Monday, May 22, 2023

"This Murderous Pack of Scumbags" - Fright House (1989)

We have unfairly neglected the body of work of noted director Len Anthony, but it is time to make up for that oversight by considering part of his masterpiece Fright House (1989), starring the great Al Lewis. We will only be considering the first part of this two-part anthology film, which is called Fright House, which is also the title of the overarching film.

As usual, some of your universe's critics unfairly malign Fright House. For example, critic Zantara Xenophobe writes, "This whole story is both tired and stupid, and I think they were writing this as they went along." Reviewer blurnieghey writes, "This is low budget trash at its worst." And reviewer BA_Harrison writes, "I was totally lost not long after it began thanks to the sloppy direction, terrible writing and crap acting."

Read on for a more balanced appreciation of Fright House...

Monday, May 8, 2023

"He's More Than Dead. He's Ancient." - Last Chance (1995) aka Ghost Gunfighter aka High Tomb

Last Chance (1995) is a relatively obscure Western-themed supernatural slasher film perhaps best known for starring Jeff Burr, famed director specializing in sequels such as Stepfather II (1989), Pumpkinhead II (1993), and Leatherface (1990).

Unlike most films reviewed at Senseless Cinema, Last Chance is generally unknown to your universe's critics. Therefore, I will not gift you with clueless reviews of this modern classic. Instead, please read on for my appreciation of the frightening Western slasher film Last Chance...

Monday, April 24, 2023

"One Fat Zero" - Project Nightmare (1987)

It is time to examine the unfortunately obscure science fiction classic Project Nightmare (1987), a blend of 
psychedelic mind-tripping and, of course, 1960s Star Trek. (The film has nothing to do with Robert A. Heinlein's 1953 story "Project Nightmare.")

Predictably for a film about the nature of reality itself, some of your universe's critics have been unkind to this film. For example, reviewer carlos-pires writes, "It warrants watching just because it is the silliest, weirdest, worst movie ever." Reviewer Brennan Dortch Cornelius Thunderbolt writes, "it’s all unequivocally weird and unashamedly dull." And reviewer Paul Senior calls the film "painful to watch. Generally nonsensical, ugly and boring."

Read on for a more nuanced appreciation of Project Nightmare...

Monday, April 10, 2023

“Could She Be a Puppet of the Witchcraft?” - The Last Inn (2021)

The term "modern classic" is thrown around left and right, but it only rarely applies to contemporary films. A few exceptions of actual modern classics include Andrew Getty's The Evil Within (2017), Glenn Danzig's Verotika (2019), and the film we are discussing today, David Kuan's The Last Inn (2021), a film with such intriguing visuals, stunning performances, and unique dialogue that only the term "modern classic" can describe it.

Some of your universe's critics might disagree. For example, reviewer rotini-52586 writes eloquently, "What a herundous movie. Rated this a 1...because there is no zero." (I believe the word Mr. or Ms. 52586 is searching for is "horrendous," and I also believe there is, in fact, a zero.) Reviewer heratyplant writes, "Every single scene & every word spoken is wrong or off, so to critique this properly would take all day, suffice it to say this should be on Red Letter Media's Best of the Worst, they'd love it!" And reviewer paul_haakonsen writes, "In fact, you are in for 1 hour and 37 minutes of toe-curling narrative with acting performances as wooden as ventriloquist dummies, and dialogue to match."

In point of fact, The Last Inn deserves to be seen as widely as possible. It is a unique and special film. Please read on for my appreciation...

Monday, March 20, 2023

"It's All Gone Crazy" - Alien Species (1996)


It is time to return to the realm of science fiction with Alien Species (1996), an ambitious regional film featuring sophisticated special effects and terrifying alien creatures from prolific low-budget director Peter Maris.

Shockingly, some of your universe's critics are oblivious to the film's high quality. For example, reviewer blairman-3 writes, "It's just plain bad. What a terribly hacky piece of crap!" Reviewer nelsonramatos writes, "This is an unbelievable awful movie, with absolutely no sense or logic. I was even ashame of seeing it." (This critic should be ashamed, instead, of reviewing it.) And reviewer planktonrules writes, "In many ways, this is like a modern day Ed Wood production....The overall viewing experience is something you just have to see to believe, as it's bad in every possible way."

It goes without saying these reviewers are incorrect. Read on for an appreciation of Peter Maris's Alien Species...

Monday, March 6, 2023

"Why All the Killing?" - Endgame (1983)

It is time to venture into the apocalypse again with Joe D'Amato's Endgame (1983) aka Bronx Lotta Finale (Bronx Final Fight). This ingenious film marries a The Road Warrior-style road trip with a futuristic, televised The Most Dangerous Game-style sport, to great effect.

Some of your universe's critics disagree, of course. For example, reviewer Quicksilverkid calls the film the worst movie ever and writes, "Avoid this movie at all costs." Reviewer BA_Harrison calls the film "an instantly forgettable and relatively worthless experience." And reviewer poolandrews calls the film "Total rubbish."

