. Crazx, perhaps the most unhinged performance of Mr. Voight's storied career. The performance cannot be described, so I must urge you to witness it for yourself. Suffice it to say that Mr. Voight could have and should have played every villain in Batman's rogue's gallery, particularly the Penguin -- and in fact one might say he does so simultaneously during his every scene in Deadly Lessons. The cinematic gods, though they do not exist, must tip their hats to Mr. Voight for his astonishing performance in this film. The rest of us must do the same. (And we must never, ever ask how much money Mr. Paul paid Mr. Voight to appear in this film. That would be gauche.)</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>Doctor Pseudonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07584099620426375486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-909065385728154804.post-28569561819687270952023-10-23T04:00:00.109-07:002023-10-23T04:00:00.161-07:00"Your Head's Off Screwing the I.500" - Crosstalk (1982)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRX9IL67FXCLqX4BQ6Hf8q2ViNhc40ZVC0P7zbWgzJZBJUrHSQwb69YZdsBbcDFm1Yv-6LjcjoIZf_NGt6DjW_sSi9QV_EyVP-sl5rBQG6hIO8zjKRDDNLE_LWd6sM35-0JylU2GJEHJ_oY957eCaWq95z6QGVeVQAdDbab7YMnfP9l4Pyrye4-aOCi4aR/s1234/Crosstalk%20Title.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="1234" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRX9IL67FXCLqX4BQ6Hf8q2ViNhc40ZVC0P7zbWgzJZBJUrHSQwb69YZdsBbcDFm1Yv-6LjcjoIZf_NGt6DjW_sSi9QV_EyVP-sl5rBQG6hIO8zjKRDDNLE_LWd6sM35-0JylU2GJEHJ_oY957eCaWq95z6QGVeVQAdDbab7YMnfP9l4Pyrye4-aOCi4aR/w640-h208/Crosstalk%20Title.png" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: left;">Let us now voyage to the island/continent/country known as Australia to investigate 1982's Crosstalk, an early computer thriller warning us about the dangers of computerized apartments. Directed by Mark Egerton (assistant director on 12 Monkeys) and Keith Salvat (not assistant director on 12 Monkeys), Crosstalk is an update of Rear Window for the early 1980s, in which the rear window is not a window at all but a computer monitor.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Some of your universe's critics fail to appreciate the visionary Crosstalk. For example, reviewer Jacob Knight <a href="https://letterboxd.com/jacobknight/film/crosstalk/" target="_blank">writes</a>, "Sadly, this...just sort of put-puts [i.e., putt-putts] along until an ambiguous anticlimax that suddenly makes it’s barely 80-minute runtime seem like an interminable waste in hindsight." Reviewer unclenugget <a href="https://letterboxd.com/unclenugget/film/crosstalk/" target="_blank">writes</a>, "This was pretty dull." And reviewer ItsLV <a href="https://letterboxd.com/itslv/film/crosstalk/" target="_blank">calls</a> the film an "Ozploitation snoozefest."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Read on for the truth about Crosstalk...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div><span><a name='more'></a></span>Like all Australian films, I must assume, Crosstalk’s first line of dialogue is “G’day,” said in the middle of the night by a woman to her computer programmer boyfriend as he arrives home after unsuccessfully attempting to debug a computer program. “He wants the I.500 yesterday and I need another month,” the man explains about his boss, Mr. Whitehead. The couple shares a drink and goes to bed.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the morning, the coffee maker in the kitchen blinks on and a radio turns on by itself, indicating the couple lives in what would be called a “smart home” in the twenty-first century.</div><div><br /></div><div>After waking up, the programmer, Ed, goes for a jog in the forest, a stark contrast to the blue-tinged, high-tech equipment in the house. As his girlfriend Cindy makes breakfast using dozens of machines (some malfunctioning), Ed hooks himself up to a computer to measure his vital signs. </div><div><br /></div><div>Complaining about the malfunctions running breakfast, Cindy says over a video intercom, “God, I knew it was a mistake allowing this…thing…in here.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“I didn’t notice you complaining when it was lightening the workload,” Ed responds smoothly.</div><div><br /></div><div>Cindy explains the situation eloquently: “You have lived and breathed those machines of yours to the detriment of everything else, including me! Even when we make love, I feel like I’ve just got your body and that’s all. Your head’s off screwing the I.500!”</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, Ed embraces Cindy as if nothing is wrong before he heads to work. Unfortunately, there appears to be some kind of malfunction in his computerized car—the brakes don’t work! Ed crashes into some trees.</div><div><br /></div><div>The filmmakers cut to Ed’s hospital bed, where he is hooked up to beeping machines and watched over by a worried Cindy.</div><div><br /></div><div>Elsewhere, Mr. Whitehead flies in a helicopter to his downtown office to complain to George Hollister, Ed’s elderly partner and financier, about how inconvenient Ed’s accident is. “If we can’t deliver the I.500 at the latest by the end of this month,” Whitehead says, “we’ll be in serious trouble. And you’ll be facing the end of a very long career in electronics with nothing to show for it. It’d be better off if he died.”</div><div><br /></div><div>In a scene perhaps intended to be comedic, Whitehead meets Ed at the hospital’s therapeutic swimming pool. While Ed treads water, Whitehead maneuvers a new electronic wheelchair around the pool, explaining to Ed that they are putting Ed up in a high-tech, high-rise apartment to complete work on the I.500. (There is no mention of Ed’s cabin in the forest, and no indication of why they are moving him as well as the I.500, which appears to be the size of several rooms.)</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbfhCZIO6jUtSn4ijlMhxoJ26MI1RRHlt2kNXIPwAP9RPE1eiiSHiHLXmOVBqtYIThjxua6YbcyusTY9hKnYbhIf3j3mNMZ6oTPbF20dNt9ZDkxgK5HGMyp5OkW2nE_PufFCbwQ4p3OBgIlfT7jJVvhlnSaAiWLoSQb2eOpZJts9vsF-xhZt4Ga161NJTJ/s2360/WHEELCHAIR%20BY%20POOL.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1528" data-original-width="2360" height="259" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbfhCZIO6jUtSn4ijlMhxoJ26MI1RRHlt2kNXIPwAP9RPE1eiiSHiHLXmOVBqtYIThjxua6YbcyusTY9hKnYbhIf3j3mNMZ6oTPbF20dNt9ZDkxgK5HGMyp5OkW2nE_PufFCbwQ4p3OBgIlfT7jJVvhlnSaAiWLoSQb2eOpZJts9vsF-xhZt4Ga161NJTJ/w400-h259/WHEELCHAIR%20BY%20POOL.png" width="400" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>In the massive apartment, George sets up the massive I.500 and its many, many video monitors.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM3l8E1Qk2q4_uf2WEhSlYQT3-7wvVJPrXZafBpMQh1RDX_iSWLWa3tdUmgkSFPgBfk90LKAqvG90IzcHcYiyr7d4t9Ld6dqURoXPquJ9rtQu5V5WoWG6Bw83vOpXQJjBcBxmcenCx11dgZFumKtgD-VHnL6jJcVRQHOlWdjbt-FXUIwCz8UnmMWEvKHAa/s2360/I.500%20MONITORS.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1570" data-original-width="2360" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM3l8E1Qk2q4_uf2WEhSlYQT3-7wvVJPrXZafBpMQh1RDX_iSWLWa3tdUmgkSFPgBfk90LKAqvG90IzcHcYiyr7d4t9Ld6dqURoXPquJ9rtQu5V5WoWG6Bw83vOpXQJjBcBxmcenCx11dgZFumKtgD-VHnL6jJcVRQHOlWdjbt-FXUIwCz8UnmMWEvKHAa/w400-h266/I.500%20MONITORS.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Ed, now quite bitter, sends George away. He is alone with his new nurse, Jane, who asks if he would like a pain killer.</div><div><br /></div><div>“No,” Ed says, presumably making a joke. “He’s just a bore, that’s all.” (If I might explain the joke, I believe Ed is implying that Jane’s term “pain killer” was referring not to an analgesic but to murdering George, whom Ed sees as not a pain but a bore.)</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, Ed acts grumpily on the massive balcony of his high-tech apartment overlooking Sydney Harbor (a view shared by all Australian apartments, I must assume). </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcqCaFCkFkeq3MHxJ-oEDx9gG2cfgdBX0YTVGx1xqSxCXG5tYqTfEk2JROLYfD4IgAxJvEFYokGKcZlyCXZlmEtemUD-lTKFyiamAA0l3hBk2S-OThtDzgMGKXmsQb_MlEnHzw1TneOJhxs6PVHoHNM_WEFVEjDf_VQNnsjNje4ADpBSsdZfGA1_aSh5tX/s2224/SYDNEY%20HARBOR%20VIEW.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1487" data-original-width="2224" height="268" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcqCaFCkFkeq3MHxJ-oEDx9gG2cfgdBX0YTVGx1xqSxCXG5tYqTfEk2JROLYfD4IgAxJvEFYokGKcZlyCXZlmEtemUD-lTKFyiamAA0l3hBk2S-OThtDzgMGKXmsQb_MlEnHzw1TneOJhxs6PVHoHNM_WEFVEjDf_VQNnsjNje4ADpBSsdZfGA1_aSh5tX/w400-h268/SYDNEY%20HARBOR%20VIEW.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>In an interesting plot complication, on the elevator, Ed meets his upstairs neighbors Ann and David. Seconds after their meeting, David slams Ann’s hand in their car door while he threatens her and growls, “You’ve served your purpose. It’s time to move on. I want this mess that we mistakenly call marriage cleaned up now. I want you out of my business affairs. I want you out of my life!”</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, as Ed undergoes physical therapy in the pool, an unseen person or thing attempts to murder him by lowering his paralyzed body under the water. Jane the nurse rescues him at the last second, and he ascribes it to a simple equipment malfunction. The camera, however, seems to have other ideas, as it pans over to the I.500’s tape drive spinning and holds on the shot for several seconds.</div><div><br /></div><div>At night, the I.500 taps into the building’s security cameras and observes a fight between David and Ann where he slaps her. The computer also observes Cindy and Ed kissing, before which Ed tells Cindy colorfully he’s had “a prick of a day.” </div><div><br /></div><div>Suspensefully, we watch Ed and Cindy sleeping while a segment of the I.500 moves across the apartment as an independent robot.</div><div><br /></div><div>The next morning, Ed wheels himself in front of the I.500 main console, where a pie chart (somehow) indicates a malfunction is occurring.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8hlCWvcA953z0cBYXRIaCtxroiF4eUTD7vHToh-LGBNRU2qGyzoo_TK8CRmwDXJDAMs8IITfiAHbO8T5Rhin_Hb9I3X7HZ1c6t1v63wFgqR8GUj6_yZMX_rirkalK4Ihn50x_KxC1P8VvSMLUm4zQiQohkTfldUAARZL5gAGktr7c9W2fdaPvCb6SoWzG/s2224/PIE%20CHART.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1512" data-original-width="2224" height="272" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8hlCWvcA953z0cBYXRIaCtxroiF4eUTD7vHToh-LGBNRU2qGyzoo_TK8CRmwDXJDAMs8IITfiAHbO8T5Rhin_Hb9I3X7HZ1c6t1v63wFgqR8GUj6_yZMX_rirkalK4Ihn50x_KxC1P8VvSMLUm4zQiQohkTfldUAARZL5gAGktr7c9W2fdaPvCb6SoWzG/w400-h272/PIE%20CHART.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Ed punches keys furiously, attempting to figure out how to investigate this malfunction, but he has no success. He calls George on the phone and complains, “It’s not flashing now.” George says he will visit Ed after work to check on the machine. Minutes later, the malfunction appears to manifest in the kitchen as the garbage disposal in the sink squirts tomato paste into Jane’s face.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwg6nhaAqd5I7d_qzhRFCVt4AfzxEDqitiH2pAzo3sOCWJFqg1rkk3QL6689nDXeaT-1NHz7KhpDie8Jj_OfTlSM0rub5A0aitPswFgigjXLJkX8jN8Y8tVuqkcBy8n5cTvx7HwxNGn65eJ5PksmRboTXY7hGZcHDu7RE5jPwfo1eiY92YFIKBAliLoQRi/s2224/TOMATO%20PASTE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1476" data-original-width="2224" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwg6nhaAqd5I7d_qzhRFCVt4AfzxEDqitiH2pAzo3sOCWJFqg1rkk3QL6689nDXeaT-1NHz7KhpDie8Jj_OfTlSM0rub5A0aitPswFgigjXLJkX8jN8Y8tVuqkcBy8n5cTvx7HwxNGn65eJ5PksmRboTXY7hGZcHDu7RE5jPwfo1eiY92YFIKBAliLoQRi/w400-h265/TOMATO%20PASTE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, George conspires with Whitehead over the phone, calling Ed disposable (perhaps a witty reference to the garbage disposal) and saying they will soon gain control of the I.500. Whitehead says eloquently, “I don’t like loose ends. They have a way of forming themselves into a noose.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The film enters spicier territory when Ed and Jane watch the I.500’s monitor observing a woman in a nearby window undress and climb into bed carrying a whip. Neither the audience nor the artificial intelligence, however, observe what happens next.</div><div><br /></div><div>In a suspenseful sequence, Ed wheels into the kitchen to investigate the garbage disposal incident. He reaches into the disposal…but nothing happens. He returns to the I.500 console in the next room, but then wheels back to the kitchen to stare at the garbage disposal…and nothing happens again.</div><div><br /></div><div>When George arrives at the apartment, Ed tells him they need to pull the I.500 off the market until Ed can discover why it is malfunctioning. George refuses and offers to make them drinks. He uses an eye dropper to put something into Ed’s drink, but before Ed drinks it, he has a realization—some kind of malfunction about the garbage disposal is the result of the disposal being empty. He jams a lamb chop into the disposal.</div><div><br /></div><div>“What are you doing?” George asks.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Reenacting a murder,” Ed says. “I’ll explain in a minute, George.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Ed returns to the I.500 console and explains that he has “witnessed” a murder through the audio the I.500 has recorded: the sound of music, then a body hitting the floor, then a saw, then a garbage disposal. Ed and Cindy usher George out of the apartment, though the glass of poisoned alcohol is still sitting in the apartment.</div><div><br /></div><div>Ed tells Cindy, “Look, everybody keeps on telling me to relax. I think that man upstairs has murdered his wife, chopped her up, and put her down the garbage disposal.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“That’s nonsense. I really think you’re being daft!”</div><div><br /></div><div>Then Ed sees on the monitor his suspected murderer and murder victim in the parking garage getting into their car. </div><div><br /></div><div>The filmmakers follow George to a pay phone, where he wants more money for working on the I.500 because, apparently, of its deductive abilities. Shockingly, however, George is murdered in the phone booth—by the same couple that Ed suspected of murdering each other!</div><div><br /></div><div>Back at the apartment, Ed explains to Cindy that he believes there really was a murder. The old man murdered his wife and is now “using his mistress as a double.” </div><div><br /></div><div>“Darling, that machine can’t think,” Cindy says. “If I didn’t know you better, I’d say you had Boffin’s Disease.” (I must confess I have no idea what Boffin’s Disease is.)</div><div><br /></div><div>“Maybe. It’s just that all the pieces fit.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“No, they don’t!” Cindy replies accurately.</div><div><br /></div><div>At night, when Ed is sleeping, Cindy calls Ed’s doctor and tells him Ed is hallucinating. As she speaks on the phone, the I.500’s red light/eye glows, but Cindy does not notice. She returns to bed.</div><div><br /></div><div>The next day, when Ed and his nurse are alone, he tells her he plans to go to the suspected murderer’s apartment. “Hang on, Ed,” she says. “I’ll go up. You’ll take forever in your Rolls Royce.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Ed, perhaps unwisely, gives her a listening device to attach to the man’s phone and allows her to break into the man’s apartment—Ed is able to unlock the front door using the I.500. She investigates the apartment and bugs the phone, but shockingly Ed sees the old man’s car in the parking garage, watching the I.500 monitor. Startled by seeing the car (presumably), Ed slips out of his wheelchair, so he is unable to warn his nurse in time. She hides in the laundry room. In one of the film’s best shots, the lights come on suddenly, revealing to the audience but not the nurse that there is a head in the dryer!</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiVXdJT-XlUy2iAzsPWCpO1o1K12eKB_OLQUZZ8F5U7alBowgU8eciJ1vjT2bqKws3RgzkF8JqyOr7bQfwpgjDcMd01Y_XlhZclPqwercuvrJJE-Fz4hUsO0gioXK-nhpjA56qlueX190y86ISAXnTK6byY7pa1ARLY0yN41IPUromlLfmpZF33g3ey529/s2224/HEAD%20IN%20DRYER.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1459" data-original-width="2224" height="263" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiVXdJT-XlUy2iAzsPWCpO1o1K12eKB_OLQUZZ8F5U7alBowgU8eciJ1vjT2bqKws3RgzkF8JqyOr7bQfwpgjDcMd01Y_XlhZclPqwercuvrJJE-Fz4hUsO0gioXK-nhpjA56qlueX190y86ISAXnTK6byY7pa1ARLY0yN41IPUromlLfmpZF33g3ey529/w400-h263/HEAD%20IN%20DRYER.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Thus begins a game of cat and mouse in the man’s apartment, as the nurse hides and Ed attempts to crawl upstairs to rescue her, his electronic wheelchair unfortunately disabled.</div><div><br /></div><div>Fortunately, everything ends without any real danger, as the nurse makes her way back to Ed’s apartment at the same time as Cindy. Cindy scolds the two of them: “Serves you both right for playing amateur detectives. I mean, what would have happened if you had found something? Bloody stupid thing to do. Imagine explaining to a murderer that you’re in his apartment looking for a body.” She adds, “Ed, don’t look so down. Tomorrow we can watch a thriller, and you can tell me who the murderer is in the first five minutes, okay?”</div><div><br /></div><div>Cindy is ironically unaware that the killer is upstairs, depositing the severed head in a bag and fondling a hypodermic needle.</div><div><br /></div><div>Unfortunately for the nurse as she exits Ed’s apartment, the murderer is in the elevator when she leaves the building. In another gruesome, even giallo-esque shot, she sees an eyeball in the killer’s paper bag.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxfW6uVAQpPTDMCC7c-yItY6QO9EXfi0kmEh-2l_uIN5L0_dW5eB1V0gIJCBsDRA4hEsHkz5gEwS0UotkckD3DKDpI-tSDGWU_SzxIRtWLxJHlEG9JrgkmHtDd2JPgznRDfNQBVVjDaGrugsp6WEbwYvAF3PZ_62NH-8oV27PaDtmpspnWBwhOLJj3mrAU/s2224/HEAD%20IN%20BAG.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1443" data-original-width="2224" height="260" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxfW6uVAQpPTDMCC7c-yItY6QO9EXfi0kmEh-2l_uIN5L0_dW5eB1V0gIJCBsDRA4hEsHkz5gEwS0UotkckD3DKDpI-tSDGWU_SzxIRtWLxJHlEG9JrgkmHtDd2JPgznRDfNQBVVjDaGrugsp6WEbwYvAF3PZ_62NH-8oV27PaDtmpspnWBwhOLJj3mrAU/w400-h260/HEAD%20IN%20BAG.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The nurse screams in the elevator.</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, Cindy sits alone in the living room when the I.500 plays a recording of the phone conversation in which Whitehead obliquely instructs George to get rid of Ed to stop development on the I.500. Suspicious, she wanders the apartment, where the I.500 shows her video of the murderer and his mistress. Unfortunately, she doesn’t put the pieces together, as the murderer is already in the apartment. He knocks her unconscious.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the thrilling climax, the murderer approaches Ed’s bed while brandishing the hypodermic needle. However, the man is suddenly shot by Whitehead, who is suddenly in the apartment. “We don’t want anything to interfere with the I.600, do we, Ed?”</div><div><br /></div><div>In a final, unexplained twist, the I.500 glares with its red eye at Whitehead, who falls down dead.</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Also, for some reason, Cindy lies on the floor, sucking her finger.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><hr /><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Crosstalk is a clever integration of Alfred Hitchcock's Rear Window (1954) with the room-sized computer thriller typified by Donald Cammell's Demon Seed (1977) (not to be confused with <a href="https://www.senselesscinema.com/2016/11/our-direct-link-tothe-supernatural.html">Demon Seed</a>) and Joseph Sargent's Colossus: The Forbin Project (1970). Much of the film is shot from the point of view of the I.500 as it pans across empty horizons and zooms in on nearby apartment balconies. As Ed becomes more and more paranoid, the soundtrack fills with machine clicks and blips. Perhaps the only negative aspect of the film is the fact that nothing much happens throughout its runtime until the end, when the hero with a disability is saved almost arbitrarily by the capitalist villain, who dies inexplicably seconds later. Of course, this is a bold move story-wise, but viewers not ready for such a complex, visionary ending might perceive incorrectly that the narrative and its ending are a bit slapdash. Those of us who are true cinephiles, however, will understand the true meaning of the ending...that even capitalism is no match for a computer the size of a room that can blink red lights at its victims. Such a lesson is even more timely in 2023 than it was in 1982...or is it? I can only assume the answer is yes..yes, it is.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>Doctor Pseudonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07584099620426375486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-909065385728154804.post-7762987304356282662023-10-09T04:00:00.111-07:002023-10-09T04:00:00.142-07:00“Stories of Aztec Princes, Voodoo Rites, the Living Dead” - Crypt of Dark Secrets (1976)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh395qInX0WSZ5MS6Z1Dz8QJYOaO9IoeMCvSjdkRaZs2dAS_oaE7nzo80NEZnn6Nauaxvu9k_NUVJ5stZWQSKu49rqDGBDvZx21LGyDq4HWKw1LEpMRvgMsak6k9zJHYHuEWEvYwZiux3uphynNPIUkTKpdE6xJ43MINPgacKZ-esM261UyNVTzgGpArerD/s1542/Crypt%20of%20Dark%20Secrets%20Title.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="398" data-original-width="1542" height="166" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh395qInX0WSZ5MS6Z1Dz8QJYOaO9IoeMCvSjdkRaZs2dAS_oaE7nzo80NEZnn6Nauaxvu9k_NUVJ5stZWQSKu49rqDGBDvZx21LGyDq4HWKw1LEpMRvgMsak6k9zJHYHuEWEvYwZiux3uphynNPIUkTKpdE6xJ43MINPgacKZ-esM261UyNVTzgGpArerD/w640-h166/Crypt%20of%20Dark%20Secrets%20Title.png" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;">It is time to investigate Crypt of Dark Secrets (1976), a Louisiana-set film directed by Jack Weis, producer of the great <a href="https://www.senselesscinema.com/2023/01/mardi-gras-massacre.html" target="">Mardi Gras Massacre</a> (1978) and director of the erotic crime film Death Brings Roses (1975). Crypt of Dark Secrets does not, unfortunately, feature any crypts, but it does feature bayous, snakes, blood money, and voodoo dolls.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Some of your universe's critics are critical of Crypt of Dark Secrets. For example, reviewer Stefano Monteforte <a href="https://letterboxd.com/mont40/film/crypt-of-dark-secrets/" target="_blank">writes</a>, "Nearly everything about this regional drive-in dreck...is putrid." And reviewer Lou <a href="https://letterboxd.com/outloa/film/crypt-of-dark-secrets/" target="_blank">writes</a>, "There are many drawn out scenes that are just padding for runtime." And reviewer P3n-E-W1s3 <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw6764903/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "Crypt is one hell of a stinky film and if you ever smell its stench, run as far away as possible. Do Not Watch this garbage."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Read on for the truth about Crypt of Dark Secrets...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div><span><a name='more'></a></span>In a forest, a dark-haired woman performs a ritual in front of a flaming brazier and an arcane symbol on the ground.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWD5qpmDgAK8QUByuvdTzkg5INLuqsbLTF1XsUB275qZ2IDu2zQvyIR33AC3WMLqRCaZKp_mBLJfUBf8Ow_CPc-8taUPgljzLlKfLPK5c2KR8tV4zI2wGsNoDO8Du5aDAs1J-92ZreuBnmf6N8hITZ69JWyedtxbkhb52XS_QH7lqskYYFqnp8hFVbLdo_/s2360/RITUAL.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1242" data-original-width="2360" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWD5qpmDgAK8QUByuvdTzkg5INLuqsbLTF1XsUB275qZ2IDu2zQvyIR33AC3WMLqRCaZKp_mBLJfUBf8Ow_CPc-8taUPgljzLlKfLPK5c2KR8tV4zI2wGsNoDO8Du5aDAs1J-92ZreuBnmf6N8hITZ69JWyedtxbkhb52XS_QH7lqskYYFqnp8hFVbLdo_/w400-h210/RITUAL.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Eventually, the woman displays magical powers as she levitates over the scene.</div><div><br /></div><div>The film cuts to a living room, where the local sheriff discusses folklore with a man named Charlie (played by Donn Davison, producer of such classics as 1967's She Freak and 1975's Blood Beast of Monster Mountain). “You know that legend you asked me about has been told in these parts for probably a hundred years or more, about the woman who lives in a lake and turns into a snake. Never thought much about it. We got maybe five or six thousand books in our library. You told me to look so I did, and I had to go through damn near every one of them. But I found it. There’s a legend of a girl called Damballa. She turns into a snake.” He adds, “It’s very interesting. And there are pictures.”</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkh5_kytiWUwB0lDR_ZykT1O0O3UBIsGf8vCQbdK4MZctex_QvmLIPEyKYqHhlm0wZzi5X7u1G0_vW1lmAMn_RvWj6-rYpjlwhYB2m49xtCK9rWW4mlJbvvsFJB3RY-RcrdwvCKIP5_RqCSEAQVcFB0yk9hNJf3AiZUBJZsx_MWRzbzZBoBTzftjinyzK3/s2360/BOOK%20ILLUSTRATION.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1261" data-original-width="2360" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkh5_kytiWUwB0lDR_ZykT1O0O3UBIsGf8vCQbdK4MZctex_QvmLIPEyKYqHhlm0wZzi5X7u1G0_vW1lmAMn_RvWj6-rYpjlwhYB2m49xtCK9rWW4mlJbvvsFJB3RY-RcrdwvCKIP5_RqCSEAQVcFB0yk9hNJf3AiZUBJZsx_MWRzbzZBoBTzftjinyzK3/w400-h214/BOOK%20ILLUSTRATION.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Charlie tells the sheriff he doesn’t know if he believes the legend is true. “The reason I don’t know,” Charlie explains eloquently, “is that there’s two reasons people write books. One of them is to kind of tell a story and entertain people. And the other one’s to record history. I don’t know which one they did in this case.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The sheriff looks on thoughtfully; clearly, Charlie’s profound words have deeply touched him.</div><div><br /></div><div>The sheriff and his underling, Sgt. Buck, take a small motorboat through the Louisiana bayou to find the island where the Damballa story reportedly occurred (an island named, appropriately, Haunted Island), due to the fact that a young man is now living on the only house on the island. The sheriff regales Sgt. Buck with his own story about growing up in the swamp with his father and hearing stories about people trying to live in the house (their motivations are never explained). “The longest one of them stayed was one night. And they’d come back with stories of Aztec princes, voodoo rites, the living dead. Everything imaginable.” He further explains that the young man currently living on the island was discharged from the Army with a pension and has stayed on the island for a whole month.</div><div><br /></div><div>They arrive at a dock to find the man, retired Army ranger colonel Ted Watkins, who wears cutoff denim shorts, sitting in front of the house. “We just happened to be in the neighborhood and thought we’d stop by and give you a welcome,” the sheriff says jokingly. Meanwhile, a snake swims through the swamp, recalling Damballa and the story that she is a snake entity that transports people from the land of the living to the land of the dead.</div><div><br /></div><div>Over beer and coffee, Ted immediately tells the officers that he has seen a dark-haired woman swimming in the water. Then the sheriff tells Ted to be careful about his pension money, which he assumes is kept in the cabin because Ted has no account with the local bank. Ted says he’s not worried about his money.</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, Ted wanders the island and sees Damballa, who is also wandering the island but who changes into a snake in a puff of fog.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtzyFLLE5_DDJyd4EHQ8PT1pLfWVxM7KDyJ4gWqtonaKZUEtO8nmZQ_LKP16byXZDj85Bn6UT2CdDbJPJxtD87b0bGonhZlm0yz5zK7kcZlpt5CA1dF7UNmQ5mRrU1g4jmMj_Aw0uIDMv92IPWG0sG5KbNIxtRhB-vj3c1TB1-jBGYHNNsgbYu6W4yCjTV/s2360/DAMBALLA.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1250" data-original-width="2360" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtzyFLLE5_DDJyd4EHQ8PT1pLfWVxM7KDyJ4gWqtonaKZUEtO8nmZQ_LKP16byXZDj85Bn6UT2CdDbJPJxtD87b0bGonhZlm0yz5zK7kcZlpt5CA1dF7UNmQ5mRrU1g4jmMj_Aw0uIDMv92IPWG0sG5KbNIxtRhB-vj3c1TB1-jBGYHNNsgbYu6W4yCjTV/w400-h211/DAMBALLA.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Of course, the film follows the rules of an effective screenplay, so the next scene involves Sgt. Buck taking Ted to the local bank to set up an account. The scene is a tense one due to two factors. First, the speaking characters are out of focus, while the desks behind them are in focus. Second, the man sitting off to the left, who holds his battered hat in his hands, is listening intently as the bank manager explains how Ted cashing his monthly disability and pension checks amounting to a massive amount of money and storing the cash on Haunted Island might not be a good idea.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSjnOD0ZxvVVAvwLE3UCvf0hIwcdfByXDKLIGguQivojAfa7By-xW87IXWslKLMjZFFmUexhP_RM-jqYu1AhGRE7dgbs50JSH_hlZjxUSummzvmDW8GCgnMbTb1f9LylZyFq9FS_FVVNYF3iQwRF8yvFEXTcZ2EzGWnXl5SGuQ4alyTVRPCLJGQjOVFddX/s2360/BANK%20INTERVIEW.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1254" data-original-width="2360" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSjnOD0ZxvVVAvwLE3UCvf0hIwcdfByXDKLIGguQivojAfa7By-xW87IXWslKLMjZFFmUexhP_RM-jqYu1AhGRE7dgbs50JSH_hlZjxUSummzvmDW8GCgnMbTb1f9LylZyFq9FS_FVVNYF3iQwRF8yvFEXTcZ2EzGWnXl5SGuQ4alyTVRPCLJGQjOVFddX/w400-h213/BANK%20INTERVIEW.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The bank manager says, “Now, I’d like you to bring all of your money…to the bank. You know, it’s not like the old days. Banks don’t fail anymore.” The manager also asks Ted quite loudly, “Where do you keep the money? Do you have a safe?”</div><div><br /></div><div>Ted, apparently as indiscreet as the bank manager due to his time living alone on an island, replies, “Heck no! I’ve been out on that island for three months now without a visitor. I keep the money where the bugs can’t get it. In the breadbox.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The manager quips, “The breadbox? I guess it’s a good place to keep bread.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, the man sitting behind them nods sinisterly before another bank officer tells him he’s not getting a loan.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the next scene, the eavesdropper, Max, meets with his cohort Earl on a boat to plan how to steal Ted’s money. They plan to kill Ted if necessary. They do not see, however, the naked Damballa, who watches them from the water in her human form and then chases them in their boat in her snake form.</div><div><br /></div><div>After a mishap involving underwater quicksand, the would-be thieves (who continually fail to notice a young naked woman swimming ten feet away from them) go to Max’s house, where they further strategize about robbing Ted with Max’s wife Louise. “What is the best way for somebody to die on the bayou?” asks Earl.</div><div><br /></div><div>Max waxes philosophical: “With all this damn water around, probably the best way would be drowning. Maybe he could fall down, hit his head, land in the bayou. Have a terrible accident.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Everyone laughs evilly, unaware that Damballa is peeking through the window.</div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, Ted visits someone known as The Voodoo Lady, who is performing acupuncture on a wordless, shirtless man, to ask her about the woman he has seen swimming near the island. “Be careful of the water,” she tells him, “for your moon is in Pisces.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, Max, Earl, and Louise jump Ted on the dock in front of his house. The three of them shove Ted into the water, which oddly knocks him unconscious. They drag him to shore and steal his jewelry. “Let’s throw him back,” says Max, and they push him into the bayou. “That’s good. He can drown in that amount of water.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Max and Earl steal Ted’s money from the breadbox. Earl says, “Did you see that black snake watching us?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Don’t worry about the snake,” Max replies. “He can’t testify.”</div><div><br /></div><div>As the thieves row away, the filmmakers cut to a sequence where Damballa, in human and quite topless form, dances over Ted’s body beside the bayou.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAqKzt7SrI5YW7DaJx01Ux6IQJLUsrqjxKgdii0hjMT43pIE6WoWelnl4fzx5nTmfSYxpCXO7tBXde4B4zFcWOwvIGUCCrQD_M2t1m93DMiIzQsGxbJo74Bd2K0f5tnW5GbH2OI-1b6BhQn_nt2XvUguWYuqwBtFD7bXJ-N-JNE4d_9sXt8LXmpYn8ZzTq/s2360/DAMBALLA%20DANCING.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1232" data-original-width="2360" height="209" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAqKzt7SrI5YW7DaJx01Ux6IQJLUsrqjxKgdii0hjMT43pIE6WoWelnl4fzx5nTmfSYxpCXO7tBXde4B4zFcWOwvIGUCCrQD_M2t1m93DMiIzQsGxbJo74Bd2K0f5tnW5GbH2OI-1b6BhQn_nt2XvUguWYuqwBtFD7bXJ-N-JNE4d_9sXt8LXmpYn8ZzTq/w400-h209/DAMBALLA%20DANCING.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Eventually, she squats over Ted and kisses him, somehow bringing him back to life (or perhaps just consciousness). </div><div><br /></div><div>“You…you’re the girl that swims in the lake,” Ted says, flabbergasted. “The one that turns into a snake.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Yes,” Damballa confirms, “and now you exist in the world of the living dead.” She announces that she is going to tell Ted her story, “the story of all.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The film flashes back to Damballa’s childhood, as three young girls participate in a ceremony. A tall man leads Damballa to the High Priestess, who tells her, “Have no fear, for you are the chosen one. You are to cross over and live in the two worlds, this one and the next, because you are the chosen one.” The High Priestess calls forward a blonde woman from a grave beneath a snake-shaped tombstone. The blonde woman fades away, giving her power to Damballa.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj43v-OvMe5Euw8_y25KgJOfYxYgwtr7XBOxinudgAtWOjFD8PRQPRWfPol6s38wmD5MjG-V46BwxfylATZGdT9iABw0zo_KasUwEF_otCjUGeOTN2BelzIhxRZPU60LZk2gH6xgRckSyDn0SP5GhBsr6urMXFfhfwp6WaIeJEl7d26sJgBleBnAh8jrbEP/s2360/BLONDE%20WOMAN.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1241" data-original-width="2360" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj43v-OvMe5Euw8_y25KgJOfYxYgwtr7XBOxinudgAtWOjFD8PRQPRWfPol6s38wmD5MjG-V46BwxfylATZGdT9iABw0zo_KasUwEF_otCjUGeOTN2BelzIhxRZPU60LZk2gH6xgRckSyDn0SP5GhBsr6urMXFfhfwp6WaIeJEl7d26sJgBleBnAh8jrbEP/w400-h210/BLONDE%20WOMAN.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The blonde woman tells Damballa that she will be the last of the oracles, and when her job is done she will bring with her a special man to the next world to fulfill a prophecy. After approximately ten minutes of what can only be called mumbo-jumbo, Damballa drinks a potion and lies down on a pyre which is quickly lit on fire. Those in attendance gyrate while Damballa burns.</div><div><br /></div><div>Back in the present, Damballa rubs Ted’s chest and says, “We must join our souls for eternity. Come. We are now ready for the next part of our journey.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Back at Max’s house, the thieves empty the money onto the kitchen table, but they have a vision that it is lightly spattered with blood, or perhaps tomato sauce.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj80FJvp_tXxBm8CfIo8CwjmaiZjJHtK1a4bWFjJ3__wwAOfF6XY569AVyZkLp3cZEz27ugHzSRcK80RrfyuWStFayN35GBcudXb5SAM7sW47RROscakezek3Hz-8Jb35Y7yGzwER_05CfQcdlJrg2XEYhwUH7g8CLc2RSQjjemDdowH_iwXgZmvlWIc9js/s2360/BLOOD%20MONEY.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1267" data-original-width="2360" height="215" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj80FJvp_tXxBm8CfIo8CwjmaiZjJHtK1a4bWFjJ3__wwAOfF6XY569AVyZkLp3cZEz27ugHzSRcK80RrfyuWStFayN35GBcudXb5SAM7sW47RROscakezek3Hz-8Jb35Y7yGzwER_05CfQcdlJrg2XEYhwUH7g8CLc2RSQjjemDdowH_iwXgZmvlWIc9js/w400-h215/BLOOD%20MONEY.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Immediately, Max and Earl run to the sheriff. Max says, “We come to give ourselves up.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Earl explains, “We hit the ranger on the head and we drowned him in the bayou. We stole his money.”</div><div><br /></div><div>In a fascinating twist, neither the sheriff nor Sgt. Buck believe the thieves. “What’s the matter with you fools?” asks the sheriff. “This isn’t April Fools Day.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The policemen step outside the office (which is clearly a sheriff’s office, as a small badge-shaped sticker is affixed to the door) to discuss what to do.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdhsqFvq90ZbKCD2ntoqjrnIrnkOfs-PmlcTAz0xeXOgqlQAs3koM0eJGC98Esw8xwaucjNFX35HEzf8K9nD93RGeg69MR9KYpNeESESX0zeAIAfnq1Lk6fT8lxLEd1_-N3HEk3_dW6NzH2u9znw49_2AQPmF-4C0iBGBPPQ2e1gWELjf6ABbtqA4GlkSM/s2360/SHERIFF%20AND%20BUCK.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1233" data-original-width="2360" height="209" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdhsqFvq90ZbKCD2ntoqjrnIrnkOfs-PmlcTAz0xeXOgqlQAs3koM0eJGC98Esw8xwaucjNFX35HEzf8K9nD93RGeg69MR9KYpNeESESX0zeAIAfnq1Lk6fT8lxLEd1_-N3HEk3_dW6NzH2u9znw49_2AQPmF-4C0iBGBPPQ2e1gWELjf6ABbtqA4GlkSM/w400-h209/SHERIFF%20AND%20BUCK.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>They decide to lock up the thieves with no charges until they check out Haunted Island to see if Ted has been murdered.</div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, on Haunted Island, Ted walks with Damballa until they come across a large rock. “It’s a meteorite,” Ted explains. “I’ve seen it before. They’re very rare. How did it get here?”</div><div><br /></div><div>Damballa replies, “It was sent by the heavens to mark this place. The island of our people. My island. And, as it was predicted, you were sent to me.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“All my life, I’ve been very fortunate,” Ted says wistfully. “Just plain lucky. I should have been killed. First Korea, and then Vietnam. Out of 300 men, I was the only survivor. I was badly wounded but now I’m here. Perhaps this is the reason.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Yes. You have passed all tests. I have been waiting. Come.” In a burst of fog, Damballa transforms herself into a snake.</div><div><br /></div><div>The sheriff and Sgt. Buck motorboat out to Haunted Island, where they see Ted lounging in front of his house. The sheriff sputters, “I got two guys down at the station that confessed to killing you! I got the money here that they say they took from you!”</div><div><br /></div><div>Ted offers them beer so they join him in the house. “No harm done,” Ted says. “I got a little love tap. I bet they got the scare of their lives.” Then he introduces the two lawmen to Damballa, who enters wearing a tight yellow dress and tells them things about themselves that a stranger wouldn’t know.</div><div><br /></div><div>Sgt. Buck turns to the sheriff. “What do you make of all this? I just damn can’t believe it.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“A lot of things in these swamps are unbelievable. I guess we’ll have to let those other two nuts go.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The lawmen get up and leave the house. As they walk to their boat, Sgt. Buck keeps repeating, “I can’t believe it. I can’t believe it.” Inside the house, Damballa tells Ted that the thieves must be punished in kind.</div><div><br /></div><div>In a puff of smoke, Damballa appears in the window of the Voodoo Lady, who sleeps in a chair.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinEOzkg-swxlP4bsmJVtqH36AD0kFm4jXKOPcDbdOwIirV9bgZTeqL5_gn63hwWxWAuvfCQqVDKt0poCmlIinomvrvo-Z4D_ZK2LiCW5N0mkX0shxvcnPEAwzfTzds2vuOnoobb74E7dRUXkN3IklzTHYje1Dr89edSZt_OUOJXOqRHglsHCjjn12P7sfJ/s2360/PUFF%20OF%20SMOKE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1249" data-original-width="2360" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinEOzkg-swxlP4bsmJVtqH36AD0kFm4jXKOPcDbdOwIirV9bgZTeqL5_gn63hwWxWAuvfCQqVDKt0poCmlIinomvrvo-Z4D_ZK2LiCW5N0mkX0shxvcnPEAwzfTzds2vuOnoobb74E7dRUXkN3IklzTHYje1Dr89edSZt_OUOJXOqRHglsHCjjn12P7sfJ/w400-h211/PUFF%20OF%20SMOKE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Damballa tells the Voodoo Lady to make dolls of Max, Earl, and Louise and send them to Damballa. “I am going to give them a pirate treasure of my island.” Then Damballa leaves through the window, again transforming into smoke.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the next scene, Louise has been summoned alone to the Voodoo Lady’s house. “I’m going to give it to you,” says the Voodoo Lady. “The treasure of Jean LaFitte. To you, and to Max, and to Earl.” She gives Louise a sample doubloon and a map drawn on a piece of leather.</div><div><br /></div><div>Louise, sensing something is up, refuses the map and the gold, so the Voodoo Lady shows her a doll.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZtq6KEq8B7Gheax1l4pLQ6O8dPqJErr5vMf2R_mLaj7uvI8fe4qJgKRayDUNsRaUOjXDXzx_Kd4LgmdYts_rjvr-6eaCZV1cS_gLNSIwRlb9IH0Bk-beb67qvxqff4Azlw9ezIH-xL9dtlGSED9aL4Fn-cLGLdLplm5pRekVUn0i8PV19Y4qfBa2B9-ba/s2360/LOUISE%20VOODOO%20DOLL.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1242" data-original-width="2360" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZtq6KEq8B7Gheax1l4pLQ6O8dPqJErr5vMf2R_mLaj7uvI8fe4qJgKRayDUNsRaUOjXDXzx_Kd4LgmdYts_rjvr-6eaCZV1cS_gLNSIwRlb9IH0Bk-beb67qvxqff4Azlw9ezIH-xL9dtlGSED9aL4Fn-cLGLdLplm5pRekVUn0i8PV19Y4qfBa2B9-ba/w400-h210/LOUISE%20VOODOO%20DOLL.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>“If you don’t do as I bid you…I’ll fix you,” the Voodoo Lady threatens.</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, the Voodoo Lady sticks a wooden blade into the Louise doll, and Louise, in her bedroom, feels a stabbing pain. Louise tells Max that the Voodoo Lady wants them to dig up a pirate treasure on Haunted Island, so Max agrees.</div><div><br /></div><div>The next day, Damballa dances naked in front of a casket.</div><div><br /></div><div>The three thieves row to a sandy part of the island and start digging. About six inches beneath the sand, they find a wooden chest. “Let’s open it up and see what it is,” says Max. It is indeed a treasure. They carry it to their boat, unaware that the Voodoo Lady is submerging three voodoo dolls in the water.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjatzngnekq22-KwyaqW0WLo_I6bVArvdmvn2D1zs7_uJZTkOQaP-i2G_eAwqKRMa8EZ5zZlFHHAV4Pe3_o_nQpeO2tQrx0_FhM4mIobShc6VQNbEmuIIOguhG5o1By2hWg2ktrT0z99Wc3JqQ70DgoZncobHp3hof4wTLLRE7-pZk7en8t9sFpIFPkF7gV/s2360/THREE%20DOLLS.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1224" data-original-width="2360" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjatzngnekq22-KwyaqW0WLo_I6bVArvdmvn2D1zs7_uJZTkOQaP-i2G_eAwqKRMa8EZ5zZlFHHAV4Pe3_o_nQpeO2tQrx0_FhM4mIobShc6VQNbEmuIIOguhG5o1By2hWg2ktrT0z99Wc3JqQ70DgoZncobHp3hof4wTLLRE7-pZk7en8t9sFpIFPkF7gV/w400-h208/THREE%20DOLLS.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Weighted down by the treasure, the boat sinks, drowning the three thieves in the bayou as Damballa in snake form slithers through the water.</div><div><br /></div><div>With all the story elements tied up, Damballa and Ted go to the snake-shaped tombstone to meet the High Priestess. She approves of him, so the film cuts back to the funeral pyre on which Damballa once burned. This time, she leads Ted to the pyre. He lies down and Damballa sets the pyre on fire. Then a variety of women gyrate in front of the flames.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the end, the sheriff and Sgt. Buck motorboat around the island but see only smoke. Sgt. Buck sums it up: “We searched the entire island. We couldn’t find a single thing…living or dead.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The sheriff replies, “You know, I’m beginning to believe it.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The film cuts to a shot of the book illustration for Damballa, which now shows (somewhat confusingly) Damballa as well as Ted.</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0IageV-h_D6uzc1CXKUnpZkER5CKnMDa3oNY1Rl4fhyfPyvs6CqdAUOFamaodm9-hMHrjR8ORjUsofg4W4780ao09G-gz_aVWUnLMvGqgNb2rW1WhuFun1zPppjuz9GtviA3LEQMMTsD3LO3J8F5WtAzzASwfkBS7BNSOHM4UNyLaQGAOC3TA7hyGJBnl/s2360/UPDATED%20BOOK%20ILLUSTRATION.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1225" data-original-width="2360" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0IageV-h_D6uzc1CXKUnpZkER5CKnMDa3oNY1Rl4fhyfPyvs6CqdAUOFamaodm9-hMHrjR8ORjUsofg4W4780ao09G-gz_aVWUnLMvGqgNb2rW1WhuFun1zPppjuz9GtviA3LEQMMTsD3LO3J8F5WtAzzASwfkBS7BNSOHM4UNyLaQGAOC3TA7hyGJBnl/w400-h208/UPDATED%20BOOK%20ILLUSTRATION.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><hr /><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">The bayous of Louisiana are naturally the source of much folklore and mythology, so it is fascinating to watch such an accurate depiction of the region's myths, which (as we all know) focus on white people dancing around giant meteorites and snake-shaped tombstones while invoking Aztec priests and priestesses. While this mythology adds spice to the film, the story is at heart a revenge film, depicting the brutal drowning revenge against Max, Earl, and Louise (which lasts nearly a minute onscreen) in retribution for their brutal drowning murder of Ted (which also lasts nearly a minute onscreen). It is also about people riding in boats and other people dancing naked in a swamp. In fact, if one were to have any criticism about the film at all, it might be that the story includes too many elements to fit into its 71 minute runtime. Why, the nude dancing alone takes up at least fifteen minutes, while the non-nude dancing takes up another ten. Perhaps the filmmakers should have split the story across two films, saving some of the dancing and boating footage for a sequel.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">In any case, Crypt of Dark Secrets is an engaging and educational film with memorable performances and excellent photography of swamps and snakes. It is unfortunate Jack Weis directed only three features, but with Crypt of Dark Secrets his legacy as a solid regional filmmaker in the 1970s is assured.