"You Scrambled the Wrong Egg" - Low Blow (1986) - Film #222

We do not discuss action films much here at Senseless Cinema, so we should remedy that by reviewing Low Blow (1986), starring Cameron Mitchell, Troy Donahue, and of course action hero legend Leo Fong. 

Some of your universe's respected critics are misguided about Low Blow. Reviewer dougriley, for example, writes (with at least a touch of hyperbole, I hope), "Having watched over 5000 movies in my lifetime, I can truly say this is by far the worst movie I have ever seen." Reviewer bzparkes-1 writes, "This movie is shocking. The acting is truly abominable and the attempts at humour really are pathetic." And reviewer Leofwine_draca writes, "An execrable film, so poor that I can't even classify it as an "action" movie."

Read on for an objective review of Leo Fong's action vehicle Low Blow...

"Dreadful Actors, Don't You Agree?" - Panic (1983) aka Bakterion - Film #221

Italian-Spanish co-productions filmed in Great Britain are some of the finest films world cinema has to offer, and Panic (1983), also known as Bakterion, is no exception. Italian director Tonino Ricci creates a memorable monster movie set in the sewers beneath what is either a city full of skyscrapers or a quiet suburb, or perhaps both.

For example, reviewer Hellraiser-1 writes, "It was just terribly boring." Reviewer wes-connors writes, "'Bakterion' (or 'Panic') is simply not a competent film." And reviewer strong-122-478885 writes, "strictly bottom-of-the-barrel stuff and that rendered Panic simply worthless as viable entertainment."

Read on for the truth about Panic...

“Yeah, Cash Flagg. All right.” - Las Vegas Serial Killer (1986) - Film #220

Eventually, all classics must receive sequels, and Ray Dennis Steckler's The Hollywood Strangler Meets the Skid Row Slasher (1980) is no exception. The Las Vegas Serial Killer--which asks what would happen if the Hollywood Strangler did not die at the end of the previous film, instead going to prison and moving to Las Vegas--was released six years after the original classic and expanded upon the significant mythology of serial killers walking around desolate urban locales.

Of course, some of your universe's critics misunderstand the sequel as blatantly as they misunderstood the original. For example, reviewer jamestkelly-93266 writes, "It maybe the worst thing I have ever watched."  Reviewer Sandcooler writes, "'Las Vegas Serial Killer' is the cinematic equivalent of elevator music. You barely notice its presence, but at the same time it's intensely irritating." And reviewer Woodyanders describes the film as "a meandering narrative that unfolds at a sluggish pace, dreadful post-sync sound, ineptly staged murder set pieces."

Read on for the truth about Ray Dennis Steckler's Las Vegas Serial Killer...