“I Hope You Remember That the Next Time You Get Dressed” - Curfew (1989)

Let us now examine the classic home invasion thriller from 1989, Curfew. Starring Kyle Richards and made by the director of 13 Going on 30 (2004) and Charlotte's Web (2006), this chilling film asks the question "How far will two escaped murderers go to get revenge?" and then, mostly, answers that question.

Of course, some of your universe's critics are lukewarm about this classic. For example, reviewer JohnSeal writes that the film may be seen as "severely wanting in technical proficiency, quality of screenplay, acting, and music." Reviewer HorrorFan1984 calls the film "a very skippable late 80's movie in the horror genre." And reviewer metalrage666 writes, "there are way too many plot holes and moments of mind-numbing stupidity to make this worth watching."

Read on for a more nuanced appreciation of 1989's Curfew...

“They’re Big Men from Tough Town” - Night Fright (1967)

It is time to acknowledge the brilliance of the minimalist monster movie Night Fright (1967), directed by James Sullivan, editor of Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966). Not only is the film a chilling creature feature, it is also a good example of the shifts in values moving from the 1960s toward the 1970s.

Some of your universe's critics are flummoxed by the brilliance of Night Fright. For example, reviewer mark.waltz writes, "Dreadfully boring and beyond recommendation, this combination mutant monster movie and beach party movie without a beach is insipidness at its most absurd." Reviewer rangeriderrango writes, " I wish I could get back the 85 minutes of my life that I wasted watching this crap." And reviewer soulexpress writes, "The writing, acting, and production values are only a smidgen above MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE."

Read on for the truth about Night Fright...

“Me You Too” - Ecstasy on Lover’s Island aka Honeymoon of Terror (1961)

Because we have already discussed Honeymoon of Horror (1964) in great detail, not to mention Honeymoon Horror (1982), it would be a mistake not to treat Honeymoon of Terror (aka Ecstasy on Lover's Island) with the same respect.

Unfortunately, some of your universe's critics fail to respect this film. For example, reviewer HumanoidOfFlesh writes, "Low-budget trash from early 60's with some of the oddest dialogue I have ever heard." Reviewer Lexzilla writes, "I don’t really have anything nice to say about the film." And reviewer RogerRabid writes, "Wow, this dddrrraaagggsss at 60 minutes."

Read on for the truth about Honeymoon of Terror aka Ecstasy on Lover's Island...

“Science Fiction Is Just a Fact of Everyday Life” - Robotropolis (2012)

We now return to our appreciation of science fiction classics with Robotropolis (2012), a film with admirable computer graphics that asks the highly original question "What would happen if robots revolted against humans?"

Of course, some of your universe's critics fail to appreciate Robotropolis. For example, reviewer davidfurlotte writes, "Seriously, did anyone even bother to THINK before they put some of these scenes together?" Reviewer slmcdee writes, humorously but incorrectly, "This movie is absolutely terrible. The best thing about this movie is... gimme a second... well the part where... nope. Okay, there are no good parts to this movie." And reviewer philip4579 writes, "It's predictable. It's anti-climatic. It's poorly thought out. Poorly acted (you know everyone is phoning it in)."

Read on for the truth about Robotropolis...

"Are We Gonna Start This Tribal Crap Again?" - The Chosen One: Legend of the Raven (1998)

When one speaks of classic films, the best of the best, one rarely thinks of superhero films, but today's appreciation covers not just a superhero film but a cynical, erotic superhero film starring Carmen Electra. I speak, of course, of The Chosen One: Legend of the Raven from 1998.

Some of your universe's critics are bizarrely unkind to The Chosen One: Legend of the Raven. Reviewer rayd-2 writes, "Almost impossible to follow, not that there is much follow in the first place. Stilted acting and an idiotic plot. This is just a very poor film." Reviewer Zanatos writes (cleverly but incorrectly), "The producers probably flew over the cuckoo's nest, because this bird-brained "Raven" should be locked in an atrium forever." And reviewer Leofwine_draca writes, "This is truly pitiful stuff with barely any kind of a story to drive it forward."

Read on for a full appreciation of The Chosen One: Legend of the Raven...