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>Doctor Pseudonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07584099620426375486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-909065385728154804.post-38793999027400802512023-09-25T04:00:00.115-07:002023-09-25T04:00:00.132-07:00"Whoever Heard of Ghosts Showing Up in the Daytime?" - Ghosts of Hanley House (1968)<div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMlnmU4upMlpLSqFJ-nXjryjWR2aYQ_33azrWdetcHtrkwsxfTbii-Mjm9GyfkZWaNrmkPXefeq6ScEo9k70YB-44REzExvwrsXeK4sVwRViH-_STUAV437xgr73kl5HK1w-fJ1cUW9eT_NwBIvXH-POT5RqAHdmHq3TtYk3IOuKpoRI9W3Vmu7RHJ2Ukw/s1100/Ghosts%20of%20Hanley%20House%20Title.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="1100" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMlnmU4upMlpLSqFJ-nXjryjWR2aYQ_33azrWdetcHtrkwsxfTbii-Mjm9GyfkZWaNrmkPXefeq6ScEo9k70YB-44REzExvwrsXeK4sVwRViH-_STUAV437xgr73kl5HK1w-fJ1cUW9eT_NwBIvXH-POT5RqAHdmHq3TtYk3IOuKpoRI9W3Vmu7RHJ2Ukw/w640-h232/Ghosts%20of%20Hanley%20House%20Title.png" width="640" /></a></div><div>It is time to visit Louise Sherrill's minimalist haunted house film Ghosts of Hanley House (1968). Although an obscure 1960's film made by people with little filmmaking experience, the movie is atmospheric and suggestive, a low-key response to Robert Wise's The Haunting (1963).</div><div><br /></div><div>Of course, some of your universe's critics are unmoved by films as subtle as this. For example, reviewer johnfrum2000 <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2327429/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a> directly (if inaccurately), "This is a bad movie." Reviewer planktonrules <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2491213/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a> analytically, "The folks who make 'The Ghosts of Hanley House' obviously had little idea of what they were doing." And reviewer artpf <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2937540/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a> diagnostically, "The biggest problem with this film is that it just keeps going with nothing really happening."</div><div><br /></div><div>Read on for an accurate appreciation of Ghosts of Hanley House...</div><div><br /></div><div><span><a name='more'></a></span>Thunder crashes. Lightning strikes. A woman screams. We see the boarded-up exterior of a suburban house. Inside, doors slam shut by themselves and various clock hands turn crazily. Presaging violence, someone lifts an axe.</div><div><br /></div><div>Elsewhere and elsewhen, in a bar, two men, Hank and Dick, are speaking about Hanley House, which is reputed to be haunted. Hank says about ghosts, “I didn’t say they don’t exist. I just said I don’t believe in them.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The men decide to make a bet. However, the terms of the bet are interrupted by dialogue-less shots of other patrons sitting at the bar and still others playing pool. Eventually, the film’s dialogue returns, and the men decide to bet their cars: Dick’s new Ferrari against Hank’s old MG. “All right, I’ll bite,” says Hank. “What do I have to do?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Just spend the night. Make sure there are no ghosts.” It turns out Dick owns the place now that the previous owners abandoned the place. “I can’t sell it or can’t even rent it with all this ghost stuff. So you spend the night, and I’ll let you decide if the place is haunted.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Hank, of course, agrees, and he decides to invite a few friends to spend the night at the purportedly haunted house in hopes of winning a new Ferrari (it must be noted the Ferrari is never seen in the film).</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, Hank tries to recruit some of his friends to spend the night at Hanley House in front of an art supply shop that features, for unknown reasons, a painting of a Klingon in the window.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi3rDTYs7gw6PkAUQDvu1Dg0fkiL1F8K88IQpZCfOHMAquG-6Dq721to5ngPSylEDxOKHTK3iIa44ABsksGnlSnFnZhY7OVkPfRsgGTnbBLowGrhFrxm9tHx2s-We64rZiEJO3sbWUy5Q087X84c-mwEWMDnX54JQVf0unQGZjHjwmx8UH3ewhiX4MRNnn/s2224/KLINGON%20PAINTING.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1668" data-original-width="2224" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi3rDTYs7gw6PkAUQDvu1Dg0fkiL1F8K88IQpZCfOHMAquG-6Dq721to5ngPSylEDxOKHTK3iIa44ABsksGnlSnFnZhY7OVkPfRsgGTnbBLowGrhFrxm9tHx2s-We64rZiEJO3sbWUy5Q087X84c-mwEWMDnX54JQVf0unQGZjHjwmx8UH3ewhiX4MRNnn/w400-h300/KLINGON%20PAINTING.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Hank has trouble finding people to spend the night with him. He visits an old woman named Miss Lucy to learn about the history of the house. Despite saying “I don’t know anything about the place,” the woman regales Hank with a history of odd goings-on at the house, including the fact that two people spent the night in the house previously—one went insane and the other hanged himself.</div><div><br /></div><div>Eventually, Hank finds a few townspeople willing to spend the night. Dick, who is dropping off beer, introduces Hank to his cousin Sheila, who “is staying for the party.” Hank glares at Sheila disturbingly, an expression the audience is clearly meant to take as a charming smile.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOjYuV2s9az5pdUZ0nzka9UblBRhS4esewOKMPgXiMPAT64qP_B2b30iyLcedzcBWxzOqc1Ihpre0zjsNwlTKeK1OghOVWGG8Uccn1hz-uIbxMo5s6uYFHetyY2tMjDKSrUqh-4j9fr1JCD2GVBVgPt3VPToue3A08ndXwuwD9MveJbQGCwlhEw_V5W3B-/s2224/HANK%E2%80%99S%20GRIMACE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1668" data-original-width="2224" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOjYuV2s9az5pdUZ0nzka9UblBRhS4esewOKMPgXiMPAT64qP_B2b30iyLcedzcBWxzOqc1Ihpre0zjsNwlTKeK1OghOVWGG8Uccn1hz-uIbxMo5s6uYFHetyY2tMjDKSrUqh-4j9fr1JCD2GVBVgPt3VPToue3A08ndXwuwD9MveJbQGCwlhEw_V5W3B-/w400-h300/HANK%E2%80%99S%20GRIMACE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The visitors are entranced, understandably, by a semi-nude painting of Mrs. Hanley, the previous owner of the house, that hangs in the stairwell. One of Hank’s friends, a middle-aged man named Morgan, reveals that he knew the Hanleys, but not very well.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyw7C2yjhhaWtser4PowWwt7q2f5bTlSeZxqJqNoCJk_LJcRbTFCO7nL8KSx34aS-MrSDp1sEazOcE5QV4dfrC6SGvWEPTxNhcZQD-87hJBVwRbjz-W-9uEmy2cVwQDeQwjjRr6Ehapdrnb9pppSph5C93ocrd8YPxeDI9FbbBk7pTvzVP-2lSBOVLl97L/s2224/PAINTING%20OF%20MRS%20HANLEY.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1668" data-original-width="2224" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyw7C2yjhhaWtser4PowWwt7q2f5bTlSeZxqJqNoCJk_LJcRbTFCO7nL8KSx34aS-MrSDp1sEazOcE5QV4dfrC6SGvWEPTxNhcZQD-87hJBVwRbjz-W-9uEmy2cVwQDeQwjjRr6Ehapdrnb9pppSph5C93ocrd8YPxeDI9FbbBk7pTvzVP-2lSBOVLl97L/w400-h300/PAINTING%20OF%20MRS%20HANLEY.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The group gets to work fixing up the house a bit, and Sheila moves the painting of Mrs. Hanley to a spot above the fireplace. As she dusts, the local psychic Gabrielle asks intelligently, “Did it ever occur to you that someone might want people to think this place is haunted, and someone might benefit by it?”</div><div><br /></div><div>The first mysterious occurrence occurs: There is a knock but nobody is at the door. The filmmakers cut to shots of the house’s expansive back garden, which is quiet except for a few birds. “There’s no one there,” Sheila says.</div><div><br /></div><div>Gabrielle writes in her journal that the knocking occurred exactly at six o’clock. Hank says derisively, “Gabby, I hope you get it all down. It’ll be good for your research.” He laughs heartily. “Whoever heard of ghosts showing up in the daytime?”</div><div><br /></div><div>There is another knock and everybody goes to the door. Nobody is there, and everyone feels a mysterious coldness. Gabrielle sees something she calls “the imprint of a spirit.” She says a troubled spirit is visiting them from another world…”maybe seeking revenge.” She also confides to Hank that she believes he has “psychical powers.”</div><div><br /></div><div>After dinner is served by Hank’s maid Isabel (a woman who sensibly leaves immediately after setting out the dinner), the friends discover that Dick’s car keys are gone. (The manner in which this is discovered involves each of the friends asking the next one if they have seen Dick’s keys as they sit around the table.) It seems Dick will have to spend the night, as he is unable to drive away in his (unseen) Ferrari.</div><div><br /></div><div>At ten o’clock, the friends are playing cards and listening to records. Hank dances with Sheila, so Dick tries to dance with Morgan, but he ends up dancing with Gabrielle instead. They dance awkwardly to the classical music playing on the phonograph and laugh at themselves. Hank continues what may or may not be his romantic pursuit of Sheila, explaining he has lived in town all his life. “Nice little town. Nice people getting nicer all the time.” (This might be a sly reference to Sheila being new in town, but it is impossible to tell from Hank’s leering delivery.)</div><div><br /></div><div>When the others sit down to play cards, Sheila stands by herself and listens to the house. “Don’t move,” she says to the group at the card table. “Just above your heads. A black widow spider.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Of course, everyone swats above their heads, as if swatting at a black widow on its web would be helpful. The audience never sees the spider, and the companions act as if it has vanished mysteriously.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIXhyMGkv5cbdtHuJP6hbja96RO5pmKmnr-hdXZfcqKA5xQMlMfNW5WxqdHdATNisn9Qaxcjafcn0e6GXgpho1PXiGZcDWryGz0BPJbt6hF0_lHa9s7T4GkybDGFndosvkGf9i2qVU3_6LBNbSgu5TWzwd2vQGDDGk5k8eWb-XfbOIFod0U3hkzRA5qlvv/s2224/INVISIBLE%20SPIDER.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1668" data-original-width="2224" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIXhyMGkv5cbdtHuJP6hbja96RO5pmKmnr-hdXZfcqKA5xQMlMfNW5WxqdHdATNisn9Qaxcjafcn0e6GXgpho1PXiGZcDWryGz0BPJbt6hF0_lHa9s7T4GkybDGFndosvkGf9i2qVU3_6LBNbSgu5TWzwd2vQGDDGk5k8eWb-XfbOIFod0U3hkzRA5qlvv/w400-h300/INVISIBLE%20SPIDER.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, a wolf howls outside. Everyone runs to the back door to investigate. The camera prowls through the back garden. Even with a flashlight, however, they find nothing outside. The audience, however, sees the oddly glowing silhouette of a behatted man watching from behind the bushes.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWHBsd9WkzBwePu9DE1RozeT9FOdGm9dD6E7q3jyYMNV1G1TGx3HRSkuGnQ1FEwGkaYubbE3lq7APdCrn0gwxO8ikdMUwNURjFi6GCEe3WSXnG4P_jc2VmA12bzUi7W93mw2nQXog3N-tFEpIvRf8GuQ33zoMUeTFf0XCBsMAlrwPOyGZ3fuKWBjQ5SRHc/s2224/STRANGER.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1668" data-original-width="2224" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWHBsd9WkzBwePu9DE1RozeT9FOdGm9dD6E7q3jyYMNV1G1TGx3HRSkuGnQ1FEwGkaYubbE3lq7APdCrn0gwxO8ikdMUwNURjFi6GCEe3WSXnG4P_jc2VmA12bzUi7W93mw2nQXog3N-tFEpIvRf8GuQ33zoMUeTFf0XCBsMAlrwPOyGZ3fuKWBjQ5SRHc/w400-h300/STRANGER.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Later, Sheila acts as if Morgan is choking her with ice-cold hands, but Morgan is nowhere near her. The hands of the clocks whirl around while the portrait of Mrs. Hanley falls off the wall.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Who tried to choke you?” Hank asks Sheila.</div><div><br /></div><div>“It did. It did.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“You didn’t see who it was?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“It wasn’t anyone. Just a pair of ice cold hands.”</div><div><br /></div><div>When everyone is gathered in one room, Sheila notices what appears to be a toolbox on the floor. Dick looks at it but decides not to open it because it doesn’t belong to him. Hank suggests they go to bed because their imaginations are working overtime, so the group of five people walks single-file up the staircase.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the ladies’ bedroom, Gabrielle asks Sheila if she believes something supernatural is going on. “It tried to kill me, you know,” Sheila replies.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Perhaps it tried to warn you, or even to tell you something.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“But it choked me. It tried to kill me, I know it did.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“You don’t understand. The spirits work in strange ways. I can tell you this: In all the psychic world, a spirit has never been known to kill anyone. They may have driven them to kill themselves…when they were justified.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Despite the ominous conversation, Gabrielle encourages Sheila to let the spirits contact her, and the two women go to sleep.</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, Sheila sees a light and hears a weird whispering voice, so she gets out of bed and searches the house, completely unafraid. She enters a room and sees an empty casket while a female voice whispers, “Sheila…Come, Sheila.” She runs back to bed, not mentioning the incident to anyone.</div><div><br /></div><div>Still later, everyone hears horses running across the roof of the house. After the sound goes away, a somewhat disturbingly shirtless Hank suggests everyone leave their bedrooms and spend the rest of the night downstairs in the library.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the library, Gabrielle sets up a seance, placing the traditional big wooden cross on the table.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs7mO-DjpChZIRm_EEoC1wWHtA_cD2y6MJjHXugZ09EINBb81YfjK9mn609wcdu_94DZuuICknnJNmSaBVo1edmCXbWcfOQ9qfLN_7Gz4eXM8ZYjaLKI8AWN4YYYCcWhxIAAeK3zX2aPZNDZvB7dyv_YULOhvPa3wjox9nKcVyi8IyJa1jYkRNAlWcQWBW/s2166/SEANCE%20WITH%20CROSS.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1607" data-original-width="2166" height="296" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs7mO-DjpChZIRm_EEoC1wWHtA_cD2y6MJjHXugZ09EINBb81YfjK9mn609wcdu_94DZuuICknnJNmSaBVo1edmCXbWcfOQ9qfLN_7Gz4eXM8ZYjaLKI8AWN4YYYCcWhxIAAeK3zX2aPZNDZvB7dyv_YULOhvPa3wjox9nKcVyi8IyJa1jYkRNAlWcQWBW/w400-h296/SEANCE%20WITH%20CROSS.png" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div><div>Gabrielle contacts two spirits she knows on the other side, Neta and Zizi. Neta says that only evil spirits come to Hanley House, then Zizi goes away, frightened. Gabrielle quickly goes into a trance but is unable to channel another spirit. However, there is tapping at a wall and a piano starts playing random notes, causing Sheila to scream.</div><div><br /></div><div>The tapping and piano notes prove too frightening for anyone to remain in the house. Hank, realizing he is losing the bet, hands Dick his car keys. Unfortunately for everyone involved, however, all the car batteries are dead (we still do not see the Ferrari). “What now?” asks Dick.</div><div><br /></div><div>“We walk,” says Hank. “Come on. We’ll take a shortcut.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The five compatriots walk through the moonlit forest. They encounter an aggressive mountain lion on the path, but it runs away without bothering them (or, in fact, appearing in the same camera shot with them). After five to ten minutes of shots of trees swaying in the wind, the group returns to the house. </div><div><br /></div><div>As they return to the grounds, a mysterious entity that looks like a fireball appears before them.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlHbkRhg5qlUWC-5JfFay-siEwDj0SBTzBkSlqpE7ruFhdKqrr4gdMY8M1efEKBfdE9-3Q9s2defRCmrZN0-EQ_ZohinE_gy3M5C1xXXMCPFvUjxLPsIhMKbFdDsatUqRMw4OzKA0yi0l2Qv_AAtFPzQ5qfWrz7hanzLzbd1IBxYKfJ-IcOnQJG7seNMgz/s2143/FIREBALL.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1607" data-original-width="2143" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlHbkRhg5qlUWC-5JfFay-siEwDj0SBTzBkSlqpE7ruFhdKqrr4gdMY8M1efEKBfdE9-3Q9s2defRCmrZN0-EQ_ZohinE_gy3M5C1xXXMCPFvUjxLPsIhMKbFdDsatUqRMw4OzKA0yi0l2Qv_AAtFPzQ5qfWrz7hanzLzbd1IBxYKfJ-IcOnQJG7seNMgz/w400-h300/FIREBALL.png" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div><div>“It’s trying to communicate with us,” Gabrielle says. “We’ll go inside.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Nobody wants to go back inside the house, but Gabrielle says they have no choice, so they all walk back inside. In the library, they hear electrical crackling and knocking. Gabrielle says courageously, “In the name of the Lord, what do you want?”</div><div><br /></div><div>When it fails to respond, she reasons it wants to contact Sheila, but this proves to be false. Gabrielle says, “It wants someone else. Dick?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“No,” Dick says, “I don’t want to.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Hank decides to take matters into his own hands. “In the name of the Lord, what do you want?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Who are you?” asks the disembodied spirit.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Henry McIntyre,” says Hank.</div><div><br /></div><div>The spirit crackles some more, then explains straightforwardly: “Down the cellar, in the southeast corner, my body is buried. In the garden beneath the rose bush, you’ll find my head. Then go into the attic. In the trunk is the body of my wife. In the square box by the door in the library is her head. If you will bury our bodies and heads together before the sun rises, we’ll never bother this house again. In the cemetery down the road is an open grave beside the plot I’ve been savings. Bury our bodies and we will haunt this house no more. Will you do this?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Don’t argue,” Gabrielle says. “Do what he asks.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The invisible spirit further says, in the manner of a pirate, “A curse upon ye who committed this heinous crime.” (The spirit pronounces the word heinous as “hee-nee-ous.”) “His soul shall not rest in peace. His spirit is doomed to roam the countryside through all eternity.”</div><div><br /></div><div>They take on the task, though Morgan is somewhat reluctant. In the basement, Morgan confesses, “It’s me they want.” He explains he had to kill the Harley’s. “They wouldn’t let me go, all these years, they wouldn’t let go.” After staring at each of his friends guiltily, he explains further: “It all began when we were boys together. They were putting up a new schoolhouse.” To make a long story short, one of Morgan and Tom Hanley’s friends was buried alive in concrete at the construction site. Tom thought Morgan was responsible for the accident and blackmailed him. “All these years, he’s bled my. My business, my inheritance. It must be close to a hundred thousand dollar.” Eventually, Morgan discovered that it was actually Tom who killed the boy. Morgan had no choice but to kill both Tom and his wife with an axe, beheading them.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibJ-S1Fp49qDw1ZdtNWjmS5mdUGPykiLOgOgTqBLZp1RBz9UZYSSmFwhENBIMdLSvRtCEoz6ehXtoXKSvJfwHZRkSWodlg4xH2SqajlbJFVCq_YFUgrETBDv9OG4CLhN-Z2caHTOhtL1K6P6WNbXK6GSFL0-_ucokwJC2zAhq9ch2jF9-oogualesEXstk/s2161/AXE%20MURDER.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1604" data-original-width="2161" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibJ-S1Fp49qDw1ZdtNWjmS5mdUGPykiLOgOgTqBLZp1RBz9UZYSSmFwhENBIMdLSvRtCEoz6ehXtoXKSvJfwHZRkSWodlg4xH2SqajlbJFVCq_YFUgrETBDv9OG4CLhN-Z2caHTOhtL1K6P6WNbXK6GSFL0-_ucokwJC2zAhq9ch2jF9-oogualesEXstk/w400-h297/AXE%20MURDER.png" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div><div>Oddly, instead of running, Morgan continues to help his friends excavate the corpses, including a buried box with Mrs. Hanley’s head.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKTGD68pj9kpr21JaS6JQikeYHKpVgeWAiOukWelfRKXkikwcXn8dsyYTc20TjSstz5XwCA2Ygdv0eXYB4bUvpuTs0q51XY8cnbwticcKHCqVCvh_uFk-0Om1n-Bz9b47OB6BIF0kS456jCRQid8WWZh_b7DcIVYPR5zwDzn6bJjo5KYAubUNadD8ai0aD/s2162/HEAD.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1604" data-original-width="2162" height="296" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKTGD68pj9kpr21JaS6JQikeYHKpVgeWAiOukWelfRKXkikwcXn8dsyYTc20TjSstz5XwCA2Ygdv0eXYB4bUvpuTs0q51XY8cnbwticcKHCqVCvh_uFk-0Om1n-Bz9b47OB6BIF0kS456jCRQid8WWZh_b7DcIVYPR5zwDzn6bJjo5KYAubUNadD8ai0aD/w400-h296/HEAD.png" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div><div>After all this, Morgan decides to run while Sheila faints and the others make coffee. After some searching of the house to find bodies that are not where they are supposed to be, including another head in the mysterious toolbox where the Hanleys’ money was supposed to be, the four remaining friends check out the cemetery to find the appropriate grave. Shockingly, they find Morgan dead on a freshly dug grave. He has a handprint on his face, as if someone has slapped him dead.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVKAcE68VPnn1oGttfdEth9oFxDkPHi0Khv-E0y5AOQIGUiY3qW9tkvyq61IMvj0TuhT4S3E-h1PPmzsRUeO-uzZTgWMgSJbIdv9LJpHq4itKsSEVcrNNPpEwfuPtKn4MSFnjHdYAVzWCqSFSOqADvQi6IDqacpbNJYPqVSLG5CR4vRMcWgeh-K2B7VGjR/s2121/MORGAN%20DEAD.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1604" data-original-width="2121" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVKAcE68VPnn1oGttfdEth9oFxDkPHi0Khv-E0y5AOQIGUiY3qW9tkvyq61IMvj0TuhT4S3E-h1PPmzsRUeO-uzZTgWMgSJbIdv9LJpHq4itKsSEVcrNNPpEwfuPtKn4MSFnjHdYAVzWCqSFSOqADvQi6IDqacpbNJYPqVSLG5CR4vRMcWgeh-K2B7VGjR/w400-h303/MORGAN%20DEAD.png" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div><div>In the final shot, the fireball ghost appears and envelops the entire screen.</div><div><br /><hr /></div><div><br /></div><div>Directed by Louise Sherrill, best known for acting in <a href="https://www.senselesscinema.com/2016/09/blood-and-lace-1971-part-1-of-3.html">Blood and Lace</a> (1971), Ghosts of Hanley House is a fascinating combination of the traditional and the modern. Like the title house itself, which is modernist on the outside but old-fashioned on the inside, the film updates the well-worn trope of people attempting to win money by staying in a haunted house with more gruesome late-sixties tropes like axe beheadings and fireball spirits.</div><div><br /></div><div>The film's modernist minimalism makes its team of intrepid ghost hunters likable without ever bothering to explain their motivations, except for Hank's desire for a never-seen (and perhaps nonexistent) Ferrari. Hank, though he is the strapping hero, is too afraid to visit the house alone, so he attempts to recruit various people for company. Those who decide to join him include Dick (the man with whom Hank is wagering, who perhaps could have accomplished the necessary task himself for free), Dick's cousin Sheila (who has no reason for staying, unless Dick is trying to set her up with Hank, something that is never explored), Sheila (the local psychic, who has perhaps the best motivation for joining Hank: curiosity), and Morgan (who committed two axe murders in the selfsame house, and has perhaps the worst motivation for ever coming near the place). </div><div><br /></div><div>In the end, circling back to the traditional, all mysteries are resolved and the evil character is punished. Presumably, Dick is able to sell the house and Hank is able to acquire Dick's Ferrari...if it exists at all. Perhaps Hank and Sheila become a couple, or perhaps not. A sequel might have answered this question, but alas, Louise Sherrill never directed another film, going on to act in a small number of films and then disappearing from cinema history. It is fortunate Ghosts of Hanley House is available for viewing 55 years after its production, a fascinating mix of the modern and the traditional written and directed by a woman with a multitude of ideas about haunted houses and the skills to put them on film.</div><div><br /></div></div>Doctor Pseudonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07584099620426375486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-909065385728154804.post-88912672376364787922023-09-11T04:00:00.086-07:002023-09-11T04:00:00.156-07:00“A Good French Dressing Is a Test of Anyone” - Final Cut (1980)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPv7y4FWHbrF1sZjBPbDuDgnmNa4J-hiehIxGIeDn0yzT70FN83Osv7Kx9625q1pfiN5aFwfoYDI0rv9KWWR2pdkaKa5baWGGfMI_t1-qjyY5xYHvOoRLxbU3bbrbhFYSAOhlcWkN1SAps4HKYEOtALqrFNdEHHs7K0PN1gtIzEwMeBYPT-nroMOGD_q4_/s1540/Final%20Cut%20Title.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="1540" height="166" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPv7y4FWHbrF1sZjBPbDuDgnmNa4J-hiehIxGIeDn0yzT70FN83Osv7Kx9625q1pfiN5aFwfoYDI0rv9KWWR2pdkaKa5baWGGfMI_t1-qjyY5xYHvOoRLxbU3bbrbhFYSAOhlcWkN1SAps4HKYEOtALqrFNdEHHs7K0PN1gtIzEwMeBYPT-nroMOGD_q4_/w640-h166/Final%20Cut%20Title.png" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;">It is time for a trip to Australia for 1980's Final Cut (not to be confused with 1998's Final Cut, or 2004's The Final Cut, or 2000's Urban Legends: Final Cut), also known as Death Games (not to be confused with 1977's Death Game). Final Cut is an Australian film about a documentary filmmaker profiling an immoral rock promoter rumored to be responsible for pornography and snuff films.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Some of your universe's critics, as usual, are less than enthusiastic about Final Cut. For example, reviewer FieCrier <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw0984205/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">calls</a> the film "A dreadfully boring movie that doesn't make much sense anyway." Reviewer vertigo_14 <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1267575/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a> that the film offers "much nonsense and relatively little bang." And reviewer videorama-759-859391 <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw3103538/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "It's definitely without interest."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Read on for the truth about Final Cut...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div><span><a name='more'></a></span>In the opening moments, one might be forgiven for believing they have stumbled upon a television crime show from the mid-1970s. A man carries a silver case up a stairway while music trills mysteriously. This is intercut with footage of a plan taking a long time to land. The staircase man opens the case and looks through a scope as an important businessman is interviewed by reporters on the airport tarmac. After the interview is over, it is clear the staircase man was not an assassin with a rifle but a filmmaker with a camera and tripod, recording the businessman from an inconvenient distance.</div><div><br /></div><div>As the narrative begins, we are introduced to the Australian protagonists, a cameraman named Chris and a magazine writer named Sarah working on a documentary in secret. At her magazine office, Sarah tells a coworker that make a filmed documentary is different from writing an article because “The words come after it’s shot.” She says she’s excited about her new project.</div><div><br /></div><div>Her colleague replies, “Well, it’s better than ‘100 Different Things to Do with a Pineapple.’”</div><div><br /></div><div>Sarah quips, somewhat confusingly, “Now there IS a film.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Outside the office, Chris picks Sarah up in his convertible. They trade witty quips, calling luxurious situations a “set.” Sarah tells him, “It’s only an hour’s ride to the coast, Chris, so take it easy.”</div><div><br /></div><div>He responds cryptically, “I’ve got ten grand’s worth of gear in the back. And you in the front.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Exactly,” she says, understanding him perfectly.</div><div><br /></div><div>(During their conversation, a traffic cop hands them a parking ticket, which they ignore without even acknowledging, which must be a cultural practice in your Australia.)</div><div><br /></div><div>They reach the coast in preparation for the night’s filming on their subject’s yacht, and Chris pauses to film topless women surfing.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipU7B0k4u4PvVph8Bxa96caqVTZfmWI1yRiq3bjcmb1pEJiLlszTDR-vCPQ_jhKL5pIMZpPvi1aceYYQWuXTQEpjfrmOyJqluNwv-NJ_U6LGidUROxfCT5qpLdC-BtziYugTLxbboqHXcR1GEtE3v10-h2wSg6J7mb1efWu57DheKbTG3QP3CGALKxTd2b/s2224/CHRIS%20FILMING%20AT%20BEACH.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1169" data-original-width="2224" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipU7B0k4u4PvVph8Bxa96caqVTZfmWI1yRiq3bjcmb1pEJiLlszTDR-vCPQ_jhKL5pIMZpPvi1aceYYQWuXTQEpjfrmOyJqluNwv-NJ_U6LGidUROxfCT5qpLdC-BtziYugTLxbboqHXcR1GEtE3v10-h2wSg6J7mb1efWu57DheKbTG3QP3CGALKxTd2b/w400-h210/CHRIS%20FILMING%20AT%20BEACH.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The wealthy subject of the documentary, rock promoter Dominic Black, hosts a party of wealthy and beautiful people on his boat (Chris previously described it as the most impressive yacht in Australia, though it is appears to be a medium-sized boat packed with people).</div><div><br /></div><div>Sarah introduces herself to Mick Major, the yacht’s pilot who used to be a best-selling pop singer. Meanwhile, Chris films the party on board, though he misses potentially interesting occurrences such as a young model slapping Dominic, as well as a topless woman carrying champagne glasses. Chris does film Dominic speaking about how he never lets anyone know about his private life, raising the question of why he is allowing Chris to film him. </div><div><br /></div><div>Also, Dominic implies awkwardly that he dabbles in creating pornography and snuff films. In perhaps the film’s most deeply philosophical exchange, Dominic says poetically, “Orgasm and death. Very like.”</div><div><br /></div><div>An older woman in the room comments, “Un petite mort. A little death. Tried it, darling? A little death goes a long way.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“But unlike real death…” says Dominic.</div><div><br /></div><div>The woman completes his thought: “You can do it again and again.”</div><div><br /></div><div>At night, after the party is over, Chris sits on the beach filming the moon, but he is surprised to see another topless woman, this one bloody, running along the beach. Of course, he films her until she disappears, apparently into the water. Chris falls down, drunk and unconscious. Someone steals the film reel from his camera as he sleeps.</div><div><br /></div><div>The next day, at their apartment, Chris discovers the missing film roll. Sarah helpfully explains the situation, after watching more topless women on Chris’s editing table. “Your film? I thought it was an expose on Dominic, not party ladies.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“He made skin flicks, maybe worse. That shows he’s still into exploitation.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“And you’re not?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Horses for courses,” Chris says, using an idiom to presumably express that both he and Dominic are suited for exploitation filmmaking. “Anything I get on him, I’ll use.”</div><div><br /></div><div>In the middle of the night, Sarah answers the phone and tells Chris they have been invited to Dominic’s penthouse for the weekend so they can finish filming. They drive to Dominic’s building, where they are watched on closed circuit video. After they’re buzzed in, they ride an elevator to the penthouse. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiwQkRhG3RI89zNbM4xOJFBWgXcxf1ARtvb_8bTDUpRi1C1pqUXnH8BSS4jEJTBv_pEGYIvTmu-tUHb0J_4yMoYracQGpUAg9ge9-LvNs6YhbODhI3ta3l-wg6M6I0RF8iyuMRZzDf4eb49gLo4JNMVFJ8QiSryr0otINY-40EzY3CWl5kbyexo7AY-FJ-/s2224/PENTHOUSE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1180" data-original-width="2224" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiwQkRhG3RI89zNbM4xOJFBWgXcxf1ARtvb_8bTDUpRi1C1pqUXnH8BSS4jEJTBv_pEGYIvTmu-tUHb0J_4yMoYracQGpUAg9ge9-LvNs6YhbODhI3ta3l-wg6M6I0RF8iyuMRZzDf4eb49gLo4JNMVFJ8QiSryr0otINY-40EzY3CWl5kbyexo7AY-FJ-/w400-h213/PENTHOUSE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Bizarrely, Dominic’s partner takes off her wristwatch and drops it off the balcony to demonstrate, presumably, that they are in fact high up.</div><div><br /></div><div>While Chris takes care of his camera equipment, Dominic gives orders using a gigantic telephone about stealing more of Chris’s footage, again raising the question in the audience’s mind of why Dominic is allowing Chris to film him.</div><div><br /></div><div>On the penthouse balcony, Chris films Dominic some more. Dominic expounds on creative editing (saying that a filmmaker can create the perfect body: “Get Raquel Welch for the price of the girl next door”). Dominic guides the discussion to the relationship between Chris and Sarah. Referring to Sarah, Dominic says, “I think she’s a trifle more complicated than you imagine.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Why?” Chris asks. “Because she likes French dressing?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“A good French dressing is a test of anyone,” Dominic says cryptically, “the maker or the maid.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Yvette, the middle-aged woman who formerly starred in adult films and who translated “petite mort” earlier, taunts Chris by telling him as he films her, “Chris, darling, if you’re going to go on working like a maniac, you must eat like a maniac.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Complaining about Chris always filming, Dominic tells him to hide the camera instead of carrying it around. “That’s the best way to get what you’re after, surely.”</div><div><br /></div><div>After Dominic watches Chris and Sarah on a hidden camera, he decides to slip a chemical into not their drinks but food made in a food processor.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the living room, the foursome of Chris, Sarah, Dominic, and Yvette decides to play a game of charades. “In deference to our guests, why not start with a movie title? That’s only fair.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Chris responds tersely, “I make movies, I don’t watch them.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The first charade is “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.” The second is “Naked City.” The third is “Man with a Movie Camera.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“That’s not a film,” protests Chris.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Of course it is,” Sarah explains, showing that her knowledge of film exceeds Chris’s. “‘Man with a Movie Camera,’ the first real documentary. Dziga Vertov.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Oh,” Chris says.</div><div><br /></div><div>Yvette comforts the cameraman: “Don’t let it hassle you, Chris. They’re both a pair of snobs. Anyway, a documentary isn’t a real film.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Due to the drugs, Chris sleeps on the sofa while Yvette takes Sarah to the rooftop pool. As the “games” continue, Sarah encounters a half-inflated sex doll in the pool. Of course, she screams and swims away, as we realize the doll has blood on it, in a grotesque parody of the bloody woman on the beach.</div><div><br /></div><div>Dominic suggests watching some of his secret films. He sits down for the camera and attempts to walk back his earlier comment about the possibility of snuff films. “I’ve heard of films where they do actually knock off the little darlings, but frankly I don’t believe it. Think of the problems. The crew talking, the questions, the hassles. No, I don’t believe it.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Next, Sarah and Yvette have sex amid glittery gold sheets. In a clever bit of editing, the filmmakers show that their lovemaking is being recorded by Dominic’s hidden cameras, and the shot is framed so the coffee table looks a bit like a skull. While Sarah’s perception of sex is golden and hazy and heavenly, filling the frame, the video recording is stark, poorly framed, and surrounded by darkness.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_BqH28YL7yfBJYxRCfug9WYd2uv5wPPGtAL28BgYZ1_gpNZHVBNhb5b-SX3DO_yNl5VaXEJccEDi5chGfOwaKhXSaXS9AdoaHeLhRADsC-bJPeMbg2FpLLsb_1dAvyddVV-BU-KTRAAcWlsXRFKEdfg4APB28_6IJZA1judps1p-jMwDQ7_9HGjiBZVZc/s2224/GLITTERY%20SEX.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1175" data-original-width="2224" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_BqH28YL7yfBJYxRCfug9WYd2uv5wPPGtAL28BgYZ1_gpNZHVBNhb5b-SX3DO_yNl5VaXEJccEDi5chGfOwaKhXSaXS9AdoaHeLhRADsC-bJPeMbg2FpLLsb_1dAvyddVV-BU-KTRAAcWlsXRFKEdfg4APB28_6IJZA1judps1p-jMwDQ7_9HGjiBZVZc/w400-h211/GLITTERY%20SEX.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiwwMQHSYYuIWZCDIteDSVtlS0N2nDbJDl92149tQlYVNqMF-DNxlOctoPA0vwyMvxudNSEAr2XbFr7WGnMXdSUvgG22dT1CgEBXCNdb5wzkjmwM2VhRqn9SQ1sOTl4w0YviQNEBJ8tJu8kTxVbaP9OXPCCzUbGbf3lnDFhMaIfJ9FaVjjQBRlaY_564fl/s2224/VIDEO%20RECORDING.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1237" data-original-width="2224" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiwwMQHSYYuIWZCDIteDSVtlS0N2nDbJDl92149tQlYVNqMF-DNxlOctoPA0vwyMvxudNSEAr2XbFr7WGnMXdSUvgG22dT1CgEBXCNdb5wzkjmwM2VhRqn9SQ1sOTl4w0YviQNEBJ8tJu8kTxVbaP9OXPCCzUbGbf3lnDFhMaIfJ9FaVjjQBRlaY_564fl/w400-h223/VIDEO%20RECORDING.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The next morning, Chris and Sarah wander onto the balcony and see a woman in the jacuzzi. “There’s that bloody doll again,” Chris says, despite the fact it is clearly a real woman (who looks like Yvette) in the jacuzzi with blood on her face.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEU9uDXHvQY9Sgdulq332_eZ4bBYY8SQzum7EAtwWp8yriMgJ577-CQgV5iy720H33_YvZUbDZ-MuFtIma_xjVrh2MYGv0kI8FeSyjr8SaXA99XHolezMYr1bv_Og4LtMUE02s684rolYpKZMM22mRPd8IVzmxqr0gKTVhLLywX2EYXB1_jHrH_r9rqv-k/s2224/WOMAN%20IN%20JACUZZI.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1181" data-original-width="2224" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEU9uDXHvQY9Sgdulq332_eZ4bBYY8SQzum7EAtwWp8yriMgJ577-CQgV5iy720H33_YvZUbDZ-MuFtIma_xjVrh2MYGv0kI8FeSyjr8SaXA99XHolezMYr1bv_Og4LtMUE02s684rolYpKZMM22mRPd8IVzmxqr0gKTVhLLywX2EYXB1_jHrH_r9rqv-k/w400-h213/WOMAN%20IN%20JACUZZI.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>When they look back at the jacuzzi, the woman is gone, but there is blood in the water.</div><div><br /></div><div>Dominic hands both of them drinks, which he has secretly drugged. He leads them to the living room, where a groggy Chris watches a groggy Sarah make love with a black-haired woman who has recently arrived to the apartment. Dominic eggs Chris on: “She’s taking Sarah away from you. Taking Sarah away. You’ve got to blow her away.” Dominic gives Chris a handgun.</div><div><br /></div><div>After trying to fire the empty gun twice, Chris loads it and then fires it when the woman kisses Sarah.</div><div><br /></div><div>Chris and Sarah suddenly wake up in bed. Was the gun murder a dream?</div><div><br /></div><div>The answer is quickly revealed to be “no” as Chris and Sarah wander again into the living room to see Dominic watching a video on his projection TV — a video that shows (with suspenseful cuts) Chris shooting the woman in the eye.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Convincing, isn’t it?” Dominic says.</div><div><br /></div><div>“You faked it, you bastard!” Chris says.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Faked? Yes. Maybe. Any intrusion of privacy makes things unreal. You invaded mine.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Chris realizes Dominic is trying to blackmail them. </div><div><br /></div><div>Suddenly, Yvette walks into the room, and Chris reacts as if he had shot Yvette in the video, though the woman kissing Sarah looked nothing like Yvette. Chris, relieved that he apparently did not kill Yvette, says, “Games. Silly bloody games!”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Dear heart, the camera never lies,” Dominic says. “You’re in.” He explains that there is no way out for Chris and Sarah now that Dominic has videotaped blackmail on them.</div><div><br /></div><div>Chris rushes into the kitchen and looks through cabinets, finding a handgun. When Yvette chases him, he pushes her against a wall and she falls down, apparently unconscious. </div><div><br /></div><div>Ignoring Yvette, Chris confronts Dominic with the gun, attempting to get the incriminating videotape. Dominic leads Chris upstairs to his secret monitor cabinet. “This is my biggest toy yet,” he says. “From here I can shoot anywhere in the house.” He adds, “So much more fun than rock music.” (It is unclear why Dominic thought it necessary to add this last phrase; of course videotaping your own house using tiny monitors in a closet is more fun than rock music.)</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfguHGvXVQsJsxRpyRxNxOWEdFg4q3CzNefObHA-aXfTRod9pPQTu1PGeeKqrARno6Dy7KKxyIZu5aGZCDd7mUQif_fdtLLLocn3ssR0Mx9VvWXY5tJx2dSXRaNFmo55FB80kVL_ixJTuSkIPO23nFtMYiRV0GlJBxAwEPIj8FJFTf5yupFmddltxahA1-/s2023/VIDEO%20CABINET.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1372" data-original-width="2023" height="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfguHGvXVQsJsxRpyRxNxOWEdFg4q3CzNefObHA-aXfTRod9pPQTu1PGeeKqrARno6Dy7KKxyIZu5aGZCDd7mUQif_fdtLLLocn3ssR0Mx9VvWXY5tJx2dSXRaNFmo55FB80kVL_ixJTuSkIPO23nFtMYiRV0GlJBxAwEPIj8FJFTf5yupFmddltxahA1-/w400-h271/VIDEO%20CABINET.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Dominic takes a videotape from the closet. Chris follows him out to the balcony, where he is surprised by Yvette behind him. Chris shoots Yvette impulsively. When Yvette gets up, he shoots her again in a manner that can only be described as cruel.</div><div><br /></div><div>“You stupid little man!” Dominic yells, climbing onto the balcony railing. “No imagination. Tapes can be duplicated, you know.” He twists the metaphorical dagger: “You’re dead. And do you know why? Because you can’t play and you don’t know the rules.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Dominic climbs over the balcony railing and lets himself fall over the edge. (Chris doesn’t bother looking over the railing to see if Dominic has fallen to the ground.)</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8LOLkQtVlnTFyjLtBmYG_DHfSfi6M24cc4oVXEbbIvAw723Ox0jKNnV2ev85smxXHGIK3IUXPa_jeeMdUb0VRcY5hU7BGSR3pPG5dJIZgE6X4VqtRgwbti4onADUwwfzB9eavalbUU2mRgkm0otWRu2vq_kP05Uhul6-aT3FzbTDoi1VgSFlpprrDngWS/s2313/DOMINIC%20FALLING.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1233" data-original-width="2313" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8LOLkQtVlnTFyjLtBmYG_DHfSfi6M24cc4oVXEbbIvAw723Ox0jKNnV2ev85smxXHGIK3IUXPa_jeeMdUb0VRcY5hU7BGSR3pPG5dJIZgE6X4VqtRgwbti4onADUwwfzB9eavalbUU2mRgkm0otWRu2vq_kP05Uhul6-aT3FzbTDoi1VgSFlpprrDngWS/w400-h214/DOMINIC%20FALLING.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Chris takes the VHS tape, and he and Sarah try to escape the condominium. For unknown reasons, Chris opens a closet, only to find the body of the dark-haired woman inside.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoRBuD80-FNUjUfovFxdGl5X_hgoTAY_Lvv5MvYl176ODNEXbysiGH8ogG2E9gzUGbZuXHe1eRVprGTLyka8unIVTPDChCX7bABIErW5dxW99iC_QdiGSUFWgC7Z0teo_OhDDyT8YioaqJ3w9jiMlWJ-wJMBqIU4V2RxM_p4LQm20ahRXEeHuHhX920Lv3/s2360/BODY%20OF%20DARK%20HAIRED%20WOMAN.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1229" data-original-width="2360" height="209" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoRBuD80-FNUjUfovFxdGl5X_hgoTAY_Lvv5MvYl176ODNEXbysiGH8ogG2E9gzUGbZuXHe1eRVprGTLyka8unIVTPDChCX7bABIErW5dxW99iC_QdiGSUFWgC7Z0teo_OhDDyT8YioaqJ3w9jiMlWJ-wJMBqIU4V2RxM_p4LQm20ahRXEeHuHhX920Lv3/w400-h209/BODY%20OF%20DARK%20HAIRED%20WOMAN.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Only after seeing the body does Chris realize Dominic might be playing a deadly game, so he runs back up to the balcony, finds a convenient rope, ties it to the railing, and rappels over the edge. This takes a considerable amount of time, but eventually Chris reaches the condominium below the penthouse. He sees a net that has been set up for Dominic and realizes Dominic did not kill himself.</div><div><br /></div><div>Chris returns to the penthouse, gets his camera equipment (and Sarah), and makes his way to the elevator to the underground parking garage. They drive in their convertible out of the garage, nearly missing a closing garage door activated by Mick Major.</div><div><br /></div><div>Then, in a series of edits that are as frightening as they are confusing, Sarah rolls out of the car and Chris slams into a piece of construction equipment that beheads him instantly. The car bursts into flame.</div><div><br /></div><div>Sarah, injured and bloody, climbs to her feet and sees Mick Major. She looks at him knowingly. Then she rides the elevator back up to the penthouse in one of the film’s best composed shots.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1eNSZEBpx4BLEmIoarDMjRv7PidYvAnmoBzYde9CBGGFhiPWmd2er0HURMOhyFUja2ByZZRIffa1HglEtbkqSM04B_7qyzM7PBYOmpJzvi5ExWNqEIQeglx0lAvOWJwcb_6DnJJ2_9uKwMpr-6ng8158Plj9O4Y8s8unMtniwXiSpCnFYMs1OkCB3kiyt/s2360/ELEVATOR%20RIDE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1222" data-original-width="2360" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1eNSZEBpx4BLEmIoarDMjRv7PidYvAnmoBzYde9CBGGFhiPWmd2er0HURMOhyFUja2ByZZRIffa1HglEtbkqSM04B_7qyzM7PBYOmpJzvi5ExWNqEIQeglx0lAvOWJwcb_6DnJJ2_9uKwMpr-6ng8158Plj9O4Y8s8unMtniwXiSpCnFYMs1OkCB3kiyt/w400-h208/ELEVATOR%20RIDE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Next to the pool, Dominic talks to Sarah. “So a girl died. Maybe more. I don’t really remember. Funny thing is, it didn’t work on film. Things look better when they’re faked. But the timing’s got to be perfect. I made it all too real.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Don’t worry, Dominic,” Sarah says. “I’ve learned to play the game.”</div><div><br /></div><div>She pushes Dominic into the swimming pool, where he reveals he can’t swim before struggling in a few feet of water. When he reaches the edge of the pool, Mick Major steps on his hand, effectively drowning him. He looks at Sarah. She looks at him. </div><div><br /></div><div>The final shot shows the video equipment in the secret closet recording Dominic’s murder. Presumably, Sarah and Mick will be the new producers of snuff videos to sell to collectors—videos of murders like a middle-aged man drowning in a swimming pool, which will no doubt make a hefty, hefty profit.