Monday, November 29, 2021

"You Have Some Degree of Choice Whether to Show Your Boobs or Not" - Bloody Murder 2: Closing Camp (2003) - Film #218

With the massive artistic and commercial success of Bloody Murder (2000), Hollywood had no choice but to develop a sequel, and Bloody Murder 2: Closing Camp (2003) might be an even better film than its predecessor. It is certainly a different film, eschewing the flat photography and minimal violence of Bloody Murder in favor of aggressive camera angles, murder scenes that focus on murder, and an extraordinary number of crop tops.

If we were to listen to the critics of your universe, we might skip Bloody Murder 2 altogether. For example, reviewer drownnnsoda writes, "The acting, for one, was still very poor. It felt like I was watching a soap opera (just as I felt during the original), and it was beyond unbelievable." Reviewer zombified_660 writes, "Bottom line is, this movie is total utter trash." And reviewer jmbo-jons writes, "Do not go through the trouble of getting or watching this movie unless you want to fall asleep like i did."

Read on for an unbiased appreciation of Bloody Murder 2: Closing Camp...

Monday, November 15, 2021

“Misery Comes in Lots of Different Forms. It’s All Miserable.” - Bloody Murder (2000) - Film #217

Connoisseurs of the summer camp slasher film were in for a treat in 2000, approximately 20 years after the heyday of that illustrious subgenre, when Bloody Murder was released to an indeterminate amount of fanfare.  

Reviewer cindy24_3 writes fashionably, " It was a waste of 4 bucks!! And to beat it all, the murderer wasn't even dressed like a real murderer. His outfit was too clean!! DON'T rent this movie!!!! Waste of your money!!" Reviewer Zantara Xenophobe writes helpfully, "My advice to anyone stupid enough to see this movie would be to give yourself extra time to watch it. You'll need it for the numerous times you have to stop the movie to beat your head against the wall." And reviewer gila_film writes incoherently, "Bloody Murder is definetely a so-called slasher movie. This movie is accurately below-average that makes it so underrated. There's no gore, scare, decent twist or blood."

Read on for the truth about Bloody Murder...

Monday, November 1, 2021

“You Know, That Occult Stuff” - Family Reunion (1989) - Film #216

Let's look at an under discussed supernatural horror film directed by the writer of One Dark Night (1982), the Christmas-set Family Reunion (1989), featuring a rare leading-man performance by the intense Mel Novak, best known for his roles as action movie villains.

Not all of your universe's critics appreciate Family Reunion, unfortunately. For example, prolific reviewer Leofwine_draca writes extensively, "It's all very convoluted and underwritten, with poorly-defined characters and a general lack of interesting performers to do justice in their roles. The pacing is all off too, which means this just sort of dawdles along aimlessly until the final twist at the climax. I found it a chore." Reviewer poolandrews writes lukewarmly, "Family Reunion is average at best, it was too long & just a bit too dull for it to do anything for me I'm afraid." And reviewer twisted_sista writes cryptically, "The fx arent up to scratch either. There are scenes in the film that drag a little so if your not the one with patience dont bother with this!"

Read on to experience the Christmastime wonders of Family Reunion...