Monday, August 26, 2019

"The Hate of a Woman Can Be Very Bad" - Delirium (1987) - Film #149


It is time to return to the Italian giallo film (aka jello film) with Lamberto Bava's nudity-filled classic Delirium (1987), aka The Photo of Gioia.

Even though the film was directed by the acknowledged master Lamberto Bava (refer to Graveyard Disturbance, also 1987), critics in your universe are bafflingly unreceptive to the charms of Delirium. Reviewer plan9-149-959814 (whose name flows beautifully off the tongue) writes, "Maybe it was titillating back the pre-internet 80s, but by today's standards it's nothing special whatsoever." Reviewer lightcaster1 writes (under the headline "Worst Bava film ever!!!!"), "It is as terrible as it could be." (Utter nonsense!) And reviewer VincentElgar writes blasphemously, "Things are not helped by a truly appalling synth-based score by Simon Bosworth and some ludicrous makeup effects."

Let us dive into the film in more detail...

Monday, August 19, 2019

“You’ve Seen All Kinds of Dead Deer Before” - Bloodbeat (1981) - Film #148


As everyone knows, Wisconsin has always been a major center of film production that has produced a high proportion of classic films--and that is true just based on the output of Bill Rebane alone. Let us now look at the horror film Bloodbeat (1981) aka Blood Beat, directed by Fabrice Zaphiratos.

Oddly, even some of your universe's critics are immune to the charms of rural Wisconsin. Reviewer lthseldy1 writes, "I found this movie to be one of the most boring slow paced early 80's movies that I have ever seen." Reviewer BA_Harrison writes, "I haven't the faintest idea what writer/director Fabrice A. Zaphiratos was thinking when he made this oddball horror-very little about the film makes sense-and the result is definitely one of the strangest films of the '80s." And reviewer ThyDavideth writes, "The filmmakers should of laid off the crack, heroine, meth, angel dust, acid, horse tranquilizers and so forth while making this movie."

Read on for the truth about Bloodbeat, which amply maintains the quality level for which Wisconsin filmmaking is justly renowned...

Monday, August 12, 2019

"Third-Rate Actors Go Real Far in Politics" - Mindkiller (1987) - Film #147


It is time to assess Denver-based director Michael Kruger's Mindkiller (1987).

Reviewer FieCrier writes, "The movie is pretty uneventful until towards the end when the effects of the manuscript have really taken hold. It's not worth watching." Reviewer leofwine_draca writes, "Yep, this is another mindless (see what I did there?) time-waster, full of lamentable performances, a cheesy sex scene, and some amusing prosthetic gore effects." And reviewer Tikkin writes that the film is "even more boring than some of the worst 80's horror flicks!"

Please read on...

Monday, August 5, 2019

“Stampeded by Rubbernecks and Souvenir Hunters” - Giant from the Unknown (1958) - Film #146


At Senseless Cinema, we rarely examine films from before the mid to late 1960s (because, apparently, all movies before 1960 are either acknowledged classics or worthless). Let us delve back into those early days of cinema to discuss Richard E. Cunha's Giant from the Unknown (1958), in which a towering giant who is well over 6 feet tall comes back from the dead to inconvenience the residents of a small mountain town.

As always, some critics are shockingly unimpressed by Giant from the Unknown. Reviewer shugaron316 writes, "This is one of the most dreadfully bad of the 50's B flicks." Reviewer khunkrumark writes, "From the stolid (not in a good way) direction and the hackneyed script, to the multiple narrative failures of the plot, there must have been better ways for Astor Pictures to squander the $50,000 budget that was set aside for this turkey, right?" And reviewer Michael_Elliott writes confusingly, "The look of the monster really didn't impress me either nor did his little outfit." (Spoiler: His outfit is not little.)

Read on for a true picture of this misunderstood giant...