</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">The End </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><hr /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Final Cut is a film that appears simple on the surface but reveals complexities when analyzed more closely. The story is about playing games, with Chris believing he can trick Dominic into revealing he is responsible for snuff films and Dominic believing he can use Chris as the victim of a real snuff film. Much of the trickery and cleverness, however, is difficult for the audience to make sense of. Various women are killed (possibly), but it is never certain if any of them are dead. It is also never certain if they are the same woman or different woman, in a vague tip of the hat to Buñuel's That Obscure Object of Desire (1977). There is also the eating of salads with French dressing, a condiment that Dominic either appreciates or loathes when he says "a good French dressing is a test of anyone." In the end, the audience can never be sure of anything in Final Cut, which is the mark of a classic film.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>Doctor Pseudonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07584099620426375486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-909065385728154804.post-52141083508128042502023-08-28T04:00:00.081-07:002023-08-28T04:00:00.196-07:00"And Your Perspective on Adolf Hitler...Interesting" - Heartland of Darkness (1992)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPpl7Ths57jd6dUp16Qdxao8NO9y7awHo5WjpIywXaIID9TigjKRe_bnWaTWQbDDZaO_yjMjkJudZrIZ6d6z5JNLMVGBmq88H3vp9p81P48rBcPlV-VDwd9KnGfhl_wpBMyP5eB1OZhToBEOr3QRGoWkUIdVaDrQssTCP8Kx3CNNnpRM_vtcnmbtPl7KTg/s1194/Heartland%20of%20Darnkess%20Title.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="1194" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPpl7Ths57jd6dUp16Qdxao8NO9y7awHo5WjpIywXaIID9TigjKRe_bnWaTWQbDDZaO_yjMjkJudZrIZ6d6z5JNLMVGBmq88H3vp9p81P48rBcPlV-VDwd9KnGfhl_wpBMyP5eB1OZhToBEOr3QRGoWkUIdVaDrQssTCP8Kx3CNNnpRM_vtcnmbtPl7KTg/w640-h214/Heartland%20of%20Darnkess%20Title.png" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;">Let us voyage to the wilds of Ohio to explore the complex and recently rediscovered Satanist film Heartland of Darkness (1992) aka Blood Church aka Fallen Angels. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Of course, some of your universe's critics have tepid feelings about Heartland of Darkness. For example, reviewer El_Bustin <a href="https://letterboxd.com/el_bustin/film/heartland-of-darkness/" target="_blank">writes</a>, "Who would have thought that a satanic panic movie could be sooo boring." Reviewer D Edward <a href="https://letterboxd.com/dedward/film/heartland-of-darkness/" target="_blank">writes</a>, "It lacks the mystery to warrant so much lollygagging about." And reviewer hiruko <a href="https://letterboxd.com/hiruko/film/heartland-of-darkness/" target="_blank">writes</a>, "I couldn’t figure out of this movie is just plain bad or a self aware goof."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Read on for a more nuanced appreciation of Heartland of Darkness...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div><span><a name='more'></a></span>As do nearly all films, the film begins with someone being chased through the forest. In this case, the chasee is a bespectacled man carrying an envelope, while the chasers are various people with flashlights, all of whom wear sunglasses at night. The man is quickly caught and the envelope retrieved. “Where are the negatives?” asks one of the chasers. Of course, the chasee does not turn them over, so he is strung up on a tree and stabbed with a small steak knife.</div><div><br /></div><div>The film proper begins with an unpleasant shot of a dead raccoon in the town of Copperton, Ohio. Paul Henson and his college-age daughter Christine are reopening the town newspaper, the Copperton Chronicle, and they hire a secretary named Evelyn and a reporter named Shannon within seconds of each other (not at all suspiciously). Just as quickly, Paul runs outside to harass the Sheriff as he walks by. Unfortunately for Paul, the Sheriff has no news for him, and Paul gets angry about this. The Sheriff mirrors that anger: “You people are all the same, aren’t you? You think you can just walk all over people to get a scoop! God damn bloodsuckers!” Then he adds calmly, “Kid found a body out by the Daly place. Guy’s been dead a couple hours. I’m heading out there now. Find your own damn ride.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Of course, Shannon and Paul find the crime scene, where someone has been eviscerated.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDGLx8MducR9hP4CY4SgtyfTXZAvznnKg6eQH6WjNQ-f316eqnjiGECSu7e1RBgJIFXWPBwpooAC_-sdVv_v60CH416fPeWBbteiXByGsazNFJKDPpclE7rmszSA1OLDkIo5a35tpL0tgiixqm61m46ofEWZBE108wl0KESeIVZF4SDAxwEVzf6hOOYDrC/s1639/BODY.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1221" data-original-width="1639" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDGLx8MducR9hP4CY4SgtyfTXZAvznnKg6eQH6WjNQ-f316eqnjiGECSu7e1RBgJIFXWPBwpooAC_-sdVv_v60CH416fPeWBbteiXByGsazNFJKDPpclE7rmszSA1OLDkIo5a35tpL0tgiixqm61m46ofEWZBE108wl0KESeIVZF4SDAxwEVzf6hOOYDrC/w400-h297/BODY.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Shannon refuses to go near the corpse so Paul says, possibly insensitively, “Hey, it’s okay. He’s a John Doe. They don’t even know who he is.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“It’s nothing,” she replies ambiguously.</div><div><br /></div><div>Back at the office, Shannon shows Paul photographs of the corpse they just investigated. She doesn’t believe the man was killed because of drugs, which was the Sheriff’s conclusion. “Paul, I’ve done a lot of drug follow-ups and this doesn’t look like anything on that order. Take a look at the marks on the leg. The entry point. That’s not even torture. It’s more like…God, I don’t know.” Although she doesn’t explain what on earth a “drug follow-up” might be, Paul encourages her to chase the story.</div><div><br /></div><div>Then Paul visits the nearby grocery store to buy a light bulb, where he encounters Reverend Donavan, the town minister. Even though Paul mentions that he and his daughter don’t “really go to church,” the reverend tells them he expects to see them in church.</div><div><br /></div><div>The filmmakers then reveal disturbing details about the town of Copperton: Reverend Donavan meets a young woman (played by Linnea Quigley) wearing revealing black clothing in the local cemetery. After giving her a necklace, he and the young woman discuss what sounds like a diabolical plan. “Copperton has several new arrivals,” he says. “Inquisitive and fresh. They must be integrated.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The woman smiles. “The shepherd must increase his flock.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Don’t challenge my authority, Julia.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“I wouldn’t think of it. Your control is firm, Reverend. You should have no fear from me.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“I want their souls,” he admits, and the two kiss passionately in the middle of the cemetery. He then removes her black dress.</div><div><br /></div><div>At the church on Sunday, Paul and Christine indeed attend services, where Reverend Donavan welcomes them to the community. Speaking in a notably sinister manner, the minister gives a sermon about discipline. “I speak today about discipline. Discipline of all of us, not just the smaller members of our society.” He glances at a row of pregnant women sitting at the back of the church. Glaring at his parishioners, the young reverend says, “By discipline, I mean the complete refusal to tolerate anyone who tries to infect us with the disease of their own ideas.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Paul squirms uncomfortably in his seat, but his daughter Christine smiles.</div><div><br /></div><div>Reverend Donavan leans forward and raises his hand authoritatively (one might almost compare his manner to Adolf Hitler’s). “We have the power to control our own destiny. And we must not let others take that away from us. We must not disappoint the Master when he returns to inherit his kingdom.”</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFNp4YYswiuuaK2JSfsUSrnSShTO7UAyZ7n1dy3OvrcRrqvzn5i5Jxup2UMkWnQMXNAmJpwnYg1hw3HuJ4za54LtGnTUSqakCzRWr-DXTj1OxWzFeubPpiNI6Z-8_nM7pj_Z4_KizZttHAILX3dCsTlDNZryz7iI2aTS3cfjlFw6dcuLH6lJCvwRmm6SAP/s1637/REVEREND%20AS%20HITLER.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1225" data-original-width="1637" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFNp4YYswiuuaK2JSfsUSrnSShTO7UAyZ7n1dy3OvrcRrqvzn5i5Jxup2UMkWnQMXNAmJpwnYg1hw3HuJ4za54LtGnTUSqakCzRWr-DXTj1OxWzFeubPpiNI6Z-8_nM7pj_Z4_KizZttHAILX3dCsTlDNZryz7iI2aTS3cfjlFw6dcuLH6lJCvwRmm6SAP/w400-h299/REVEREND%20AS%20HITLER.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Shannon, meanwhile, goes to the library to research true crime, but she finds the library books redacted. She asks the librarian why the pages have been marked up and the librarian replies sinisterly, “Protection.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Protection? From what?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“From…you!”</div><div><br /></div><div>Shannon backs out of the library fearfully.</div><div><br /></div><div>When Paul visits the local hardware store to get a typewriter ribbon, he stumbles into a storage room full of red crosses and, horrifically, what appears to be a black cat nailed to a board.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXJzFYCRHBZYarGh0_d6bKoH_SLrTaUnJfzYluTOO_4Lh_oGyaZehfVDkFWWQtlUS-AliCnArDkKfo_O3x-F6xbxaaUzqbGU1KIgNbfJhRr9r8nf1FM27MWyQ8brV4Eh3w6au7JdWCKXz7xAy1hx9_nMdLc2fehJA5pm_WIJKgDyDRHNlTCYEyl9iqWtja/s1610/CAT%20NAILED%20TO%20BOARD.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1211" data-original-width="1610" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXJzFYCRHBZYarGh0_d6bKoH_SLrTaUnJfzYluTOO_4Lh_oGyaZehfVDkFWWQtlUS-AliCnArDkKfo_O3x-F6xbxaaUzqbGU1KIgNbfJhRr9r8nf1FM27MWyQ8brV4Eh3w6au7JdWCKXz7xAy1hx9_nMdLc2fehJA5pm_WIJKgDyDRHNlTCYEyl9iqWtja/w400-h301/CAT%20NAILED%20TO%20BOARD.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>On his way back to the newspaper office, Paul literally runs into the reverend’s friend Julia (or more accurately, he runs into her cleavage), who introduces herself as Christine’s teacher. “Call me Julia, Paul…anytime,” she says as she walks away.</div><div><br /></div><div>In a quick scene demonstrating that the filmmakers don’t want the audience to be lost or confused, the reverend, dressed in black leather and wearing black sunglasses, leads a gang to the hardware store to punish the proprietor for leaving his storeroom unlocked.</div><div><br /></div><div>At the newspaper office, Shannon shows Paul several books she found documenting nearby towns where Satanists killed various people. (It is never explained how Shannon got the books, as the library books were redacted, or why the books have such childish illustrations apparently drawn with magic markers.)</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmFNhfIdfMUeuN-94BrJKI5R70BX7EIbv5tnvAVv36f08lqoA5X_iaZm2ZURwsQLE4qZXb7Gmr9AQyHdiKo0hkDC6hDpSbiZPrt0bcxUaOYMpLC6pd_i5Duv84szrU6GGLvG-RD4utQDJ7u_AYEuYgX3eaIKu990Apmahjdh8QTSsffzBfVjzDxC8hKOIG/s1613/ILLUSTRATIONS.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1199" data-original-width="1613" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmFNhfIdfMUeuN-94BrJKI5R70BX7EIbv5tnvAVv36f08lqoA5X_iaZm2ZURwsQLE4qZXb7Gmr9AQyHdiKo0hkDC6hDpSbiZPrt0bcxUaOYMpLC6pd_i5Duv84szrU6GGLvG-RD4utQDJ7u_AYEuYgX3eaIKu990Apmahjdh8QTSsffzBfVjzDxC8hKOIG/w400-h297/ILLUSTRATIONS.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Another grotesque corpse is found in a field, this one of a teenage girl who told Reverend Donavan she was going away to college. The Sheriff yells at Paul, telling him his muckraking story on Satanists is getting people killed. Paul sees a scar-tissue cross on the girl’s wrist, similar to a marking on Julia’s wrist as well as the book illustration.</div><div><br /></div><div>Paul and Shannon visit the district attorney, who is just as dismissive of the Satanist idea as everyone else in town. “I can’t really help you guys. I think you’re jumping to conclusions.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Paul rockets out of his seat. “Conclusions? For Christ’s sakes, sir, you have two people, one of them a teenage girl, hacked up and you think it’s all related to drugs? You’re crazy!”</div><div><br /></div><div>As Paul yells at the DA, Shannon notices a bizarre Satanic skull on the man’s desk.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbzUCVZJjg2kejjgBW2s-VyA0QG3wKe-Fb1kK4W9sz0d76P9XZMD7iBsWLaNGEKovU6fHSwcDMgMXcJogEF9WJQafZz7sHTAvtKvpEbwkeWjGQs0ZCpPbdSAGTa5BVKpUh_V_UnrQLlNhTHqeaZ9_YJKKAYED_5mS0ZlH2UtZBQGB59PawCqI5wQF26sNq/s1632/SKULL.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1083" data-original-width="1632" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbzUCVZJjg2kejjgBW2s-VyA0QG3wKe-Fb1kK4W9sz0d76P9XZMD7iBsWLaNGEKovU6fHSwcDMgMXcJogEF9WJQafZz7sHTAvtKvpEbwkeWjGQs0ZCpPbdSAGTa5BVKpUh_V_UnrQLlNhTHqeaZ9_YJKKAYED_5mS0ZlH2UtZBQGB59PawCqI5wQF26sNq/w400-h265/SKULL.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>When Paul sees the skull, which is clearly evidence the DA is a Satanist, he says, “You got lousy taste in paperweights, Counselor.”</div><div><br /></div><div>That night, Paul and Shannon watch a TV news report indicating a hospital was broken into and all twelve babies in the maternity ward were kidnapped.</div><div><br /></div><div>The next day, a man introducing himself as Reverend Kane visits the newspaper office to give Paul and Shannon helpful information. He delivers one of cinema’s great monologues: “I’ve spent my life traveling to hundreds of towns like Copperton. Small, tiny spots on the map that no one seems to ever pay any attention to, except when something bizarre occurs, something no one can explain. Some label it druggies, hippies, freaks. But they all have something in common, a basic common element of pure evil. Malicious intent? Oh yes, quite. Only their intent goes much deeper and darker than others ever imagined. A Satanic cult? Very interesting. Someone here finally has the courage to speak up.” He also tells them that a man named Dobson killed infants in Copperton ten years earlier. “The local police labeled it a simple case of sick insanity, but it went much deeper than that. If you truly have this type of situation here, I’ll be able to identify it.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Paul, Shannon, and Kane visit Dobson in the local prison. (Oddly, Kane called the man “good old black Dobson,” but Dobson is a white man.) Perhaps predictably, Dobson is not forthcoming. He also has a painfully deep voice. “Where is the holy place?” Reverend Kane asks the killer.</div><div><br /></div><div>Dobson spits on Kane, not giving our protagonists any useful information. They leave quickly, allowing Dobson to mumble “I didn’t tell them anything” to an unseen presence in his cell.</div><div><br /></div><div>While Shannon returns to the library, Paul and Kane investigate the local quarry, where the older gentleman Kane has a great deal of trouble climbing down a hill of dirt, receiving no help at all from Paul. They find a sacrificial altar out in the open in the quarry.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif9EuobWlBGt6G48fg3iOI6Hj76VL9T4fwS-Vt1r3EknWYMj17WkYOHHVAFAf26ryBCQ1eB1DXzaSOdLMNGRJ9h5m8PSO4BrLMGv4uE8wKtXwOFqMsNYn1ZaL2lNg1L8RdshB4XZhfDGUqgGcPEOQWKpXVbCaFK6qOOPQ2wKXkeSet0EJdZFLkTIU0qEtt/s1635/ALTAR.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1188" data-original-width="1635" height="291" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif9EuobWlBGt6G48fg3iOI6Hj76VL9T4fwS-Vt1r3EknWYMj17WkYOHHVAFAf26ryBCQ1eB1DXzaSOdLMNGRJ9h5m8PSO4BrLMGv4uE8wKtXwOFqMsNYn1ZaL2lNg1L8RdshB4XZhfDGUqgGcPEOQWKpXVbCaFK6qOOPQ2wKXkeSet0EJdZFLkTIU0qEtt/w400-h291/ALTAR.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Although the bones are mostly animal skulls, and one adult human hand, Reverend Kane concludes that newborn babies were sacrificed to Satan. “This happens all the time, all over. Usually it’s an isolated case. Police figure one of the parents took it. Never like this. Never.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Paul picks up a damaged pair of sunglasses while Kane says he wants to speak to the local preacher (whom Paul calls a psycho). They visit the church with Shannon and find that Reverend Donavan is, subtly, wearing his crucifix upside-down.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgL7x1u3X6J1KSQTGIDZNICq2qcgZ7Hxl4N7MBlbsLphnuX5Dk8Int_kUrB6znYDCGakf-sSfdwvUGT1stwvBnhEvZ-UbhQObJL_NUig3SF92ksy7dFkWcZDnv2kLvy0kAl7mxvSxtO-NAMZAjXfXj4SSTV-VsgKFqns0YkOyvSoU6889p6tASnLbKGnkbF/s1614/UPSIDE-DOWN%20CROSS.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1207" data-original-width="1614" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgL7x1u3X6J1KSQTGIDZNICq2qcgZ7Hxl4N7MBlbsLphnuX5Dk8Int_kUrB6znYDCGakf-sSfdwvUGT1stwvBnhEvZ-UbhQObJL_NUig3SF92ksy7dFkWcZDnv2kLvy0kAl7mxvSxtO-NAMZAjXfXj4SSTV-VsgKFqns0YkOyvSoU6889p6tASnLbKGnkbF/w400-h299/UPSIDE-DOWN%20CROSS.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Reverend Donavan, instead of playing dumb or attempting to hide anything, confronts Reverend Kane. “My church obeys the rules I create. Not some long-ago superstitious ideology that speaks of right and wrong, good and evil. The church is the creation of its believers, not the other way around.” As he takes his leave, he quotes Isaiah: “And they shall go forth and look upon the dead bodies of the men that have rebelled against me, for their worms shall not die, their fires shall not be quenched, and they shall be an abhorrence to all flesh.”</div><div><br /></div><div>At the (peculiarly empty) high school, Christine is approached by her teacher (whose full name is Julia Francine), who asks about Christine’s perceptions of the local curriculum. “I never heard of Aleister Crowley or his works. And your perspective on Adolf Hitler and his position on complete authority. Interesting.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Julia tries to recruit Christine to the town’s beliefs. “Tell me, Christine, Wouldn’t you want to be one of us? Control your own destiny. Dominate others. See your dreams and fantasies come to life before your very eyes?”</div><div><br /></div><div>In a frightening scene, Shannon and Paul find out the mayor is part of the Satanist cult when Shannon leads through a copy of the Bible, all the pages of which are completely blank!</div><div><br /></div><div>Back at the newspaper office, Paul, Shannon, and Reverend Kane helpfully discuss their new theory that the town is full of Satanists led by Reverend Donavan. They are unaware the room is bugged and Donavan is listening, along with the other town bigwigs. </div><div><br /></div><div>Later, Reverend Donavan and his shades-wearing cohorts force the DA to inject himself with something that appears dangerous and painful. “Put it in your arm,” the reverend orders, perhaps referencing the classic Dead and Buried (1981), “or we’ll put it in your eye!” (He puts it in his arm, though some audience members might argue perhaps he could have escaped his situation, given that his tormentors handed him the only weapon in the room.)</div><div><br /></div><div>The same night, Paul has a heartfelt talk with Christine in her bedroom, where Paul appears incapable of not stroking his daughter’s hair for the length of their conversation.</div><div><br /></div><div>Soon after, Reverend Kane confronts Reverend Donavan in the church. Donavan, tossing away a book, quips, “Aleister Crowley. A man well ahead of his time. A great Satanist, but a poor leader of souls.”</div><div><br /></div><div>When Kane calls him a sick, pathetic creature, Donavan responds eloquently (and accurately), “Innocent people have died all over the world at different times in history.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Kane pulls out a handgun, but one of Donavan’s henchmen hits the poor old man with a baseball bat. Kane stumbles out of the church while Donavan laughs. Outside, Kane is chased by the henchmen, now wearing cloaks as well as sunglasses, until the Satanists stop him. Donavan lifts the old man with one hand, telling him, “You’ll be our latest sacrifice. But don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of company. Tell your God about me. Warn him!”</div><div><br /></div><div>“You’ll rot in Hell!”</div><div><br /></div><div>“How exciting.” Donavan slits Kane’s throat with a small knife.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw3MSTncMrgNSMRx416A2fmBWyHdZsUYT5AqclPC98FrG3MNC0Rr97k_rTEiak02PDb6aJAFUiuaYuGCxc1yqPL8Gf-nrxZ2xAqcYl9ozVytFm09rajQNPhr8AQwKv4aQbxtVYEAgmO4NUDSQ_oLTnmgbshcMx5CpjNlnbfW2Am6AXv4i250qZUTPlyonz/s1650/LIGHTNING.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1215" data-original-width="1650" height="295" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw3MSTncMrgNSMRx416A2fmBWyHdZsUYT5AqclPC98FrG3MNC0Rr97k_rTEiak02PDb6aJAFUiuaYuGCxc1yqPL8Gf-nrxZ2xAqcYl9ozVytFm09rajQNPhr8AQwKv4aQbxtVYEAgmO4NUDSQ_oLTnmgbshcMx5CpjNlnbfW2Am6AXv4i250qZUTPlyonz/w400-h295/LIGHTNING.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>After a sensitive scene in a car where Paul explains to Shannon that his wife was killed by a drunk driver (this leads off course to a deep kiss), Paul returns home. Even though he is afraid the Satanists are all around, he falls asleep and has a dream in which Shannon strangles him while Christine watches. He wakes up in his real house, which is oddly full of boxes of a snack called Tato Skins, only to be surprised by Julia Francine entering his home. She tries to entice him to join the Satanist cult by pressing his hand to her breast, but he tells her to leave and then pulls a rifle from his closet to guard himself and his daughter.</div><div><br /></div><div>The next day, Reverend Kane’s body is discovered. The Sheriff gives Paul the dead man’s coat and hat, inside of which Paul finds hidden a strip of photo negatives. Through means too complex to reiterate here, Paul and Shannon discover that the man from the film’s opening somehow passed the negatives on to Reverend Kane. Naturally, Paul and Shannon quickly strip each other and have sex.</div><div><br /></div><div>Paul drives to Columbus to show photos of the dead bodies to the state attorney general, who believes the photos are sufficient evidence to put Donavan away. Paul also meets with an ex-Satanist at a bar, but the former cult member, after telling Paul the conspiracy goes as high as the attorney general, is shot in the head by a man wearing dark glasses. Paul takes the photos and runs away, stumbling past more brick buildings than one might believe existed. When he reaches his car, he finds himself in a medium-speed car chase with a pickup equipped with a camper shell. When he stops at a diner to call for help, he is assaulted by a shirtless man wearing sunglasses and wielding a blowtorch.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUhNg7szSWyL8Ff4ZSEx-2LzkhzbbsnzhNPXc7lnDx-YgvIyEZIOaZtzCWx07xNAXMkB1ZE23xTzYWEX3kp02g52BndUBVNh9FKFfrQDNE31i8_LJidNdzpS5od9KAlgd5n7_UD23F1Z2j3f5dNNZ0VY-APQaf1tk9RGblvx0pU3leR1J7TOrf6npqPyh3/s1767/SHIRTLESS%20MAN.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1212" data-original-width="1767" height="274" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUhNg7szSWyL8Ff4ZSEx-2LzkhzbbsnzhNPXc7lnDx-YgvIyEZIOaZtzCWx07xNAXMkB1ZE23xTzYWEX3kp02g52BndUBVNh9FKFfrQDNE31i8_LJidNdzpS5od9KAlgd5n7_UD23F1Z2j3f5dNNZ0VY-APQaf1tk9RGblvx0pU3leR1J7TOrf6npqPyh3/w400-h274/SHIRTLESS%20MAN.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Paul defends himself by shoving his face into the shirtless man’s chest and then somehow throwing the man through a window. Then Paul races back to Copperton, where he finds his house ransacked, the walls covered with inverted crosses painted in red. Christine is also gone.</div><div><br /></div><div>Paul drives to the church. Reverend Donavan says Christine is waiting for her daddy, then, in what can only be interpreted as some kind of cryptic double entendre, adds, “I’d offer you a glass of lemonade but…we’re still squeezing out the juice.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Reverend Donavan is joined by everyone in the entire town, plus the state attorney general (who, apropos of nothing, admits that only the governor has not been turned into a Satanist), but they allow Paul to get back into his car. He drives to the newspaper office but the building blows up. Then Paul finds the Sheriff and tells him that Donavan is responsible for the various murders. The Sheriff, apparently not part of the cult, believes Paul instantly.</div><div><br /></div><div>The Sheriff finds Reverend Donavan in the church and attempts to arrest the preacher. However, the Sheriff has not accounted for the fact that dozens of Satanists and robes are standing behind Donavan, wielding steak knives. They make short work of the Sheriff.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPAhIlP3L-PnPhiMS4X2Va3ZbrSg9sOkv2oN2RfikJ1BvHEjozE0182k3t7TeIbhfsKMFbTdrDlM4kRJqf6I_cLr4xKdcHkDBFRl6vuR5HNl9ayflSzFlUWM-Sg-5GPTXEGc1UWuWB5bD9QnpUuZKo1zgzYCUns7-VAA26v16zADcY_ad2F-ITsdcrOBgm/s2057/STEAK%20KNIVES.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1252" data-original-width="2057" height="244" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPAhIlP3L-PnPhiMS4X2Va3ZbrSg9sOkv2oN2RfikJ1BvHEjozE0182k3t7TeIbhfsKMFbTdrDlM4kRJqf6I_cLr4xKdcHkDBFRl6vuR5HNl9ayflSzFlUWM-Sg-5GPTXEGc1UWuWB5bD9QnpUuZKo1zgzYCUns7-VAA26v16zADcY_ad2F-ITsdcrOBgm/w400-h244/STEAK%20KNIVES.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, Paul and Shannon take a bus back to Columbus, where they barge into the governor’s office and convince him of the Satanist conspiracy using pictures and a recording of the attorney general. The governor gets on the phone and orders someone to put together a grand jury, and the governor will join them in a minute. </div><div><br /></div><div>After they leave the capitol building, however, a sniper shoots the governor. Paul sees Reverend Donavan get into a 1970s van and drive away before the state police take Paul and Shannon into custody to interrogate them. Paul pleads for people to help them (actually, he pushes over a table and berates them with profanity, but in any case he is successful.)</div><div><br /></div><div>The climactic sequence involves Donavan’s black mass, set to culminate in the sacrifice of Paul’s daughter Christine at the quarry.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDue5w7w-6tvy4qJvlK156VWrzdJlL5vy5hIro63XYDCK1JxtsGhAgLPm3sNbI8H-gLdxTOdimKj3Iyiha7AZHEY4t9zNsZ00hV5DkKYU-a1OvVZlvwNOw89Mcqd9or-iPON2zjDoWdCj0cmOa8Xks88V0YDzIQiz2dk-kcVDWRJk8H_3sx8gir6WIHCZ5/s1742/SACRIFICE.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1256" data-original-width="1742" height="289" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDue5w7w-6tvy4qJvlK156VWrzdJlL5vy5hIro63XYDCK1JxtsGhAgLPm3sNbI8H-gLdxTOdimKj3Iyiha7AZHEY4t9zNsZ00hV5DkKYU-a1OvVZlvwNOw89Mcqd9or-iPON2zjDoWdCj0cmOa8Xks88V0YDzIQiz2dk-kcVDWRJk8H_3sx8gir6WIHCZ5/w400-h289/SACRIFICE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The ceremony is interrupted by Shannon reciting the Lord’s Prayer, and also by Paul holding a shotgun. Paul shoots one of the Satanists, and then a helicopter flies in with state police to rescue the protagonists. In the confrontation that ensues, Donovan says, “See you in Hell” and drops into a stream, disappearing.</div><div><br /></div><div>Shockingly, however, the evil reverend is not dead! In what appears to be the denouement, the police lock Christine in a car. A state trooper shoots Shannon and the police drive away with a horrified Christine. In the end, Paul breaks into the church to find Reverend Donavan, dressed as a policeman, preparing to sacrifice Christine on the altar by hacksawing her throat. In the expertly choreographed chase and fight that ensue, Paul allows Donavan to fall from a second-story balcony. The reverend is impaled upon a cross and dies.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD8AH9K-0vTHvGXQsWRv_xdhdADYYv53jmKTfGeiGoPmqcKlBabBFc0rDYOTLM2EKQVtRYTe_iHG9MMjPlVHgok78UfA7kmo6HgVIOgqkfSGW_9yknDuu6ihZEBeJng3lbA55Gq7oZCd_2__OZThyLc-KRH2_nee3ewXqJ2OPKlX0RTkzZWYBCOaGN81h6/s1746/IMPALED.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1221" data-original-width="1746" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD8AH9K-0vTHvGXQsWRv_xdhdADYYv53jmKTfGeiGoPmqcKlBabBFc0rDYOTLM2EKQVtRYTe_iHG9MMjPlVHgok78UfA7kmo6HgVIOgqkfSGW_9yknDuu6ihZEBeJng3lbA55Gq7oZCd_2__OZThyLc-KRH2_nee3ewXqJ2OPKlX0RTkzZWYBCOaGN81h6/w400-h280/IMPALED.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Paul and Christine site on top of the church’s altar, relieved the villain has been defeated.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><hr /><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">In addition to Linnea Quigley, Heartland of Darkness features Nick Baldasare, star of Jay Woelfel's excellent Beyond Dream's Door (1989), as Reverend Donavan in a performance that can only be described as unforgettable. Mr. Baldasare throws caution and self-consciousness to the wind as the evil reverend, making it clear from the very beginning that Reverend Donavan worships Satan and Satan alone. Some might complain that lack of subtlety is a weakness of the film, but to any experienced cinephile the film's lack of subtlety is clearly its greatest strength. Instead of hiding the antagonist's plot or casting doubts about which characters are Satanists and which are simply incompetent townspeople, the filmmakers are sure to make everything perfectly clear in every scene and sequence. Nobody left the film confused or wondering about what was going on, and that is one of the highest compliments a critic can pay to a film.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">It must also be mentioned that Ohio-based Jay Woelfel contributed a good deal to Heartland of Darkness, providing its musical score and performing as the ill-fated journalist chased by Satanists. Lovers of horror cinema must give thanks again for the presence of Mr. Woelfel, and for his many contributions to the genre.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>Doctor Pseudonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07584099620426375486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-909065385728154804.post-78949816709985934502023-08-14T04:00:00.100-07:002023-08-14T04:00:00.129-07:00"This Is a Super Van!" - Blood Song (1982)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZWWNLofap2iNM4As4szHqnQgNUEhlbH_G5oXin0YgL8n-xGTidqqba-ur_Y5V1xetIfwVAKiSLwl2DtPZBnUdvtv6ssJPIuFEs6bqtOHtoHcRCbbY0e8PHBf2-3JT2Fs08-YfjfHUzYWzZb6YuU-dzRBIOWI4VmZLnk1ZE_LfZspmEY3xXrQNj-Q_YDMI/s1114/Blood%20Song%20Title.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="1114" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZWWNLofap2iNM4As4szHqnQgNUEhlbH_G5oXin0YgL8n-xGTidqqba-ur_Y5V1xetIfwVAKiSLwl2DtPZBnUdvtv6ssJPIuFEs6bqtOHtoHcRCbbY0e8PHBf2-3JT2Fs08-YfjfHUzYWzZb6YuU-dzRBIOWI4VmZLnk1ZE_LfZspmEY3xXrQNj-Q_YDMI/w640-h230/Blood%20Song%20Title.png" width="640" /></a></div>While various musical stars have turned in excellent performances in slasher films (in particular, Tiny Tim in <a href="https://www.senselesscinema.com/2017/07/blood-harvest.html" target="_blank">Blood Harvest</a> and Mickey Dolenz in <a href="https://www.senselesscinema.com/2021/02/the-night-of-the-strangler.html" target="_blank">The Night of the Strangler</a>), one might say the finest of these performances was gifted to the world by Frankie Avalon in Blood Song (1982). Let us look in detail at Blood Song, one of the few theatrical films directed by prolific TV director Alan J. Levi.<div><br /></div><div>Of course, some of your universe's critics are unnecessarily unkind to Blood Song. For example, reviewer Aaron1375 <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2380950/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "Just not all that entertaining." Reviewer Leofwine_draca <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw4072554/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">calls</a> the film "a cheesy, low budget slasher film of the early 1980s." And reviewer ceejayred <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw4078348/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "BLOOD SONG is an average thriller at best."<br /><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Read on to find out why Blood Song is most definitely not an "average thriller at best"...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div><span><a name='more'></a></span>A Tennyson quote is superimposed on a black screen in haunting red type: “Thro’ cells of madness, haunts of horror and fear…” After the opening titles, we watch an airplane land in the middle of the night. In Portland, Oregon in 1955, a man is dropped off by a taxi. When he unlocks the front door of his house, we hear sounds of shock and then gunshots. The camera pans across a horrifying tableau: a dead man and woman lie in bed, and then their killer puts the gun barrel in his mouth and fires.</div><div><br /></div><div>The traumatic scene is witnessed by a boy of about 10 years old. He looks at the carnage and then, as most boys would, he puts a homemade wooden flute to his mouth and starts playing a jaunty tune.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGH4bMPz2uVybJsgJiOWWu_Hqi9pYuSnXfP32wg8vGKxYP1VfyyiIPNAlZhB9c4p3xq4F_YOCYqk1OHph2gBDyxYECS_4fEI9qZov0ct27ahdmsR5AIoAoHXfYjVWkJXfanE8UWb65L8kCwqN4bZFgzEFc2RZNv4GZem97XTREbbGIk8WICOkp1LLV5F6n/s2224/PLAYING%20FLUTE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1611" data-original-width="2224" height="290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGH4bMPz2uVybJsgJiOWWu_Hqi9pYuSnXfP32wg8vGKxYP1VfyyiIPNAlZhB9c4p3xq4F_YOCYqk1OHph2gBDyxYECS_4fEI9qZov0ct27ahdmsR5AIoAoHXfYjVWkJXfanE8UWb65L8kCwqN4bZFgzEFc2RZNv4GZem97XTREbbGIk8WICOkp1LLV5F6n/w400-h290/PLAYING%20FLUTE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The film jumps forward to 1982. In a place called Stanford Bay, the camera pans across another bed to find a young woman lying with her eyes open. In an artistic maneuver, the camera closes in on her left eye, which dissolves to a different person’s eye and a green-tinged spiral as the young woman sees an event occurring elsewhere—she sees the corridor of a mental institution, where someone named Paulie plays a flute in the dark. Paulie suddenly kills an orderly and escapes the institution, all while being observed psychically by the young woman, Marion, played by Donna Wilkes (who would play Angel in the exploitation film Angel the next year).</div><div><br /></div><div>In the morning, Marion, who walks with a leg brace, wakes up and eats breakfast with her bickering parents (played by Richard Jaeckel and Antoinette Bower). After school, Marion spends time with her boyfriend Joey, who works on a fishing boat. She tells him she had a nightmare about Paulie killing someone.</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, as Marion walks home, she has a vision of a van trying to run her down, but she realizes it is not real. Then she has another vision, this one tinged orange instead of green, in which Frankie Avalon, playing Paulie, hitches a ride in a van on his way to San Francisco.</div><div><br /></div><div>At dinner, Marion helpfully explains the family situation as she argues with her father: “Well, it was your fault, wasn’t it? I mean, if you hadn’t been so drunk and run into that car, I wouldn’t be a cripple now, would I?” She storms off to see Joey at the docks, eventually finding he isn’t there. She then has a helpful flashback in which she gets a blood transfusion from a patient at the state mental hospital.</div><div><br /></div><div>When Joey arrives to find her, he says, “You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Kinda,” she replies eloquently.</div><div><br /></div><div>When she tells him about her dreams, he dismisses her concerns. “Everybody has bad dreams.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Not like these. I keep seeing some lunatic killing people. I’m scared.”</div><div><br /></div><div>He replies unhelpfully, “Look, all these dreams mean is that you’re going through a bad time right now. I understand, believe me.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The next day, at school, the camera pans down past a bulletin board pinned with the somewhat alarming poster that says “LAND AND SLAVES FOR SALE” before finding Marion looking worried at her desk. She has another vision, this one tinged blue and yellow, in which Mr. Avalon plays Brahms’s Lullaby on his flute in the van. He tells the driver, “My daddy made this for me just before he died. Didn’t have enough time to teach me anything else.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Well, maybe you ought to get yourself another teacher,” says the driver. “Or I’ll throw that goddamn thing out the window.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“You’re just like all the rest,” Mr. Avalon says flatly. “They tried to take it away from me too. But I got it back.”</div><div><br /></div><div>When the driver pulls to the side of the road to urinate, Mr. Avalon rather brutally slams a hatchet into the man’s head.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjcXev0qaHm_kHT9tRVeFo45Bno7f5Xumj347S55rccoHOlWuZxKn2FTdDA_Q3SpXwlqoCRCqB9pFV3_DkOkl64t3ThgwrtFldWUzpyKVNAbmBSvBNS7vmfUR3WOIUYcRXUab8NQ0yhiWx2QfM7dE5lbxGK10YqBXrnEqDk2InmBHLrmgGoyDQxcflOMmz/s2224/HATCHET%20MURDER.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1611" data-original-width="2224" height="290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjcXev0qaHm_kHT9tRVeFo45Bno7f5Xumj347S55rccoHOlWuZxKn2FTdDA_Q3SpXwlqoCRCqB9pFV3_DkOkl64t3ThgwrtFldWUzpyKVNAbmBSvBNS7vmfUR3WOIUYcRXUab8NQ0yhiWx2QfM7dE5lbxGK10YqBXrnEqDk2InmBHLrmgGoyDQxcflOMmz/w400-h290/HATCHET%20MURDER.jpg" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The film cuts back to an anxious Marion in her classroom, where the bell interrupts her vision of Mr. Avalon committing murder.</div><div><br /></div><div>The filmmakers next introduce the put-upon Sheriff in Marion’s town, who makes light of the reported escape from the mental institution because it is not in his jurisdiction. Hung over, the Sheriff lies down on the couch in his office and tells his deputy, “I don’t want to be disturbed unless World War III breaks out on Main Street.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The film then cuts to Mr. Avalon driving the van, as the filmmakers abandon the conceit of seeing Mr. Avalon only through Marion’s eyes due, presumably, to the exigencies of the story. Mr. Avalon picks up a redheaded hitchhiker who is headed toward Stanford Bay.</div><div><br /></div><div>“This is a super van,” the female hitchhiker says. “You’ve got an 8-Track! Do you mind if I play something?” She fiddles with the 8-Track player and finds his flute. “What’s that?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Don’t touch that!” Mr. Avalon yells, grabbing the flute.</div><div><br /></div><div>The stories begin to come together as Marion and Joey socialize with some friends in a diner when the van pulls up to the gas station across the street. Marion, who has had her brace removed but needs to walk with a cane, gets in a car with her friends. </div><div><br /></div><div>At night, after she is tucked in creepily by her father, Marion has a purple-tinged vision in which Mr. Avalon has sex with the hitchhiker in the local motel. As he rolls off her, he says, “That was just the first surprise. I have something for you.” Subverting audience expectations, instead of killing her immediately, he gives her a cheap necklace. She tries it on as he plays his flute (not a euphemism). When she complains, he asks seriously, “Don’t you like my music?”</div><div><br /></div><div>She quips, “Nothing personal, but not as much as you do.”</div><div><br /></div><div>He grabs the necklace chain and strangles the young woman.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicl2dU1ql__T6S3800xqf9onM4MwnEpVdvlK5OozK5lChc3H0w2L8aBhGF4Bb6wQPR0VJYydRHOiJszYyjGqM13D6jcPVByi8i1l83thUN9d_0v98n_W_FrySXBPzY092kDIIIoD-osmwu3IOPTdcj3WJAvY9Tj64FyMzlE2yXuJF3_AjrkKSLmNc8XoNY/s2224/STRANGLING%20HITCHHIKER.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1611" data-original-width="2224" height="290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicl2dU1ql__T6S3800xqf9onM4MwnEpVdvlK5OozK5lChc3H0w2L8aBhGF4Bb6wQPR0VJYydRHOiJszYyjGqM13D6jcPVByi8i1l83thUN9d_0v98n_W_FrySXBPzY092kDIIIoD-osmwu3IOPTdcj3WJAvY9Tj64FyMzlE2yXuJF3_AjrkKSLmNc8XoNY/w400-h290/STRANGLING%20HITCHHIKER.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Marion wakes up screaming. When her parents step into her bedroom, she says, “He killed her! He’s trying to kill me too, I know it!” (This is the last time Marion will have a vision; the filmmakers drop this fascinating aspect of the story as this point.)</div><div><br /></div><div>In a haunting montage, Marion walks along the beaches of her small Oregon town after sending Joey off on his fishing boat while Lainie Kazan sings a ballad called “All in Your Mind” with beautiful lyrics:</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">There’s a place you’ve never been</div><div style="text-align: center;"> And a face you’ve never seen</div><div style="text-align: center;">The vision is quite clear and you watch it disappear</div><div style="text-align: center;">All in your mind</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">There’s a song no one can hear</div><div style="text-align: center;">And a scream no one is near</div><div style="text-align: center;">Your dreams lets you see what you should never see</div><div style="text-align: center;">All in your mind</div><div style="text-align: center;">All in your mind</div><div style="text-align: center;">All in your mind</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Pushing you all along</div><div style="text-align: center;">Wishing you were never gone</div><div style="text-align: center;">See what you find</div><div style="text-align: center;">In your mind</div><div style="text-align: center;">Hold on to what you can</div><div style="text-align: center;">Others won’t understand</div><div style="text-align: center;">That which you find</div><div style="text-align: center;">In your mind</div><div style="text-align: center;">All in your mind</div><div><br /></div><div>Marion arrives at a campground in the woods, where she finds the van from her visions. She hears somebody digging. Perhaps unwisely, she rounds the corner of the van to see Mr. Avalon a few feet away, dressed all in denim and burying the hitchhiker’s body. Marion gasps and Mr. Avalon turns and sees her, gripping his hatchet!</div><div><br /></div><div>“Hello, pretty girl,” he says, smiling.</div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy9tq_afAgjEhHav3ioqUGt9Le3jPc6XZkkxLWozIAVS61wCQcDsTGhzzd66ObzNcDhhJ8FX1F8gPsv8vn-7xhA76KE4g1cS87945P5fvMkoQfOIFQdSxLt_04YHr6rJ3kw1w8woyZU-CzIbLfyp4o8__-mdvHJSelb62MusFaAhB5gJmF6dOKP_CiSGQt/s2224/FRANKIE%20AVALON%20WITH%20HATCHET.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1608" data-original-width="2224" height="289" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy9tq_afAgjEhHav3ioqUGt9Le3jPc6XZkkxLWozIAVS61wCQcDsTGhzzd66ObzNcDhhJ8FX1F8gPsv8vn-7xhA76KE4g1cS87945P5fvMkoQfOIFQdSxLt_04YHr6rJ3kw1w8woyZU-CzIbLfyp4o8__-mdvHJSelb62MusFaAhB5gJmF6dOKP_CiSGQt/w400-h289/FRANKIE%20AVALON%20WITH%20HATCHET.png" width="400" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>Marion turns to run but stumbles and loses her cane. Laughing, Mr. Avalon chases her through the forest. (It must be noted that the electronic score and foley work in this chase, full of crunching leaves so crispy they appear to have come from an 8-bit video game, are excellent.) Marion finds a group of friends picnicking in a clearing. Fortunately for everybody except Mr. Avalon, all of her friends are carrying rifles for no apparent reason.</div><div><br /></div><div>The filmmakers ratchet up the tension as Mr. Avalon’s van follows Marion’s friends’ car. When they drop her off, she looks out her window, but doesn’t see the van.</div><div><br /></div><div>In perhaps the film’s most suspenseful scene, Mr. Avalon pulls into another gas station and asks the attendant where the local high school is located, as he is considering moving to town. When the attendant tells him, Mr. Avalon creepily stuffs some cash into the man’s breast pocket. At the same time, the Sheriff arrives and walks straight to Mr. Avalon. In what might or might not be sexual banter, the Sheriff tells Mr. Avalon he has been thinking of getting a van and asks, “Is there room for two in there?”</div><div><br /></div><div>Mr. Avalon replies, “It gets kinda cozy.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The Sheriff opens the door of the van to look inside, but he is distracted by the police radio in his car and doesn’t get the chance to investigate Mr. Avalon’s murder van.</div><div><br /></div><div>At school the next day, Marion sees the van on the street outside. Although the van is gone when school ends, Marion hears some haunting musical notes as she walks home with her friend.</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, Marion leads Joey to the spot in the woods where Mr. Avalon buried the hitchhiker. Joey starts digging but finds only a garbage bag. Marion is upset that her boyfriend won’t believe her, so she voices eloquently agitated poetry: “There was a VAN here, there was a MAN here, and there was a body here! Right there!”</div><div><br /></div><div>At night, in a shot reminiscent of the grotesque Nightmares in a Damaged Brain (1981), the police find the hitchhiker’s head in a dumpster.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB9WikMOi-YIUIPPwp-IKAP5vEjc8Uv5PeqZxqAb-32vMuwVUN5AlXayHNFQku7Buuj8m4LRiRiAvdDkbbdSwVi5pxsmlcdeemqoxf2vzkAvvALpV4mjtwMHIB5H1VU34EEerXujSBz90R22M_C7X0wUfmkBds4v3u458e7srjz9ojBuX1GEY0iJJxlY3P/s2224/HITCHHIKER%E2%80%99S%20HEAD.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1604" data-original-width="2224" height="289" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB9WikMOi-YIUIPPwp-IKAP5vEjc8Uv5PeqZxqAb-32vMuwVUN5AlXayHNFQku7Buuj8m4LRiRiAvdDkbbdSwVi5pxsmlcdeemqoxf2vzkAvvALpV4mjtwMHIB5H1VU34EEerXujSBz90R22M_C7X0wUfmkBds4v3u458e7srjz9ojBuX1GEY0iJJxlY3P/w400-h289/HITCHHIKER%E2%80%99S%20HEAD.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>At Marion’s house, her drunk father confronts Marion, slapping her for spending time with Joey in his car. When her mother suggests they go to the PTA meeting, Marion’s father argues, “Screw the PTA meeting! I’m staying right here in this house” (needless to say, a sentiment many parents might agree with). He adds, “I know kids, and if we leave this house, that panting boyfriend of yours is gonna be back in here just like a shot.”