"It's So Good to Be Married" - Alien Love (2024)

As we continue our exploration of modern classics from the last few years, we would be remiss if we ignored Nathan Hill and Simon Oliver's Alien Love (2024), an Australian science fiction film about an astronaut and his wife.

Some of your universe's critics fail to understand the visionary quality of Alien Love. For example, reviewer axel335 writes, "This movies is awful. It's awful in any way a movie can be awful. There are currently no words in the English language to really describe how awful this movie is." Reviewer BandSAboutMovies writes, "Alien Love is kind of confounding." And reviewer Film Blitz, comparing Alien Love to similar movies, writes, "This just can’t compete."

Read on for the truth, if not about alien visitations, about Alien Love...

"Nothing Stabbed Her, and No One Either" - Believe Me or Not (2024)

Here at Senseless Cinema we have been a bit remiss in highlighting modern classics, so it is obviously time to review Believe Me or Not (2024), a new film about high school students dealing with the important issues of our day (i.e., a murderous haunted doll).

Because the film is so recent, I have found no mistaken negative reviews of Believe Me or Not. Therefore, please read the following appreciation of this classic film before your views are biased by unreliable "critics"...

"I Was Just Really Angry About Being Blind, You Know?" - Invisible Enemies (1997)

Having just considered the theologically sophisticated After School (1988), it is time to look at a later film that is just as sophisticated and entertaining as that classic. Of course, I am speaking of Invisible Enemies (1997), a short film that explores in great detail the Protestant point of view while borrowing some plot elements from John Carpenter's They Live (1988), namely a pair of glasses that allows the viewer to see the invisible world that exists around them.

Some of your universe's critics are unkind to the deep exploration of theological debate. For example, reviewer Armin_Nikkhah_Shirazi writes, "the script is hilariously inept, even if we set the religious stuff aside. The constant interruption of the flashbacks by the superfluous father-son exchange breaks the flow, the characters are cardboards, and the emotional climax involves an absurdly contrived situation." And reviewer AvantEmoji calls the film "One of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen."

Read on for the truth about Invisible Enemies...

“Words You Mumble When You Were Too Young to Understand What They Meant” - After School (1988)

It is now time to delve into a relatively obscure film from the 1980s that provides one of the finest discussions of theology in all of cinema history. I am referring, of course, to 1988's After School, directed by William Olsen, maker of philosophical classics like Getting It On (1983) and Rockin' Road Trip (1986).

Some of your universe's film critics are not intellectually or emotionally prepared for the theological depth of After School. For example, reviewer denisef5000 dismisses the film as "Just a dud overall."  Reviewer mark.waltz writes, "I'd refer to it as the biggest disaster of 1988, but that's far too much of a compliment." And reviewer Groverdox writes (boldly ending their sentence with a preposition), "This is one of the most perplexing filmmaking decisions I have ever witnessed the result of."

Read on for an appreciation of the monumental depth of William Olsen's After School...

“I’ll Rip You into a Thousand Odds and Ends!” - Massage Parlor Murders! (1973)

Let us now return to the 1970s and explore the classic protoslasher Massage Parlor Murders! (1973). (As everybody knows, any movie with an exclamation point in its title is an instant classic.) 

Some of your universe's critics are, habitually, wrong about this film. For example, reviewer damianphelps writes, "This is a complete time waster." Reviewer capkronos calls the film "one big, colossal bore with an aimless and meandering plot, endless filler, padded scenes, lethargic pacing, a mostly dull cast, a sleep-inducing light jazz score akin to what you'd hear in a waiting room." And reviewer lotekguy-1 writes about the acting, "performances below the bar even for the era and genre."

Read on for a more balanced exploration of Massage Parlor Murders!...

“The Wrong Kind of Fairy Tales” - Las Vegas Strangler (1968)

Also known as No Tears for the Damned, Las Vegas Strangler (1968) is an energetic protoslasher full of female nudity and bleak psychological self-hatred.

Some of your universe's critics fail to appreciate such a complex, innovative film. For example, reviewer paul_haakonsen writes that "it is definitely not a movie that will ever grace my screen a second time." Reviewer finercreative writes "Overall, it is of bad quality." And reviewer oldsvovo writes, "Yes the plot is wonky...acting transparent...dialouge [sic] could be snappier."

Read on for a more nuanced appreciation of Las Vegas Strangler...