Monday, May 18, 2020

"'Why' Is the Most Overused Word in the English Language" - Graveyard Story (1991) - Film #178

Why don't we take this time to examine in great detail 1991's Graveyard Story, another Canadian film from the director of Beyond the Seventh Door, Bozidar D. Benedikt. While this film does not feature the cheekbones or hair of Mr. Lazar Rockwood, it does feature Mr. John Ireland.

Some of your universe's critics obviously misunderstand the works of Bozidar D. Benedikt's. For example, reviewer linseylockley writes, "The acting was like watching Middle School children in a poorly-directed play. The dialogue, also, was horribly written." Reviewer triso writes with some unwarranted bigotry, "This is a typical bad Canadian movie. There are no thrills, no chills and no spills." (This is inaccurate. I counted at least three spills.) And reviewer Leofwine_draca writes, "THE GRAVEYARD STORY turns into a standard kidnap thriller with some very bad acting from the supporting cast, particularly the woeful actors playing the gangsters."

How could these critics be so wrong? Please read on...

Monday, May 11, 2020

“The Time Has Come for Your Real Problems” - Beyond the Seventh Door (1987) - Film #177

Although 1987's Beyond the Seventh Door is for all intents and purposes a video game movie, it is surprisingly not based on a video game. The film was shot in Canada and shot on video (two qualities that of course contribute to its classic status) to showcase the talents of the semi-prolific Serbian actor Lazar Rockwood...and showcase them it does.

Unfortunately, some of your universe's critics are ill-informed enough to find fault with Beyond the Seventh Door. Reviewer deheor writes, "This is a truly awful movie that people should watch once simply to have a basis for comparison the next time someone complains about a bad film. No matter what movie is bothering them you can step up and say 'you don't know what crap is until you endure beyond the 7th door'." Reviewer leofwine_draca writes, "And it's fair to say that this is an inept film throughout, with direction that's even worse than the acting." And reviewer danreguly writes, "one has to wonder how and/or why his oh-so-obvious butchery of acting occurred?"

Please read on, if only for the sake of Canada and shot-on-video films...