</div><div><br /></div><div>After Marion goes to her room, her mother scolds her father: “She’s your only daughter. Don’t you have any love left in you at all?”</div><div><br /></div><div>In a bittersweet sequence, the filmmakers cut between Marion in her room listening to rock songs and her father sitting downstairs listening to country songs as the night progresses.</div><div><br /></div><div>Late at night, the climax commences as Mr. Avalon breaks into the house and murders Marion’s father with his hatchet, bellowing, “You’re not my dad! My dad never hurt me!”</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglVkKI4c8B-O6GGdSAIy9f4IB_1kX9gzvY_LK3ZRTiyWbSs7mBHvJ7b_rYWs13YK7OeEXGEJ2FWyzpOo3uD-22iJVeX0hqApdLf2bTgA1ZnR1wz6BrIc3kaJUAT8Pa2FTVMPuPtKetUQXdFlocD24EyqxvJdYklw49YgQXLgMoZR_G4kZXDzW3fGvmUsV7/s2224/MURDER.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1616" data-original-width="2224" height="291" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglVkKI4c8B-O6GGdSAIy9f4IB_1kX9gzvY_LK3ZRTiyWbSs7mBHvJ7b_rYWs13YK7OeEXGEJ2FWyzpOo3uD-22iJVeX0hqApdLf2bTgA1ZnR1wz6BrIc3kaJUAT8Pa2FTVMPuPtKetUQXdFlocD24EyqxvJdYklw49YgQXLgMoZR_G4kZXDzW3fGvmUsV7/w400-h291/MURDER.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Marion runs out of the house. Mr. Avalon chases her to the timber mill where her father works. In the dark building, she hears Mr. Avalon playing a lullaby on his flute. “Your name is Marion, isn’t it?” he asks as she climbs a staircase. “They think you’re crazy.”</div><div><br /></div><div>He corners her in a room, but she finds a sharp tool used to hook logs and she stabs him in the stomach.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGA1SHXYEcPoLQXQqdGpxUoTMo7nGnjtN09OysZ-LkmEKaixt3uOjYF_AkRQCkCiYYSQuSTTPrrklRBHwDYciup6IzI-pyGkLNGBOnHei90jfLDD6LGJne9ag9u5ufCpyHVoWP5r_cO_D6txlnaLEXQU-KI6WYDOIBWTSb7uCkfFCY0J8oUCXAUMjvuptA/s2224/STABBING.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1591" data-original-width="2224" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGA1SHXYEcPoLQXQqdGpxUoTMo7nGnjtN09OysZ-LkmEKaixt3uOjYF_AkRQCkCiYYSQuSTTPrrklRBHwDYciup6IzI-pyGkLNGBOnHei90jfLDD6LGJne9ag9u5ufCpyHVoWP5r_cO_D6txlnaLEXQU-KI6WYDOIBWTSb7uCkfFCY0J8oUCXAUMjvuptA/w400-h286/STABBING.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>“You hurt me,” Mr. Avalon sobs, incredulous. “You really hurt me.” He continues to chase her through the cavernous building, where some machinery is running and some is not. “You’re not being fair, Marion. Come on out and play. Come out, pretty girl.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Marion hides inside a large pipe, and when Mr. Avalon finds her she stabs him and continues to run.</div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, perhaps in order to ease the tension, the filmmakers cut back to Marion’s house, where the Sheriff is investigating her father’s murder.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the climax, Mr. Avalon drives a forklift toward Marion’s hiding place. He impales the only person working in the mill on the forklift’s forks, then screams “This is fun!” while driving the forklift around the mill. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6wnB_OK2sIunMqgbzyBWH0IR3yPnEwhfXttGPcgvsVnrJxC4tG7bq9Du0KMMgYcA6W2etr3id8yHUMY8vGn32Vi3MifTi2K8mNSRcs2EBAMC-7TusX47BNggyax3YU8svjnexPJ5c5E6lxiz3oqpoEXKdPBAdP3V0FkC-MK7Qt1GNvK9fckkfGcsIK3W5/s2224/FRANKIE%20DRIVING%20FORKLIFT.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1621" data-original-width="2224" height="291" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6wnB_OK2sIunMqgbzyBWH0IR3yPnEwhfXttGPcgvsVnrJxC4tG7bq9Du0KMMgYcA6W2etr3id8yHUMY8vGn32Vi3MifTi2K8mNSRcs2EBAMC-7TusX47BNggyax3YU8svjnexPJ5c5E6lxiz3oqpoEXKdPBAdP3V0FkC-MK7Qt1GNvK9fckkfGcsIK3W5/w400-h291/FRANKIE%20DRIVING%20FORKLIFT.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Perhaps unwisely, Marion hides on top of a palette of lumber, allowing Mr. Avalon to use the forklift to pick up the palette and deposit her conveniently in front of him. She jumps into the forklift’s cab while he is reversing, but she falls off. She can only watch as he drives the forklift through a wall, causing an electrical fire, and then the vehicle drives off a dock into the sea.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the denouement, the police rescue Marion. She tells them she killed the man who killed her daddy. </div><div><br /></div><div>The damaged forklift is hauled out of the harbor, and a body is recovered from the sea as well: the sawmill employee’s body.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the coda, a hitchhiking Mr. Avalon is picked up by a kind driver.</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">In another coda, Marion is strapped to a hospital bed and injected with a sedative. She has been admitted to the state hospital. A man wearing a doctor’s outfit enters her room. Shockingly, it is Mr. Avalon! He smiles at her and says, “Hello, Marion.” </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><hr /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">The highlight of Blood Song, of course, is Frankie Avalon's performance as the flute-obsessed killer. Mr. Avalon portrays Paulie's split personality well, delivering most of his lines with the smooth charm one would expect from the singer and beach movie star, then shifting into a chillingly flat affect when someone insults his flute playing. It is truly a performance for the ages, and it is unfortunate this is the last of Mr. Avalon's horror films (which include Michael Armstrong's Horror House in 1969), as he would have made an effective horror villain in future movies.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">In addition to Mr. Avalon's performance, the film cleverly blends the minimalism of its main plot with the supernatural element of Marion's visions, caused by the transfusion of blood inexplicably donated by Mr. Avalon's institutionalized character. The film could have developed the visions further, perhaps explaining why a killer's blood would create a psychic connection with the blood recipient, or perhaps explaining why Marion sees not Mr. Avalon's point of view but a well-edited cinematic vision of events. In any case, the psychic visions are a fascinating element of the film before they are ignored halfway through the narrative. Similarly, Mr. Avalon's obsession with the flute his father made for him is another fascinating element before it is ignored soon before the climactic stalking sequence. One can only imagine how effective the sequel would have been if all these elements were again blended together, and if Mr. Avalon hadn't given up horror for Back to the Beach (1987).</div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>Doctor Pseudonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07584099620426375486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-909065385728154804.post-90328085596742698922023-07-31T04:00:00.119-07:002023-07-31T04:00:00.137-07:00“Why Don’t You Go Hide Your Salami Yourself?” - Death by Dialogue (1988)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi17Aydud-g0oYGKdqgSl_8wuTyv7Y9dlTEL97FB4Pn05Xf2e6PcXVUIxCakE2jN2lGgDZjIS5mIbodCWNwMXBB16kSEJ0CoUHiYSRsCgolqWIEZqoNF3lDfUbeVjeRZSTkqoTcAoGQem2j8YgIdvhtbZV9fWAAFOn5Ivi-XU59nklFS9OwueuKLvJBDWys/s1088/Death%20by%20Dialogue%20Title.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="1088" height="236" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi17Aydud-g0oYGKdqgSl_8wuTyv7Y9dlTEL97FB4Pn05Xf2e6PcXVUIxCakE2jN2lGgDZjIS5mIbodCWNwMXBB16kSEJ0CoUHiYSRsCgolqWIEZqoNF3lDfUbeVjeRZSTkqoTcAoGQem2j8YgIdvhtbZV9fWAAFOn5Ivi-XU59nklFS9OwueuKLvJBDWys/w640-h236/Death%20by%20Dialogue%20Title.png" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;">Let us now return to the works of producer Joseph Merhi as we explore his 1988 mind-warping masterpiece Death by Dialogue, a film about a cursed screenplay that alters reality itself.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Some of your universe's critics, unfortunately, do not hail Death by Dialogue as the masterpiece it clearly is. For example, reviewer dead_dudeINthehouse (almost certainly a nom de plume) <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw0256063/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "I won't even talk about the storyline as it's very BORING -not to say stupid." Reviewer insomniac_rod (possibly a nom de plume?) <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1102422/?ref_=tt_urv">writes</a>, "Please, stay away from this trash and don't get fooled by the cover art or the premise, which is as dumb as you can get." And reviewer sfhjsth802 (clearly not a nom de plume) <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw0256062/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "If I were to get technical, this is an awful movie, easily one of the worst ever made."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Read on for the truth about Death by Dialogue...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div><span><a name='more'></a></span>The film begins as a shadowy, be-Stetsoned figure moves through a cobwebby basement. He opens a trunk, is bathed in an unnatural light, and then literally explodes!</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS3Tzs8pmFYF5LhYtI2-493WkFNV_eHGhw9l_tGBnF0Q1n-kV0XxH7VhfL1qhYe4LIkaE4ifkgCL8hZzpC0BUUSpNiLf9JrYyXX3OZ3FtivMaEq4KynQWlq3eqsJrgJcN9h8Cufp5G778XVScrY0HQF5CVgGTRJTUbjkW7g-Rw6rwyJqQj4x7O-U7_IrB_/s1643/EXPLOSION.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1255" data-original-width="1643" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS3Tzs8pmFYF5LhYtI2-493WkFNV_eHGhw9l_tGBnF0Q1n-kV0XxH7VhfL1qhYe4LIkaE4ifkgCL8hZzpC0BUUSpNiLf9JrYyXX3OZ3FtivMaEq4KynQWlq3eqsJrgJcN9h8Cufp5G778XVScrY0HQF5CVgGTRJTUbjkW7g-Rw6rwyJqQj4x7O-U7_IrB_/w400-h305/EXPLOSION.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>In the next shot, the man is all right, having been knocked off his feet by the explosion. He returns to the chest and opens it to find a journal, which he opens to a random page and starts reading. </div><div><br /></div><div>He is interrupted by a woman named Mrs. Camden, who is either in her twenties or her fifties. She reminds the man, Mr. Thorn, that he is responsible for taking care of the outside of the house, not the basement. He takes the journal and leaves, walking through a forest at night. “That’s a good one,” he says to himself mysteriously. “Victim 66. What better place to read a script than on a movie set?” (The small, leather bound journal is in fact a movie script.)</div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, back at the house, Mrs. Camden tells another resident of the house, Mr. Joeveson, that Thorn didn’t find some mysterious thing but they should be taking more precautions.</div><div><br /></div><div>Outside, Thorn reads more of the script, including a scene in which a character named Mr. Thorn is fired. Curious, he walks through an empty Western movie location at night. The ghost town is filled with fog, and a figure even more mysterious than Thorn appears behind the fog.</div><div><br /></div><div>“What the hell is the idea behind all of this?” Thorn asks eloquently.</div><div><br /></div><div>The figure reveals itself to be a woman whom Thorn mistakes for Mrs. Camden. “Oh, I love your get-up,” Thorn quips. “I think you watch too many cartoons. Come on, Camden. Fire me. Fire me!”</div><div><br /></div><div>In response, the woman shoots Thorn with a flamethrower.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtNhM3x76G9-06vIxcRQOtpQz0q-xtBsoC5kw7ZHpMlv-uREBYb544LSwSrhucLw0JcTSjyFDNH2d3x1XKVeF6MNce3BkhZCJeppz2e6wSvjDqTp_19AS8VguOpGM4HKyUb3RDME2hP6cVNs76MKfOzloEh4MQgwuVnyiFf5tVGpxoaBMZxIZ0GN4FEkV7/s1620/FLAMETHROWER.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1245" data-original-width="1620" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtNhM3x76G9-06vIxcRQOtpQz0q-xtBsoC5kw7ZHpMlv-uREBYb544LSwSrhucLw0JcTSjyFDNH2d3x1XKVeF6MNce3BkhZCJeppz2e6wSvjDqTp_19AS8VguOpGM4HKyUb3RDME2hP6cVNs76MKfOzloEh4MQgwuVnyiFf5tVGpxoaBMZxIZ0GN4FEkV7/w400-h308/FLAMETHROWER.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>On fire, Thorn stumbles through the ghost town buildings, finally falling over dead.</div><div><br /></div><div>The film proper begins with a group of five young people driving along a rural California highway listening to a song with exceptionally fine lyrics.</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">We’re gonna have a good time</div><div style="text-align: center;">Lookin’ for some fun</div><div style="text-align: center;">I’m riding with my baby</div><div style="text-align: center;">We’re the lucky ones</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Rockin’ and a-rollin’ in a club downtown</div><div style="text-align: center;">Cruisin’ a street with the pop-top down</div><div style="text-align: center;">Just got paid, it’s a Friday night</div><div style="text-align: center;">I’ve got a feelin’ the feelin’s gonna turn out right</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">On the night of our lives</div><div style="text-align: center;">Night of our lives</div><div style="text-align: center;">Night of our lives</div><div style="text-align: center;">Night of our lives</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Lose your soul to rock and roll</div><div style="text-align: center;">Party down and lose control</div><div style="text-align: center;">Gettin’ up and getting out</div><div style="text-align: center;">Getting crazy, scream and shout</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Rockin’ and a-rollin’, feelin’ the heat</div><div style="text-align: center;">The ground is shakin’ right under your feet</div><div style="text-align: center;">We’re gonna raise hell like never before</div><div style="text-align: center;">We’re gonna party till we just can’t party no more</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">On the night of our lives</div><div style="text-align: center;">Night of our lives</div><div style="text-align: center;">Night of our lives</div><div style="text-align: center;">Night of our lives</div><div><br /></div><div>The friends reach the house beside the movie set and are greeted by Mrs. Camden, who runs the house the uncle of one of the friends. The nephew, Cary, goes with Mrs. Camden to see his uncle while the remaining young people separate into two couples. One couple, Lenny (played by Ken Sagoes, who starred as Kincaid in A Nightmare on Elm Street parts 3 and 4) and Shelly, finds a garage with tools to help them fix their car, which appears to have broken down after finding the house. They also find the fateful screenplay in the garage. The other couple, Linda and Gene, walk in the nearby forest, where they discover Thorn’s burnt corpse.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjbGadD7scbLk27i3rypUlJ9rvjQ9hJhrzKGKITkYom7Hri1GCxD_McdOLWgmcOTpzWWl_ieSQ4eleYjHVy8fKQbhJbM1JQccylOB40xpd5tuTOEEpZJmCappTcmhCeSy46iR9XnlOjx7H08O1ZdO9V83QOhYovxcOAxwLM2mMOmXJF0RfWevoDhFhENi2/s1656/BURNT%20CORPSE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1237" data-original-width="1656" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjbGadD7scbLk27i3rypUlJ9rvjQ9hJhrzKGKITkYom7Hri1GCxD_McdOLWgmcOTpzWWl_ieSQ4eleYjHVy8fKQbhJbM1JQccylOB40xpd5tuTOEEpZJmCappTcmhCeSy46iR9XnlOjx7H08O1ZdO9V83QOhYovxcOAxwLM2mMOmXJF0RfWevoDhFhENi2/w400-h299/BURNT%20CORPSE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>As in all of the best horror films, the story turns to the investigation of the police. A detective and a coroner (who, in time-honored coroner tradition, eats a sandwich while investigating the body, even in the field) determine that Thorn did not die accidentally. </div><div><br /></div><div>Detective Benjamin interrogates Cary’s uncle, Mr. Joverson, but finds no helpful information. Despite having found a recent horrific murder victim, the young people decide to stay at the property, making their beds in the “Mexican village” section of the movie location. They lounge in a living room and joke about the difference between the “Heimlich maneuver” and a “hymen remover.” Gene says, “I like this place. A regular Motel 6.”</div><div><br /></div><div>When Cary mentions that the movie sets are full of secret passageways, Gene suggests they play a game of hide and seek. “Better yet, Linda, why don’t you and I go play a game of hide the salami?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Why don’t you go hide your salami yourself?” Linda suggests.</div><div><br /></div><div>Lenny retorts, “Yeah, and as soon as you find it, we’ll find you.” Everyone laughs. (I confess I do not understand this joke, however.)</div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, Mrs. Camden tells Mr. Joverson that the magic screenplay (titled “Victim 67”) is missing from the trunk in the basement, so he tells her he must find it wherever Thorn may have taken it.</div><div><br /></div><div>In their room, the friends watch an unidentified horror movie on TV. The movie elicits a philosophical discussion from the group. Gene says seriously, “Imagine getting your head cut off. I mean, does it hurt? Do you feel it? Is it just a sharp pain and then it’s overt, or is it over before you know it, with no pain involved? Come on, think about it, man. You’re sitting there with no head.” He says he really wonders what it would be like.</div><div><br /></div><div>Lenny says about his own preference for method of death, “I want to go away as a hero. You know, with style. I don’t know how, but I want I want it to be something that people would remember. I’m sorry. Hey, I want the glory?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“I don’t find any glory in death,” says Shelly.</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, Shelly reads from the screenplay, which begins evocatively: “She came from nowhere, as if created from the bowels of the universe.” She also reads the part about firing Thorn, which confuses her.</div><div><br /></div><div>The next day, the friends play volleyball and dance (at the same time). They chase each other through the movie sets, which include the Western town and abandoned mine. They fly a kite and play frisbee as well before they eat lunch with Mr. Joverson. Shelly pays the elderly man a compliment: “Your house is really impressive. I’ve never seen so many animal heads or skins in one person’s home before.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Cary tells her there are a lot more “heads and skins” on the property, so instead of finishing lunch they immediately take a tour. One room is a veritable museum of taxidermied animals as well as rock samples. Mr. Joverson explains that much of his pre-Colombian artifacts are from the Amazon in South America, where after an emergency plane landing he and his pilot were considered to be “gods sent down from above.” These primitive tribespeople befriended Mr. Joverson and his pilot, and this fact made it possible for him to take many artifacts from the Amazon.</div><div><br /></div><div>At night, Shelly continues reading the screenplay. We see the scene she is reading, in which a young woman and woman make love in an apparently abandoned barn before they are disturbed by boards on the wall that creak and bleed. (The woman and man onscreen are Gene and Linda, but it is unclear whether Shelly is reading about characters named Gene and Linda.) The couple ignore the loud sounds until Linda is yanked backward by an unseen force and flies through the wall!</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKVVe0TDnjMH8TLxk0y47NzILT1DrRLUpZs0yDHYS4MNOs2hPKnlf0NozP_b2VN0NgVRrDWrM2y6kqDF7eJ_xNLXXpeNprZ9ZT0FPgLTFWoGwmxkhTj8z9YT46_ZoQCidGx0QftfykyXNKfgYGph796szdezmN4dghK1ocPwH4MdZ9ZRFI35Bn1ifA-TVu/s1637/FLYING%20THROUGH%20WALL.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1220" data-original-width="1637" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKVVe0TDnjMH8TLxk0y47NzILT1DrRLUpZs0yDHYS4MNOs2hPKnlf0NozP_b2VN0NgVRrDWrM2y6kqDF7eJ_xNLXXpeNprZ9ZT0FPgLTFWoGwmxkhTj8z9YT46_ZoQCidGx0QftfykyXNKfgYGph796szdezmN4dghK1ocPwH4MdZ9ZRFI35Bn1ifA-TVu/w400-h297/FLYING%20THROUGH%20WALL.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Gene dresses and runs out of the barn, searching for his lover. He makes his way through a forest and then stumbles upon a rock band playing a song in the middle of the woods (a not uncommon scene in the late 1980s, I am led to believe).</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQU7Qhz4zIjYqgtqvxUnxREu7-KAFaApmMcEgc2q9s5pigh7rGZjxHidatc799vWNQgexkp1MHUe_EZqu3x_CGzFXBWA2TOTWsgA2VjC04PsJUHRLS5PWuKjzGXD5zrp-udelQacSilaoo1j2tb0CrVexwgsN2HxF57DeoMzFp6PnlhR7xqnecNPtCtzkb/s1627/ROCK%20BAND.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1213" data-original-width="1627" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQU7Qhz4zIjYqgtqvxUnxREu7-KAFaApmMcEgc2q9s5pigh7rGZjxHidatc799vWNQgexkp1MHUe_EZqu3x_CGzFXBWA2TOTWsgA2VjC04PsJUHRLS5PWuKjzGXD5zrp-udelQacSilaoo1j2tb0CrVexwgsN2HxF57DeoMzFp6PnlhR7xqnecNPtCtzkb/w400-h299/ROCK%20BAND.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>At the end of the song, the lead guitarist smashes Gene’s head with his guitar.</div><div><br /></div><div>Shelly puts the script down, finding it amusingly sick.</div><div><br /></div><div>The next morning, Linda and Gene are nowhere to be found. Shelly speaks with Detective Benjamin, who is visiting to question a resistant Mrs. Camden again. Shelly shows the detective the screenplay. She tells him, “There are scenes appearing where blank pages were before, and I swear that the title keeps changing too.” (Unfortunately, we never learn the new title.) Shelly tells Detective Benjamin the first scene in the screenplay describes Thorn’s death, so they investigate the location where that scene is set.</div><div><br /></div><div>It is at this point that Shelly realizes the scene she read last night involved Linda and Gene. Reading quickly, she yells to the detective to “Get out of there!” but he suddenly disappears, falling into a hole in the ground while an explosion of dirt appears around him. Shelly runs to him but finds only a grotesquely misshapen face staring at her.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjUYCaUjGgJFLVFV5vtBm4xpacmiRTiyeEUoie6EVW8nDRQSkhdA9DFWTZyljyePlIxpYn0zGnTayLZVCi3gGUnBD8l8g1GVK4pMOOEYQfDMCtiQDgcUdsKAXFxvJKCWpnBtpw68sJzZFjKTubRJ1yXxk730XeMgghtZbA2JgfkQsKvpoXgLSSrOv4FyB7/s1646/MISSHAPEN%20HEAD.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1237" data-original-width="1646" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjUYCaUjGgJFLVFV5vtBm4xpacmiRTiyeEUoie6EVW8nDRQSkhdA9DFWTZyljyePlIxpYn0zGnTayLZVCi3gGUnBD8l8g1GVK4pMOOEYQfDMCtiQDgcUdsKAXFxvJKCWpnBtpw68sJzZFjKTubRJ1yXxk730XeMgghtZbA2JgfkQsKvpoXgLSSrOv4FyB7/w400-h300/MISSHAPEN%20HEAD.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Shelly runs to Cary and Lenny, telling them that the screenplay is both describing and causing the deaths of real people. The three return to the scene of Detective Benjamin’s death but, as is typical both in film and real life, there is no body or evidence of a death. Cary and Lenny are, of course, skeptical. Shelly tries to convince them through emotional histrionics: “I told you it’s in the script. It tells how it killed Mr. Thorn and Gene and Linda, and I just…saw it suck in Detective Benjamin! And it spit him back in my face!”</div><div><br /></div><div>The film cuts to Lenny reading the screenplay. “How can a script kill someone?” he asks.</div><div><br /></div><div>Shelly explains that the empty pages fill up with text and the title changes every time someone is killed. (Unfortunately, we have never seen this happen.) They all go into Mr. Joverson’s house and ask what is going on.</div><div><br /></div><div>Mr. Joverson explains. “You must try to understand what we’re dealing with here. It’s not something that law enforcement officials can help us with.” He tells them about his Amazon visits. On one visit, the local tribe was harassed by an American journalist who wanted to photograph them, so “they became frightened, and then desperate. And they took his life in order to protect their clandestine lifestyle. But shortly after the death of the journalist, terrible things started happening.” (We never learn, perhaps to our benefit, what terrible things ensued.)</div><div><br /></div><div>The journalist’s remains were sealed in an urn, and Mr. Joverson of course took the urn to return the dead man’s ashes to his native soil. “I agreed to bring it back,” Mr. Joverson says, perhaps insensitively, “thinking it would make a perfect addition to my pre-Colombian art collection.” Eventually, Mrs. Camden cleaned the collection, somehow freeing the evil spirit of the American journalist. Mr. Joverson explains further: “And the life force of that spirit harbored itself in the script of the film that was being done here at the time. That script was entitled ‘Victim.’”</div><div><br /></div><div>“‘Victim’?” says Shelly. “When I first found the script it was entitled ‘Victim 67.’ And now it’s ‘Victim 70.’ Do you mean to tell me that script has killed seventy people?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Over the years, yes,” Mr. Joverson confirms.</div><div><br /></div><div>Despite Mr. Joverson’s protestations that the script must be contained, Lenny decides to hightail it out of the area, but unfortunately the script has electrified the fence surrounding the property so nobody is able to leave.</div><div><br /></div><div>Cary and Lenny climb downstairs into the basement and open the trunk that housed the script. Inside is a glowing urn. Cary rolls up the script and attempts to slip it inside the cylindrical urn, but the urn shakes so much he cannot insert it. When he shoves it close to the opening, there is an explosion that throws Cary and Lenny backward.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the next scene, the young people attempt to burn the screenplay in a campfire. They watch it burn as Shelly says, “I can’t believe all this stuff is happening to us now because of something that happened to someone else almost forty years ago.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“The whole thing is pretty unbelievable,” Lenny says.</div><div><br /></div><div>When Lenny puts out the fire, they realize the script is still sitting in the ashes, unharmed.</div><div><br /></div><div>Apparently to cheer everyone up, Cary sits down and plays the harpsichord, which sends Shelly to sleep. She dreams she is at an idyllic lakeside, where a Formula One race car drives to her (again, I am led to believe this is a not uncommon occurrence in the late 1980s). She runs to the driver and, for unknown reasons, takes off her top.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBxtEt9IsgwN-0fPX38J105Q9VroqXHXdw6wEyaubzCADCpEAruoLv3eEFkqgPsTj8M2g4KmaWUjyn6MrhVD1-phr42JXVlyM-QEmj9DmLpTgTBKjS_LnkvN4SK7-Vux4UTJ165RiX9KvB2WcxI2Db-27qz0gQACAE4Ik4COMVCC3I5MHVIa-oXLKHnkE3/s1662/RACE%20CAR.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1245" data-original-width="1662" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBxtEt9IsgwN-0fPX38J105Q9VroqXHXdw6wEyaubzCADCpEAruoLv3eEFkqgPsTj8M2g4KmaWUjyn6MrhVD1-phr42JXVlyM-QEmj9DmLpTgTBKjS_LnkvN4SK7-Vux4UTJ165RiX9KvB2WcxI2Db-27qz0gQACAE4Ik4COMVCC3I5MHVIa-oXLKHnkE3/w400-h300/RACE%20CAR.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Then she takes off the driver’s scarf, but this has the evidently unintentional effect of decapitating the driver. Shelly wakes up screaming.</div><div><br /></div><div>When she wakes, Cary suggests that they write the script to rewrite reality. “I imagine it’s worth a try,” says Mr. Joverson.</div><div><br /></div><div>They find a typewriter and pitch different ideas about how to solve their problems. Mr. Joverson suggests a power failure at the ranch will eliminate the power source of their problems, so Shelly slowly types a few words and inserts the new page into the screenplay, carefully binding it with little brads. “Say a prayer this one works,” she says as the lights go out.</div><div><br /></div><div>Everyone gets into Lenny’s car, but they can’t open the gate to the property, which is electrically controlled. They also find a monster in front of the gate, but when Cary tries a to hit it with a branch it vanishes.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMmGSDXq_B-MRFPcW5F-zHvatWYiYWB3bqIhX2e60_UfiUFN52hJ2D1GlkQoPZaLqnrlwYoaDcHhUB6kEqdMVKrlesJbBrqiuuojpxt6fFJHATyRc1pEHzOX9tPZavJfEzS2HmQ7pL90q0CKqe2RVuKnvR7O905ZJn44ZK2i3DcVhmPSnIBPf5cpFCfKN6/s1627/MONSTER.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1228" data-original-width="1627" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMmGSDXq_B-MRFPcW5F-zHvatWYiYWB3bqIhX2e60_UfiUFN52hJ2D1GlkQoPZaLqnrlwYoaDcHhUB6kEqdMVKrlesJbBrqiuuojpxt6fFJHATyRc1pEHzOX9tPZavJfEzS2HmQ7pL90q0CKqe2RVuKnvR7O905ZJn44ZK2i3DcVhmPSnIBPf5cpFCfKN6/w400-h303/MONSTER.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Despite their actions, Mr. Joverson has a sudden heart attack and the power comes on at the same time, so they return to the house where Mr. Joverson can rest. Lenny walks to the movie set by himself while the others remain at the house. (Before leaving by himself, he reads the script silently, though we never find out what he is reading.)</div><div><br /></div><div>Lenny walks through some trees to get to the movie set. He hears a monster growling nearby but continues walking.</div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, Mrs. Camden investigates a noise in the house, only to find a scimitar-wielding zombie appear in the kitchen. The zombie chases her outside and impales her with the scimitar, lifting her over his head.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOdj57yhna8WG0t37OAdhCK-7fgupLCjHn43BTmOVPfhKigWxia0829oNAfWxcm8aYPGkK0HrMb9g_gMyug6l6dNmPJYRfJx1pRX_riCFT8ksNx4Em5u3LYqAK_M5KVT0a9TrqhF_UsYsb0vZ8Rjnhsjuto93DJaybN9w9q83qTs1vWeg2Aw5dnsUlaM0C/s1632/MRS%20CAMDEN%20DEATH.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1228" data-original-width="1632" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOdj57yhna8WG0t37OAdhCK-7fgupLCjHn43BTmOVPfhKigWxia0829oNAfWxcm8aYPGkK0HrMb9g_gMyug6l6dNmPJYRfJx1pRX_riCFT8ksNx4Em5u3LYqAK_M5KVT0a9TrqhF_UsYsb0vZ8Rjnhsjuto93DJaybN9w9q83qTs1vWeg2Aw5dnsUlaM0C/w400-h301/MRS%20CAMDEN%20DEATH.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>At the movie set, Lenny sees the zombie performing a ritual that involves fire and pyrotechnics generated by spinning the scimitar around.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCbdW2g8Y_wpmMWkTo_XyucZ3UEppKQRlgg2TFHzvIRowSNHycADrct1ibkOsb6Z-x3h-f6FrCwIDmRs2ovQDCCMCtF0SujJ2l3tGtPXX9nD_Zy1XGhiyk4tvIYYUx5ENOnyGhxrJhYVuBbzUlx6yjSRIRDEdTshIlad3CNBFXJGFqzyXQeyjnZpQ_Civk/s1614/PYROTECHNICS.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1196" data-original-width="1614" height="296" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCbdW2g8Y_wpmMWkTo_XyucZ3UEppKQRlgg2TFHzvIRowSNHycADrct1ibkOsb6Z-x3h-f6FrCwIDmRs2ovQDCCMCtF0SujJ2l3tGtPXX9nD_Zy1XGhiyk4tvIYYUx5ENOnyGhxrJhYVuBbzUlx6yjSRIRDEdTshIlad3CNBFXJGFqzyXQeyjnZpQ_Civk/w400-h296/PYROTECHNICS.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The ritual summons two motorbike riders from hell. Lenny, watching from behind a bush, quips, “Something tells me this isn’t the cavalry.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Back in the house, Cary finds his uncle on his deathbed. “One must first be content with life before they can rest,” the old man says. “I cannot rest knowing this aberration is wreaking its bestial behavior on us all.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Cary vows to defeat the evil thing. He and Shelly run through the woods to find Lenny. Before they find him, they hear growling in the forest. Suddenly, something jumps from behind the trees, and Cary shoots it with a rifle. He and Shelly run away, and the monster starts to climb to its feet.</div><div><br /></div><div>Cary reasons that the evil journalist’s spirit is annoyed because it never received a proper burial. They hatch a plan: stuff the script back into the chest and bury the chest.</div><div><br /></div><div>After some thrilling action involving wires strung between trees that allow Lenny to destroy one of the biker zombies and a sequence in which Cary shoots the other biker zombie, causing it to explode, everyone returns to the house to bury the screenplay.</div><div><br /></div><div>After some comedic business about having enough equipment to dig a grave, Lenny returns to the house to find a pick. Unfortunately, Shelly reads the script and realizes the spirit is “now madder than ever.” However, Cary interprets the script as saying that Lenny is mad because he has to find the pick, rather than the spirit being mad. Of course, the spirit quickly appears, thought it is injured by being struck by a random motorbike, for no apparent reason. It moves toward Shelly as she finishes a prayer, and as she says the last word the spirit vanishes.</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeTy5OgQTfiSg04H72mzz2QrUhwCQk6ucXzCFVPLEA5wVItxRzpYuFybk6XTnFJrlBrBcSP_HDNCBAeheV7hMaYK8slKPrWZdP9KUV88LXNSdpA4SQYRtwN_iPlK-iomZWUTdck5FSgobbkxfviz--nAWS4xliWhwkGxkFcSDdw6bcgwhATKQoAK6sDq5A/s1631/SPIRIT%20AT%20GRAVE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1234" data-original-width="1631" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeTy5OgQTfiSg04H72mzz2QrUhwCQk6ucXzCFVPLEA5wVItxRzpYuFybk6XTnFJrlBrBcSP_HDNCBAeheV7hMaYK8slKPrWZdP9KUV88LXNSdpA4SQYRtwN_iPlK-iomZWUTdck5FSgobbkxfviz--nAWS4xliWhwkGxkFcSDdw6bcgwhATKQoAK6sDq5A/w400-h303/SPIRIT%20AT%20GRAVE.png" width="400" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>The film ends abruptly, and the catchy theme song plays over the end credits.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><hr /><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;">In the late 1980s, one of the most popular horror series was, of course, A Nightmare on Elm Street, which featured a malignant murdered spirit who invaded teenagers' dreams to murder them. Is it too far a stretch to base a horror film around a malignant screenplay with reality-altering powers controlled by the spirit of a journalist murdered by South American tribespeople whose ashes are kept in a sealed urn in a sealed chest in a basement on a movie set? No, of course it is not a far stretch. One might argue that Death by Dialogue is even more grounded than A Nightmare on Elm Street. In any case, both scenarios allow for creative, surrealistic slasher set pieces, and it would be difficult to find set pieces more entertaining than Death by Dialogue's exploding trunks, bodies flying out of barns, and murders by rock band and race car.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Death by Dialogue is one of a string of classics produced by Joseph Merhi, a Syrian-born pizza entrepreneur who pioneered the shot on video format in the late 1980s. Some of his other classic horror films include <a href="https://www.senselesscinema.com/2019/02/epitaph.html" target="_blank">Epitaph</a> (1987), The Newlydeads (1988), and <a href="https://www.senselesscinema.com/2017/06/hollowgate.html" target="_blank">Hollowgate</a> (1988), all produced before he moved on to produce action films and then to co-produce mainstream films like Rob Reiner's Alex & Emma (2003), David Mamet's Spartan (2004), and Howard Deutch's The Whole Ten Yards (2004). Although Mr. Merhi achieved mainstream success, it is clear his most creative and impassioned films are his early horror videos, films that will be remembered as classics after filmmakers like Mr. Reiner, Mr. Mamet, and Mr. Deutch are long forgotten.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>Doctor Pseudonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07584099620426375486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-909065385728154804.post-68485576227057293902023-07-17T04:00:00.088-07:002023-07-17T04:00:00.135-07:00“I Forgot Today Was Your Night for Rounds” - Demented (1980)<div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrXJRooRHP0Mmf3mtfpNNJz0TMznbYjxOqbp7jbkub30MHaUa5mvQplPYoOIE8fzK-brCk60Y61DcnLoMVFIFnibWgk8d3x1SmDwwdg6aAn9wz1yqXUYiyweb8N8XHIYwoImxet5iKOq-vpPAGK10YPRYvGTQr5kZykcOPRR4eP2KpCI4Wn8eQtKyas6EE/s1380/Demented%20Title.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="398" data-original-width="1380" height="184" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrXJRooRHP0Mmf3mtfpNNJz0TMznbYjxOqbp7jbkub30MHaUa5mvQplPYoOIE8fzK-brCk60Y61DcnLoMVFIFnibWgk8d3x1SmDwwdg6aAn9wz1yqXUYiyweb8N8XHIYwoImxet5iKOq-vpPAGK10YPRYvGTQr5kZykcOPRR4eP2KpCI4Wn8eQtKyas6EE/w640-h184/Demented%20Title.png" width="640" /></a></div>It is time to discuss Demented (1980), a prototypical rape-revenge film that features what might be the most spectacularly powerful performance of all time by Sallee Elyse (aka Sallee Young) and written by actor/writer Alex Rebar.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">As usual, some of your universe's critics fail to appreciate Demented. For example, reviewer alicespiral <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1252161/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a> (under the clever but inaccurate review title "Gives bad movies a bad name"), "I only made it to the end because I was curious to how much worse it could get." Reviewer ofumalow <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2891155/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "This is one of those movies that's so bad it's just bad--too plodding, amateurish, gore-free etc." And reviewer jivinmutt <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1145292/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes dismissively</a>, "This 'movie' is absurd, horrible, et al."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Read on for a more accurate description of Demented...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div><span><a name='more'></a></span>A woman wearing large, pink-tinged sunglasses opens a stable door and pets a horse. As soon as she leaves the horse, she is assaulted by a group of large man wearing pantyhose over their heads. In a terrifying sequence, the four men threaten her with a pitchfork and then brutally rape her in an empty stable. (As in most scenes of this type, the rape scene is sickening and difficult to watch, but is not explicit and lasts only a minute or two.)</div><div><br /></div><div>The filmmakers cut to several months later, after the woman, Linda, has spent some time in a sanitarium. “I really think I can put the pieces together and go on,” she tells her husband Matt (played pseudonymously by Harry Reems) as he drives her through the country.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Mind if I join you?” he asks.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Well, you damn well better.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“That’s my girl.” Her husband also tells her that her sister Annie wants to pay a visit.</div><div><br /></div><div>The car pulls into an estate. After taking about three minutes to climb out of the car, Linda and Matt walk wordlessly and emotionless lay into their house. After she admires some flowers he bought for her, he says, “You’re beautiful” and attempts to touch her shoulder, but she pulls away.</div><div><br /></div><div>“I know,” Linda says. “God made me that way just for you.”</div><div><br /></div><div>She goes outside to pick some fruit for a fresh fruit salad, but she is startled by the gardener brandishing (rather aggressively) a sharp gardening tool and she screams. He apologies.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWTqbrtAHkCDFSstMfI0X1p-C3b0eV_89bt9utl8LdJM_zZbivqkM6VYHueTO92kOjWaHuH9Oc8m7gNnvQP7i_wFfQJTWc6KF6W-gbnYcAdJmHbvWMSZZw5QHWuKez61NAJ57dZjPYQX2Pyqi1yZymKB2n6CTlIANsY1mL-cZ4H44r3h3tCe3RXxT_S9lV/s2224/GARDENING%20TOOL.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1180" data-original-width="2224" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWTqbrtAHkCDFSstMfI0X1p-C3b0eV_89bt9utl8LdJM_zZbivqkM6VYHueTO92kOjWaHuH9Oc8m7gNnvQP7i_wFfQJTWc6KF6W-gbnYcAdJmHbvWMSZZw5QHWuKez61NAJ57dZjPYQX2Pyqi1yZymKB2n6CTlIANsY1mL-cZ4H44r3h3tCe3RXxT_S9lV/w400-h213/GARDENING%20TOOL.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Matt guides Linda upstairs so she can nap. “I’m going to give you a sedative,” he tells her, opening his medical bag and preparing the hypodermic needle expertly while she undresses (not quite as expertly). While injecting her, Matt reminds her that the men who raped her were caught and put away.</div><div><br /></div><div>As she lies under the covers, Linda tells a story about Halloween and a practical joke she played on her father. “I crept into my brother’s bedroom and I put on his Frankenstein costume. I crept ever so slowly down the hallway toward the bathroom. It was hard to go slow but I really had to because the boards creaked. Anyway, I rushed to the bathroom screaming and scared the hell out of him!” She adds, somewhat ambiguously, “I always wanted to do that,” and then falls asleep.</div><div><br /></div><div>Matt walks down the stairs casually, though incongruous and mysterious music plays.</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, when Linda wakes up and puts on a robe, she imagines a goofy man wearing a stocking over his head appear in her mirror, grin at her, and then fade away.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9unUfoJU5AWoJSQvjJpi-XQcFT-Stopdg9zwsxibvqGZOdxlRjCZ5i-RH6EjNF19Q_DJPd-ENhIC7WtqesooPH8I98DG-jeajlWk11c_RKHkuFFiBV9wVOWnBIqC4lavDdAOHsYVF7Xs-QTUMJk6WMfEc80VjpqhtoKg25SJIAuyCrvopAvo2r1nI0-Yk/s2224/MAN%20IN%20STOCKING.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1171" data-original-width="2224" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9unUfoJU5AWoJSQvjJpi-XQcFT-Stopdg9zwsxibvqGZOdxlRjCZ5i-RH6EjNF19Q_DJPd-ENhIC7WtqesooPH8I98DG-jeajlWk11c_RKHkuFFiBV9wVOWnBIqC4lavDdAOHsYVF7Xs-QTUMJk6WMfEc80VjpqhtoKg25SJIAuyCrvopAvo2r1nI0-Yk/w400-h210/MAN%20IN%20STOCKING.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Later, it is revealed that Matt is having an affair with a woman named Carol when he receives an unexpected phone call. He promises Carol he will see her tonight. </div><div><br /></div><div>For unexplained reasons, the filmmakers cut to an extended scene of Matt’s rendezvous with Carol during which Carol takes a phone call from another admirer and complains about auditioning for a role as a prostitute. Matt expresses his jealousy and Carol asks for money before turning on a record player so the two can make love.</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, at their home, Matt eats dinner with Linda. “Honey, that meal was delicious,” he says. “I see you haven’t lost your touch.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Matt, I was raped. I didn’t get a frontal lobotomy.” Then she quips about her period, “Why do they call it a period? Why not a comma? Period sounds so definite, so final.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Of course, Matt laughs at her hilarious joke.</div><div><br /></div><div>She tells him she is starting to feel like making love again, though they can’t because of her period. He suggests they fly to Mexico next week. During their conversation, he gets another phone call from his mistress Carol, and he goes to his office to take the call in private, but only after his wife calls him “Zorro” for no apparent reason.</div><div><br /></div><div>The next day, Linda goes outside to the mailbox to collect her mail but she is harassed by neighborhood teenagers in her driveway who say sexually suggestive things like “Woo! What’s in the mailbox, hmm?”</div><div><br /></div><div>One of the teenage boys, Mark, feels guilty about the harassment and knocks on Linda’s door, startling her. He apologizes quickly, then leaves. </div><div><br /></div><div>Frustrated, Linda calls her husband at his hospital job (innovatively, the filmmakers relay most of the story’s plot points using one-sided telephone conversations), but he doesn’t want to talk to her. She tells him she’ll see him at dinner, but then yells, “Oh no! I forgot today was your night for rounds!”</div><div><br /></div><div>At night, Linda tries to sleep alone but visions of men wearing stockings over their faces dance in her head. She gets up but she is assaulted by a group of men (clearly the neighborhood teenagers) wearing bizarre masks.</div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNLxsqDwFRdzao7Eryy3qzZ8IXxq2hr8hOPbzkmg6hbyWiIdpIR8SJrPIZAGfAWWSftVCJmL1N-SxYQ5n0Q5XChfmFVK-jBO8LPRNJd-Hf5rjcjvfkNE-GFq5mAE1zjDQhNPk1SCrWrwoM7dbyz304jbeUVQyizVcFy1m-thhaJUWni-yoAs57Flbl16Uc/s2205/MEN%20IN%20MASKS.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1202" data-original-width="2205" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNLxsqDwFRdzao7Eryy3qzZ8IXxq2hr8hOPbzkmg6hbyWiIdpIR8SJrPIZAGfAWWSftVCJmL1N-SxYQ5n0Q5XChfmFVK-jBO8LPRNJd-Hf5rjcjvfkNE-GFq5mAE1zjDQhNPk1SCrWrwoM7dbyz304jbeUVQyizVcFy1m-thhaJUWni-yoAs57Flbl16Uc/w400-h217/MEN%20IN%20MASKS.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>She locks herself in the laundry room and says (or perhaps “screeches” is a more appropriate verb), “This can’t be happening! Not again!”</div><div><br /></div><div>One of the intruders, after suggesting that he is imaginary, sticks his masked head through a doggy door and says, “Trick or treat!” Linda faints in the laundry room.</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJDe-1ifC19gq8yCl-ca-lhbv0IEiojsNFIJmNSWLhWC2shSAkvHnvpEhSEnTWZ8_hYEWikW0N9JwBCR6fnPWZNH8ZBkvbJuHX9CV06WKkgT10qhm6Nfu9HB2uAVkH8JbaugnIGD-nuILbQ0IrEiVJep4uyISFmN35KfyX3SBhw0CD-sgp3PV-ex79l7Qq/s2224/JOKER%20MASK.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1167" data-original-width="2224" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJDe-1ifC19gq8yCl-ca-lhbv0IEiojsNFIJmNSWLhWC2shSAkvHnvpEhSEnTWZ8_hYEWikW0N9JwBCR6fnPWZNH8ZBkvbJuHX9CV06WKkgT10qhm6Nfu9HB2uAVkH8JbaugnIGD-nuILbQ0IrEiVJep4uyISFmN35KfyX3SBhw0CD-sgp3PV-ex79l7Qq/w400-h210/JOKER%20MASK.png" width="400" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>As his wife lies unconscious, Matt makes love to his mistress Carol across town.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the morning, Linda collapses in the kitchen before Matt finds her. She (screechingly) tells him that she was attacked last night. “They were here! They said they would hurt me!”</div><div><br /></div><div>Of course, they call the police. A detective searches the house but finds no evidence of a break-in. He accuses Linda of having trauma-induced flashbacks. “The mind plays funny tricks, after a while,” he says.