Greetings! You may call me Doctor Pseudonymous. Because that is my name. Too often have I heard some horror and fantasy movies described as so strange they must be from another universe. Indeed, they are from another universe! I have perfected a way to travel from my universe, designated Universe-Prime, to your strange and primitive Universe-X to set you straight about these movies. Prepare to reconsider your senseless views on cinema.
Monday, January 28, 2019
“Only the Devil Would Move the Rocks in Hell” - Ghosts That Still Walk (1977)
I recently found out that the 1977 film Ghosts That Still Walk is not talked about constantly in your universe. I am determined to correct the situation through the method of a detailed review.
Not only is the film not discussed constantly, but also some critics in your universe do not even recognize its merits. For example, HumanoidOfFlesh writes, "'Ghosts That Still Walk' looks cheap and is full of dull sequences." Reviewer roddmatsui writes, "This is actually REALLY BORING, overall, and it will make you fall asleep the first couple of times you try to watch it. But if you keep at it, you may just make it to the end." And reviewer SleepKills believes "the acting in the film isn't all that great and the film sometimes seems to get a little bit boring."
Nonsense! Read on for the truth about the haunting pseudo-anthology film Ghosts That Still Walk...
Monday, January 21, 2019
“The Dingos Have Chewed Her Face Off” - Incident at Raven's Gate (1988)
We have not discussed many Australian classics at Senseless Cinema (excepting the classic Turkey Shoot), so we will address that oversight by exploring the supernatural (possibly) thriller (possibly) Incident at Raven's Gate (1988).
While some of your universe's critics appreciate this science fiction (possibly) film, others are more dismissive, such as reviewer merklekranz who writes, "The movie is something about water shortages, growing plants, demonic possession, strange electrical charges, the sky raining dead birds, unexplained animal attacks, and makes little sense." Reviewer leofwine_draca writes, "The story is disjointed and surreal....The cast aren't really very good and don't have time to do much other than stand around and interact with the bizarre events. It's very weird and not very satisfying." And reviewer andyetris writes, "Things happen, something else happens, the action shifts... The film eventually ends..." I must admit that andyetris is correct about one thing: The film does eventually end. He or she is incorrect about almost everything else, however, so let us look in more detail at Incident at Raven's Gate...
Monday, January 14, 2019
“This Is a Nice Town, With Okay People” - Necromancy (1972)
I must admit to an oversight here on Senseless Cinema, and that oversight is the lack of coverage of the truly excellent cinematic work of the famous director Bert I. Gordon. The oversight will now be corrected with a discussion of one of his finest works, 1972's Necromancy (aka The Witching), starring Orson Welles.
As usual, not all of your universe's critics recognize the quality of Mr. Gordon's masterwork. For example, cfc_can writes that the director "seems to be deliberately trying to confuse the audience by using flashbacks and dream sequences." Reviewer lucyskydiamonds writes, "This movie is so inherently awful it's difficult to know what to criticise first." And reviewer BaronBl00d writes, "This is not a good movie in any way under any name." Needless to say, these three reviewers and countless others are misguided and incorrect, so let us proceed on a tour of the cinematic wonders of Bert I. Gordon's Necromancy...
Monday, January 7, 2019
"I Can't Go a Month Without a Ghost" - Knocking on Death's Door (1999)
Let us turn our attention to the 1990s again and look at a lost masterpiece from close to the turn of the century, 1999's Knocking on Death's Door from Roger Corman's New Concorde Pictures, a classic modern ghost story.
Of course, not all of your universe's critics appreciate the film. One reviewer, Ultra-violence1, says the film is "By far one of the most boring horror movies in history." As the saying goes, however, history is a long time, and I must disagree with Ultra_violence1's assessment. Read on for more details about Knocking on Death's Door...
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