Read on for the truth about the post-apocalyptic masterpiece Endgame...

Monday, February 20, 2023

"The Whole Event of this Scene Is to Show Some Skin" - Destroyer (1988)

We return to the 1980s to discuss Robert Kirk's Destroyer (1988), one of the late-eighties wave of prison-set slasher films that also includes Renny Harlin's Prison (1987), Wes Craven's Shocker (1989), and James Isaac's The Horror Show (1989) aka House III. 

As usual, some of your universe's critics fail to appreciate Destroyer. For example, reviewer quadbastard writes, "The pace can be quite lethargic at times, and the film is somewhat overlong, and seemingly doesn't know when to quit." Reviewer tarbosh22000 writes, "the writing and structure of the movie were slow, bleak, and not up to par." And reviewer FieCrier writes simply, "I can't recommend this movie at all."

Of course, these reviewers are incorrect. Read on for a more nuanced appreciation of a gem of a slasher film...

Tuesday, February 7, 2023

“The World Is Full of Georges” - Legacy of Satan (1974) - Film #244

The decade of the 1970s was no stranger to cinematic classics; at the forefront of classics is the film we shall discuss today, Legacy of Satan (1974), perhaps the only non-pornographic film directed by Gerard Damiano.

Not all of your universe's critics are enchanted by Legacy of Satan, however. For example, reviewer babeulous writes, "The vampire wears a 1970s pink ruffled shirt and everybody has 1970s hair." (There is no vampire in the film, of course, and the film was made in the middle of the 1970s, so it is difficult to take this respected critic's insults seriously.) Reviewer mark.waltz writes, "Hideous and unwatchable in every way." And reviewer Leofwine_drac writes that Legacy of Satan is "a film which is difficult to sit through because it feels so tame, drawn-out, and dull."

Read on for an appreciation that counters these ridiculously unfounded aspersions...

Monday, January 23, 2023

"Haven't You Ever Guessed the Truth?" - The Silent Scream (1979) - Film #243

Let us now visit the California coast in The Silent Scream (1979), an early slasher that arguably could be considered a proto-slasher due to the fact it began filming in 1977, before Halloween, though the finished version was rewritten and completed after Halloween's record-breaking box office success.

Some of your universe's critics do not appreciate the groundbreaking The Silent Scream. For example, reviewer donnyblvu writes, "I recommend this movie to your buddies whom you don't like. I mean that the person that you really want to waist [sic] 2 hrs of his/her time. This movie sucked so bad that I had nightmares..." Reviewer thesar-2 writes, "The movie's boring. Really. It contains odd characters as well as stereotypical (of 1980) characters, none of which are interesting." And reviewer Maciste-Brother writes, "SILENT SCREAM ain't much of a movie."

You must read on for the true story of The Silent Scream...

Monday, January 9, 2023

“I Could Probably Take First Prize in Any Evil Contest” - Mardi Gras Massacre (1978) - Film #242

Although this review is being posted soon after the New Year holiday, we will be discussing a film about another holiday marked by exuberant celebration. The film is the video nasty Mardi Gras Massacre (1978), directed by Jack Weis, most famous as location coordinator on the New Orleans-set James Bond film Live and Let Die (1973), but nearly as well known as director of Louisiana-set exploitation films such as Death Brings Roses (1975) and Crypt of Dark Secrets (1976).

As usual, many of your universe's critics have negative opinions of Mardi Gras Massacre. For example, reviewer skanners writes, "The acting is woeful and the sound, editing and directing are nothing short of abysmal." Reviewer skullrot1 writes, "This is one of the few movies that left me completely unsatisfied in every way." And reviewer andrewmford writes, with perhaps some hyperbole, "Avoid this movie like the plague on humanity that it is. All copies of this movie should be gathered and destroyed, so that no one else should have to suffer though this assault on art of filmmaking."

Read on for the truth about Mardi Gras Massacre...

Monday, November 7, 2022

"Even the Squirrels Are Scarce" - Invasion from Inner Earth (1974) - Film #241

We must again turn to the works of Wisconsin's Bill Rebane to discuss Invasion from Inner Earth (1974) aka They, another of the master's minimalist science fiction films. Like Mr. Rebane's later The Alpha Incident (1977), Invasion from Inner Earth is a tense exploration of a small group of isolated characters.

Some of your universe's critics fail to appreciate Mr. Rebane's work. For example, reviewer uljf writes, "Every cliche in the book is used, and the low budget assures terrible special effects. Bad all around." Reviewer Patchbunny writes, "The movie is a slogging morass of nonacting that has no real plot, coherence, or semblance of intelligence." And reviewer udar55 writes, "Even if this has a germ of a good idea, the execution is so terrible that nothing can be forgiven."

Of course, these reviewers do not understand the wonders of minimalist filmmaking. Read on for a true appreciation of Invasion from Inner Earth...