</div><div><br /></div><div>She replies (again, screechingly), “The only funny tricks around here are yours!”</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, in a bizarre but amusing scene, Matt makes love to Carol while she asks how many movie stars he knows and how he can advance her career as an actress. The scene ends with a funny “button” as Carol asks, “How much money did you make last year?”</div><div><br /></div><div>When Matt comes back home to a dark house, Linda tries attacking him with a razor blade. He protests, “God, you scared me to death.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Well, you didn’t give me a great laugh either,” she replies.</div><div><br /></div><div>The next day, Linda’s sister Annie arrives to stay with her. With her inexplicably English accent, Annie tells Linda, “Yes, you were raped. Those men are paying for what they’ve done and you’ve got to build your life from here. Do you remember when we were both kids? You were always my big sister? Strong, independent. And when you and Matt got married, everyone thought that was just fantastic. You know, if I had a guy like Matt, I’d sure work out whatever it was.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Linda complains (perhaps “whines” is the preferable word) that Matt is always away from home and she is scared by herself. That evening, the three have dinner in a well-composed shot highlighting their isolation from each other (though it is somewhat confusing that Annie is obscured by her rather large dining chair).</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgir05ByooQAFEbNwwaALhKmciwov5KwBy9QgX6UTy5TAxFqTDRPm0aXzVDNOCNz2r9d2Hw1L2zwRV0C1OVW6RvhAVG0g0z8--Ndm2VzYJpTfZhw1jqp2KEGodZCkrIS-OJwFKCD7_1DKMfNUkTkGUANWFEGdVLr7owJB7x7q3e-5Mg-aFZSSzXluOkNBiF/s2224/DINNER%20TABLE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1187" data-original-width="2224" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgir05ByooQAFEbNwwaALhKmciwov5KwBy9QgX6UTy5TAxFqTDRPm0aXzVDNOCNz2r9d2Hw1L2zwRV0C1OVW6RvhAVG0g0z8--Ndm2VzYJpTfZhw1jqp2KEGodZCkrIS-OJwFKCD7_1DKMfNUkTkGUANWFEGdVLr7owJB7x7q3e-5Mg-aFZSSzXluOkNBiF/w400-h214/DINNER%20TABLE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>During dinner, Linda’s frustrations quickly erupt. She says screechingly, “Were you raped last week, last month, last year? Were you ever raped? Of course not! Well, you’ve never had to deal with anything more than having to kiss a boy on the first date or note!”</div><div><br /></div><div>Annie, speaking from behind her chair, admits she cannot help the situation, so she leaves the dinner table, preparing to leave (she is never seen again). Of course, Matt scolds Linda. “She came here to give you a little companionship and you blew it right out of the water. Congratulations.”</div><div><br /></div><div>At night, with Matt gone, the family doctor makes another house call, injecting Linda with a sedative so she can sleep. Then, in an extended sequence highlighting the banality of domestic life, the doctor goes downstairs to get Linda a glass of orange juice. Eventually, after pouring the juice and replacing the cap on the jug and returning the jug to the refrigerator, the doctor sees something through the kitchen window. As would any doctor, he immediately pulls a pistol from his pocket and investigates.</div><div><br /></div><div>Outside, the doctor finds Mark kneeling beside a window. “Freeze,” says the doctor (perhaps invoking some little-known clause in the Hippocrates Oath), “or I’ll blow your head off.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Mark protests that he was just checking on Linda to make sure everything was all right. Linda opens a window (she is brandishing a meat cleaver) and vouches for Mark, so the doctor lets him go. Then the doctor leaves. Linda takes the meat cleaver and returns to bed.</div><div><br /></div><div>Unfortunately for Linda, the masked men return in the middle of the night. One of them jumps onto Linda’s bed and begins to assault her. She slams the cleaver into his neck.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjshjKQThnDOazCCl6dw-rb0y-oA-j9Vfgh-A5rMmlxce0_Slwx9ab9OZFVOiRbZqBfdoWzrL0aQS7s6416_Rcll_LfuzvYfCD2iQeKMKVnSZz-DMX4TI805xV1xj2s9QdViyYQJW554xyVO0fzTWW7752ApUG-2LL5Xq_E3Heh4YfeBoYXW2_VTc0DT_E1/s2224/CLEAVER%20IN%20NECK.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1175" data-original-width="2224" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjshjKQThnDOazCCl6dw-rb0y-oA-j9Vfgh-A5rMmlxce0_Slwx9ab9OZFVOiRbZqBfdoWzrL0aQS7s6416_Rcll_LfuzvYfCD2iQeKMKVnSZz-DMX4TI805xV1xj2s9QdViyYQJW554xyVO0fzTWW7752ApUG-2LL5Xq_E3Heh4YfeBoYXW2_VTc0DT_E1/w400-h211/CLEAVER%20IN%20NECK.jpg" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The masked teenager dies quickly and nearly bloodlessly. Linda pushes his body off her and touches the wound in his neck. She starts giggling as she feels the small amount of blood on her fingers. Then she looks at herself in the mirror and says, “My hair is an absolute mess.” She starts powdering her nose and applying red lipstick, having completely snapped due to the assault.</div><div><br /></div><div>Linda slowly changes into a bra and panties with garter and stockings. As she sits on the bed, the young man jerks upright and falls against her. She ignores this, as anyone in her position would, and lets his body fall to the side on the bed.</div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, the other teenagers are looting the house, for unexplained reasons. Unaware that Linda has cleavered their friend, one of the teenagers allows her to seduce him with a glass of wine. He takes off his mask to drink. Unfortunately for the would-be rapist, Linda has drugged the wine. He falls unconscious to the kitchen floor. She takes off his shirt and uses it to gag him.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the final act of the film, Linda becomes a squeaky-voiced executioner, seducing the teenagers and incapacitating them. She says to one of them, “Isn’t that what you came here for? To make love to me?”</div><div><br /></div><div>He stammers, “Well, yeah. Sure.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Then she circles a wire around his (clothed) genitalia and threatens to squeeze. She makes him dance with her, then makes him kneel and beg like a dog. Then she tells him, “You’re never gonna hurt me again” and yanks the wire, incapacitating him. Also, she stabs him with the meat cleaver for good measure, laughing maniacally.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4pIFySS-sQc_2QZ9SJLzBRyDqmlQcWniHxmXzcGzeaWUS-CgLpvAdSmsp65PS2SIWkKxscA7egAbE-BtRw9TXhcAg_pgg3Z--Ndmx93zr-RPInZn0FTrRNBW-8vryW326xSSl1pw7Lcs_02hlLctQlR1X4BrUFnfHG0Hvu99hhz6cZTeXrTSBEftc2jSq/s2224/STABBING%20WITH%20CLEAVER.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1180" data-original-width="2224" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4pIFySS-sQc_2QZ9SJLzBRyDqmlQcWniHxmXzcGzeaWUS-CgLpvAdSmsp65PS2SIWkKxscA7egAbE-BtRw9TXhcAg_pgg3Z--Ndmx93zr-RPInZn0FTrRNBW-8vryW326xSSl1pw7Lcs_02hlLctQlR1X4BrUFnfHG0Hvu99hhz6cZTeXrTSBEftc2jSq/w400-h213/STABBING%20WITH%20CLEAVER.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>After killing three teenagers, she ties the one she drugged with wine to a chair and forces him to eat dinner with her. When he doesn’t eat the steak on his plate because he is tied to the chair, she scolds him, but eventually she removes his gag. “It was only a joke,” he protests. “We weren’t the ones who raped you. We only meant to play a joke. Honest.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Oddly, Linda doesn’t get the point of the joke, apparently finding threats of rape and looting houses unfunny, for some reason. She forces him to eat a bite of steak. “Do you like it?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Yes,” he replies.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Do I have nice breasts?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Yes.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Why am I so lonely? I’m a good girl. I like people, but they’re always hurting me.” She then invokes the films Sunset Boulevard and Bambi, which both made her cry. Also, she complains that her father never cried at a movie, which is perhaps the root of her psychosis. Finally, she implies that Mel Brooks took her to her prom.</div><div><br /></div><div>At the end of dinner, Linda presents the teenager with the special dessert she has prepared: a double-barreled shotgun. She shoots him twice.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG7bltY11AB2oDQTIU7i2UvVtWFKyNPkDXeuWQ1u14NNw-xTr6azyYFnt0r2_yUelETaD0HcksRDYFoVsmNVZSrwXodhy2WZL_DB-1aSGGP24gFX7Q0q0OOBSsy1n1jcBC3LAbJDJ9rGtWa4SpqYUTOWgkpNqCONH-R33tGWbQ-8I_v39lMKKLD8V8K-PC/s2224/TEENAGER%20SHOT.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1211" data-original-width="2224" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG7bltY11AB2oDQTIU7i2UvVtWFKyNPkDXeuWQ1u14NNw-xTr6azyYFnt0r2_yUelETaD0HcksRDYFoVsmNVZSrwXodhy2WZL_DB-1aSGGP24gFX7Q0q0OOBSsy1n1jcBC3LAbJDJ9rGtWa4SpqYUTOWgkpNqCONH-R33tGWbQ-8I_v39lMKKLD8V8K-PC/w400-h217/TEENAGER%20SHOT.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>In the film’s coda, Matt and Carol sit in a car discussing Linda. He says he will tell Linda he is leaving her tomorrow. Then he drives home, where he calls for Linda, who says she is upstairs. He navigates the darkened house, but he has to wait for her to unlock the bedroom door. “There’s something I want to tell you,” he says from the upstairs hallway.</div><div><br /></div><div>“I know what it is, Matt,” she says from behind the door. “You’re leaving me.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“That’s what I had in mind,” he admits.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Don’t worry, Matt. So did I.”</div><div><br /></div><div>He opens the door and enters the bedroom. He pulls the covers off the bed to see a dead teenager, and then in the final shot Linda attacks him with her cleaver.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVAktyiw9lG0XZpiw_nsvCM-lC682mWTojuaNe-WYttoE92YJ9wGqZ9O-4lLHD47A7qpa9wxgd4OFu-Ge0LwyXaaycuO2rVKBpwEVS8q3gcSlSg33-hJF0lOhd92zdnvPw8zx1jwwOqSCgKRfBf08R0gEOjw-O_Q_CsHspxGp5Hym7WNjCw3gaKYfFISTT/s2224/LINDA%20ATTACKING.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1177" data-original-width="2224" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVAktyiw9lG0XZpiw_nsvCM-lC682mWTojuaNe-WYttoE92YJ9wGqZ9O-4lLHD47A7qpa9wxgd4OFu-Ge0LwyXaaycuO2rVKBpwEVS8q3gcSlSg33-hJF0lOhd92zdnvPw8zx1jwwOqSCgKRfBf08R0gEOjw-O_Q_CsHspxGp5Hym7WNjCw3gaKYfFISTT/w400-h211/LINDA%20ATTACKING.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The End</div><div><br /></div><hr /><div><br /></div><div>Of course, the highlight of Demented is the performance of Sallee Elyse as Linda. Perhaps Sally Field used Ms. Elyse as the model for her screeching performance as Mary Todd Lincoln in Spielberg's Lincoln (2012), but Ms. Field is too trained an actor to reach the dizzying heights of Ms. Elyse's powerful vocal histrionics. Demented is a film with a central performance that must be seen to be believed. Who, without experiencing Ms. Elyse in this role she was born to play, could possibly understand the power an actor can bring to a film? The answer is "nobody." Ms. Elyse deserves accolades that do not even exist yet. Even if the film itself is somewhat unoriginal and could be improved in terms of pacing and surprises, Demented is a film that will never be forgotten due to Sallee Elyse's ability to surprise the viewer over and over again with her understanding of what it means to be an actor.</div><div><br /></div></div>Doctor Pseudonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07584099620426375486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-909065385728154804.post-50459457651018764402023-07-03T12:46:00.089-07:002023-07-03T12:46:00.135-07:00"This Will Make You Relax. Now Just Relax." - Love Me Deadly (1973)<div style="text-align: left;"><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcKEZfy9xTBRWa_7HWwKycnZ9Xv7Vg6skYTCdTGjaW6ITWZheJDbX0wV1YA5pYqPub1X1uykAQBUlQYynCXoLIZKJR0edt2VrLOtj-1E25bODN8z0v2Fp2S7XMxIwWbyOfjZXMU3Xl73ceg_6rtyKJYwYfdMp_Krp2sNWw2643mm6QrGRiYbZzSsdKng/s1470/Love%20Me%20Deadly%20Title.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="1470" height="174" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcKEZfy9xTBRWa_7HWwKycnZ9Xv7Vg6skYTCdTGjaW6ITWZheJDbX0wV1YA5pYqPub1X1uykAQBUlQYynCXoLIZKJR0edt2VrLOtj-1E25bODN8z0v2Fp2S7XMxIwWbyOfjZXMU3Xl73ceg_6rtyKJYwYfdMp_Krp2sNWw2643mm6QrGRiYbZzSsdKng/w640-h174/Love%20Me%20Deadly%20Title.png" width="640" /></a></div>It is time to explore one of the most sensitive and still taboo-bursting films of the 1970's: Love Me Deadly (1973), a film full of necrophilia, male nudity, and, of course, Lyle Waggoner.</div><div><br /></div><div>Some of your universe's critics fail to recognize the importance of Love Me Deadly. For example, reviewer lobianco <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw0518634/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "A total disaster of a film you can't even laugh at." Reviewer eddie-96492 <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw4039374/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "Beware - this movie sucks! Bored me to death." And reviewer merklekranz <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2215846/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "Even uncut and uncensored, this is a real yawn fest."<br /><span><br />Read on for a fuller appreciation of 1973's Love Me Deadly...<br /><br /><a name='more'></a></span>The film begins at a funeral as the filmmakers zoom out of the face of a woman wearing a black veil. The veiled woman refuses to join the line of mourners viewing the casket until she is the only person remaining in the chapel. Then she walks up to the open casket, lifts her veil, and kisses the bearded corpse as the film’s theme song fades in on the soundtrack, a catchy tune apparently about necrophilia:</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Love me deadly,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Kiss me deadly,</div><div style="text-align: center;">This very special love</div><div style="text-align: center;">Can never be.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Touch me deadly,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Hold me deadly,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Look in my eyes</div><div style="text-align: center;">And tell me what you see.</div><div style="text-align: center;">You won’t see love everlasting,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Ever bright and new for us to have and hold.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Love that is gentle,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Love that’s strong and warm for us alone to share.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Love must be cherished,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Must be all alone,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Or it will fade and die.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Yes, it will die.</div><div style="text-align: center;">And so will I.</div><div><br /></div><div>As the song plays, the filmmakers show flashbacks to the veiled woman as a child fishing, picnicking, and riding in a car with her father (who, thankfully, is not the corpse from the opening, cementing the theme of the title song as necrophilia and not incest).</div><div><br /></div><div>The film proper begins at a swinging early-seventies party. The veiled woman is Lindsay, and she is no longer wearing a veil. She hosts the swinging party, trading quips with her race-car-driving boyfriend before meeting another man in her upstairs bedroom. (The filmmakers cleverly mirror a shot of Lindsay walking up the stairs that features her cleavage with a shot seconds later of her male admirer walking up the stairs that features his open shirt.) </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlCeR4VT0-QcWFmacDdynAW_rFQlPJPdeunKRBHdwMDSzLgBGP1igwMPBvYtYljymk-quw2iNMdEZ6aw1O8_-pnMcxv6rzbdV0_br-Zw4bIXI69yP2M1GaJRDU1aeEe_dq0u_b6bUR34LAIBlad0-FwtyQsuHSfZwfny7-MK-XJM6XfG4qLpY5eJc7Yw/s2224/CLEAVAGE%20SHOT%201.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1213" data-original-width="2224" height="109" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlCeR4VT0-QcWFmacDdynAW_rFQlPJPdeunKRBHdwMDSzLgBGP1igwMPBvYtYljymk-quw2iNMdEZ6aw1O8_-pnMcxv6rzbdV0_br-Zw4bIXI69yP2M1GaJRDU1aeEe_dq0u_b6bUR34LAIBlad0-FwtyQsuHSfZwfny7-MK-XJM6XfG4qLpY5eJc7Yw/w200-h109/CLEAVAGE%20SHOT%201.png" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKv5HuSb6pR435b23V8Z-RlHbfr0b4VBn_eOnK1BE4isLBuswqIZ4FdxKIyvktbsbdND445MP0nNIrvLEr76eL5xive8ivlYEHM3wdDbftj0Ta2W150ewWV-H2Vh_TC8p2eJ7ubyTo6oH66lKcoB6WuocuJy7vN-OP37gjtniVZzwHfTwLufIZKJJbXg/s2224/CLEAVAGE%20SHOT%202.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1233" data-original-width="2224" height="111" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKv5HuSb6pR435b23V8Z-RlHbfr0b4VBn_eOnK1BE4isLBuswqIZ4FdxKIyvktbsbdND445MP0nNIrvLEr76eL5xive8ivlYEHM3wdDbftj0Ta2W150ewWV-H2Vh_TC8p2eJ7ubyTo6oH66lKcoB6WuocuJy7vN-OP37gjtniVZzwHfTwLufIZKJJbXg/w200-h111/CLEAVAGE%20SHOT%202.png" width="200" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The man gropes her breasts, then carries her to the bed. She protests that she needs to return to the party but he persists, so she scratches his face to force him to leave. Then she hugs a teddy bear and has a yellow-tinged flashback of her father pushing her on a swing that ends with her falling off the swing and receiving the teddy bear as a gift.</div><div><br /></div><div>After the party is over, Lindsay, like many of us, scans the obituaries in the newspaper, circling the obituary of a 36-year-old man.</div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, the mortician from the funeral in the opening sequence drives to a gay porno theatre and picks up a young man named Billy Joe. The mortician is quick to ask if the young man has any family, and then drives him to the funeral home (Billy Joe charges fifteen dollars to “make it in the car” and twenty-five dollars to go home with a client.)</div><div><br /></div><div>Still the same night, Lindsay dresses for a funeral and attends Morningside Mortuary for a viewing of the 36-year-old body. Alone at night, she strokes the corpse’s face, aroused, but seconds later she gasps in horror and stumbles back—directly into Lyle Waggoner. Mr. Waggoner is the brother of the corpse. She leaves as quickly as she can, but first she tells Mr. Waggoner that her name is Lindsay.</div><div><br /></div><div>Not far away, the mortician brings Billy Joe into a medical room. “This is my office. I’m a veterinarian.”</div><div><br /></div><div>While a bouncy country instrumental number plays on the soundtrack, the mortician has Billy Joe strip and get onto a table. The mortician straps him down. Billy Joe screams but no help arrives. The mortician injects his victim with a drug and then graphically inserts an embalming needle into Billy Joe’s arm. “You’re not kidding!” screams the young man. “He’s not kidding! You’re a maniac!”</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSN4K__eTibB-YVsNDnUc7_GmlBjY-tbhV-WH4fzi9m3gu3nwXuCe-antK7iKwbKRJu86okq_AVPE2YsSZsnwuovgE1dBjbtumAPdiSU6U3NH2tdtUmaXqXWaZ9bCbZd35Wjn0jMM99aTHHq3lb8KpYNyh3MfytncjIjxUhJMGVC8LN1pbRsDTn3kNqw/s2224/INJECTION.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1225" data-original-width="2224" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSN4K__eTibB-YVsNDnUc7_GmlBjY-tbhV-WH4fzi9m3gu3nwXuCe-antK7iKwbKRJu86okq_AVPE2YsSZsnwuovgE1dBjbtumAPdiSU6U3NH2tdtUmaXqXWaZ9bCbZd35Wjn0jMM99aTHHq3lb8KpYNyh3MfytncjIjxUhJMGVC8LN1pbRsDTn3kNqw/w400-h220/INJECTION.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>In a disturbing sequence made even more disturbing by the victim’s visible male organ, the mortician cuts Billy Joe’s throat, inserts an embalming tube, and embalms the man as he dies.</div><div><br /></div><div>The next day, Lindsay views Mr. Waggoner’s brother’s funeral from afar through binolculars. (For unexplained reasons, she wears a bright purple outfit.) When she sees Mr. Waggoner at the graveside, the filmmakers helpfully intercut shots of her own father with Mr. Waggoner, visually showing us that she is imprinting on Mr. Waggoner as a father figure. She stalks Mr. Waggoner at his art gallery but leaves before he can say anything to her. Then she returns to the funeral home in her veil and black dress to attend yet another funeral. (Here, the filmmakers highlight the mundanity of funerals, showing a smoking worker and a bored child before showing an uninterested Lindsay blowing her veil to make it move back and forth.)</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim3Q7Yh7s9G5DvvEtVbIfl-R6z1ziUluvvvgYcr8O_OVcU-OjVmIzrkcepJhUJ-lJNWu0Sk1CzIzy_Z4ybYTyIkhEp5kK2tacsfA3IbB9zR1JfadMGPh6leCMXXM6607r30CfzJMNRwCnGoX-1mY8k6t7G9nW6efmTKzb51z75TRQZjFHAxjm7pynZIA/s2224/LINDSAY%20BLOWING%20VEIL.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1215" data-original-width="2224" height="219" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim3Q7Yh7s9G5DvvEtVbIfl-R6z1ziUluvvvgYcr8O_OVcU-OjVmIzrkcepJhUJ-lJNWu0Sk1CzIzy_Z4ybYTyIkhEp5kK2tacsfA3IbB9zR1JfadMGPh6leCMXXM6607r30CfzJMNRwCnGoX-1mY8k6t7G9nW6efmTKzb51z75TRQZjFHAxjm7pynZIA/w400-h219/LINDSAY%20BLOWING%20VEIL.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>After the funeral, Lindsay approaches the open casket, where the corpse is again a relatively young man, and she bends down to kiss him. However, the mortician interrupts her. “Beautiful, isn’t he,” the man says, and Lindsay runs away.</div><div><br /></div><div>He catches up to her as she climbs into her luxury car. He confronts her: “I believe I do understand. I recognized you from the Baxter funeral on the seventh. I couldn’t help but notice your…affection…for the deceased.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“You must be mistaken. I know no one named Baxter. Please, I don’t want to be rude.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“The word is…necrophilia.” The mortician has Lindsay drive in the funeral procession through suburban streets. “We’re quite normal people. Just with different passions. Our drives and needs aren’t understood by many people, so we have to keep them secret. You’re not alone. In our group, we have several members who…who participate. Who enjoy together.” When they reach the cemetery, he says he can notify her if she cares to join them. He also takes down her name and address from her car registration, which she has perhaps unwisely clipped to the passenger visor.</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, Lindsay receives a letter from the mortician informing her of a meeting at 11:30 tomorrow evening. It also says, “Bring a friend if you feel you would be more at ease on your first visit” because of course going to a necrophiliac orgy for the first time would be less stressful when accompanied by a friend or acquaintance.</div><div><br /></div><div>Lindsay immediately calls Wade, the man who assaulted her in her bedroom, and invites him to dinner. “If you promise to leave your nails at home,” Wade (played by Christopher Stone, looking like a combination of Robert Redford and Peter Graves) quips, “I promise to be on my best behavior, all right?” When she hangs up, she tears up the necrophilia letter, but after her dinner date with Wade she returns home alone—only to drive to the funeral home, her urges and curiosity unsatisfied.</div><div><br /></div><div>In a fascinating scene, Lindsay walks through a room full of empty caskets, with all the linings and pillows looking comfortable and inviting.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgduvvFYl6ZmoTASmd5aL049zH8xqUmy9vkKi5_MuLUrRMg_C3vZEM7uGic6rHnf6WQfQeXcG1PKOCJE8ZpR0VVxGesKhfEMQBhPvg1FRihJEtpf2_quwrcGc5K7fDWRgfBhCSS91YzkaLf_YN2faIqt9MVjza0cfXykdFK8jF9Hg1ayRMBio4k_ccX1w/s2224/CASKETS.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1242" data-original-width="2224" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgduvvFYl6ZmoTASmd5aL049zH8xqUmy9vkKi5_MuLUrRMg_C3vZEM7uGic6rHnf6WQfQeXcG1PKOCJE8ZpR0VVxGesKhfEMQBhPvg1FRihJEtpf2_quwrcGc5K7fDWRgfBhCSS91YzkaLf_YN2faIqt9MVjza0cfXykdFK8jF9Hg1ayRMBio4k_ccX1w/w400-h224/CASKETS.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Eventually, Lindsay finds the room where the necrophilia enthusiasts wait, which happens to be the embalming room. The mortician introduces Lindsay to the corpse of Billy Joe, but she chickens out and runs away. The mortician chases her to her car in the parking lot. “What did you expect?” he asks. He adds, “I understand. It’s too public. You mustn’t let that upset you. A novice can’t be expected to appreciate total involvement. Perhaps I can arrange a more private time…in the future.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Back at Lindsay’s house, Wade confronts her because he thinks she cheated on him by not being at home. She makes the excuse, “Somebody died.” She adds, “Trust me. Don’t ask any more questions.” </div><div><br /></div><div>The next day, a bubbly piano score accompanies Lindsay and Wade on a date to Lyle Waggoner’s art gallery. Mr. Waggoner takes an interest in Lindsay, making Wade a bit jealous and causing him to touch another female patron’s backside.</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, the filmmakers enter a scene at a Japanese restaurant by raising a screen to reveal that Lindsay is now dating Mr. Waggoner’s father figure character, and they are double-dating with Wade and a young woman who appears to be about thirteen years old. </div><div><br /></div><div>After a montage of Lindsay and Mr. Waggoner dating, the filmmakers present a scene at an outdoor restaurant where Lindsay is distracted, presumably sexually, when a hearse drives by.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGaAwTs8gt5pVP-FjfoxW4YjTqHQh3nilEPqooEj-aZqMQ4RVJty7p5HrrBRjOXHEvQgonnArnoYPpLaLb9qfSIdJjSTAzqzpPzNGIAIKQCT5l0EkQi1-I3HmNVzelOLis1kpN-CJ7M8T7iTAPvRKu4-uq5IkPuvsab4kequubgQ6ddHMSVibW-y11XA/s2224/HEARSE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1224" data-original-width="2224" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGaAwTs8gt5pVP-FjfoxW4YjTqHQh3nilEPqooEj-aZqMQ4RVJty7p5HrrBRjOXHEvQgonnArnoYPpLaLb9qfSIdJjSTAzqzpPzNGIAIKQCT5l0EkQi1-I3HmNVzelOLis1kpN-CJ7M8T7iTAPvRKu4-uq5IkPuvsab4kequubgQ6ddHMSVibW-y11XA/w400-h220/HEARSE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Eventually, the couple spends the night alone on the floor in front of a fireplace. Before they can make love, Lindsay pulls away. “Every time I touch you, you turn off,” Mr. Waggoner says. “Now what is it?”</div><div><br /></div><div>She doesn’t explain, but she does kiss him, so he asks, somewhat oddly, “Anybody ever tell you what a hot, passionate broad you are?” Later, he says pointedly, “Maybe I’m a little odd or something. With me, it’s got to be a two-way thing.”</div><div><br /></div><div>After Mr. Waggoner leaves, Lindsay gets a call from the mortician and she drives to a more private opportunity to satisfy her necrophiliac urges, unaware that Wade has spotted her car and follows her. After the mortician leaves Lindsay in a room with the sheet-covered corpse of another relatively young (though out-of-shape) cadaver, Wade sneaks through the funeral home.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMEOAJG69c8fOeKZOzTlvHHooxFnwi_FxvVVvn9IrDWIlgqmTbakUE_GYZVfPg_fN3M3HOVi99Z0jWahY1LV1ykkiCYesDuebDJC7fsuje5aa5DOi58kXKH_A2AapkSpEL_QZ56-v4GWgNOxyTKLdTXSoD03QVMAI-4HicjQlv9LKGho3D515yMmzdoA/s2224/KISSING%20CORPSE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1171" data-original-width="2224" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMEOAJG69c8fOeKZOzTlvHHooxFnwi_FxvVVvn9IrDWIlgqmTbakUE_GYZVfPg_fN3M3HOVi99Z0jWahY1LV1ykkiCYesDuebDJC7fsuje5aa5DOi58kXKH_A2AapkSpEL_QZ56-v4GWgNOxyTKLdTXSoD03QVMAI-4HicjQlv9LKGho3D515yMmzdoA/w400-h210/KISSING%20CORPSE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Wade stumbles upon one of the mortuary workers embalming a corpse, and when he asks where Lindsay went the worker stabs him with the embalming needle. Wade falls to the floor, dead, and Lindsay, alerted by his screaming, runs to the room.</div><div><br /></div><div>Of course, the mortician and his cronies tie up Wade and hoist him toward the ceiling on ropes tied to his wrists. Here, the group of necrophiliacs reveals itself to be not just a harmless group of people who copulate with corpses but, in fact, black-robed Satanists!</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZQdP01uqZdFB3U5ZNsnNzaS3X8UCEhrUtPNsjGRJpzZDgptVfdbl-RzLFPIfaf4Tw2JxGUJWtHaX1r1zJCZ85A3sOup_c78aGX1hkWDmHrQrzH19kEJfKDrhAs0f7DxT_jVhiXkSkdAE0mDvQ75ypFxDstgoKUCi9Uhk60MfSGqBg0yN-z-4oXtaeXQ/s2224/HOISTING%20RAY.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1243" data-original-width="2224" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZQdP01uqZdFB3U5ZNsnNzaS3X8UCEhrUtPNsjGRJpzZDgptVfdbl-RzLFPIfaf4Tw2JxGUJWtHaX1r1zJCZ85A3sOup_c78aGX1hkWDmHrQrzH19kEJfKDrhAs0f7DxT_jVhiXkSkdAE0mDvQ75ypFxDstgoKUCi9Uhk60MfSGqBg0yN-z-4oXtaeXQ/w400-h224/HOISTING%20RAY.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Suddenly, Lindsay wakes up in bed. It was all a dream—not the necrophilia part, but the Satanist part!</div><div><br /></div><div>When Mr. Waggoner comforts Lindsay, he asks her to marry her, and the filmmakers cut to the wedding ceremony and then to their bedroom on their wedding night. Unfortunately for everyone involved, Lindsay still can’t make love with a live human man. “You knew I had difficulties,” she whispers to him.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Lindsay, we are married!” yells Mr. Waggoner. “Look, I don’t want to hurt you. You’re my wife. I just want to make love to you.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“It’s not that I don’t want to make love. I just can’t!”</div><div><br /></div><div>He puts on his robe and leaves the bedroom. She cries and says, “Give me time.”</div><div><br /></div><div>After a wordless scene set in Mr. Waggoner’s art gallery in which Lindsay appears to lose a sale for Mr. Waggoner (thought it is difficult to tell what is actually happening with the actors’ pantomiming), the filmmakers present a driving scene in which Mr. Waggoner sees an oblivious Lindsay driving to a funeral. He follows her in his own car. Instead of confronting her, he waits for her to get home to ask her where she spent her day. She simply brushes him off.</div><div><br /></div><div>The next day, Mr. Waggoner arrives home to find Lindsay gone and an Irish maid vacuuming the house. Although the audience has never seen the maid before, it turns out she took care of Lindsay and her father after her father passed away. The maid, Miss Pritchard, says, “After her father…well, when she was in school, I took care of this great house all by myself. Afore she could drive, it was all right for me to take her to the graveyard every other day. Now I’m supposed to clean this great house in two days a week.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“But why?” Mr. Waggoner asks. “Why the graveyard?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“That’s where she is, I reckon. Oh, tain’t natural, Mr. Martin, to mourn the dead forever. I told her it weren’t right. That’s when she moved me out of this house.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Mr. Waggoner asks what ceremony Lindsay frequents. When he drives there, he finds Lindsay literally dancing on her father’s grave.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi36uHwjL78Pa6Qc5eytB6qhztc-QfJLCPJpoYvcf-wGo5vRoHn553iaskeEG_FDJ3KWOwahAr4XJGE9KxAVXNqZhIxtfOSWyHRLM9p6q2XyyjxoeMt3UEuvgzWgI5b-0VeXWX1AfNKP37k_6DUmRUYP8T2LavLFz7T4sc1PVgl-cTTNCta1XzGLvJVrg/s2224/LINDSAY%20DANCING.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1226" data-original-width="2224" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi36uHwjL78Pa6Qc5eytB6qhztc-QfJLCPJpoYvcf-wGo5vRoHn553iaskeEG_FDJ3KWOwahAr4XJGE9KxAVXNqZhIxtfOSWyHRLM9p6q2XyyjxoeMt3UEuvgzWgI5b-0VeXWX1AfNKP37k_6DUmRUYP8T2LavLFz7T4sc1PVgl-cTTNCta1XzGLvJVrg/w400-h220/LINDSAY%20DANCING.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>When she sees Mr. Waggoner, she screams like a child. “This is not your place!” She climbs into her car and drives away. The camera zooms in on Mr. Waggoner’s face to reveal a bright tear in his left eye.</div><div><br /></div><div>The next morning, Mr. Waggoner finally confronts Lindsay about her peculiarities. The scene takes place in a breakfast nook. When Mr. Waggoner asks Lindsay to take a seat next to him, the camera moves toward both actors and a shadow slowly covers Mr. Waggoner’s body. An inexperienced cineaste might consider the shadow to be a mark of incompetence on the film crew’s part, but a more sophisticated viewer would realize the shadow of the camera is a potent metaphor for Lindsay’s inability to see Mr. Waggoner’s body as anything but dark and foreboding.</div><div><br /></div><div>Lindsay admits nothing except her desire to fire her maid. She storms off, leaving Mr. Waggoner to complain that they’re living like children. Then he signs for a registered letter to Lindsay from a funeral home. As a responsible person, he gives the letter to Lindsay rather than opening it and reading it himself.</div><div><br /></div><div>However, before Mr. Waggoner goes to his mother’s dinner party, leaving Lindsay at home, he reads the now-open letter inviting Lindsay to an event at the funeral home tonight at 10:00. He leaves dinner early so he can follow Lindsay to the funeral home, just like Wade. </div><div><br /></div><div>Interestingly, the event taking place at the funeral home involves the group of necrophiliacs dressed in black robes and holding candles, just like in Lindsay’s dream. Mr. Waggoner walks in on a nude Lindsay straddling a corpse in the embalming room.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh43UYnGysuUwVwuGYhbqhlslKWOGjGZEHqlpuK6xs3VK7pVDLtgg24Wpp1II1ly_gLcAyJ6x5t_jbQnQ1deRmGqxxlLayfIVbzsh7QaHNcqBvQ_PVXZEtGWFnlL8n9IFK6Ms1h7kdQn5tKZQ3bNAjJmSvqW3abkA-e0_yXjni96qhR4EluxtHAIVC4YA/s2224/STRADDLING.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1216" data-original-width="2224" height="219" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh43UYnGysuUwVwuGYhbqhlslKWOGjGZEHqlpuK6xs3VK7pVDLtgg24Wpp1II1ly_gLcAyJ6x5t_jbQnQ1deRmGqxxlLayfIVbzsh7QaHNcqBvQ_PVXZEtGWFnlL8n9IFK6Ms1h7kdQn5tKZQ3bNAjJmSvqW3abkA-e0_yXjni96qhR4EluxtHAIVC4YA/w400-h219/STRADDLING.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Unfortunately for Mr. Waggoner, he is attacked by the mortician, who stabs him with a surgical knife. </div><div><br /></div><div>Later, the mortician gives Lindsay an injection as she lies on her bed. “This will make you relax,” he says, adding, “Now just relax.” He reveals, ironically, that the murder can give her everything she’s wanted. “I brought Alex home. He’s across the hall in his room. And I’ve prepared him for you. He can be yours now. Always. Forever. Now sleep. Sleep.”</div><div><br /></div><div>As she rests, she flashes back to her father’s death, which she caused as a seven-year-old by shooting him with either an antique flintlock or a double-barreled shotgun. </div><div><br /></div><div>In the film’s finale, a groggy Lindsay walks in on the mortician slicing up Mr. Waggoner’s corpse. As he begins to cut off Mr. Waggoner’s finger, for unknown reasons, Lindsay hits the mortician over the head with a small statue. Then she climbs into bed with Mr. Waggoner’s body, snuggling with it as she remembers putting her teddy bear into her father’s casket and kissing him.</div><div><br /></div><hr /><div><br /></div><div>Love Me Deadly is a good example of a film that works hard to integrate its two personalities, as it is both a taboo-bursting exploitation film where necrophiliacs embalm victims alive for possibly Satanic purposes as well as a sensitive relationship drama about a traumatized woman unable to come to terms with her unusual desires. The casting of the film is perfect, with an excellent Mary Wilcox torn between swinging Christopher Stone (and by extension various corpses) and staid, conventional Lyle Waggoner (choosing to appear in this necrophilia drama just one year before leaving The Carol Burnett Show). The film's ending, where both sides of her personality come together, is a satisfying conclusion to the tragic affair.</div><div><br /></div></div>Doctor Pseudonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07584099620426375486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-909065385728154804.post-64294132762050935272023-06-19T04:00:00.096-07:002023-06-19T04:00:00.134-07:00"Too Many Male Hormones" - Fatal Games (1984)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja8EUid3TBUPDB43yGgcVhvdsDBRrBOSVu2cYvxzGV30dJqog49WZ3ahBJKkRJ_b37RetfYEziWqwtSDJ_1Qyh3-1YXbUW9PUXAZuYEUGYBwYKXjPjuK2g6bQPeWqhR1s3wrzgv4O6jtC5IMPj7aeahwkjkkA2Z3Kj21sfiTkVHo84z8AAvGXxitNL0g/s1138/Fatal%20Games%20Title.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="1138" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja8EUid3TBUPDB43yGgcVhvdsDBRrBOSVu2cYvxzGV30dJqog49WZ3ahBJKkRJ_b37RetfYEziWqwtSDJ_1Qyh3-1YXbUW9PUXAZuYEUGYBwYKXjPjuK2g6bQPeWqhR1s3wrzgv4O6jtC5IMPj7aeahwkjkkA2Z3Kj21sfiTkVHo84z8AAvGXxitNL0g/w640-h224/Fatal%20Games%20Title.png" width="640" /></a></div>Fatal Games (1984) is a fine example of the mid-eighties slasher film, employing the clever hook of being set at an athletics academy where fit young people compete to prepare for the Olympics. In the tradition of <a href="https://www.senselesscinema.com/2018/01/graduation-day.html" target="_blank">Graduation Day</a> (1981), the killer uses athletic equipment to commit murder, though the killer in Fatal Games is more limited than the killer in the other film, using only a javelin.<div><br /></div><div>Some reviewers are somewhat uninterested in the quality of Fatal Games. For example, reviewer Phroggy <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw0210455/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "Good if you want some noise in the background and raises your eyes when you hear a scream. Otherwise, skip it." Reviewer thesar-2 writes, "The movie was extremely hard to watch." And reviewer blurnieghey <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw8521841/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "The death scenes were lack-luster and cheap."</div><div><br /></div><div>Read on for the truth about Fatal Games...<br /><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span><a name='more'></a></span>The film begins with a title sequence set in a gymnasium at the Falcon Academy of Athletics in Massachusetts, where gymnasts are competing in preparation for something called “the nationals competitions.” A brilliant Shuki Levy song plays as the titles roll—a song so well written I must transcribe some of the words here:</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Take it all the way,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Take it to the limit and don’t look back now,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Take it all the way,</div><div style="text-align: center;">No second chance, you’re on your own now,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Winning isn’t everything,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Winning is the only thing,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Take it all the way!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Ain’t no other way,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Being first, that’s all that matters,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Go all the way,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Cause no one else can do it better,</div><div style="text-align: center;">After this and you’ll never fall,</div><div style="text-align: center;">The winner always takes it all,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Take it all the way!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Can you feel the spirit rise?</div><div style="text-align: center;">When the look is in your eyes?</div><div style="text-align: center;">Soon you’re gonna make your dreams come true.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Take it to the limit,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Take it to the limit,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Take it to the limit,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Just give it all you gotta give, yeah!</div><div><br /></div><div>At a banquet celebrating the gymnasts (before which one of the gymnasts deals with the problem of no napkins by stealing a roll of paper towels from a nearby bathroom), the school’s benefactor Sam Berger gives a long speech. As he speaks (imparting deep thoughts such as, “In a democracy like ours, we know that financial support for athletics must come from private institutions, not government subsidies like that of totalitarian regimes”), the athletes get into a subtle food fight, flinging popcorn and hot dogs at one another at a reckless pace. Eventually, the tomfoolery gets out of hand as a spontaneous tug-of-war breaks out with the athletes pulling a tablecloth back and forth.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyuQuxXYcGkBMxEWNQwV9FnHPAnXbwL6GN6R6VdAvi4g4Q9C2udKXdH4MZvqZLprJIGLN2ATBMX-ROkerTsfjMdIfd0GtrB7Rxvs_G44AxG-hJpLRgDtL225lhbsjtwAuUqk8bFV5hfdC0-ZRggQBzoMtVynhl1T2_Xak6liZyntedf0yihxOcNGGvBw/s2224/TUG%20OF%20WAR.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1595" data-original-width="2224" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyuQuxXYcGkBMxEWNQwV9FnHPAnXbwL6GN6R6VdAvi4g4Q9C2udKXdH4MZvqZLprJIGLN2ATBMX-ROkerTsfjMdIfd0GtrB7Rxvs_G44AxG-hJpLRgDtL225lhbsjtwAuUqk8bFV5hfdC0-ZRggQBzoMtVynhl1T2_Xak6liZyntedf0yihxOcNGGvBw/w400-h286/TUG%20OF%20WAR.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The next morning, various athletes shower with each other and make love. At the same time, they discuss an important issue — the school is providing all the athletes with performance-enhancing drugs. “Babe, everybody’s doing it,” says an athlete named Frank. “And you don’t see them dropping dead, do you?”</div><div><br /></div><div>After a scene in the school’s medical clinic reinforcing the fact that the academy is openly pumping steroids into all the athletes, and a javelin practice scene in which the coach berates a male athlete named Joe (“What are you, a ballet dancer? Keep that up and we’ll have to get you a tutu!”), the film presents two locker room scenes. In the men’s locker room, the men tease each other while showering wearing towels and athletic supporters, while in the women’s locker room, the women shower completely nude. Then, in true slasher film fashion, a female athlete named Nancy goes to an empty weight room to train by herself. In a shockingly sudden shot, she is thrown into the wall, her stomach pierced by a javelin.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUF4QS-USMWSXu1A91tk077BFtIle0B6-E5Ja6EUkfAep1hLVGhZXN6pQe2ugCscCOPpWtiHe_iGIwwaVOJvBS5CxmL0_zRGu04vhO-zddauFEIULYQdi_ysrr_QD3NG0aBqQ0-j3ftiCE2EpU0ZI4268dtnQAmkZUSMeiC5aIStfg9s6vK50rSCnyBA/s2224/NANCY%20JAVELIN%20KILL.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1584" data-original-width="2224" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUF4QS-USMWSXu1A91tk077BFtIle0B6-E5Ja6EUkfAep1hLVGhZXN6pQe2ugCscCOPpWtiHe_iGIwwaVOJvBS5CxmL0_zRGu04vhO-zddauFEIULYQdi_ysrr_QD3NG0aBqQ0-j3ftiCE2EpU0ZI4268dtnQAmkZUSMeiC5aIStfg9s6vK50rSCnyBA/w400-h285/NANCY%20JAVELIN%20KILL.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Somehow pinned to the wall a few feet above the floor (implying the javelin was thrown from an extremely low angle), Nancy slumps down when the unseen killer removes the javelin.</div><div><br /></div><div>The next day, one of the athletes, Annie, is told by her massage therapist (played by Sally Kirkland) that the doctor in charge is going to start Annie on hormones because her breasts are developing too quickly.</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, a female athlete named Sue stays by herself in the steam room until dark, earning herself attention from the javelin killer.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMgKfZnXI5GxeXCgEFCyu2wtygkF9sMDvfQdlv4AZ-4iIyw7s8we-9K7cPmE85X7ryyGZtPSHxriFafMpklGk4zU_PsGmPV_LwNIgj-jdCi-ReV6yrQFDhxkuAkfQk2v1hv3n4m5jtc71bK4cmLR7R0Y2KN9NLhTNa-kN_I8xWY8kJan2orW2IHRLLUg/s2224/SILHOUETTE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1593" data-original-width="2224" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMgKfZnXI5GxeXCgEFCyu2wtygkF9sMDvfQdlv4AZ-4iIyw7s8we-9K7cPmE85X7ryyGZtPSHxriFafMpklGk4zU_PsGmPV_LwNIgj-jdCi-ReV6yrQFDhxkuAkfQk2v1hv3n4m5jtc71bK4cmLR7R0Y2KN9NLhTNa-kN_I8xWY8kJan2orW2IHRLLUg/w400-h286/SILHOUETTE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Sue runs nude through the school’s hallways. In one of the film’s most effective scenes, we see her pounding silently on a second-floor window from the inside of the school while the other students are outside, oblivious to her struggles. Sue is javelined to death and her body is stuffed under a locker room bench. In another effective sequence, Annie retrieves books from her locker, nearly touching Sue’s corpse when Annie’s padlock falls to the floor.</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, Annie confronts her father, who wants her to quit the academy because her grades are falling. She convinces him to continue her enrollment, but he expects her to do better in her classes, something she jokes about with a classmate.</div><div><br /></div><div>At night, two athletes who happen to be boyfriend and girlfriend race each other across the swimming pool. Oddly, the male athlete removes his swimsuit as he dives into the pool. When they both reach the other side, the woman (who might not be the best actress in the cast) complains, “That’s not fair. You distracted me and you weren’t wearing your suit.” Of course, they start kissing in the pool, unaware that the killer is in the building. Defying audience expectations, however, nothing happens to the couple, and the film cuts to a swim race the next day, with the female swimmer winning her race.</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, however, there is another murder, as Joe practices throwing the javelin alone on the field, only to be penetrated by a javelin thrown by a figure dressed in black on top of the announcer’s booth in the stands.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS-XALpDm0m-ATlD86955eYYRYYnPI-b7TjfiplucAFzyhHqEazc5_Gt1yVaOpjzM4HjjrSgDXqNhzX4gGHe5BgwheXXy-f_xt9QNbAaaW51DtbkvsCb0PL1H9XgOlkTyW2vqPqHAaqcn0MINqi9RSZ_cixGfltiBpFT1pJVmnR1twn-EyVnu6Cqf4Xw/s2224/JOE%20PENETRATED.