“I Wish We Could All Pick the Way We Die” - Deep Blood (1990) - Film #228

It would be hard, of course, for filmmakers to exceed the quality of Bruno Mattei's later-period shark masterpiece Cruel Jaws (1995), but one precursor, Rafael Donato and Joe D'Amato's Deep Blood (1990), should be considered in the running for the prize.

Some of your universe's famous critics would disagree, sadly. For example, reviewer dogcow writes hyperbolically, "This is the worst italian movie ever, quite possibly the worst movie of all time!" Reviewer  the_wolf_imdb writes longwindedly, "This movie is crappy beyond any limits. It's incredible - a very bad ripoff from Jaws and other (better) shark movies. A really bad one - everything is really pathetic." And reviewer teebear817 writes, "A convaluted storyline that was brutal to watch. It dragged on and on and on."

Read on for the truth about Deep Blood...

"You Hated the Plastics and I Didn't" - The Aftermath (1982) - Film #227

There are many underappreciated film genres, and one of the most underappreciated is the middle-aged action here genre, which of course includes Low Blow (1986), reviewed here recently. Another classic of this genre, perhaps equal to Low Blow in excitement, and certainly surpassing it in terms of ambition, is actor/writer/director Steve Barkett's post-apocalyptic thriller The Aftermath (1982).

Of course, some of the revered critics of your universe misunderstand The Aftermath. Reviewer mhorg2018 writes, "It's a terrible little movie full of bad acting and has a contrived plot." Reviewer lordzedd-1 writes, "Saying this thing sucks is an understatement." And reviewer Terry-23 writes, "If you pick this up to watch a serious movie about life after a nuclear war, you'll give up on this in about 5 minutes." Of course, Terry-23 is entirely incorrect, as The Aftermath is the most realistic and educational post-apocalyptic film ever made. Please continue to read the truth...