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1595" data-original-width="2224" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS-XALpDm0m-ATlD86955eYYRYYnPI-b7TjfiplucAFzyhHqEazc5_Gt1yVaOpjzM4HjjrSgDXqNhzX4gGHe5BgwheXXy-f_xt9QNbAaaW51DtbkvsCb0PL1H9XgOlkTyW2vqPqHAaqcn0MINqi9RSZ_cixGfltiBpFT1pJVmnR1twn-EyVnu6Cqf4Xw/w400-h286/JOE%20PENETRATED.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>In a twist on the usual investigation in a slasher film, we watch the academy’s coaching staff recap the plot during a staff meeting where they, not the police, are investigating the disappearances of their athletes. “Frankly, I’m baffled,” says one of the coaches.</div><div><br /></div><div>“This is unbelievable,” says the doctor who is head of the coaching staff. “Three of our seven medal winners have completely vanished, and we don’t have the faintest idea where they are?” He threatens to fire the coaches if they can’t keep track of their athletes, ignoring a coach’s suggestion that the steroids they have been giving to the athletes might have something to do with the disappearances. This leads to a scene in a bar with Sally Kirkland and javelin coach Weber complaining that they didn’t use steroids when they almost made it to the Olympics.</div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, Phil drags Annie to a surprise birthday party for her at a Mexican restaurant that has a guitarist serenade the table before Annie arrives. As they leave the restaurant, Frank quips, “Annie, are you going over to Phil’s tonight to do some acrobatics…on his uneven bar?”</div><div><br /></div><div>When they do reach Phil’s apartment, he comedically does one hundred pushups on the floor rather than having sex. She tells him she can’t move in with him because her parents would be disappointed. She also says she will help clean up his apartment. Then, somewhat confusingly, the film cuts to Phil taking a phone call on a pay phone outside their school, then explaining to Annie that he has been invited to train with the Philadelphia Phillies at summer training, which will of course force him to be in Philadelphia all summer. (The film’s screenplay is a classic example of the second act hurling complications at its main characters.)</div><div><br /></div><div>The disappointing news about Phil’s summer plans leads to Annie going to the dark steam room all alone to cry and ponder where her life and boyfriend have taken her. She is blissfully unaware that the masked javelin-thrower is stalking her (briefly, and uneventfully) through the halls of the school.</div><div><br /></div><div>Shortly later, two of the coaches hear a scream and run to find Annie doubled over on the floor. However, in a shocking twist, instead of having been javelined, Annie appears to be having a reaction to the steroids that have been injected into all the athletes. Coach Sally Kirkland helps Annie back to the coach’s surprisingly spacious house. Coach Kirkland calls the doctor to report the problem and he tells her to keep everything quiet—while, incidentally, he stabs a live beetle with a pin to add to a collection of tortured insects. (Again, the screenplay is a textbook example of using visual symbolism to represent character.)</div><div><br /></div><div>The next day, Annie and Phil immediately get back together when Phil says he is a runner, not a baseball player, so he will not go to summer camp with the Phillies. Meanwhile, gymnastt Frank breaks his leg due to a bad dismount. He is wheeled on a gurney into a storage room while they wait for an ambulance to arrive. Frank gets a dramatic moment to show his acting skills when a coach says, “Listen, Frank, this is just as bad for us as it is for you.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Has anybody ever won with a cast on, coach?” he asks, presumably rhetorically. When his girlfriend Lynn asks if his leg hurts a lot, Frank expresses tearfully, “Hurt? I’ll tell you what hurts. I’m out of the Nationals, that’s what hurts!” Even more tearfully, he encourages Lynn not to come to the hospital with him but to continue working out. “You’re gonna win for both of us.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, a shadowy figure stalks Lynn, who is practicing at night in the empty school’s empty pool. In an inventive technique for a slasher film, the shadowy figure climbs into the pool and sits at the bottom, holding the javelin and waiting for the swimmer to approach. At the right moment, the killer launches upward, stabbing the swimmer with the javelin.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgveP4aG3U5zuadC4ndHMSBZ9ODuZmNQ7cDpMTkX0JeJpITY84hFvA-HvxPbPIQAjiEXnz_XW09xovtc0O0B0-t6JXGp2ELpOVAWVfU1TrK0yVAWlW_FJW1w7g4jvKbaTHE_z4U7HqEGMYnz4EoUkRlhqBJJK3f_yU2wbesikNCsekMdPMdTP6SY_T50w/s2191/JAVELIN%20KILLS%20SWIMMER.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1640" data-original-width="2191" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgveP4aG3U5zuadC4ndHMSBZ9ODuZmNQ7cDpMTkX0JeJpITY84hFvA-HvxPbPIQAjiEXnz_XW09xovtc0O0B0-t6JXGp2ELpOVAWVfU1TrK0yVAWlW_FJW1w7g4jvKbaTHE_z4U7HqEGMYnz4EoUkRlhqBJJK3f_yU2wbesikNCsekMdPMdTP6SY_T50w/w400-h300/JAVELIN%20KILLS%20SWIMMER.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The next day, the coaches gather at the behest of the doctor, who shows them a photo he found in the coaches’ office—a photo showing the top seven athletes at the school with four of them X’ed out (a development perhaps inspired by 1981’s <a href="https://www.senselesscinema.com/2018/01/graduation-day.html" target="_blank">Graduation Day</a>).</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPBNiLgAwCUr46JA4XFHpfgaJ7gZg8N41b5vikGRCPA6U8dECEfq3iFYQ0rvzHkGITi7R7RcRjUDx4VVBesz7QY5EVW7-2zSZr5htdWk52HnDahJ7jgwLMwN6_qNocK7zHKCHRe8wuvXayxCs-l1Vwicgs21QmsPlGX2x9w6JVNhDfX6pIE7q7D1glvg/s2227/PHOTO%20WITH%20XS.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1640" data-original-width="2227" height="295" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPBNiLgAwCUr46JA4XFHpfgaJ7gZg8N41b5vikGRCPA6U8dECEfq3iFYQ0rvzHkGITi7R7RcRjUDx4VVBesz7QY5EVW7-2zSZr5htdWk52HnDahJ7jgwLMwN6_qNocK7zHKCHRe8wuvXayxCs-l1Vwicgs21QmsPlGX2x9w6JVNhDfX6pIE7q7D1glvg/w400-h295/PHOTO%20WITH%20XS.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Later, Frank tells Phil he is suspicious about the missing students, a group that includes his girlfriend Lynn. The three surviving top athletes comprise only Frank, Phil, and Annie.</div><div><br /></div><div>Frank, using his crutches due to his broken leg, smashes a window and breaks into the school (calling into question how easy it was for others to enter the deserted school and train in the middle of the night in previous scenes). Frank makes his way through the training facilities until he sees a light in an office turn on. Panicking, he runs back through the facilities and finds another office, where he rifles through files until he finds a sheet of paper important enough to slip into his pocket. Then he breaks through what appears to be a hidden door leading into a basement. After 15 minutes or so of looking around, Frank picks up a crowbar from the ground and smashes the lock on a locker, revealing, shockingly, the dead body of Lynn, along with the bodies of the other murdered athletes.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXxxboag-7VHMwpQBq0U4JBAs5vdFuhdodwcUekztvq0depEPTtBrLkJEPaX_juD67b8Mr8qGg4lZ_ESwfjgSOhr8d4m8wEblAfWfIkVOT9gBMTl7BrbT409T1_Xr4QgKCQwDWfIrncWaeleaCyxZAl65Zbyvrw_DoLz5gfk48GMX3qFwD5aWpokHUBA/s2172/LYNN%E2%80%99S%20BODY.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1640" data-original-width="2172" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXxxboag-7VHMwpQBq0U4JBAs5vdFuhdodwcUekztvq0depEPTtBrLkJEPaX_juD67b8Mr8qGg4lZ_ESwfjgSOhr8d4m8wEblAfWfIkVOT9gBMTl7BrbT409T1_Xr4QgKCQwDWfIrncWaeleaCyxZAl65Zbyvrw_DoLz5gfk48GMX3qFwD5aWpokHUBA/w400-h303/LYNN%E2%80%99S%20BODY.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>At that exact moment, the javelin killer bursts into the basement and chases Frank. Also at that exact moment, Annie breaks into the school. Frank is javelined to death in a stairwell, but Annie hears his scream and searches for him. She finds both the body and the killer, resulting in another chase through the halls. Annie is lucky (or, perhaps, protected by the final girl’s air of purity) in that the killer’s javelin tosses miss her, allowing her to hide in another of the school’s dozen or so locker rooms. Confronted by the killer, she receives an injury when the javelin stabs her stomach, but she is rescued by Phil. He carries her to Sally Kirkland’s office (probably doing more harm than good to her injury).</div><div><br /></div><div>Shockingly, the killer is revealed to the audience to be Coach Kirkland wearing a black raincoat!</div><div><br /></div><div>In the training room, Coach Kirkland pretends to help Annie, but Annie sees through her ruse when she notices an old newspaper lying on a table with the helpfully expository headline “Sex Change Operation Doesn’t Work” and the subheads “Olympic Champion Disqualified” and, least grammatically of all, “Diane Paine, Javelin Winner, Tests Showed Too Many Male Hormones.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Annie, no longer in pain, jumps off a gurney and runs through the halls, chased by Coach Kirkland and her deadly javelin. Coach Kirkland (whose voice is now considerably deeper) yells for Annie to show herself. “I don’t want to disqualify you, but that’s what I’m going to have to do! ‘He’ must disqualify anyone who might ever make it!” she says, revealing her somewhat confusing motivation for killing the seven champions.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the end, Coach Kirkland falls off a painter’s scaffold and her abdomen is bizarrely impaled on a trophy depicting a victorious angel. The film simply ends with this image frozen as the credits roll, accompanied by the catchy main title song.</div><div><br /></div><hr /><br /></div><div>It must be acknowledged that the gender-switching twist revealing the killer's identity in Fatal Games is distasteful, not to mention unconvincing. Perhaps this is the first or even only slasher film in which the killer is revealed to be insane due in part to their disregard of gender norms? Or perhaps not. Though I have viewed many slasher films, I don't recall any of them bringing gender issues, so I will discard this line of thought as unproductive.</div><div><br /></div><div>However one views the film's stance on gender, it is, as mentioned in my review, almost textbook-perfect in its adherence to several aspects of the slasher film's timeless appeal. In addition to the quality of its screenplay, the film's balance of story, nudity, and violence is the Platonic ideal of the mid-eighties slasher film. In the beginning, there is an early murder surrounded by various sequences displaying female nudity. In the middle, the story kicks in and the audience is captivated by the struggles of Annie and Phil to both stay alive and maintain their sometimes-rocky relationship. And in the end, more violence returns until the climactic chase, which ends with a final twist and an ironic comeuppance (i.e., gory death) for the killer. While some might like other slasher films, nobody in their right mind could argue that Fatal Games is not an archetypal example of the subgenre.<br /><div><br /></div></div>Doctor Pseudonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07584099620426375486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-909065385728154804.post-75524086416064065162023-06-05T04:00:00.087-07:002023-06-05T04:00:00.133-07:00“You Didn’t Believe That Old Lady’s Story About a Legend, Did You?” - Satan's Blade (1984)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKFSl6mF0ptpjI2WR9axSNWuN1rk3zR0KrCVPPXVdkNCRYdfMnFFAAwQTN-7uJqpHzYcDpg26qdsl0sYZqtOScWzugBFWcnDfFmkP899s0LKh8kFSWHtMtGVdDZaXm5uFaGx8Uj1T5BYatMtzigjqSllkMEVkSh8-FQMAYyt_ozGAnkLwaFCqURwv_pg/s1234/Satan's%20Blade%20Title.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="1234" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKFSl6mF0ptpjI2WR9axSNWuN1rk3zR0KrCVPPXVdkNCRYdfMnFFAAwQTN-7uJqpHzYcDpg26qdsl0sYZqtOScWzugBFWcnDfFmkP899s0LKh8kFSWHtMtGVdDZaXm5uFaGx8Uj1T5BYatMtzigjqSllkMEVkSh8-FQMAYyt_ozGAnkLwaFCqURwv_pg/w640-h208/Satan's%20Blade%20Title.png" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;">The pool of classic regional slashers and porto-slashers is seemingly bottomless. Today we look at Satan's Blade (1984), a California-shot slasher film with (possibly) supernatural overtones filmed in the beautiful snow-covered San Bernardino National Forest.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Predictably, many of your universe's critics do not understand even so simple a film as Satan's Blade. For example, reviewer Logan-22 <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw0692636/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "This movie stinks. Everything about it is substandard from the acting to the script to the special effects." Reviewer fnv790 <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1284720/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a> derogatorily and clearly incorrectly, "It appears to be the most low budget film ever produced." And reviewer rooee <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw3508999/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "Welcome to the longest 80 minutes of your life."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Read on for the truth about Satan's Blade...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div><span><a name='more'></a></span>The film begins as a knife slams into a tree and then begins to glow red. After the main titles, two coworkers at Sierra Foothill Bank (an establishment with no parking lot) leave their place of employment on a Friday afternoon. (They will never be seen again.) Seconds later, two gunmen force another employee to open the door to the (security guard-free) bank. They steal a few hundred dollars from a cash box left out on a desk while one of the robbers attempts to rape a female teller at knifepoint before shooting her and her coworker. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA78ZgOB-nyAnNJ4JQdzFzV9bu_C_iczwho3Uduarvuwyglbf84N6ZiLmbl6F0Yyp8TiJQLW0cXhkMH4I3jize9n2wbDZu1UaBinONgJChG7cuu5H30q7iQTKb85BMDC0zzI7f-TX7_-PaB7-saj10PZYVt_1qPEdJ9A7xKsCm9I477RhnF6GC5loZOA/s2360/TELLERS%20DYING.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1640" data-original-width="2360" height="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA78ZgOB-nyAnNJ4JQdzFzV9bu_C_iczwho3Uduarvuwyglbf84N6ZiLmbl6F0Yyp8TiJQLW0cXhkMH4I3jize9n2wbDZu1UaBinONgJChG7cuu5H30q7iQTKb85BMDC0zzI7f-TX7_-PaB7-saj10PZYVt_1qPEdJ9A7xKsCm9I477RhnF6GC5loZOA/w400-h278/TELLERS%20DYING.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The robbers race away in their car and the filmmakers dissolve to the remote, snowy mountains. The two robbers enter a cabin, where they are revealed to be, shockingly, two young women. They hide their loot behind an air vent near the ceiling. “Now all we have to do is wait,” says one of the robbers, Ruth.</div><div><br /></div><div>“That’s going to be the hardest part. I don’t know if I can wait to spend all that money.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Things should calm down in a couple of days, so just try and keep yourself together until George gets here.”</div><div><br /></div><div>To help themselves relax, Ruth runs a bath while her partner, Trish, strips down to her underwear. </div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, a shadowy figure approaches the cabin from outside. </div><div><br /></div><div>As Trish gets ready to bathe, the two robbers fill us in on some backstory, discussing the fact that George used to work at the bank so he knows its security system (which presumably consists solely of two bank tellers). They also reveal a twist: Ruth no longer needs George, so she plans to kill him so she and Trish will be left with the $50,000 they stole. Ruth, however, has something else in store: She approaches Trish topless in the bathroom and shoots her in the abdomen. Laughing maniacally, Ruth quips, “Trish, dear, I’m afraid you’re going to have to take your bath in the lake.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Shockingly, Ruth’s plan falls apart as she drags her partner’s body to the front door. The shadowy figure from outside stabs Ruth, killing her.</div><div><br /></div><div>The next morning, two incompetent sheriff’s deputies investigate reports of shots being fired at the cabin. They find the bodies of the robbers and an X symbol drawn on the wall with blood.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7fJLjB5bsThQmpfLqIWLZuC2yVLFez6TtKg3JoqS0MkviSAFE5Z5tbTKN54UMiBxr8efPpDzRSUCpeotUCZIn_qhox2YekVlJYhMGfOh9MjbjjgixQeYbsm79yLTsYXpUWSBdpYQ-cjbUNA86gdbAESFK_P1-Y4_5Bq2sRewaSLdxT4auZy3QH2NyiQ/s2224/BLOOD%20SYMBOL.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="2224" height="288" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7fJLjB5bsThQmpfLqIWLZuC2yVLFez6TtKg3JoqS0MkviSAFE5Z5tbTKN54UMiBxr8efPpDzRSUCpeotUCZIn_qhox2YekVlJYhMGfOh9MjbjjgixQeYbsm79yLTsYXpUWSBdpYQ-cjbUNA86gdbAESFK_P1-Y4_5Bq2sRewaSLdxT4auZy3QH2NyiQ/w400-h288/BLOOD%20SYMBOL.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Later, we watch a car drive through a snow-covered landscape. We hear the passengers in the car speaking, though we don’t see them yet. “It’s not every day you pass the bar exam,” says a man.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Listen to this,” says another man incredulously. “I’m the lawyer and he’s defending me.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Well,” says a woman, “that’s what Al is good for. He’ll defend anyone…especially if it means he’ll get to eat sooner.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, at the rental office for the murder cabin, the investigating deputies are distracted by the manager’s mother’s theory about the murders. “No one will be safe, if it’s what I think it is,” she says.</div><div><br /></div><div>One of the deputies is interested in her theory, which involves a local legend. “Hey, I’ve heard that. That’s the one about the mountain man whose spirit still roams through these hills!”</div><div><br /></div><div>The deputies leave, and the two couples from the car enter the lobby. Tony, the newly minted lawyer, says casually, “I read about a murder that happened here last night. The papers were a little sketchy. Anything you can tell me?”</div><div><br /></div><div>Before the manager and his mother can fill in any details, a group of five young women enters the lobby. The manager says there is only one available cabin. After some back-and-forth conversation, the manager’s mother tells the guests (and the audience) the legend. “There was a time when there wasn’t a soul living in these parts…except for a giant man and his family.” (At this point, interestingly, none of the holidaygoers ask about the use of the word “giant.”) “The mountains provided everything they needed. But then, the people started coming in. They bought land…changed things. They forced him higher and higher up the mountains until he didn’t have a place to live in for himself. And that’s when he decided to fight back…for the land he thought was rightfully his. So he asked the gods of these mountains for help.” (At this point, interestingly, none of the holidaygoers ask about the use of the word “gods.”) “They say he was given a weapon, but that wasn’t from the gods. That was from the evil spirits of these mountains that wanted them for themselves. They tricked him into using the weapon to kill not only the people that were coming in, but even his own family. And some say even himself. Still others believe he lives beneath the waters of the lake, where he has become a monster of death and stalks all who come to these mountains.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Tony sums up what we are all thinking: “That’s it?”</div><div><br /></div><div>Of course, the five young women decide to take the murder cabin, reasoning there will be nowhere else to stay. The manager tells them the one rule: No partying till all hours of the night.</div><div><br /></div><div>In a well-timed comedic scene, one of the women tells Tony that the young women will be good, to which Tony responds, “I wouldn’t worry. I just hope we don’t keep you up with our party.” He chuckles, then looks at his partner, whose arms are crossed over her chest, and his smile disappears.</div><div><br /></div><div>The two couples enter their cabin and are impressed about how hospitable it looks, though Al’s wife Lil says, “It’s nice, but spooky.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Al replies, “Come on. You didn’t believe that old lady’s story about a legend, did you?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“No, of course not,” she replies.</div><div><br /></div><div>At night, Al waits until Lil and Lisa go to bed before toasting his friend Tony with liquor for passing the bar exam (even making a joke about “passing the bar” due to the absence of a bartender). Simultaneously next door, the five young women start yawning rather than partying. They all lie on the floor in front of the fireplace and toast to friendship.</div><div><br /></div><div>After some heartfelt conversation among Al and Tony, who get quite drunk, Tony’s thoughts turn toward the young women next door and the fact that they were “taken in” by the “legend.” “I bet they’re having a hard time sleeping.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“A real hard time,” Al agrees with a grin.</div><div><br /></div><div>Then the filmmakers cut to a shocking shot of two of the women lying on the floor, bloody and dead, while a man attacks a third woman and cuts her throat with a knife. This leads to perhaps the film’s most artful shot, an expressionistic vision of terror.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEvg4rEwqcmIQDby4fnveILovEy4btAwcam3R5gmZPwWzfI1GNU8EjEK3FqE10h5kbQBEysh5RkTEFLcEopbLNoq450HE6sMAkONmSkeWEltOEl1TFBvnpn2sAiyHVjlMFcyRyicdrOfc51ALCSbMHLXDZIOh-blea4QyZErmqTloZTzOPj3ZXU5CicA/s2224/EXPRESSIONISM.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1668" data-original-width="2224" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEvg4rEwqcmIQDby4fnveILovEy4btAwcam3R5gmZPwWzfI1GNU8EjEK3FqE10h5kbQBEysh5RkTEFLcEopbLNoq450HE6sMAkONmSkeWEltOEl1TFBvnpn2sAiyHVjlMFcyRyicdrOfc51ALCSbMHLXDZIOh-blea4QyZErmqTloZTzOPj3ZXU5CicA/w400-h300/EXPRESSIONISM.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The filmmakers frame the killer’s face as he stalks another woman.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw1OnuaQsp4M0jJWumQ661DA93osT0Nl_9fHSnd-b-ttQjw-OOQjp_a8jtx2Xjz7Jy3NhgQw_AnJHN40MdgCv33hNGgrr1JjL8JpwZZbaVL5IzcNdGpST1Mc4AOiv0lHjZFW7w3qu1xjyFQWAXRo1zR6BoYX4oAVKW4mJviIrdGDxwxCKk2SzUqhdFHA/s2224/KILLER.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1668" data-original-width="2224" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw1OnuaQsp4M0jJWumQ661DA93osT0Nl_9fHSnd-b-ttQjw-OOQjp_a8jtx2Xjz7Jy3NhgQw_AnJHN40MdgCv33hNGgrr1JjL8JpwZZbaVL5IzcNdGpST1Mc4AOiv0lHjZFW7w3qu1xjyFQWAXRo1zR6BoYX4oAVKW4mJviIrdGDxwxCKk2SzUqhdFHA/w400-h300/KILLER.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Shockingly, the murders are revealed to be the dream of one of the young women. She wakes up in bed, jolting upright as dreamers are wont to do in movies. Then, even more shockingly, she sees a monster’s face at her window. She screams and wakes the other women, who flee downstairs, before the “monster” is revealed to be Tony and Al. After some perhaps inappropriate “struggling” in the snow, Tony’s wife Lisa scolds the men and they return to their cabin.</div><div><br /></div><div>The next morning, we watch as Lil and Lisa wake up their hungover husbands. Al and Lil go skiing while Tony and Lisa, both acting extremely passive-aggressively, separate. Tony goes fishing and Lisa repeatedly rinses mugs in the sink. As Tony walks toward the lake, two of the women in the cabin next door ogle him, for completely unexplained reasons and one of them, Stephanie, follows him down to the lake and immediately kisses Tony.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy2dguES9cvtNlDTck4-qKQRnrOlmiQul9w6twXJk7YxRwZB1KqnJdfhHuhGHedidnQNLBtxyZ7lCTOUaEuD89-M6Q0aBUbXgSgR3QYNk3-gHxJls_-sMlvpGbaj1h3FHAacr6sL4EKDJSxb7iZiUy4k598zVOtR6mngdK6aWeHGQF3PIoaO-sNqyUBg/s2224/STEPHANIE%20KISSING%20TONY.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1668" data-original-width="2224" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy2dguES9cvtNlDTck4-qKQRnrOlmiQul9w6twXJk7YxRwZB1KqnJdfhHuhGHedidnQNLBtxyZ7lCTOUaEuD89-M6Q0aBUbXgSgR3QYNk3-gHxJls_-sMlvpGbaj1h3FHAacr6sL4EKDJSxb7iZiUy4k598zVOtR6mngdK6aWeHGQF3PIoaO-sNqyUBg/w400-h300/STEPHANIE%20KISSING%20TONY.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>After rebuffing her, Tony gives Stephanie a fishing lesson that involves grabbing her repeatedly.</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, we watch Stephanie walk through the snow for roughly ten minutes. Eventually, she sits on a log. </div><div><br /></div><div>Tony returns to Lisa and they hash out their problem. Lisa says softly, “That girl’s awfully attracted to you. She’s very pretty.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“I know,” Tony responds, perhaps ill-advisedly. “And very willing. It’s just one of those infatuation things, like a high school kid has on her teacher.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Yes,” Lisa points out sensibly, “but she’s not in high school and you’re not her teacher.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“What’s that supposed to mean?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“It means I’ve been sitting here feeling threatened by some little snow bunny, trying to picture what my life would be like without you, and oh I felt so alone.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Tony reassures her, though he is clearly 100% at fault. “There could never be anyone else.” They go into the bedroom to make love.</div><div><br /></div><div>Outside, Stephanie is still walking through the snowy forest as dusk falls.</div><div><br /></div><div>Back at the cabin, the other women return from skiing; their discussion displays the filmmakers’ sparkling wit. One woman, ready for some “action,” says, “Those ski instructors are just a warm-up for the main event.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“I don’t know where she gets the energy,” says her friend.</div><div><br /></div><div>Another friend says eloquently, “Yeah, and if we ever find out we probably could harness it and solve the energy crisis.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Even though it is late at night, Stephanie remains outside, apparently still dejected that she was unable to break up Tony’s marriage. Also outside is the killer; we watch his POV as it approaches the women’s cabin. He breaks in and attacks one woman by pressing her head into the dishwater in the kitchen sink—a bloodier death than one might anticipate.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_023R1tDiA62IuLGyYcCKaH6nICllJvwcVBZTY4JzyVSZ-ZUSLzbwF_vZ8femzNaLWq7zYuUzrkGjs0M9KsprOuxxfy55NNBWXGlJX8twh6R8id7ZDWbhnhQqN47DZ9qqS6pirlgc2AIWUXixX0nsmngeCSoCvG3CG-mTg9w_iTkTQPFrCsaLDL1-rQ/s2187/SINK%20MURDER.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1587" data-original-width="2187" height="290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_023R1tDiA62IuLGyYcCKaH6nICllJvwcVBZTY4JzyVSZ-ZUSLzbwF_vZ8femzNaLWq7zYuUzrkGjs0M9KsprOuxxfy55NNBWXGlJX8twh6R8id7ZDWbhnhQqN47DZ9qqS6pirlgc2AIWUXixX0nsmngeCSoCvG3CG-mTg9w_iTkTQPFrCsaLDL1-rQ/w400-h290/SINK%20MURDER.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, upstairs, two of the women paint each others nails while discussing a cute ski instructor, all beneath a clearly visible boom microphone.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijEzVFWUPgGb8xFPb2UfxPmw7tE_CEarFO7lsOd8FoUOiz_euFTcpmau8pGGia38H6jDdd61cwecQZOLZb0ZYYDLyoPj4pjBqu2eTBOZY2X-Es19136_5cQuXpsj0QqEf7KgHBZrUvYJrzTXjPdMwRYuN1Ff_SVoOrNYsxrFgK74baOXKVFnq353bVsQ/s2165/BOOM%20MIC.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1582" data-original-width="2165" height="293" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijEzVFWUPgGb8xFPb2UfxPmw7tE_CEarFO7lsOd8FoUOiz_euFTcpmau8pGGia38H6jDdd61cwecQZOLZb0ZYYDLyoPj4pjBqu2eTBOZY2X-Es19136_5cQuXpsj0QqEf7KgHBZrUvYJrzTXjPdMwRYuN1Ff_SVoOrNYsxrFgK74baOXKVFnq353bVsQ/w400-h293/BOOM%20MIC.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The killer works his way through all the women in the cabin, stabbing one in the back and two in the breasts.</div><div><br /></div><div>Eventually, Stephanie returns to the cabin only to find her friends murdered. She screams, and her scream is audible next door, where the older couples are just starting to eat a pizza. Stephanie runs to their cabin, sending Al and Tony next door to investigate. They see the bodies and return to their cabin, attempting quite sensibly to escape, but their car’s tires are slashed. Al argues for leaving the cabin and running into the woods, but Tony disagrees: “Don’t you remember the legend? He stalks those woods. That’s his territory.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Al and Lil leave the cabin to take their chances in the woods. Their chances, of course, are infinitesimal, and soon Al is knifed in the throat while Lil is the victim of a thrown knife. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5uEWHAv1phF0PmjwrWEC03jw1YjUjPb7SUwx0emXtIs0GdXpJCfwr5l5o6yXeVVDJkfxk1vettnVpzpR906thf2SVQpHR5pIuq51ht5wlBqQJmSPvZOYlWDMpSRXglwPEdx9niBmzfUW_GoiMh59HOm5HiCDhXIeSyzlsUEM5YcZy-QmN2oVYRtyErQ/s2192/AL%20KNIFED.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1640" data-original-width="2192" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5uEWHAv1phF0PmjwrWEC03jw1YjUjPb7SUwx0emXtIs0GdXpJCfwr5l5o6yXeVVDJkfxk1vettnVpzpR906thf2SVQpHR5pIuq51ht5wlBqQJmSPvZOYlWDMpSRXglwPEdx9niBmzfUW_GoiMh59HOm5HiCDhXIeSyzlsUEM5YcZy-QmN2oVYRtyErQ/w400-h299/AL%20KNIFED.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Tragically, Lil is able to crawl through the snow to the edge of the nearby road, where a car passes her obliviously as she dies.</div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, Tony, Lisa, and Stephanie barricade the cabin door with a sofa. Lisa takes a near-catatonic Stephanie upstairs to bed, then returns downstairs, where Tony, who obsesses that all the kitchen curtains are closed, makes a fire in the fireplace. </div><div><br /></div><div>Shockingly, a hand smashes through the window in the living room, grabbing Lisa’s hair. Tony fashions a crude torch from a piece of kindling, a washcloth, and lighter fluid, but he never manages to use the torch. Instead, he struggles with the killer, who breaks in through the front door. In the dark room, one figure stabs another, but we don’t see whether it is the killer or Tony who survives.</div><div><br /></div><div>Lisa runs upstairs to find Stephanie, who has apparently run away. She watches as someone clomps heavily up the stairs—it is the killer, who murders Lisa as well.</div><div><br /></div><div>Finally, Stephanie is revealed to be the final girl, hiding underneath the bed while Lisa is murdered. </div><div><br /></div><div>The filmmakers dissolve to the sunrise over the snowy mountains. Stephanie crawls out from under the bed and opens the curtains, revealing the dawn. She warily heads downstairs, past a bloody sigil inscribed on the wall, and finds Tony’s lifeless body. “Oh no,” she cries. She runs outside and finds a sheriff’s deputy already on the scene, though she is unaware that this deputy has just taken the money stolen by the women at the beginning of the film and hidden in the air duct.</div><div><br /></div><div>In a shocking, nihilistic finale, the deputy stabs Stephanie, leaving nobody alive. “Why?” Stephanie asks him.</div><div><br /></div><div>The deputy convulses. “I…don’t…know! All I ever wanted was the money. I didn’t want to kill anyone. I didn’t want to hurt anyone. There’s something inside me…I can’t…control.”</div><div><br /></div><div>He wields the Satan’s blade and his voice changes. “This is my mountain, and people who come to my mountain must perish. You don’t belong here and you have trespassed upon my world. There must be no one left. You all must die.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Stephanie runs back to the cabin but the deputy catches her and stabs her repeatedly.</div><div><br /></div><div>The film’s narrative ends as the deputy, now barefoot for some unexplained reason, throws the Satan’s blade into the snowy lake. In a chilling coda, however, we see a hand emerge from the bubbling lake to throw the Satan’s blade into a tree.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPyrRTJSxVeZYva2fKcTvvrFudkXvwCbTGwcS0qfoOSgvTk5o8Y0YXMaA6K3WfQ4K5GqXFHh-rBDMynvfnAzmDli7Ei5XhYOKxiWsc1KfqbYVTzYoIKBmAUMOwdc3jMaEjKiTksTmVG3PMYL5DUI_9PaqXQN0PsXnBSxmOhBauKLplM9rdhxtz_7KIDg/s2192/HAND%20IN%20LAKE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1575" data-original-width="2192" height="288" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPyrRTJSxVeZYva2fKcTvvrFudkXvwCbTGwcS0qfoOSgvTk5o8Y0YXMaA6K3WfQ4K5GqXFHh-rBDMynvfnAzmDli7Ei5XhYOKxiWsc1KfqbYVTzYoIKBmAUMOwdc3jMaEjKiTksTmVG3PMYL5DUI_9PaqXQN0PsXnBSxmOhBauKLplM9rdhxtz_7KIDg/w400-h288/HAND%20IN%20LAKE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>A man approaches the tree and the film fades to black, with red letters declaring THE LEGEND CONTINUES!</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /><hr /><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Minimalist slasher films are nearly always classics, and Satan's Blade is no exception. The film has only two locations: the bank at the beginning and the snowbound cabins where most of the action takes place. It is true that the film could be more minimalist, as the opening bank robbery is a complicating factor, but the use of a crime spree to kick off a slasher film is both a fun nod to Psycho (1960) and a solid precursor to the conceit of From Dusk Till Dawn (1996). It is fascinating that the film returns to the crime prologue at the very end, when the possibly mountain man-possessed deputy retrieves the money from the bank heist. The quick shot of the loot retrieval also raises doubts in the viewer's mind about whether the slasher is a supernatural entity or not, a question that is never fully answered by the film. Perhaps this ambiguity -- is the slasher a supernatural mountain man that possesses others, or simply a corrupt sheriff's deputy? -- is the film's strongest quality, and the primary reason the film is unfairly overlooked as a mid-eighties slasher whose status should be upgraded to misunderstood classic.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>Doctor Pseudonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07584099620426375486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-909065385728154804.post-74162434422679567072023-05-22T04:00:00.078-07:002023-05-22T04:00:00.133-07:00"This Murderous Pack of Scumbags" - Fright House (1989)<div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6twCjREWKEcBb0X4TftISo6SqXZztM7YR8GZgaw-GepfoBHRUgyZAZuAvd1GogrIhItTwMFfwe5xW8H6hhO9Xrdiu3NN5nKvRj8Ri0UmPaCyXXRdL0NI-2hxKRJhE13O5Yb04PkpA8MBp4j2vGGt1KL_kmrZo1kaS1FoWIPbybrSECSuYRwYr2kL4bQ/s1342/Fright%20House%20Title.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="1342" height="190" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6twCjREWKEcBb0X4TftISo6SqXZztM7YR8GZgaw-GepfoBHRUgyZAZuAvd1GogrIhItTwMFfwe5xW8H6hhO9Xrdiu3NN5nKvRj8Ri0UmPaCyXXRdL0NI-2hxKRJhE13O5Yb04PkpA8MBp4j2vGGt1KL_kmrZo1kaS1FoWIPbybrSECSuYRwYr2kL4bQ/w640-h190/Fright%20House%20Title.png" width="640" /></a></div><div>We have unfairly neglected the body of work of noted director Len Anthony, but it is time to make up for that oversight by considering part of his masterpiece Fright House (1989), starring the great Al Lewis. We will only be considering the first part of this two-part anthology film, which is called Fright House, which is also the title of the overarching film.</div><div><br /></div><div>As usual, some of your universe's critics unfairly malign Fright House. For example, critic Zantara Xenophobe <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw0608235/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "This whole story is both tired and stupid, and I think they were writing this as they went along." Reviewer blurnieghey <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw8278953/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "This is low budget trash at its worst." And reviewer BA_Harrison <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw4477063/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "I was totally lost not long after it began thanks to the sloppy direction, terrible writing and crap acting."</div><div><br /></div><div>Read on for a more balanced appreciation of Fright House...</div><div><br /></div><div><span><a name='more'></a></span>A youngish couple carrying a picnic basket steps in front of a big house, the eponymous fright house. The woman says, “This house scares me.”</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnoKgXV7mMdpm3z9yVMT7hNKNU8vPfrU2ak5xYcNCQL5Sky0A8YKFZTNZBJKpzVYCFNp9NVAOJ5ZfkAgY4QEvOMjVZzlblFB38MgElxX-UdtqR_wen_R7JGKWGYdikHSRA5YN-C_iURl4usUGTAlIJRY-mGIeKRgPBMbg9Pp1JzD48wCl6jqpTbCi9nw/s2360/COUPLE%20IN%20FRONT%20OF%20HOUSE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1281" data-original-width="2360" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnoKgXV7mMdpm3z9yVMT7hNKNU8vPfrU2ak5xYcNCQL5Sky0A8YKFZTNZBJKpzVYCFNp9NVAOJ5ZfkAgY4QEvOMjVZzlblFB38MgElxX-UdtqR_wen_R7JGKWGYdikHSRA5YN-C_iURl4usUGTAlIJRY-mGIeKRgPBMbg9Pp1JzD48wCl6jqpTbCi9nw/w400-h217/COUPLE%20IN%20FRONT%20OF%20HOUSE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The man replies, “Oh come on. Vincent Mansion’s been empty for years. It’s turning into a college fraternity. But, since it’s contested, we’re all alone.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The man proposes to the woman and she says yes. They immediately lie down on a flowery lace blanket and make love.</div><div><br /></div><div>At that moment, the boiler in the house’s basement catches fire. And also a hippie with long brown hair and a mustache named Brian sneaks into the house. Brian is looking for a doctor, but he finds nobody in the abandoned house.</div><div><br /></div><div>At night, Al Lewis drives at a snail’s pace onto the grounds, gets out of his car, and looks up at the sky.</div><div><br /></div><div>The next morning, Brian’s body is found on the grounds of the fright house. The police tell us his wrists have been slit and he has a head wound. In a matter of seconds, a detective tells a female police officer, “What I want you to do, I think I want you to go undercover at the college, make out like you’re a student. See what you can find out.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Okay,” she agrees.</div><div><br /></div><div>The filmmakers cut to a student named Carl constructing astrological charts. He calls a priest to tell him he is close to predicting an event about which he needs to warn people, but the priest dismisses him. Then we see the priest, who drinks alcohol from a flask, bending over a gravestone. Next, the priest is in a confessional when someone begins breathing heavily on the other side of the screen. “What is it, my child?” asks the priest. “Only by your confidence can we destroy the power of darkness.”</div><div><br /></div><div>In a striking shot, we see red eyes against the screen. The priest has a hear attack. The entity facing him wheezes, “I…am…powerful.”</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9pwKqV8HHBIEjB9lp3sTWuOzmKIeZnV8hFtaOhO2QB9payRD-IEJLeJlk8hUefL6edOMg-MIw1JHGR4zaElsN-PcIYJM_i2XJImmxDKwXYpm4sfbLkHXem5bM7rnZCHHKkmbf15JqYvX_s_xi08Om8q8spT8nV70Y3Y_IO_aC7jO_hYTf7xvYqO9jwQ/s2360/RED%20EYES.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1328" data-original-width="2360" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9pwKqV8HHBIEjB9lp3sTWuOzmKIeZnV8hFtaOhO2QB9payRD-IEJLeJlk8hUefL6edOMg-MIw1JHGR4zaElsN-PcIYJM_i2XJImmxDKwXYpm4sfbLkHXem5bM7rnZCHHKkmbf15JqYvX_s_xi08Om8q8spT8nV70Y3Y_IO_aC7jO_hYTf7xvYqO9jwQ/w400-h225/RED%20EYES.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, Carl arranges over the phone to meet with his brother Les (the man from the couple introduced at the beginning of the film) at the Vincent Mansion. They meet in the daylight and Carl explains his astrological theory about the deaths that have been occurring at the fright house. (It must be noted that both brothers speak their lines so quickly that some audiences might not follow their dialogue.) “Horace Vincent, owner of this place, supposedly died in a boating accident. Pluto is the god of Hades. In this configuration, the gates of Hell could literally burst open. And the gate is here. All this will take place any day now.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Les quips, “Carl, all’s I know from Pluto is he’s Mickey Mouse’s dog.” He adds, revealing his identify as a police officer, “The scientific community might love your theory, but guarantee you Captain Levy in my precinct will have me out on psychiatric disability, if not a strait-jacket, if I went back to him with that story.”</div><div><br /></div><div>In a surprise to those who value predictable story construction, Les leaves and Carl stoops near an outdoor fireplace, only to find a zombie hand grab his shoulder. The film then cuts to Carl’s funeral—though we did not see him die, he was killed, presumably, by the zombie hand.</div><div><br /></div><div>At Carl’s funeral, Al Lewis, who plays Les’s police captain, walks up to Les and his fiancee Delissa. Groping Delissa’s hair uncomfortably, Mr. Lewis says, “I know how you feel, I do. My son Danny died the same way, a couple years ago.” (He does not explain further, so we can only assume Al Lewis’s son was grabbed by a zombie hand as well.)</div><div><br /></div><div>Capt. Lewis looks at a dirty tombstone with the name VOORHEES carved on it. “Will you look at that? How could anybody in this town…I mean, how could anybody in…the devil’s name do something like that?” Les explains that the dirty headstone is for the hippie found dead earlier—apparently, the hippie’s body was dug up.</div><div><br /></div><div>In a Carpenterian manner, the filmmakers next intercut Les walking through the woods and fending off a German shepherd’s attack with Delissa wandering into the chapel and hearing a mysterious ghostly voice. She runs outside and finds Les, who says nothing about the dog attack, and then suddenly Les wakes up in bed. It was all (or at least part) a nightmare!</div><div><br /></div><div>After Les and Delissa fight over which is more important, their upcoming wedding or the suicides of a few dozen college students, Delissa refers Les to a psychiatrist, which makes him angry. The psychiatrist is Dr. Sedgewick at the local college, a woman who was treating Carl. Les picks up a pile of books. “I think she was treating all these kids,” he says, referring to his list of the many local suicides. “Yeah, she was.”</div><div><br /></div><div>An unspecified time later, Capt. Al Lewis calls Darlissa and gives a master class in phone acting (as he is the only participant in the phone call that we see). Because Darlissa is concerned about Les’s obsession with his brother’s death, Capt. Lewis suggests that Darlissa meet with him tonight at the Vincent Mansion. Perhaps unwisely, she agrees. As the scene ends, we see that there are black candles in his room.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0b5mZsJSF6kksrkHm3uRxykjo-gYakzbOzmV9LN-XXM4GHk4JYOqfZLMDwxvHIG8sqtsEOw5QF-w2cFxVBGsG6t7V-yPpW-ekbbccCqJhnRCYl6WoPft-I55_mBhvucygROZwAGaC_7_VwQMnbWUvVNbnfay4VIfK0GBhi0Vy0Wod745AZ8CHKAUnsg/s2224/AL%20LEWIS%20ON%20PHONE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1242" data-original-width="2224" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0b5mZsJSF6kksrkHm3uRxykjo-gYakzbOzmV9LN-XXM4GHk4JYOqfZLMDwxvHIG8sqtsEOw5QF-w2cFxVBGsG6t7V-yPpW-ekbbccCqJhnRCYl6WoPft-I55_mBhvucygROZwAGaC_7_VwQMnbWUvVNbnfay4VIfK0GBhi0Vy0Wod745AZ8CHKAUnsg/w400-h224/AL%20LEWIS%20ON%20PHONE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, Les sees Dr. Sedgewick at her psychiatrist's office (or perhaps, based on the decorations, it is a brothel).</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOE7Ucyyro0h2dlyxWqS8RHqe1cb1AH-L8qxCq1KUv-0IKLNLR1DeE7iaOy_g80H_zyDv1GA70wj-GPrGPurHo_K7CxXP7s3RfhSDzXPeUkwypwuoTZDs6ghmXVY0J9r-hEGQLz58jn58Armr6Mqmdu7fBqv0Xwr-LmN9LPOgPN1giET1I2bKPTgy0_A/s2224/SEDGEWICK%E2%80%99S%20OFFICE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1242" data-original-width="2224" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOE7Ucyyro0h2dlyxWqS8RHqe1cb1AH-L8qxCq1KUv-0IKLNLR1DeE7iaOy_g80H_zyDv1GA70wj-GPrGPurHo_K7CxXP7s3RfhSDzXPeUkwypwuoTZDs6ghmXVY0J9r-hEGQLz58jn58Armr6Mqmdu7fBqv0Xwr-LmN9LPOgPN1giET1I2bKPTgy0_A/w400-h224/SEDGEWICK%E2%80%99S%20OFFICE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>When Les tells the doctor Carl was infatuated with her and even called her by her first name, she replies energetically, “I allow all my students to call me Victoria, Detective. You see, I’m only eight to ten years older than most of them.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Les does not correct the doctor, who called Carl a student rather than a patient. Instead, Les grills her about what he believes is Carl’s murder. “Yes, murder! Carl didn’t slice his own wrists. Why should he?” As Les suggests Dr. Sedgewick is involved in the murder, she stares at him ominously.</div><div><br /></div><div>In what can only be described as a strange interlude, Les watches a nude Dr. Sedgewick (now with blonde hair, for some reason) strip and seduce him; however, this is only Les’s fantasy.</div><div><br /></div><div>Next, the filmmakers cut to the college campus where one of the students, wearing garish suspenders and an oversized tie, delivers his stand-up comedy routine (of course, the comedy routine is a staple of high-quality regional horror films). “I took a dream analysis class,” he begins. “That was my favorite last term. I was sleeping a lot. In fact, toward the end of the term I was sleeping more…at the last week of classes…is everyone still awake? The last week of classes, I was sleeping 18 hours a day. When I was asked why I was doing that, I said I’m cramming for my finals!”</div><div><br /></div><div>He goes on about the low quality of the food in the cafeteria. “I was eating here for three months before I found out ‘burnt’ wasn’t a flavor.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The routine is unfortunately interrupted when a college student brandishing a knife is approached by his fraternity brothers, who want to prevent the student’s suicide. Jerry, the suicidal frat brother, slices his own wrist.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvA0VX8w0kag7LVT2dwSNmxeo1YFgiBzgK3jN423uJOUZAjEXeWYCa6HDXRn-e1EY1AkBuXWKHFlManzqZe7VS6sDejUUzySPsrhiqB_zCULwKEODau-klvYP86Ov-JGNDHhTh3kX7C4dRDI8PzfdPiGUvJcjmmR-cpEWfEy7yZJoFQxdA-r4yKTaXmA/s2224/JERRY%20SUICIDE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1233" data-original-width="2224" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvA0VX8w0kag7LVT2dwSNmxeo1YFgiBzgK3jN423uJOUZAjEXeWYCa6HDXRn-e1EY1AkBuXWKHFlManzqZe7VS6sDejUUzySPsrhiqB_zCULwKEODau-klvYP86Ov-JGNDHhTh3kX7C4dRDI8PzfdPiGUvJcjmmR-cpEWfEy7yZJoFQxdA-r4yKTaXmA/w400-h221/JERRY%20SUICIDE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Surprisingly, the suicide turns out to be a fraternity prank (more shocking than the fake blood is the students’ chorus of Michael Jackson’s song Bad). Les interrupts the practical joke, yelling accurately that suicide is no joke. After the commotion, Les sits with a female detective named Taylor and explains that his girlfriend has disappeared without explanation. (In fact, we see that Darlissa is now at the fright house, hypnotized by Satanists.) They also learn that the fraternity has acquired the Vincent Mansion, so Les assigns Taylor to go to the fright house and see what she can find out.</div><div><br /></div><div>Les confronts Capt. Al Lewis, who believes that the rash of wrist-slashing suicides (including Mr. Lewis’s own son) were really murders. Capt. Lewis deflects him somewhat suspiciously, and with much arm waving. “It’s a possible suicide pact, with that damn fraternity they all belonged to. Let me tell you something. That frat house should have a slogan that says ‘Join now and die later.’”</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdDVgpPHRq1v8HHyH2Gw7_z1UNWF43IGOcI8-6hsVAmUQ4Y2RHpBtKDR1eDoTPXRwxF0V6Oh3oNFCBrK2vAFBrbVg1e-y_WUyHNFg3hfojCZcGGZpB9rezNZRCoW_Q_PP4EynGurSXkQ8S9u7JcmI6-D9sZCgVHGXuj0poYt1oLGFYsEMmJpqd6RNFKw/s2224/CONFRONTING%20AL%20LEWIS.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1229" data-original-width="2224" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdDVgpPHRq1v8HHyH2Gw7_z1UNWF43IGOcI8-6hsVAmUQ4Y2RHpBtKDR1eDoTPXRwxF0V6Oh3oNFCBrK2vAFBrbVg1e-y_WUyHNFg3hfojCZcGGZpB9rezNZRCoW_Q_PP4EynGurSXkQ8S9u7JcmI6-D9sZCgVHGXuj0poYt1oLGFYsEMmJpqd6RNFKw/w400-h221/CONFRONTING%20AL%20LEWIS.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>At night, Detective Taylor breaks into the fright house basement. She hears someone breathing and draws her revolver, then sees a grotesque head in the darkness that opens its eyes and mouth to reveal bloody, pointed fangs. Then a topless, hypnotized Dr. Sedgewick (in her redheaded form) drags her to what appears to be a gymnasium, where she proceeds to slit the detective’s wrist.</div><div><br /></div><div>At the same time, a group of fraternity brothers and their dates, having learned that the fraternity has inherited the fright house (making it a frat house), breaks into the mansion surreptitiously. One of them whispers, “You guys know we’re doing this on the lam, right?” (It is difficult to understand what word he meant to use, but it certainly was not “lam.” Perhaps “sly.” Or “down-low.”)</div><div><br /></div><div>The group gathers in an upstairs living room. They sit by the ornate fireplace as one of the fraternity brothers relates the film’s backstory. “Horace Vincent was this weird old dude who was the leader of this bizarre religious cult? He wasn’t such a bad guy, though. I mean, at one time he was president of Psi Kappa Beta. Anyway, the older he got, the weirder he got. And then he totally lost it when his two sons were killed in what the police called a ‘hunting accident.’ Their bodies were found with huge claw marks all over them.” The friends are unaware they are being watched by a shadowy presence nearby.</div><div><br /></div><div>In a shocking twist, the watcher turns out to be Les. When a couple breaks off from the group, Les uses a sword to slash the fraternity brother’s throat, saying, “This is for murdering my partner, you piece of garbage! How does that feel?” (It goes without saying that we don’t know how Les found out who killed Taylor, or even that she was killed.)</div><div><br /></div><div>Seconds later, some of the fraternity brothers and their dates are chased by what appear to be zombies in the forest outside.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the basement, the Satanists (more topless women) continue their ceremony over Taylor’s dead body. Eventually, the college students stumble upon the ceremony and are chased by the Satanists carrying swords. The students disperse through the fright house, and each is attacked by Satanists and/or zombies. However, some are rescued by Les, who has dressed up like a Satanist, even applying white face makeup and glitter, ostensibly to blend in with the evildoers.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHivKWOitGQ9WhcMJbfFuUbwsT1m-xTnoSOgzOyti1VdK07ucu-sIvqusiPBCx89CVlPQTmmyrb5ulsQfXmt66Lj61s8egvd4RoGtIZu2l-wVJZFg14Z1w3QwozwbNqQitstkR7Q7ph7ZG1ZPxbj9s-iUvGqJIZNhuVkzrkoBm7lc4OuY1y95SNk5oIA/s2224/LES%20IN%20MAKEUP.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1235" data-original-width="2224" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHivKWOitGQ9WhcMJbfFuUbwsT1m-xTnoSOgzOyti1VdK07ucu-sIvqusiPBCx89CVlPQTmmyrb5ulsQfXmt66Lj61s8egvd4RoGtIZu2l-wVJZFg14Z1w3QwozwbNqQitstkR7Q7ph7ZG1ZPxbj9s-iUvGqJIZNhuVkzrkoBm7lc4OuY1y95SNk5oIA/w400-h223/LES%20IN%20MAKEUP.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The surviving students encounter a man who tells them he is Horace Vincent. He also tells him he has discovered a way to cheat death, giving a stirring monologue that explains the plot and that is, for some unexplained reason, played over shots of one of the students hiding in the basement. Also, it is nearly impossible to make out what the man is saying.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the end, Les confronts Dr. Sedgewick on a staircase. She says, “I’d like to thank you for coming and viewing our ceremony this evening, Detective.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“You’re gonna suffer for all the innocent lives you’ve taken!”</div><div><br /></div><div>“That’s quite possible,” she replies. “It’s you, I’m afraid, that’s going to suffer. See, you’ll want me just as much as your brother and the others did.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“No! I’m much stronger than all the rest. You’re certainly no match for me, you bitch!”</div><div><br /></div><div>“We’ll see.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“You are the lowest form of life.”</div><div><br /></div><div>She quips back perhaps self-defeatingly, “See, I’m not. You may want to employ use of your sword. It’s the only weapon that in the right hands can destroy me.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Instead of killing her, however, Les runs outside and stumbles upon more Satanists attempting to sacrifice Darlissa. Al Lewis reveals himself to be one of them. </div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNDdpbbUStLNx_sZbRmkZQ8_AJ02cmt-L8l0PcO2QXI7T666XXoSK5TgP4k8wNcTaE_BTmRkY0SrJRO8lByEYDiKeHoz7L_Npt5gGKo8g-a8cf46sLhDhkCy42O9cZqqW_kW9H_WywjP6cK4IXwhlzNIARmGfxHZS3G-xfq-AqBBHQOAwGUpdPGzz6BQ/s2224/AL%20LEWIS%20SATANIST.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1316" data-original-width="2224" height="236" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNDdpbbUStLNx_sZbRmkZQ8_AJ02cmt-L8l0PcO2QXI7T666XXoSK5TgP4k8wNcTaE_BTmRkY0SrJRO8lByEYDiKeHoz7L_Npt5gGKo8g-a8cf46sLhDhkCy42O9cZqqW_kW9H_WywjP6cK4IXwhlzNIARmGfxHZS3G-xfq-AqBBHQOAwGUpdPGzz6BQ/w400-h236/AL%20LEWIS%20SATANIST.png" width="400" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>“Captain Levi? You? You’re the head of all this? This murderous pack of scumbags?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Thank you, Les. Murderous evil is our business. I accept your endorsement.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Les tries to get Darlissa away from the group. He yells, “If you harm one hair on her body, I’ll kill you!”</div><div><br /></div><div>When Les calls him a monster, Al Lewis, in a cheeky reference to his most famous role, says, “No, no, Les. That’s a vampire. I am a demon! And this is the day that the gates of Hell open and we shall go home!”</div><div><br /></div><div>In a somewhat confusing finale, Al Lewis reveals his true, doglike face while a demonic arm emerges from the ground.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihq4haNWoqKobAehzwQkXEHl3d3wSa3bS4oW_JyKwj-k-wWjhrviwqfkLz1umEdPZ4R7llQq-fhsFrV4tZgImGmLzzr4p2mzCnS8rUJDTbiY728vGlgwiSr1eBJHvR3R3jk7WK8vqpzWsHv0jUJzKZTMw-zdPoap_keTRIISfJ8tkPVT_hY8hmMtbp-g/s2224/AL%20LEWIS%E2%80%99S%20TRUE%20FACE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1235" data-original-width="2224" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihq4haNWoqKobAehzwQkXEHl3d3wSa3bS4oW_JyKwj-k-wWjhrviwqfkLz1umEdPZ4R7llQq-fhsFrV4tZgImGmLzzr4p2mzCnS8rUJDTbiY728vGlgwiSr1eBJHvR3R3jk7WK8vqpzWsHv0jUJzKZTMw-zdPoap_keTRIISfJ8tkPVT_hY8hmMtbp-g/w400-h223/AL%20LEWIS%E2%80%99S%20TRUE%20FACE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Then Les throws a crystal at the Satanists and everything explodes.</div><div><br /></div><div>Les wakes up in the forest with Darlissa. “I guess that crystal really did the job, huh?”</div><div><br /></div><div>Darlissa replies, “I guess.”</div><div><br /></div><div>After Les kisses his fiancée, however, she turns straight to the camera and smiles.</div><div><br /></div><hr /><div><br /></div><div>Fright House is a horror film that expertly achieves its effects by keeping the viewer off balance and avoiding traditional, boring narrative tropes like having a main character and following a story from start to finish. In this way, it is similar to the inventive Spookies (1986), though that film, sadly, failed to feature a movie star as iconic as Al Lewis. Also, Spookies does not have a clever pun as a title ("frat house" becomes "fright house"), so it must be said that Fright House is the superior film.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div>Doctor Pseudonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07584099620426375486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-909065385728154804.post-32065669598134470022023-05-08T04:00:00.098-07:002023-05-08T04:00:00.135-07:00"He's More Than Dead. He's Ancient." - Last Chance (1995) aka Ghost Gunfighter aka High Tomb<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdF6lv2PdMrF2eNiT_cYacsiKmSvPViSEyrrlVLd-LTNDix1uCEsYe4vEem43_q_b37gkwXkwdzg1McWayWkQmnRjYZYE8zzGXlt3ovkNyJHRioga5m6d8G3hCfbVscerKZ2MLrBpZaXj4XlwUA_KEZiRmtXrEZzPyq6fmc7OVr8089Xo1br7MCZUyEQ/s1126/Last%20Chance%20title.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="1126" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdF6lv2PdMrF2eNiT_cYacsiKmSvPViSEyrrlVLd-LTNDix1uCEsYe4vEem43_q_b37gkwXkwdzg1McWayWkQmnRjYZYE8zzGXlt3ovkNyJHRioga5m6d8G3hCfbVscerKZ2MLrBpZaXj4XlwUA_KEZiRmtXrEZzPyq6fmc7OVr8089Xo1br7MCZUyEQ/w640-h228/Last%20Chance%20title.png" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;">Last Chance (1995) is a relatively obscure Western-themed supernatural slasher film perhaps best known for starring Jeff Burr, famed director specializing in sequels such as Stepfather II (1989), Pumpkinhead II (1993), and Leatherface (1990).</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Unlike most films reviewed at Senseless Cinema, Last Chance is generally unknown to your universe's critics. Therefore, I will not gift you with clueless reviews of this modern classic. Instead, please read on for my appreciation of the frightening Western slasher film Last Chance...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div><span><a name='more'></a></span>The film opens in the most nightmarish way possible: A man’s hand bursts from the dirt, and the man drags himself out of a shallow grave.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixguMUqOGWmZvCuHHLdyMcIk14bMFIaAUdQlZEIoNYyvSHp0xwTijEa1M-0xW9aZhnqfIbCNHNL4VdXY3BIfgmFmYZYn_hYbdob-JUia31BKT6l0ZO57cb5m6sn2qyq0D-cdPP4t__bJAvCbSEUXN44U2m8s2lwroiCjm75jDXtuzcNFlorJhr4F2I1g/s2208/GRAVE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1640" data-original-width="2208" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixguMUqOGWmZvCuHHLdyMcIk14bMFIaAUdQlZEIoNYyvSHp0xwTijEa1M-0xW9aZhnqfIbCNHNL4VdXY3BIfgmFmYZYn_hYbdob-JUia31BKT6l0ZO57cb5m6sn2qyq0D-cdPP4t__bJAvCbSEUXN44U2m8s2lwroiCjm75jDXtuzcNFlorJhr4F2I1g/w400-h297/GRAVE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Later, two men dig holes in the desert. “Fossils, my ass,” says one of the men. “All we’ve found is this damn coyote bone.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Look, what do you want?” his friend asks. “That weird guy from the gas station said we’d find some neat stuff here.”</div><div><br /></div><div>They see a mysterious figure on a hillside—the same man who emerged from his own grave—who fades away, then reappears behind them. He knocks both young men unconscious, drags them to a shack, and then tortures and kills them.</div><div><br /></div><div>The film proper begins as a bespectacled young man (played by Jeff Burr, who had already directed Stepfather II, Pumpkinhead II, and Leatherface) drives up to a house, stumbles on a step as he watches an attractive woman walk away, and then enters the house, which holds about two dozen twenty-something men and women playing cards and practicing guitar. Mr. Burr informs his friends that they will be going to Mexico by unfolding a poster that says México.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5YnjCILj-w3C0zM7ABYTcriDJkfWuz-KkxQI5cxAWvrenPRG8G-_J3aBTjwWT7kJt7n63sgY3izLQHzgXC-2hXI-6FN_5WbVQmzRQAVx_YulOTZR8wPfZKyEDIozCcrrHHjrM2F3PnmRyPpJrpRPCdG7MGmw0b9JFCDa3g8IOIXAW1q_FpCSJgHBAaw/s2214/MEXICO%20POSTER.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1640" data-original-width="2214" height="296" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5YnjCILj-w3C0zM7ABYTcriDJkfWuz-KkxQI5cxAWvrenPRG8G-_J3aBTjwWT7kJt7n63sgY3izLQHzgXC-2hXI-6FN_5WbVQmzRQAVx_YulOTZR8wPfZKyEDIozCcrrHHjrM2F3PnmRyPpJrpRPCdG7MGmw0b9JFCDa3g8IOIXAW1q_FpCSJgHBAaw/w400-h296/MEXICO%20POSTER.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>After some introductory shenanigans that involve a sunbathing man falling asleep and a house’s exterior covered with toilet paper, six of the young people climb into a car named “The Pink Mama” to head for Mexico.</div><div><br /></div><div>As they drive, Mr. Burr notices the car is running out of gas, so of course he taps the E indicator before pulling into a gas station. The local attendant tells them about a shortcut that will save them a lot of time if they take the first dirt road off the highway. They agree to take the shortcut and drive off. Ominously, after they are gone, the attendant (whom one of the young people called “old man” seconds earlier) bends down and sees a puddle of oil on the ground.</div><div><br /></div><div>Interestingly, the group interrupts their drive to stop on a bridge, set up a tripod and camera, and take photos to commemorate their vacation.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjO5I8ONTlodRUoEwwuWw7pzThVAPFSoBckqG_1a1bXaKNx0fkTWe1tbtP8qTNYyyxrX2J3l51xUBKnpbwRezd-ysEL7lE6sO-AqFc6V7_pNr6wHlYsMH_ZGwU2jIeTkQPxCHFIXFERUSce5FLt2hWAcjj46ObVa4HwKwOlIt_LBtstWk6XQQoQQ8uvw/s2216/PHOTO.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1640" data-original-width="2216" height="296" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjO5I8ONTlodRUoEwwuWw7pzThVAPFSoBckqG_1a1bXaKNx0fkTWe1tbtP8qTNYyyxrX2J3l51xUBKnpbwRezd-ysEL7lE6sO-AqFc6V7_pNr6wHlYsMH_ZGwU2jIeTkQPxCHFIXFERUSce5FLt2hWAcjj46ObVa4HwKwOlIt_LBtstWk6XQQoQQ8uvw/w400-h296/PHOTO.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>After taking a left at an unexpected fork in the road (note: not a literal fork), the atmosphere grows more mysterious. The car breaks down, having lost oil, and everyone is trapped in the desert. </div><div><br /></div><div>Shane, perhaps unwisely, walks by himself to the top of a small hill. He yells down to his friends that he has spotted a town. The group ventures to the “town,” which they describe as a ghost town but appears to be more ghost than town.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjaw9gQRsIXSKROslsHEaGlkByL3670vPx-Okmjks9lLk7I_YeKR1Gh_5peN_f5KlBDHIbwJ6xdUdWFGrWASN_0YvhWxtlF7BSBFUAwGFOe_SHhqMuUZN03qxURSpCC6wCUYqIh73k1AsxWeRy_T35K4oZhvtNzg1tN6ukuI9cndDCxhriI6_YBpjaDg/s2224/GHOST%20TOWN.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1620" data-original-width="2224" height="291" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjaw9gQRsIXSKROslsHEaGlkByL3670vPx-Okmjks9lLk7I_YeKR1Gh_5peN_f5KlBDHIbwJ6xdUdWFGrWASN_0YvhWxtlF7BSBFUAwGFOe_SHhqMuUZN03qxURSpCC6wCUYqIh73k1AsxWeRy_T35K4oZhvtNzg1tN6ukuI9cndDCxhriI6_YBpjaDg/w400-h291/GHOST%20TOWN.png" width="400" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhck4plbtbBd3jMzOt7DOdIUoacNFMdZ1vZtnARbG-ZARuFunYP08vtIxQVURnU4rCx9BD__qIyNQN-cx-KOKdRVCo6r5FuShTrswRz0QHvSLDsGAtUtbmIKxwqxvKws26y16ja5uvaI0jY7zYq-yGSI3XMN-z3gBHJbEb8EPDWTGwlnRKoNKQJsuztOQ/s2163/GHOST%20TOWN%20-%20MIGHT%20BE%20BETTER.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1602" data-original-width="2163" height="296" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhck4plbtbBd3jMzOt7DOdIUoacNFMdZ1vZtnARbG-ZARuFunYP08vtIxQVURnU4rCx9BD__qIyNQN-cx-KOKdRVCo6r5FuShTrswRz0QHvSLDsGAtUtbmIKxwqxvKws26y16ja5uvaI0jY7zYq-yGSI3XMN-z3gBHJbEb8EPDWTGwlnRKoNKQJsuztOQ/w400-h296/GHOST%20TOWN%20-%20MIGHT%20BE%20BETTER.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The friends split up, with Shane and Heather investigating the hotel. They are shocked to find the town’s caretaker in the lobby. When they ask if he has a phone (there is an old-fashioned crank telephone on the wall, but nobody mentions it) or a car, he replies ominously, “I’m the caretaker. My job is to stay right here. Forever.”</div><div><br /></div><div>He suggests they spend the night in town and convinces them to sign the guest book. He also tells them that they have to be out of town by twelve noon tomorrow.</div><div><br /></div><div>Oddly, there is only one room available in the hotel, so the caretaker leads the three women to the room.</div><div><br /></div><div>“It’s so beautiful.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“It’s so charming.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“It’s so small.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Ominously, they see a picture hanging on the wall that looks just like Heather. Then the filmmakers cut to suppertime and the caretaker ringing the traditional triangle. He spoons out bowls of what appears to be chili, which the caretaker eventually identifies as made with coyote meet, forcing the young people to comically spit out their food.</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, all six young people sit outside by a roaring campfire, eating potato chips and drinking beer. Instead of having the chance to tell ghost stories, however, the group is interrupted by the caretaker, who tells them to get to sleep before laughs maniacally and wanders into the darkness.</div><div><br /></div><div>We follow the caretaker as he sits in the hotel office looking at old pictures that also include the woman who looks like Heather. Surprisingly, the caretaker is murdered with one strike of a walking stick by the ghostly cowboy.</div><div><br /></div><div>Upstairs, the women change into their somewhat frumpy nightgowns and go to sleep in the abandoned hotel, except for Heather, who brushes her hair with an ancient hairbrush before noticing someone outside the window. Heather then dreams she sees a dead body, but wakes up immediately.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the morning, after a comedic interlude in which Mr. Burr and Shane wake up to find themselves embracing one another, resulting in a piercing scream, the group looks for breakfast but finds no food in the kitchen. Then Marcy wanders away from everyone and finds a decayed corpse.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiyLXBBKgd39pOTkN7ggPIfkrjKS-AwFyOmR_L1TEb5j8R_2Zzfb7PbhAsxswAq8u-62Ig3yx33siwTiE4UM-Ie3hHRG4AgrfMlAZpzcsv_IxbivmJQjL1caZDTV790MzMezWKoe1yR_vMpAbcO7-IbFmHwxspoqv077NBBhmnHMvgVaqEYrPAscxYqQ/s2224/CORPSE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1563" data-original-width="2224" height="281" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiyLXBBKgd39pOTkN7ggPIfkrjKS-AwFyOmR_L1TEb5j8R_2Zzfb7PbhAsxswAq8u-62Ig3yx33siwTiE4UM-Ie3hHRG4AgrfMlAZpzcsv_IxbivmJQjL1caZDTV790MzMezWKoe1yR_vMpAbcO7-IbFmHwxspoqv077NBBhmnHMvgVaqEYrPAscxYqQ/w400-h281/CORPSE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Her screams bring everyone running. They identify the corpse as the caretaker by its clothes. “He’s more than dead,” Mr. Burr says. “He’s ancient.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Debbie says, “That can’t be the caretaker.”</div><div><br /></div><div>But of course it is the caretaker, who has been dead for decades.</div><div><br /></div><div>The group gathers up their suitcases and walks back to The Pink Mama, but the car is full of dirt, vandalized and disabled. Also, on the passdenger door is written DEATH TO ALL in what appears to be blood.</div><div><br /></div><div>The six young people start walking, but thirty seconds later they come upon the car again. Then the film’s most shocking scene occurs: the ghostly cowboy rides up to them and slashes Debbie’s throat with a machete.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB5XVeXC3oUYBb-GQzSxuvBqNaJf-_Mh4mzBw0_aZ1wtykv-qXrpFqSvAksEOkibj-jKY0ltEZFlcBL_VGESD45Nigp7Kpzj7snJDHm9BzlSAhhNLKB-Tn3yxod-K2Cp8wzRqrzwVUmvuWDnlJcvlyS_Cot2G3HGyccnNjjtsp2MCXTqNf18R2mafEEQ/s2224/COWBOY%20KILLER.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1589" data-original-width="2224" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB5XVeXC3oUYBb-GQzSxuvBqNaJf-_Mh4mzBw0_aZ1wtykv-qXrpFqSvAksEOkibj-jKY0ltEZFlcBL_VGESD45Nigp7Kpzj7snJDHm9BzlSAhhNLKB-Tn3yxod-K2Cp8wzRqrzwVUmvuWDnlJcvlyS_Cot2G3HGyccnNjjtsp2MCXTqNf18R2mafEEQ/w400-h286/COWBOY%20KILLER.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Instead of confronting the cowboy, who seems to disappear, the group carries Debbie back to the ghost town. They lay her still-breathing body on the bed in the hotel bedroom. When they leave her alone in the room, unfortunately, the cowboy returns to finish the job, stabbing her with a knife.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZC-kZHSXBzK-OHI9c-gFkNBK-FlhKUip4yy7uGK5iEoMFlG4oPxbP1P6vwIEWqA5R_Unb5lMaheA6cdF-g_otxy8beAe5ZpZiTNbi41gfzTp-4dY7yZnfITt7PkyJDUEgFiM6hu2_brp-ZJXFDYi9dxgUSD9myVAm5oK0-toiTjpIK9ezmENFCs80qw/s2224/MURDERING%20DEBBIE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1623" data-original-width="2224" height="293" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZC-kZHSXBzK-OHI9c-gFkNBK-FlhKUip4yy7uGK5iEoMFlG4oPxbP1P6vwIEWqA5R_Unb5lMaheA6cdF-g_otxy8beAe5ZpZiTNbi41gfzTp-4dY7yZnfITt7PkyJDUEgFiM6hu2_brp-ZJXFDYi9dxgUSD9myVAm5oK0-toiTjpIK9ezmENFCs80qw/w400-h293/MURDERING%20DEBBIE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>As one of the men ventures back toward the highway, estimating it will only take him one hour to reach civilization by foot, the other men search the town but find nothing until Heather discovers the most shocking development (other than people being murdered by a ghost cowboy): “Nothing in this town is real. This is an old movie set.”</div><div><br /></div><div>They are surprised to see the ghost cowboy outside receiving a gun loaded with blanks from a man who appears to be from the Old West. Mr. Burr, Shane, and Heather follow the cowboy to the ruined saloon, where they watch him replace the blanks with live shells. As the modern-day friends watch, a whole film crew fades into being in the center of town—they are watching a shadow play of what happened decades earlier when the ghost town was a movie set. They watch as the ghost cowboy—then known as Mr. Dillon—stalks the lead actress of the Western—the woman who looks just like Heather. The actress was having an affair with a white-clad cowboy, much to the consternation of the black-clad Mr. Dillon. In the middle of filming a shootout between the two men, Mr. Dillon shoots his rival with a real bullet, and then starts shooting the others on the set who witnessed the murder. Most shockingly, he cuts the lead actress’s throat with a knife before the movie set fades away.</div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, Marci discovers Debbie has been killed. She slips in the blood on the floor and knocks herself out, only to reawaken with the ghost cowboy throwing black rose petals on top of her. “Dead flowers for the dead,” he intones with his gravelly voice.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8KsA6OQ1g4knZ5yLhbD987FRp7ZuGN9IaGYBuJv-XHh2Fzb85lVADNLQEZHU-NFmuJNeUYWmze5IT0LmzpjFbNpFWYCCGSfDmdLhySKVFmhCKvqGSe7GoMixdcnVIkpprHWYCwD0PGImcxD1tyCaJ5L2h9yMl3EJaLc3gxPJwNIOjEFaOuqhi8icoOw/s2224/COWBOY%20WITH%20ROSE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1606" data-original-width="2224" height="289" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8KsA6OQ1g4knZ5yLhbD987FRp7ZuGN9IaGYBuJv-XHh2Fzb85lVADNLQEZHU-NFmuJNeUYWmze5IT0LmzpjFbNpFWYCCGSfDmdLhySKVFmhCKvqGSe7GoMixdcnVIkpprHWYCwD0PGImcxD1tyCaJ5L2h9yMl3EJaLc3gxPJwNIOjEFaOuqhi8icoOw/w400-h289/COWBOY%20WITH%20ROSE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The ghost kills Marcy with his knife seconds before Mr. Burr discovers the two women’s bodies. He, Shane, and Heather bury the two women at Boot Hill. “Shouldn’t we say something?” asks Mr. Burr.</div><div><br /></div><div>Heather responds, “Debbie and Marcy, wherever you are, rest in peace.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The cowboy rides his black horse into town, and the actress appears as well, but she says nothing and fades away. She does, however, lead the protagonists to a metal box that contains a gold-leafed diary. Marcy reads the entries from the actor in which she confesses her participation in the love triangle between the evil soon-to-be-murderer Dillon and her virtuous co-star, the love of her life.</div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, the survivor who went for help earlier finds himself dragged behind the ghost’s horse through the brush.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBCkGYu_DMfsR1OPr6YugDUU-BN16AyDrHG9YgRKzElily9yLzYYAqDrWTncT6dg5H_4CZtU15NQrQrcJqEnIqvfC8xVelOp0fS__nSORI-SUtwEGb79Omm514NUcuRL0XK3SKFnhP3pDJSJ9eyBEuxtH7U54phNsgh9b70RSMI-TLumF8UIcJ2Glh-A/s2222/HORSE%20DRAGGING.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1640" data-original-width="2222" height="295" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBCkGYu_DMfsR1OPr6YugDUU-BN16AyDrHG9YgRKzElily9yLzYYAqDrWTncT6dg5H_4CZtU15NQrQrcJqEnIqvfC8xVelOp0fS__nSORI-SUtwEGb79Omm514NUcuRL0XK3SKFnhP3pDJSJ9eyBEuxtH7U54phNsgh9b70RSMI-TLumF8UIcJ2Glh-A/w400-h295/HORSE%20DRAGGING.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The next morning, Mr. Burr is attacked by the ghost cowboy, but he manages, cleverly, to kick the ghost in the crotch and push him over a balcony. Unfortunately for Mr. Burr, however, the cowboy is able to throw a (ghostly?) knife at Mr. Burr, and Mr. Burr falls off the same balcony to the ground, tragically dying seconds later.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx4BdHfryWv7PbiOR8GZwMErIgqs0LGJJYOaE3Da8rm-COOOHkmc7I9xTCl0leFxLTfE_NHPYRmKHeJ6JCzqWKyw2eUt6k5A44WqqwG9B6YvR1M3Rnedbnd5lRM4rouoZ4hPt4AxMOy8buwzTi69T0P-o4B57e-6X7vlVoXYSFLEcDPK8OhI8gdUriAA/s2218/COWBOY%20ATTACK.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1640" data-original-width="2218" height="296" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx4BdHfryWv7PbiOR8GZwMErIgqs0LGJJYOaE3Da8rm-COOOHkmc7I9xTCl0leFxLTfE_NHPYRmKHeJ6JCzqWKyw2eUt6k5A44WqqwG9B6YvR1M3Rnedbnd5lRM4rouoZ4hPt4AxMOy8buwzTi69T0P-o4B57e-6X7vlVoXYSFLEcDPK8OhI8gdUriAA/w400-h296/COWBOY%20ATTACK.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Marcy and Shane are the only survivors. Marcy realizes that the ghost reenacts the murder every day at noon. They reason that they can interrupt the reenactment, so both of them dress in random cowboy gear lying around the hotel and Shane finds blanks that he can switch for the ghost’s real (ghostly) bullets. They put their plan into motion, watching the ghosts relive the fateful day on the (ghostly) movie set.</div><div><br /></div><div>Marcy distracts the evil Dillon, prompting him to shoot at her with the switched blanks because he believes her to be dead. Then, in the action-packed climax, Shane jumps off a roof in slow-motion, brandishing a knife. The ghostly reenactment vanishes and Dillon is replaced with the disfigured ghost he has become. After a brutal fight, Dillon nearly kills Shane, growling, “Time to do!”</div><div><br /></div><div>Shane retrieves his knife and stabs Dillon, yelling, “You!” (Perhaps he meant to say “you first”?)</div><div><br /></div><div>Then Dillon explodes.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEtEFywLuiUyDd3-wbGIatmzayCAj8MVt0v5lo7wI1DlNlIHINjhdJzYlp3Tv-axXwMfffVFH02ghjNb8Ub2y-lfs5evVuGoHaMpXh-hcJr13UpnSlZVb7uNqCCdM728mK8-v9ZDoxUE2wTpWIX49f3oKEnao-UJ8IZ9rVc_z8r5ID65RZ4QMBm4_sWg/s2191/DILLON%20EXPLODING.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="2191" height="293" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEtEFywLuiUyDd3-wbGIatmzayCAj8MVt0v5lo7wI1DlNlIHINjhdJzYlp3Tv-axXwMfffVFH02ghjNb8Ub2y-lfs5evVuGoHaMpXh-hcJr13UpnSlZVb7uNqCCdM728mK8-v9ZDoxUE2wTpWIX49f3oKEnao-UJ8IZ9rVc_z8r5ID65RZ4QMBm4_sWg/w400-h293/DILLON%20EXPLODING.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Suddenly, the townsfolk/movie people appear. The actress thanks Marcy by giving her a gold pocket watch. Then everyone except Marcy and Shane vanishes. They kiss.</div><div><br /></div><div>In a surprise ending, after Marcy places the pocket watch on the actress’s diary, Marcy and Shane emerge from the hotel to find that their formerly dead friends have driven the now-working car into town to pick them up. Also, Marcy has the pocket watch, despite having given it back to the actress. The six friends drive away, excited and happy about their trip to Mexico.</div><div><br /></div><div>The End</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><hr /><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Something of an update to Byron Quisenberry's Scream (1981) with a pink Cadillac replacing river rafts, director Scott Gulbrandsen's Last Chance boasts an effective location and a charming group of likable friends being stalked and killed (not permanently) by a terrifying cowboy slasher. Perhaps the film's best twist is the fact that the seemingly 1880s ghost town is really a movie set from the 1930s, and the ghost story is not a Western revenge plot but a Hollywood love triangle.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Like all the best films, Last Chance refuses to answer at least as many questions as it answers. For example, why does the ghost cowboy pull himself out of a shallow grave at the beginning of the film? Was Dillon, the jealous cowboy actor, really buried in the Boot Hill section of a movie set? Also, why did the gas station attendant direct the young holidaygoers to a dirt road and not tell them which way to go at the fork? Was he somehow aware of the ghost story and attempting to supply victims for the bloodthirsty ghost cowboy? If so, was he surprised when the protagonists returned unharmed? And why was the film called Last Chance, a title that does not hint at any of the narrative and is noticeably worse than the alternate title Ghost Gunfighter, though perhaps less awkward than the other alternative title High Tomb (perhaps a play on High Noon, though difficult to explain because there are no tombs in the film). Of course, these questions will never be answered, which allows us to bask in the shot-on-video glory of Last Chance over and over, until the end of time.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>Doctor Pseudonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07584099620426375486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-909065385728154804.post-17276237301140090682023-04-24T04:00:00.001-07:002023-04-24T04:00:00.154-07:00"One Fat Zero" - Project Nightmare (1987)<div style="text-align: left;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2L-xJMSl8yFwGri-nq3K-OCWULtElYTbEL4-s3vOKHKlK0opM-wjRj-9kP3Pca1m1sWGflVu152YsUAOvC9H3mb8Hw386A-savTVh9L_9rE-ft6hZQSy86EyZG5DI2v0ZzPot4Sgo342Qf_en4IHKeAmS2hVkjbo9Z3rEvWJVD82Wo7XJs7PlGtghaQ/s1114/Project%20Nightmare%20Title.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="1114" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2L-xJMSl8yFwGri-nq3K-OCWULtElYTbEL4-s3vOKHKlK0opM-wjRj-9kP3Pca1m1sWGflVu152YsUAOvC9H3mb8Hw386A-savTVh9L_9rE-ft6hZQSy86EyZG5DI2v0ZzPot4Sgo342Qf_en4IHKeAmS2hVkjbo9Z3rEvWJVD82Wo7XJs7PlGtghaQ/w640-h230/Project%20Nightmare%20Title.png" width="640" /></a></div>It is time to examine the unfortunately obscure science fiction classic Project Nightmare (1987), a blend of </div><div style="text-align: left;">psychedelic mind-tripping and, of course, 1960s Star Trek. (The film has nothing to do with Robert A. Heinlein's 1953 story "Project Nightmare.")</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Predictably for a film about the nature of reality itself, some of your universe's critics have been unkind to this film. For example, reviewer carlos-pires <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw7789211/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "It warrants watching just because it is the silliest, weirdest, worst movie ever." Reviewer Brennan Dortch Cornelius Thunderbolt <a href="https://letterboxd.com/meritsofsin/film/project-nightmare/" target="_blank">writes</a>, "it’s all unequivocally weird and unashamedly dull." And reviewer Paul Senior <a href="https://letterboxd.com/paulsenior/film/project-nightmare/" target="_blank">calls</a> the film "painful to watch. Generally nonsensical, ugly and boring."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Read on for a more nuanced appreciation of Project Nightmare...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><span><a name='more'></a></span><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div>In the artistic opening, shots of beeping and buzzing electronic equipment are intercut with a gravestone sporting the large initial “W.” After the computer-text titles, the film cuts to two men in a forest having a cryptic conversation about something chasing them without any logical explanation. They walk out of the forest and emerge on the side of a mountain, which one of the men finds peculiar, because there should be cities visible from their vantage point. “As a matter of fact, I don’t see any cities anywhere,” Jon says.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2ndS-ABIFaTVAtur6kkTFgUCQSPgwngEFWYLQWu-_dVFNhsZMES-GBYoNiwQ1z6l8atnDJNKDIQ5ImbTuqN4w4Bb02FZHwUg24KlZJ1H1UZTOQjQmCDBW6Etvjys23BYIY639wZFcM7W3xx8_cwdiK4tgyvyHuMU0i6qzKzQ3wCNoqRfRA--kWdT2zw/s2224/MOUNTAIN%20VIEW.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1589" data-original-width="2224" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2ndS-ABIFaTVAtur6kkTFgUCQSPgwngEFWYLQWu-_dVFNhsZMES-GBYoNiwQ1z6l8atnDJNKDIQ5ImbTuqN4w4Bb02FZHwUg24KlZJ1H1UZTOQjQmCDBW6Etvjys23BYIY639wZFcM7W3xx8_cwdiK4tgyvyHuMU0i6qzKzQ3wCNoqRfRA--kWdT2zw/w400-h286/MOUNTAIN%20VIEW.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>“What do you make of it?” his friend, Gus, says.</div><div><br /></div><div>“I don’t know, but I think we should find that shelter for the night.”</div><div><br /></div><div>They walk farther through a seemingly abandoned landscape, finally finding a charming cabin where a woman holding a teapot named Marci greets them. She lets them enter the cabin but tells them she doesn’t have a phone. She offers them drinks, so they ask for a scotch and a beer.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Don’t move,” she tells them as she heads toward the kitchen, “revival is on the way.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“You sound like a missionary,” Jon says.</div><div><br /></div><div>“I said revival, not salvation.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Nursing their drinks, the men explain their situation to Marci. They were camping, and when they woke up their tent was ripped apart and their supplies were scattered.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Probably the wind,” Marci offers sensibly. She adds, perhaps not as sensibly, “I’ve seen the wind around here rip the trees right out of the ground.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“No!” says Gus. “It was more than that. There was this…”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Anyway, we just started running like hell, as fast as we could go, and this…whatever it was was right behind us.”</div><div><br /></div><div>(One can only wonder if the film would have been more effective if we had seen the tent, or the implied monster. The answer can only be no. Or perhaps yes.)</div><div><br /></div><div>“Oh come on. Two grown men? Must have been something you ate.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Over salads, the men tell Marci about their former life as football players, and then their current lives as air conditioner repairmen who enjoy camping on the weekends. When Marci leaves the room to get coffee, Jon detects Gus’s sudden feelings for their host. “Looks like our Gus is slipping his neck into a noose,” comments Jon insensitively.</div><div><br /></div><div>When Marci returns with coffee, there is some more banter that can only be described as incomprehensible (“I’ve got to practically burn Gus’s books to get him out of the house.” “I’ve often wondered why you bother.” “I need somebody to run interference for me, old buddy.”) After a nightmarish shot of Gus staring at his salad, Gus looks at curtains and imagines he sees something out beyond the curtains.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirxM0tTvbKIaC64l0y-kFPlYsvKwF4IfoEgJXZKRokW3a_Hi8astwc2JlUq4EpPGB27BqQqHQSNnqEjfVooapFzQXxgr-JC-hLLyAGHQRhEHr430nPXR3HMlxuXVT5uIILli30Wfcv0vBGYFc0ET8g_l0j46WE32S5XKZ1QfsscJslEcW1PWQ_HT_GKg/s2224/GUS%20STARING%20AT%20FOOD.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1589" data-original-width="2224" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirxM0tTvbKIaC64l0y-kFPlYsvKwF4IfoEgJXZKRokW3a_Hi8astwc2JlUq4EpPGB27BqQqHQSNnqEjfVooapFzQXxgr-JC-hLLyAGHQRhEHr430nPXR3HMlxuXVT5uIILli30Wfcv0vBGYFc0ET8g_l0j46WE32S5XKZ1QfsscJslEcW1PWQ_HT_GKg/w400-h286/GUS%20STARING%20AT%20FOOD.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Gus and Marci share an intense dramatic scene that could have come from a Bergman film. They both stare at the curtain. Gus says, “It’s like a nightmare. If I’m dreaming I want to wake up.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Thanks.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Oh, Marci, I didn’t mean you. You’re so…Damn. I never say what I feel.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Why?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Well, all these things inside me and I want to get ‘em out and when I try people leave. Or I lose them before I get them.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Do you think you’ll lose me.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Yes.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“I’m here, Gus.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Mm. For the moment, but what about tomorrow?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“All we ever have is the moment.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“It’s not enough. I may be alone tomorrow. There’s too much pain.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Pain goes away too.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Then there’s nothing. One fat zero.” He goes on to tell Marci that his father drowned while trying to rescue Gus, and that his mother shot herself and he was sent away to school. Furthermore, Gus broke up Jon’s marriage to a woman named Phyllis because Gus lived with them for too long. Also, Phyllis lost the baby she was pregnant with. “I do destroy everything. Tomorrow I’ll be all alone again.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Of course, there can only be one response to this somewhat depressing life story. Marci goes to Gus and hugs him while Gus has a vision of a cemetery where a priest gives him last rites as he lies on a grave, accompanied by electronic sounds and indiscernible voices.</div><div><br /></div><div>The next day, Marci gives Jon and Gus some food in a big paper grocery bag to take on their unspecified journey. They leave the cabin and walk along a road through the forest, where they encounter some kind of energy being/discoloration hovering over the trees.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr-6kIbAZWh53-9OXfql9sozIUzaHGveyK2RyGgVuXUuj7mENEoD8e1L99NIaeW1wOh9qzkae6SPw6x6kkjCZSKvRwUNZLBBUdDdqJs3v4joLzf9dJl3um1Dn-Eark0j-9EmbYAOU2793s1oTUwCUfzh4rLnvOEeaHDMP29nmGzYYKalhZPXlljkfH1Q/s2224/ENERGY%20BEING.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="2224" height="288" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr-6kIbAZWh53-9OXfql9sozIUzaHGveyK2RyGgVuXUuj7mENEoD8e1L99NIaeW1wOh9qzkae6SPw6x6kkjCZSKvRwUNZLBBUdDdqJs3v4joLzf9dJl3um1Dn-Eark0j-9EmbYAOU2793s1oTUwCUfzh4rLnvOEeaHDMP29nmGzYYKalhZPXlljkfH1Q/w400-h288/ENERGY%20BEING.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Although the energy seems harmless, they try to avoid it by sneaking through the forest. “Oh God, what am I doing?” Jon says, perhaps looking for guidance from the audience, though he will get no answers. A branch falls. He steps back onto the road, and he and Gus continue walking.</div><div><br /></div><div>Eventually, they encounter a car with a flat tire and a mustachioed man who resembles director Russ Meyer. While Jon replaces the flat tire, the man explains his story: He was flying a Cessna 172 when the engine went dead and he made an emergency landing. Then he stumbled upon an abandoned car, but soon the tire went flat. Unusually, these coincidences occurred as an apparent consequence of the man’s inner thoughts—after the plane crash, he thought about where he could find a car, and before the flat, he thought the only thing he needed now was a flat tire.</div><div><br /></div><div>Then the man has a heart attack.</div><div><br /></div><div>Jon and Gus get the car working and drive the afflicted man back to Marci’s cabin. Unfortunately for all involved, the energy being has enveloped the cabin.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLJnYpbFnjbM79AOnfzL5ZTQJnTMl5pj55NfeKt17yZtomqy5hVMGLnIELbZNH1UTvW-w-tfLY2JLJYURxMMWkfK4YiTp3Z2cmefFcJv-Yk1I6SZKBpTI5JfnxYcPic7r-65a4HDQcftJH9qGCw33n2j0DUx9tjgSmS0d_JawSpTvXqEMStcGvrdcK2A/s2224/HOUSE%20AND%20ENERGY%20BEING.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1611" data-original-width="2224" height="290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLJnYpbFnjbM79AOnfzL5ZTQJnTMl5pj55NfeKt17yZtomqy5hVMGLnIELbZNH1UTvW-w-tfLY2JLJYURxMMWkfK4YiTp3Z2cmefFcJv-Yk1I6SZKBpTI5JfnxYcPic7r-65a4HDQcftJH9qGCw33n2j0DUx9tjgSmS0d_JawSpTvXqEMStcGvrdcK2A/w400-h290/HOUSE%20AND%20ENERGY%20BEING.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Gus runs into the cabin and rescues a befuddled Marci. All of them return to the car and drive away, only to find that the Russ Meyer doppelgänger has passed away.</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, Jon and Gus leave Marci in the car while they hike to a restaurant in the middle of a canyon. They find a phone booth but the phone is disabled. “What is this?” Jon asks. “It’s crazy! What in God’s name is going on around here?”</div><div><br /></div><div>After they climb around the hills surrounding the restaurant for about twenty minutes, hearing an electronic buzzing sound that might be diegetic or might be part of the soundtrack (the filmmakers are clever enough never to give away which is correct), the two men return wordlessly to the car and drive away. Suspensefully, the gas gauge is near zero.</div><div><br /></div><div>They stop the car to look at lights in the mountains ahead and use the last of the gas to drive across the desert toward the mountains. In one artful shot, the worried protagonists stare through the windshield that reflects the uncaring, unforgiving sun.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8cJn2wy4dkFHvsSs2rdNhP3XJ7BACzdF3AEf61UDDpARzLlhKVGG6jVf4heLnyGfMd76d4XBSVBmboD3PFIeIURYouQEysQ8F5rpqY4JiECfxMGeV7n9XP0CzkrHERokBgCR5PFDFyVnp8HLGAVku3MliN1fE62DLUZaeraoCJeEizUEvrliuQO0TUA/s2224/SUN%20ON%20WINDSHIELD.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1588" data-original-width="2224" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8cJn2wy4dkFHvsSs2rdNhP3XJ7BACzdF3AEf61UDDpARzLlhKVGG6jVf4heLnyGfMd76d4XBSVBmboD3PFIeIURYouQEysQ8F5rpqY4JiECfxMGeV7n9XP0CzkrHERokBgCR5PFDFyVnp8HLGAVku3MliN1fE62DLUZaeraoCJeEizUEvrliuQO0TUA/w400-h285/SUN%20ON%20WINDSHIELD.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Suddenly, Gus sees something in the desert sands. He tells Jon to stop the car, then he and Marci get out and run across the desert. A curious Jon follows them in the car.</div><div><br /></div><div>They find an intact airplane sitting on the sand—the mustachioed dead man’s plane. Gus, who hinted earlier that he trained to be a pilot, though he never got his license, finds nothing wrong with the plane.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Could you even land this thing?” Jon asks.</div><div><br /></div><div>“I’ve done more landings than you could count,” Gus says. (It is possible he knows that Jon can’t count very high.) “A hell of a lot more than some people with pilot’s licenses.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Jon is skeptical. When he turns away to watch a small tarantula crawl across the desert, he hears the plane’s engine start up. Gus has started the plane and is now taxiing toward takeoff, and Marci has disappeared. “Gus!” Jon shouts, perhaps unwisely running after the plane.</div><div><br /></div><div>After the plane takes off, Jon wanders across the sand and finds a purple jacket.</div><div><br /></div><div>Up in the air, Gus loses control of the plane and its propellor stops. He has a vision of a red tunnel, similar to the view through the curtains of the cabin window. Then, suddenly, he regains control of the plane.</div><div><br /></div><div>The film dissolves from a shot of the plane flying near the ground to a shot of Gus walking through a forest, with no indication that he landed the plane or how he reached the forest. He walks through the trees for about twenty minutes, then he sees a silver pyramid structure a few feet high that appears to be the top of a large pyramid buried in the ground.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwuqSPL7bjNfAdopaMLe9gOV0lUKjBRTS9FbU1IUkoSHhwySYTF21Z97eZXgjgA2P1wmqfgX31wqerBJhRpaL3ooyD-wUckgPsX9acV8yoWujwDoddiCfXPYDrCqNVVJDnRQUSgt9i7I8nIdgNDzsNXZWxvYtko6qv8BIhzHMqS2r1xIau-lsjj4K2Gg/s2224/BURIED%20PYRAMID.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1612" data-original-width="2224" height="290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwuqSPL7bjNfAdopaMLe9gOV0lUKjBRTS9FbU1IUkoSHhwySYTF21Z97eZXgjgA2P1wmqfgX31wqerBJhRpaL3ooyD-wUckgPsX9acV8yoWujwDoddiCfXPYDrCqNVVJDnRQUSgt9i7I8nIdgNDzsNXZWxvYtko6qv8BIhzHMqS2r1xIau-lsjj4K2Gg/w400-h290/BURIED%20PYRAMID.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>When Gus moves too close to the pyramid, he encounters what seems to be an electrical force field, but after a moment he is able to move forward. Suddenly, the top of the pyramid vanishes, revealing a hole into the structure, and Gus courageously climbs inside.</div><div><br /></div><div>Passing through red doors that automatically slide apart a la Star Trek, Gus enters an elevator that brings him down to a corridor. Entering a room, he is assaulted by a large man brandishing a two-by-four. </div><div><br /></div><div>Another man in the room says, “You have nothing to say? Not even as much as a feeble excuse?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“What?” Gus stammers. “Who the hell are you?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“I don’t understand,” the man says.</div><div><br /></div><div>Suddenly, the man with the board disappears and Gus finds he is holding a revolver.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Kill yourself,” the other man says.</div><div><br /></div><div>“What is all of this?” Gus asks, throwing the gun away. It fades to nothing on the floor.</div><div><br /></div><div>Back in the corridor, Gus encounters Marci, but another man tells him he shouldn’t explore on his own because “this place can be dangerous.” Gus follows this man into an office, where the man uses a Star Trek-like food synthesizer to make Gus a meal. “How did you get in here?” the man asks Gus.</div><div><br /></div><div>“I don’t know,” Gus says.</div><div><br /></div><div>“What are you doing here? This is a restricted area.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The filmmakers cut to Jon wandering in the desert, then back to Gus in the underground pyramid, who tells the mysterious man that he saw Marci inside the structure. “I suspect that she is out of your imagination,” the man says. “I guess I should explain a little bit about this place. It’s called Project Touchstone.” He adds, “The word means any test of inner strength. That’s what this project is about. Whatever goes on in the test subject’s mind—his fears, hopes, loves, needs—are transformed into physical reality…with the help of my computer. These emotions…become solid entities, and must be dealt with by the subject.”</div><div><br /></div><div>After Gus expresses confusion about how he is involved, the man continues. “Touchstone was designed to serve as a mental testing ground for astronauts or scientists assigned to duties in isolated parts of the world. People like that.” However, he got word that the government was coming to shut down the project. He thought Gus was one of them.</div><div><br /></div><div>“I’m not, but if I was, I would shut it down. Gladly.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“And destroy a man’s life’s work?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Yes, if he’s working to, uh, control my mind!”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Control your mind? I said nothing about controlling your mind. Only you can do that. Or your mind can control you. That’s what we’re interested in. Who’s in control. The main computer only reads and analyzes the test subject’s mind, and then it recreates in physical form his thought patterns. This is accomplished by pulsating electromagnetic fields in such a way as to slow down high level energy—“</div><div><br /></div><div>“Look, I don’t care what’s going on here. I was just with a friend on a camping trip.” Gus talked about when he and Jon woke up to a ravaged campsite, and that something was chasing them. “You’re not gonna believe it. It was frightening. Tall, about thirty-five feet. It glowed. It glowed.” (One only wishes the filmmakers had shown this glowing creature.)</div><div><br /></div><div>“I’m sorry about this, but you and your friend will have to be debriefed by my superiors.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“What? I’ve had your Touchstone up to here. I’m leaving, and your superiors can go to hell.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“I’m afraid your leaving is impossible,” the man says. “The computer seems to have selected you as its first subject. It let you in. It will have to let you out.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Suddenly, Gus is back outside in the forest, which is now dark. Jon is in the same forest. Gus sees Jon running through the trees but can’t contact him. Then Jon is back in the desert, and Gus is back in the sterile room in the Project Touchstone pyramid.</div><div><br /></div><div>The scientist speaks with his computer, which speaks perfect English despite the fact that its screen shows only scrolling programs written in the BASIC language. The computer’s voice complains, quite justifiably, that the electrical power it is using to generate imaginary people, cabins, and monsters is outside normal limits.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Is Gus the subject,” the scientist asks.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Yes,” the computer replies. “There’s a danger of conflict between the manifestation and the human.” It describes Jon, and says conflict is imminent.</div><div><br /></div><div>Out in the desert, Jon alternates between running for his life from an unseen threat and casually strolling along the sand like a male model with his shirt unbuttoned. </div><div><br /></div><div>Back in the underground pyramid, the corridors rumble. The scientist believes Gus is causing problems with his mind, though Gus is uncertain what is going on. The scientist decides to shut his life’s work down. “Computer, emergency shut down all systems. Implement subroutine two-inner alpha. Don’t worry, I’ll have this thing shut down shortly.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Gus is suddenly in another corridor. He enters a room that becomes a bar where a woman dances and disaffected people sit and drink, including a man with a large triangular hat.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf0gBMWAh1GBu0EIajBcpcijrCVXd8dq8Xf6eDWj5noHuBHi-lXVmrwmrlUxZykyeFUGUZZjcND1E_sTulb-n2YP0YH-udeSUhrHkJspfhbKGhZ5Ldd52fiCfANFSMf-Sd_2tG1UYVQODTl4PT0llXA1aUhAj6y0kpP1aAU8MeDALdZwPlTgZnnMR5hA/s2186/TRIANGLE%20HAT.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1640" data-original-width="2186" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf0gBMWAh1GBu0EIajBcpcijrCVXd8dq8Xf6eDWj5noHuBHi-lXVmrwmrlUxZykyeFUGUZZjcND1E_sTulb-n2YP0YH-udeSUhrHkJspfhbKGhZ5Ldd52fiCfANFSMf-Sd_2tG1UYVQODTl4PT0llXA1aUhAj6y0kpP1aAU8MeDALdZwPlTgZnnMR5hA/w400-h300/TRIANGLE%20HAT.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The behatted man, presumably aroused by the woman’s arrhythmic gyrations, takes off his hat. (It is possible the behatted man represents one of your universe's man religions, but it is more likely that his garments represent the work of a kindergarten class.) Suddenly, half of the woman’s face is scarred. Gus returns to the pyramid corridor, where the behatted man is again wearing his red hat. A man Gus calls “Papa” stands motionless in the corridor. Gus falls to his knees and hugs his father around the crotch region. Then his father’s face is half-scarred.</div><div><br /></div><div>In a 2001-like moment, the computer tells the scientist it is unable to shut down due to a memory error. The scientist attempts to enter a generator room to manually shut everything down, but the computer tells him he needs his supervisor’s approval. However, he quickly convinces the computer to open the door.</div><div><br /></div><div>In a surreal climactic sequence, the filmmakers intercut Gus climbing out of the pyramid and watching the energy being coalesce into a face with the scientist entering the generator room and placing an explosive device next to a metal closet. Outside, the Godlike face tells Gus, “You came back. I knew you would. Why have you been running?”</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRPLvh7NZFnIyY_BblQU0620uJxwR6-nXmXQsbl_SZ91YFAlR6TGnUIks-v0Unag0D3_3mfrMjRuUscjPsH4V7V1d92xiRBSFc1iE2vpOZ6ScrY4EAHnm6mZp8P0EB1hVvXAfcDe7dnLk6nct-O8t46G3-8eSAgGKnRRvIvbinvLwQlQuJpfthz-bXGg/s2237/GIANT%20FACE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1640" data-original-width="2237" height="294" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRPLvh7NZFnIyY_BblQU0620uJxwR6-nXmXQsbl_SZ91YFAlR6TGnUIks-v0Unag0D3_3mfrMjRuUscjPsH4V7V1d92xiRBSFc1iE2vpOZ6ScrY4EAHnm6mZp8P0EB1hVvXAfcDe7dnLk6nct-O8t46G3-8eSAgGKnRRvIvbinvLwQlQuJpfthz-bXGg/w400-h294/GIANT%20FACE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Gus says he will destroy the being, but the face replies, “I have come to destroy you. You are not worth saving. Now you can rest. That’s what you want, isn’t it? Peace?”</div><div><br /></div><div>Shockingly, the face reveals that Gus killed his father and Jon is taking Marci away from Gus. Suddenly, the face blasts lasers from its eyes, then disappears. He sees Marci. She touches a button on the scientist’s bomb. Then something explodes.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the end, we see Jon sitting in the desert over a fire he has built. He watches a plane land nearby and Gus gets out. They say nothing to each other. Both of them climb into the plane and fly away.</div><div><br /></div><div>The End</div><div><br /></div></div><hr /><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Project Nightmare has a release date of 1987 but it feels like it must have been made or begun in the 1970s, as it is much more a coherent artifact of that incoherent decade. Of course, computers were godlike beings accessible only to secret government organizations in the 1970s, even if they were programmed in BASIC, whereas by 1987 they were present in every school and many homes. The artificial intelligence in Project Nightmare, I must argue, is the perfect representation of computer technology in the mid 1970s. It speaks in perfect, fluid, fluent English and is able to create the illusion of matter through electrical fields, but it also has a display that can show only 1,024 text characters. To filmmakers in the late 1970s, this computer would have been the perfect representation of the frightening speed of technological progress. One can only wonder what audiences of 1987--if there were audiences--thought of this near-omnipotent computerized nightmare. Perhaps its late release date is the reason the film is not more influential, though it is of course ripe for rediscovery in the 2020s as artificial intelligence is again a threat that will no doubt destroy the universe. Director Donald Jones and his co-writer James C. Lane (who also collaborated on 1982's Deadly Sunday and 1985's Murderlust) are to be commended for creating a nightmare that is at once dated and timeless.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>Doctor Pseudonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07584099620426375486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-909065385728154804.post-13637855792224220162023-04-10T04:00:00.088-07:002023-04-10T04:00:00.150-07:00“Could She Be a Puppet of the Witchcraft?” - The Last Inn (2021)<div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjY4eMODF4r94k_yjVSAnhX7iFRRRnho8cZ_qWxnfTaEzm0YDyiSpZKsLiI8CkZTdpZMGCt4_hVdwY3PIIrz7cNddV7wYLu7nH85KYboqblSHZ3S88-A4ewydg1NZqloIMFO_7U2vOZGzzRGe5w-zPDhIRFsS0qyL7yor1rFnXOyjhYScMxphlxzG9Gg/s1860/The%20Last%20Inn%20Title.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="1860" height="138" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjY4eMODF4r94k_yjVSAnhX7iFRRRnho8cZ_qWxnfTaEzm0YDyiSpZKsLiI8CkZTdpZMGCt4_hVdwY3PIIrz7cNddV7wYLu7nH85KYboqblSHZ3S88-A4ewydg1NZqloIMFO_7U2vOZGzzRGe5w-zPDhIRFsS0qyL7yor1rFnXOyjhYScMxphlxzG9Gg/w640-h138/The%20Last%20Inn%20Title.png" width="640" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>The term "modern classic" is thrown around left and right, but it only rarely applies to contemporary films. A few exceptions of actual modern classics include Andrew Getty's The Evil Within (2017), Glenn Danzig's Verotika (2019), and the film we are discussing today, David Kuan's The Last Inn (2021), a film with such intriguing visuals, stunning performances, and unique dialogue that only the term "modern classic" can describe it.</div><div><br /></div><div>Some of your universe's critics might disagree. For example, reviewer rotini-52586 <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw7954666/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a> eloquently, "What a herundous movie. Rated this a 1...because there is no zero." (I believe the word Mr. or Ms. 52586 is searching for is "horrendous," and I also believe there is, in fact, a zero.) Reviewer heratyplant <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw7419459/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "Every single scene & every word spoken is wrong or off, so to critique this properly would take all day, suffice it to say this should be on Red Letter Media's Best of the Worst, they'd love it!" And reviewer paul_haakonsen <a href="https://www.imdb.com/review/rw7805005/?ref_=tt_urv" target="_blank">writes</a>, "In fact, you are in for 1 hour and 37 minutes of toe-curling narrative with acting performances as wooden as ventriloquist dummies, and dialogue to match."</div><div><br /></div><div>In point of fact, The Last Inn deserves to be seen as widely as possible. It is a unique and special film. Please read on for my appreciation...</div><div><br /></div><div><span><a name='more'></a></span>At night, in a massive mansion, a little girl performs an occult ritual using a pencil the size of a yardstick.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJmtJs_joZNzd5e1ohtyYGENf7iFs0dtIupW2caJNjWeSHfhNC0_Xru15x8W2vxfrkTBhY_oFje-vqV_9mPwJGhqHrV9nZpkCOt2ZBVH_-Q3Z23TBMPoOcoAGrjCiMVlRRlGDEHnT5lPcTpmV8WDq-PWqh_TimJNRzb_WB_IfjmDfFgAWLfqOjYrIw9w/s2224/GIANT%20PENCIL.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="920" data-original-width="2224" height="165" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJmtJs_joZNzd5e1ohtyYGENf7iFs0dtIupW2caJNjWeSHfhNC0_Xru15x8W2vxfrkTBhY_oFje-vqV_9mPwJGhqHrV9nZpkCOt2ZBVH_-Q3Z23TBMPoOcoAGrjCiMVlRRlGDEHnT5lPcTpmV8WDq-PWqh_TimJNRzb_WB_IfjmDfFgAWLfqOjYrIw9w/w400-h165/GIANT%20PENCIL.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>“Spirit, spirit, you are called, come to me and hide no more,” the little girl repeats. Suddenly, a hand reaches out of her desk and grabs the little girl’s hand. A picture falls from the wall. The girl screams and the screen goes black.</div><div><br /></div><div>The filmmakers cut to the de rigueur drone shot of a car traveling along a highway. The driver, a young woman named Laura, sees two figures—a woman and a child—in the middle of the highway. she swerves and strikes a tree, waking up the next morning with a dab of blood on her forehead. She climbs out of the car, then tries to flag down a young man driving a pickup truck drinking Dr. Pepper, but he only tosses the can at her. She begins walking down the highway.</div><div><br /></div><div>Eventually, Laura reaches a dirt road flanked by two sings. The first shows a skull and crossbones with the caption “11 Misty Road.” The second displays arrows pointing in two directions—Sass Town is 21 miles along the dirt road, while Lawst Inn is 1.5 miles to the right. She chooses the shortest path, toward Lawst Inn.</div><div><br /></div><div>Presumably after 1.5 miles of walking along a dusty hillside, she comes across a new sign: “Welcome to the Lawst Inn.” She approaches the castle-like mansion from the prologue.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDt-ebXa2qxJ-Ud3fbxJXn3roTGdVyJgtT5HZaGdi5g07FcTHxpT6SiAVHD6Kvw-2fBcY_GHnOYtUi6jOACTAoxqCJQrQhDpRVF3oXdGuk8ayyzR0zVkxRbYjMgAWCvtdyRodOSjjZLk8jtCoTMscWR4PrTbmhK5NDRsswSma6W3-mFarlh4TQ01fyzQ/s2360/WALKING%20TO%20INN.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="980" data-original-width="2360" height="166" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDt-ebXa2qxJ-Ud3fbxJXn3roTGdVyJgtT5HZaGdi5g07FcTHxpT6SiAVHD6Kvw-2fBcY_GHnOYtUi6jOACTAoxqCJQrQhDpRVF3oXdGuk8ayyzR0zVkxRbYjMgAWCvtdyRodOSjjZLk8jtCoTMscWR4PrTbmhK5NDRsswSma6W3-mFarlh4TQ01fyzQ/w400-h166/WALKING%20TO%20INN.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The inn appears deserted, but she is startled by a ringing phone (the old-fashioned phone rings only once, and she doesn’t touch it). Then an old man opens some sliding doors to tell her, “We don’t have any more open rooms.”</div><div><br /></div><div>She points to a wall full of numbered keys and asks eloquently, “Don’t they mean there’s vacancy?”</div><div><br /></div><div>An old woman arrives from a nearby staircase. “Please wait,” she says, then to the old man: “Dear, you’re freaking her out. There is one room left.” She introduces herself as Mrs. Lawst and tells Laura, quite insistently, to come with her. Laura follows her upstairs and along an expansive hallway. Mrs. Lawst explains, “We haven’t had much business since the town was abandoned. We’ve kept only a few guest rooms open.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“It’s too quiet,” Laura says forebodingly, though the sound of their shoes clacking on the linoleum makes her statement somewhat unconvincing. When Mrs. Lawst reaches the door at the end of the hall, she knocks.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Is there anyone in there?” Laura asks, confused as to why her hostess would knock on the door to an empty room.</div><div><br /></div><div>“No. It’s just an old wives’ tale. Rooms vacant for too long may attract the unknown, and we must respect it.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Vampires?” Laura asks seriously.</div><div><br /></div><div>“No. Ghosts.”</div><div><br /></div><div>After letting Laura into the room, Mrs. Lawst also warns Laura about going outside when it gets foggy: “The mountain fog is the entrance to the spiritual world. And once inside, your soul will be lost forever.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Uh…is this another old wives’ tale?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Curiosity kills the cat. And we don’t have nine lives.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Oh.” Laura explores her room, seemingly forgetting the fact that her car is sitting next to a tree a few miles away.</div><div><br /></div><div>At night, Laura takes a shower, but she is interrupted by the front door of her palatial hotel room being rattled (something she of course can hear over the sound of the shower). “Who is it?” she asks, and wears a towel as she walks into the bedroom, though she never investigates the rattling doorknob. Instead, she goes through her own wallet, pulling out a photo of her on a hillside near the Golden Gate Bridge.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_5lJNTYwsofWfYHBitjjJmFljqCOKoaFv9_Xou6auN5b0aOACQT9M1zohW04B1DuVKkMyG_lH68JxPGn3FWbStCJjrv8kfzln2ZS3v1AuzThGVKgS-n-nsRJa4BqxQdlcp-V5Sl9EkIy_P8ctI0l98RIMzF6r3hKO3g2LdyoHYp6kw7oA7KoeW9eRog/s2360/PHOTO.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="995" data-original-width="2360" height="169" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_5lJNTYwsofWfYHBitjjJmFljqCOKoaFv9_Xou6auN5b0aOACQT9M1zohW04B1DuVKkMyG_lH68JxPGn3FWbStCJjrv8kfzln2ZS3v1AuzThGVKgS-n-nsRJa4BqxQdlcp-V5Sl9EkIy_P8ctI0l98RIMzF6r3hKO3g2LdyoHYp6kw7oA7KoeW9eRog/w400-h169/PHOTO.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>“Damn it. It’s so weird,” she tells herself. “I don’t remember anything about this picture.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Then a loud clatter from above makes her jump. She runs to the hallway and sees a pair of men’s shoes outside another door. Of course, the soundtrack grows ominous and frightening at the sight of the shoes.</div><div><br /></div><div>After she runs to the lobby and uses the old-fashioned telephone to call 911, though the call is dropped when she tells the operator she is at the Lawst Inn.</div><div><br /></div><div>She is interrupted by a young man named Steven. He tells her he will investigate the sounds she heard. They go to the hotel’s third floor and knock on a door, where a young woman with a pale blue face, Britney, answers the door. Steven says, “Britney, are you all right?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Yeah,” says the pale woman.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Did you call for help?” asks Laura.</div><div><br /></div><div>Britney closes the door when a little boy in her room says, “Mom.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Confused, Laura walks down the hall with Steven. “Have we met before?” he asks her. When he asks why, she says, “I just couldn’t help but think I’ve met you before in the past. The other day, I had a car accident and all my memories are blurry.”</div><div><br /></div><div>After a series of dreamlike images (water flowing, a Bible opening by itself and turning to an illustration, a television screen showing static), Laura rips open the curtains to look outside, where there is nothing but trees. The filmmakers cut to Mr. and Mrs. Lawst, who stand some distance away, watching the inn. “She’s gonna find out soon,” Mr. Lawst says, but his wife counters, “Not for a while.”</div><div><br /></div><div>In a fascinating use of filmmaking technique, we watch as Laura dreams she is walking down the hallway outside her room where she sees a little girl who turns into an old woman that snarls, “Get out of my house!” Laura wakes up in her room in the bright sunlight and a caption is superimposed: “The Next Day.” Then the image of Laura waking fades to black.</div><div><br /></div><div>We next see the hotel’s dining room, where Mrs. Last hosts a young Black couple who debate the qualities of a portrait on the wall. The woman asks, “Is this a portrait of you, Mrs. Lawst?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Yes,” replies the old woman cryptically (or perhaps not so cryptically).</div><div><br /></div><div>Laura enters the dining room and the couple introduces themselves as Nicole and Peter. As Laura sits down, she asks with great specificty, “So, are you here on a trip?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“I would call it…an adventure,” Nicole answers. She adds, “The town of Sass is haunted.” She explains, “Everyone was killed overnight upon a devil’s curse.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Oh my God,” says Laura.</div><div><br /></div><div>“It’s just some rumor on the internet,” Peter says. “The truth is the whole town died of an epidemic.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Everyone?” Laura says. “No, because Mrs. Lawst seemed like she lived here before.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“If that’s true, she must have heard of the evil witchcraft of Sass.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Laura smiles as if Nicole has told a joke. Then Steven arrives and Mrs. Lawst serves fresh-squeezed orange juice. After Mrs. Lawst leaves, promising the leaky roof of the inn will be fixed, Nicole says, perfectly normally, “I found her a bit weird. She doesn’t look like a real person. Could she be a puppet of the witchcraft?”</div><div><br /></div><div>Peter replies, also quite normally, “I’d eat a puppet if it tasted good.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“I can see. You’re always hungry.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Not as much as you when you were in bed.”</div><div><br /></div><div>(I must confess I am still not used to your universe’s ways, so I only understand about twenty percent of the aforementioned conversation.)</div><div><br /></div><div>Not to be outdone by the conversation, Steven pipes up: “Have you noticed the cross on the door? They say that any silver cross can tame an evil spirit.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Ooh,” Nicole says (again, perfectly normally), “Evil spirit? If there was one, it’d be fun to keep it as a pet.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Everyone at the table, of course, chuckles at Nicole’s suggestion.</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, Laura and Steven walk around the forest, flirting with each other. Steven calls Laura charming, to which she replies, “Thanks. I thought you were about to say something awkward because you were so hesitant to spit it out.” She also fishes for whether or not Steven has a girlfriend, to which he replies that he does indeed have a girlfriend. Prompted by this, Laura tells him her complicated life story (her father abandoned her mother and her before Laura was born so he could marry his boss’s daughter, which left Laura’s mother so distraught she died soon after Laura’s birth). She also tells him she doesn’t remember before her car accident, and that since the accident she has been having a voice in her head telling her to go to an island (something the audience has not, of course, witnessed).</div><div><br /></div><div>Back at the inn, Laura encounters Mrs. Lawst and suddenly remembers she should have her car repaired. Unfortunately for Laura, Mrs. Lawst tells her, not at all awkwardly, “The phone line has stopped working since yesterday. I don’t think we can get it fixed until the road is clear.”</div><div><br /></div><div>In a romantic interlude, Nicole and Peter make out on a settee when Nicole hears a little girl giggling. They investigate but find nothing except an old dress with an alarming blood stain hanging in a wardrobe.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggJVZ9xfh0X7ejmPCfVP06DLGm6IB7SXCzoWjW1iaWGcmwjLvPYXBwx_UYxWPy3C-s9KDhls8v3QSx537S9llvBvagiXXlVJNrm6SD2FlrAEZ72Fw-0aB4jgIG35p1VnYVzCAuCK2iiYsYHtrY4bwVREPnUmYfluy9As9MAysB7L87jYeL0BIyskxXpQ/s2224/BLOOD%20STAIN.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="935" data-original-width="2224" height="169" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggJVZ9xfh0X7ejmPCfVP06DLGm6IB7SXCzoWjW1iaWGcmwjLvPYXBwx_UYxWPy3C-s9KDhls8v3QSx537S9llvBvagiXXlVJNrm6SD2FlrAEZ72Fw-0aB4jgIG35p1VnYVzCAuCK2iiYsYHtrY4bwVREPnUmYfluy9As9MAysB7L87jYeL0BIyskxXpQ/w400-h169/BLOOD%20STAIN.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, Laura does her own investigation and finds the creepy doll from the opening scene in a hallway. She takes the doll back to her room and strokes it.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqyV-pGWDO6QIvsF9K1DNGALGA5nyiL8-ZmTYhobD2ruZeEkhGd8tY4hJEN4Vtm-ikmkJU_xYXU5diOb1TE-I8LM0zyxW6VqPiC7GP1KSW8aNGB5xRrb78R8Sj-GJCrmXDsrk9ioacp8NGubEL4oNnjCOZZRmvSocS-w3ZNARxSB95BXOyfBS5puJ0sQ/s2224/DOLL.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="928" data-original-width="2224" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqyV-pGWDO6QIvsF9K1DNGALGA5nyiL8-ZmTYhobD2ruZeEkhGd8tY4hJEN4Vtm-ikmkJU_xYXU5diOb1TE-I8LM0zyxW6VqPiC7GP1KSW8aNGB5xRrb78R8Sj-GJCrmXDsrk9ioacp8NGubEL4oNnjCOZZRmvSocS-w3ZNARxSB95BXOyfBS5puJ0sQ/w400-h168/DOLL.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>At night, Laura sees the blue-faced Britney and feels water dripping on her face, so she goes upstairs to Britney’s room, only to find the young woman lying in the bathtub, apparently dead. Laura races to find Mrs. Lawst, unaware that Britney opens her eyes in the bathtub. Laura runs downstairs to a basement, where she comes upon a frightening scene: a masked man stands over a little girl staked to a low table with Satanic inscriptions.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8yDITsGLQ475C6gyy6mBwpnaFX0vsuId8Ch_qG8KUXiHVy1y2No1V_qZhMy6IR22dmhzw4HO7mOn85ZcNh_RoavI1XHlJ5jflCFc9GIjrw1hVkvOcYlL3sDsxhi0bBtBUSzChs5wRMZKIum22-sgSndxRE234kDVPPePLNZDKMA-YXNy5phnqbU7Z5g/s2224/RITUAL.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="955" data-original-width="2224" height="171" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8yDITsGLQ475C6gyy6mBwpnaFX0vsuId8Ch_qG8KUXiHVy1y2No1V_qZhMy6IR22dmhzw4HO7mOn85ZcNh_RoavI1XHlJ5jflCFc9GIjrw1hVkvOcYlL3sDsxhi0bBtBUSzChs5wRMZKIum22-sgSndxRE234kDVPPePLNZDKMA-YXNy5phnqbU7Z5g/w400-h171/RITUAL.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Gruesomely, the man uses a hammer to drive a metal spike into the girl’s forehead.</div><div><br /></div><div>Of course, Laura responds as anyone would: She throws her flashlight at the man. The flashlight bounces off his mask. Laura runs, but the filmmakers show the man removing his mask, revealing that it is Steven.</div><div><br /></div><div>Laura runs away, sees a hanged woman, and slides down a staircase. She wakes up in her room where Nicole, Peter, and Steven stand over her. Then Britney knocks at the door and says, “I think you just sleepwalked into my room.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, only Laura and Steven remain in her room. “I swear I saw Britney dead in the bathtub,” Laura says. </div><div><br /></div><div>Helpfully, Steven says, “Britney was a heavy drug addict, I mean, serious drugs. Maybe it’s just one of her O.D. symptoms and she’ll come round afterwards.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“But I couldn’t feel her pulse.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Maybe it was just one of the O.D. symptoms,” Steven repeats convincingly.</div><div><br /></div><div>“But then, what about what I saw in the basement?”</div><div><br /></div><div>“I bet you were terrified by what you saw in Britney’s room and it caused an illusion.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Okay. Yeah. That makes sense.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Steven sees the doll and starts acting nervous. He explains, quite correctly, “Some dolls have souls and if they’re from an unknown source I don’t think we should mess with them.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“I see.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“You can never be too careful.”</div><div><br /></div><div>The next day, the little ghost girl retrieves the doll, which Laura has abandoned in a hallway, and runs off with her little friend Charlie, Britney’s son. Elsewhere, Nicole and Peter investigate the painting of Mrs. Lawst in the dining room. Nicole wants to determine when the painting was painted, but she finds no clues.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc5IYM86FRtoZ2MkSnXe550eT1dB6Ha07Q2O1yorJSrkwGqyb2pa8UKVXJJ3SBws4M0mQejamHDkUZI0yDmCrhQapMkfM_mP30nt77JiDLS_DyQNpqzxjHPX6O02577eTCeyzMwGKWSo27p60uaEg3jZIqse9pE2SnfHQBraTvXnH-uQ50MvE8DYa_Qg/s2360/PAINTING.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="986" data-original-width="2360" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc5IYM86FRtoZ2MkSnXe550eT1dB6Ha07Q2O1yorJSrkwGqyb2pa8UKVXJJ3SBws4M0mQejamHDkUZI0yDmCrhQapMkfM_mP30nt77JiDLS_DyQNpqzxjHPX6O02577eTCeyzMwGKWSo27p60uaEg3jZIqse9pE2SnfHQBraTvXnH-uQ50MvE8DYa_Qg/w400-h168/PAINTING.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>After breakfast, Laura and Steven investigate the basement, which is dusty and untouched. They are startled to find both the doll (which Laura placed in the hallway yesterday) and Charlie hiding under a drop cloth.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0Lc_N8YDoE-dKdHfOzoDdsCZ1ccZvOtY5biCL-GYBRlgejQ8E0ktuwUzPgPQE1UvexPlXkHSHbdJbsslRmNKpTByFTN0gRpCYYGJwMjLUQX6UEt9eTvAzSLDDkRAsFEfkZsNZH2m8G9fD2O_On-uL-ZFoyvlbElcq5Cwt-R-BJFDeOVt9K8heBxpdhA/s2360/CHARLIE%20UNDER%20TABNLE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="971" data-original-width="2360" height="165" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0Lc_N8YDoE-dKdHfOzoDdsCZ1ccZvOtY5biCL-GYBRlgejQ8E0ktuwUzPgPQE1UvexPlXkHSHbdJbsslRmNKpTByFTN0gRpCYYGJwMjLUQX6UEt9eTvAzSLDDkRAsFEfkZsNZH2m8G9fD2O_On-uL-ZFoyvlbElcq5Cwt-R-BJFDeOVt9K8heBxpdhA/w400-h165/CHARLIE%20UNDER%20TABNLE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Satisfied that the murder incident yesterday must have been a hallucination, Laura goes upstairs with Steven to his room so she can admire his printed photographs, which are haphazardly taped at various angles to the wall.</div><div><br /></div><div>At night, in a creepy scene, Mrs. Lawst puts the doll, whom she calls Adele and thinks is her daughter, to sleep while she tells Steven, “We don’t have much time left.” In a clever bit of framing, the filmmakers show Mrs. Lawst in front of the head of the bed, whose frame is decorated with shapes hinting at the number 666.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-7afvFERofsHvQVhnt6KfPzy_C_t7h0s1GBqdtqlBdAs0nLhVcP2GZtskZbUx0ot8CKNAOtHVBlw0g2zufnMHQYVdjDUBZt3JSF-6gBJACALWf5ysQ5zA7yve8lN8YiMYKMYVLptvcCEbTsx47VIAbBvsBQKyzDepB6t0WKfuMQzpX377VI1vVoq6cw/s2360/666.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="972" data-original-width="2360" height="165" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-7afvFERofsHvQVhnt6KfPzy_C_t7h0s1GBqdtqlBdAs0nLhVcP2GZtskZbUx0ot8CKNAOtHVBlw0g2zufnMHQYVdjDUBZt3JSF-6gBJACALWf5ysQ5zA7yve8lN8YiMYKMYVLptvcCEbTsx47VIAbBvsBQKyzDepB6t0WKfuMQzpX377VI1vVoq6cw/w400-h165/666.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>The next day, Nicole, having nothing to do, follows the little girl into an empty room. Though she does not find the girl, she finds a large spirit board and brings it back to her room, where Peter asks about it. Nicole explains to Peter, “It is a very popular mysticism game in Asia which can be used to summon evil spirits. This is also sorcery.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Peter, who is playing a game on his phone, concludes, “So what they say on the internet is true. The people in Sass believed in sorcery.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Nicole tells him she wants to play the game (i.e., the spirit board) with Laura tonight. The film cuts to nighttime, when Laura, Nicole, and Peter set out the spirit board and get started, using the gigantic pencil the little girl in the opening used as a planchette.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihHnHJKCV2YvBtp9oDRJq9c58sGYRY_MO_k-iD8u2mH5W1zzhIl6oQzmLMZifVXCYXQRoO1Zpz0z1gooyxK-lIUUG37jVTB-yPYjNowFWUqqaWbxp4DNs2mHNZaQfw8OdauCClF9p3RfVJXNGDK2rl_WwWVmNwFCkKvRMzLP4BfYUZdzGlHZd1siQOZw/s2224/PENCIL%20AS%20PLANCHETTE.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="946" data-original-width="2224" height="170" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihHnHJKCV2YvBtp9oDRJq9c58sGYRY_MO_k-iD8u2mH5W1zzhIl6oQzmLMZifVXCYXQRoO1Zpz0z1gooyxK-lIUUG37jVTB-yPYjNowFWUqqaWbxp4DNs2mHNZaQfw8OdauCClF9p3RfVJXNGDK2rl_WwWVmNwFCkKvRMzLP4BfYUZdzGlHZd1siQOZw/w400-h170/PENCIL%20AS%20PLANCHETTE.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>They summon an invisible spirit. Laura asks, “Do you know what I’ve forgotten?” and the spirit responds by circling letters on the spirit board: DEA—</div><div><br /></div><div>Suddenly a white hand grabs the gigantic pencil and tosses it away. They are interrupted by Steven, who says they shouldn’t call spirits in this house, and then the game breaks up without anyone sending the spirit away.</div><div><br /></div><div>Later, Laura dreams of a phone call telling her Steven is not to be trusted, and then she sees a ghost drop a glass of water. Of course, Laura immediately walks to Steven’s room to wake him up, but instead she finds Mr. Lawst chopping some meat in the kitchen. “You shouldn’t be here, walking in here at night. Curiosity killed the cat.”</div><div><br /></div><div>In their own room, Nicole and Peter are terrified because the doll is sitting on a bedside table. They cower away from the doll, breathing heavily, though the doll does not move.</div><div><br /></div><div>At breakfast, Mrs. Lawst gives Laura the backstory of Britney, the woman who never comes to breakfast. Her husband beat her and forced her into prostitution, and Mrs. Lawst implies worse things before Mr. Lawst arrives with Laura’s breakfast, a rare steak sitting on a bed of lettuce—obviously the most traditional breakfast imaginable.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJUJcvtlXuEbEmg06B8eXBtD0W0UpD45Yk_6WQD3kJOJxL3_vdYvDDep5F_XxiKF55fvuU508hROieGLB99Vz_f5z_Co3am2HmT18YKrDsWXSq2nQQyhnERJIR7xfkpsKmLecR76PRQQ7BvoTWZBBVUZAO-4ir-1QWqYqLgOwKwduEj5aDr3fVf0f4RA/s2224/BREAKFAST.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="921" data-original-width="2224" height="166" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJUJcvtlXuEbEmg06B8eXBtD0W0UpD45Yk_6WQD3kJOJxL3_vdYvDDep5F_XxiKF55fvuU508hROieGLB99Vz_f5z_Co3am2HmT18YKrDsWXSq2nQQyhnERJIR7xfkpsKmLecR76PRQQ7BvoTWZBBVUZAO-4ir-1QWqYqLgOwKwduEj5aDr3fVf0f4RA/w400-h166/BREAKFAST.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>After pushing the breakfast away, Laura sits with Steven on a bench overlooking a lake. They observe Britney’s little boy Charlie playing with the little girl, who stands behind the blindfolded Charlie and grabs him until both giggle. Laura says, “Look how happy they are. I wish I could stay like a kid for forever.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Steven replies, “Yeah, but kids don’t stay like that forever. They’ll eventually experience love, and then pain. And that’s when they know they’ve grown up…like us. And then there’s no turning back.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Suddenly, the little girl vanishes, confusing both Charlie and Laura, though Steven says Charlie has been playing by himself the entire time.</div><div><br /></div><div>At breakfast the next day, Laura speaks with Nicole and Peter, who are convinced they are being haunted by the doll. Shocked, Laura realizes she hasn’t seen the little girl’s parents, so she must be a spirit haunting the inn. They make plans to leave the inn as soon as the roads are cleared, but Steven interrupts them and they keep quiet. Later, Laura watches the video from a camcorder she has set up watching her room. She sees a silhouette behind a curtain, and then the video crackles with snow. She tries showing the video to Steven but nothing is visible.</div><div><br /></div><div>At night, Nicole and Peter snoop around the inn and see the doll sitting on a chair, doing nothing. Of course, they are terrified of the doll, nearly to the point of fainting.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAgrnhlFAT_N5uvgB4oLJfR3JNdFmK0nVavqisV0xAZ0Ws-HTu1X1SiCP5CTLPbo-l8sMAhus8_2szMyCK4ix_eSrCXzXoqPCjuJW-hWz1PgK_aQAWBGd5Cr7rdayAokKZ4s0ww7zn8jPYqi3dKvxaBUYMVLkRk6yih2t7klXZI7u9HVEnaNXhEouwfA/s2224/TERRIFIED%20OF%20DOLL.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="935" data-original-width="2224" height="169" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAgrnhlFAT_N5uvgB4oLJfR3JNdFmK0nVavqisV0xAZ0Ws-HTu1X1SiCP5CTLPbo-l8sMAhus8_2szMyCK4ix_eSrCXzXoqPCjuJW-hWz1PgK_aQAWBGd5Cr7rdayAokKZ4s0ww7zn8jPYqi3dKvxaBUYMVLkRk6yih2t7klXZI7u9HVEnaNXhEouwfA/w400-h169/TERRIFIED%20OF%20DOLL.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Pulling a Telly Savalas, they go outside and burn the doll. Creepily, it starts moving and crying like a baby.</div><div><br /></div><div>Inside, we view a horrific scene as Mr. Lawst chops up a human body, presumably for the next day’s breakfast steak.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhExYrwcp1Sbu4Dpbg8TloPn_Dnk634ecHCoJwg2TEbhylktTWdlzfuRdVqXCFxULem6J13RtgmoXuLDJsTK_oFrU3Yr9_J0sYov23CEfRQfJPHok27pXnyRGCZBWnzzatNAkF6OCUeSOm7GjY3xFDuFC7iNA1svoPTBXDhge8VR-PD3dtokfQvV98g2g/s2224/CHOPPING%20UP%20HUMAN.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="903" data-original-width="2224" height="163" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhExYrwcp1Sbu4Dpbg8TloPn_Dnk634ecHCoJwg2TEbhylktTWdlzfuRdVqXCFxULem6J13RtgmoXuLDJsTK_oFrU3Yr9_J0sYov23CEfRQfJPHok27pXnyRGCZBWnzzatNAkF6OCUeSOm7GjY3xFDuFC7iNA1svoPTBXDhge8VR-PD3dtokfQvV98g2g/w400-h163/CHOPPING%20UP%20HUMAN.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Mrs. Lawst interrupts his chopping. “Darling, if you got to choose again, would you still want to experience this every seven days?”</div><div><br /></div><div>He grins. “You bet.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Upstairs, Nicole and Peter find the burned doll. Then a hand grabs Peter’s ankle and drags him under the bed. And Nicole faints when she sees a life-sized version of the doll in the room.</div><div><br /></div><div>On the seventh morning, everyone gathers in Nicole and Peter’s room, where Nicole and Peter writhe on the bed, terrified but unable to communicate with Laura, Steven, and Mrs. Lawst. </div><div><br /></div><div>At night, Laura walks through a hallway using the video camera. She can see a ghost through the camera’s monitor that does not appear in the hallway. She runs to look for Steven but can’t find him. She runs outside, only to stumble upon the graves of Mr. and Mrs. Lawst, who died in 1941. She runs through the woods, quickly finding Nicole and Peter, who run with her. Then they encounter Nicole and Peter’s dead bodies in the woods.</div><div><br /></div><div>“Peter! It’s us!” Nicole says. “We’re dead!”</div><div><br /></div><div>“I remember that day we were swept away by the flood,” Peter adds helpfully. Then the two of them vanish in a cloud of yellow glitter.</div><div><br /></div><div>Laura continues running through the forest, but all paths lead back to the inn. She runs upstairs and stumbles upon a gruesome scene: the drowned Charlie lying in a bathtub full of blood while Britney stabs her abusive husband.</div><div><br /></div><div>The filmmakers cut (one might say awkwardly) to another scene explaining the backstory of the little girl and the doll. In this scene, the little girl’s parents are being lectured at by a priest: “The reason your daughter can see ghosts is because she played a game originating in ancient Asia which uses the pen and board as a medium to summon the spirit, and in this case a spirit hiding in the doll.” He adds, “I checked the church record and it said that in the 1930s there was an evil sorcerer that came to Sass Town, and was sacrificing little girls to the demons. And Adele was one of the victims.” The doll, Adele, must wander around until the end of time. Also, Adele died and her parents put her ashes inside the doll “as if she were still alive.” Adele’s father was Mr. Lawst, her mother was Mrs. Lawst, and they chopped the sorceror’s body into pieces (presumably to make breakfast steak). </div><div><br /></div><div>Helpfully, the priest also has a newspaper explaining the story of Britney and Charlie, summarized with the old-timely headline “A husband was killed at Lawst Inn his body was dismembered and cooked.”</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9kDtaY1hxr6OS0GhViZ7MwpJ8WvMoK2-mBT0KjalEtwPOejnHeaMdOhjZmCcev4tsu1tQmfOmf0YELaSX27Qaioh6BUoL8Fh41ULPAeEeb1JNMJrdmYphf901bZKSvFe_jKPJMkG9qfP0KY5yT1x_O8WQK-9y4_Wdypf2jpdzwzONP5w_D8NoemrUZQ/s2224/NEWSPAPER.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="929" data-original-width="2224" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9kDtaY1hxr6OS0GhViZ7MwpJ8WvMoK2-mBT0KjalEtwPOejnHeaMdOhjZmCcev4tsu1tQmfOmf0YELaSX27Qaioh6BUoL8Fh41ULPAeEeb1JNMJrdmYphf901bZKSvFe_jKPJMkG9qfP0KY5yT1x_O8WQK-9y4_Wdypf2jpdzwzONP5w_D8NoemrUZQ/w400-h168/NEWSPAPER.png" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Laura runs through the flashback and suddenly realizes, shockingly, that she too is dead, though the circumstances are slightly unclear. Based on the spectacular flashback montage scored with a soaring pop song that follows this revelation, Laura and Steven met in college and then planned to drive from San Francisco to his parents in Galveston, but they were both in a car accident. Steven died but Laura is in a coma.</div><div><br /></div><div>The Lawsts appear before her and explain that seven days is the limit and today is the deadline. Now that she remembers what happened, she can return to her body. Steven couldn’t tell her what was going on, Mrs. Lawst explains, because “Your soul would have to be strong enough to recover your memory on your own, or else you would have ended up like Nicole and Peter. Only strong souls survive.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Yeah,” the ghost girl says. “Those two easily chickened out.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Mrs. Lawst explains more of the rules: Steven would have to repeat every moment before his death every seven days, which was also a choice Mr. and Mrs. Lawst made to be with their daughter. </div><div><br /></div><div>Laura decides to look for Steven to tell him she loves him rather than return to her body in the real world. She runs through the forest. And then a boulder falls on top of her.</div><div><br /></div><div>Laura wakes up in the hospital. As she sits in a wheelchair, two nurses talk about her situation. “Lucky girl. I heard that her boyfriend took the hit for her. Too bad he didn’t make it.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“If someone loved me like that, I’d marry him in a heartbeat.”</div><div><br /></div><div>“Oh no, I can’t go on with this. We witness all kinds of pain every day but this job doesn’t allow us to shed tears.”</div><div><br /></div><div>Laura looks at a picture and remembers what really happened. She and Steven stopped their car and took photos by the side of the road. They met Nicole and Peter briefly on a motorcycle. Then they continued in the car, listening to an emergency radio broadcast saying there is flooding in the area (we see no rain but we hear thunder). Laura and Steven argue about meeting his parents. Then they drive through a landslide. A big boulder falls onto the car, but Steven manages to shield Laura somehow by hugging her.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the end, Laura uses the gigantic pencil to contact a spirit that might or might not be Steven.</div><div><br /></div><div>The End</div><div><br /></div><hr /><div><br /></div><div>I wish to summarize my appreciation of The Last Inn with one sentence: <b>This film must be seen.</b> It is truly from a different dimension than the one in which you live. A much, much better dimension. One can only hope director David Kuan and writers Bill Jones and Catherine Lewis continue to make films as special as this one.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div>Doctor Pseudonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07584099620426375486noreply@blogger.com