“No More Functional Architecture, Thank You” - Pyro, the Thing without a Face (1964)

It is time to visit the beautiful nation of Spain and encounter one of the most terrifying monsters in cinema history, Pyro, the Thing without a Face (1964). Before the film is over, we will have looked upon his face, which is as terrifying, but not as nonexistent, as the title implies.

Some of your universe's revered critics are not big fans of Pyro, the Thing without a Face. For example, reviewer richardtilley-76559 writes, "It's all pretty pointless, takes itself far too seriously and just affirms the saying 'if you play with fire, you'll get burned'." Reviewer leofwine_draca writes, "It's also a derivative work which reminded me of HOUSE OF WAX and HORROR OF THE BLACK MUSEUM in places although it doesn't have much of the impact of either of those two classic horror flicks." And reviewer lee-96696 writes, "The narrative can be disjointed, the pacing uneven, and the "Thing Without a Face" itself might elicit more chuckles than chills for modern audiences."

Read on for the truth about Pyro, the Thing without a Face...

“The Young People, Underneath All That Hair and Revolt” - Octaman (1971)

The classic monster movie Octaman (1971) needs no introduction but I will endeavor to introduce it anyway. Harry Essex--famous for writing classics such as Man Made Monster (1941), It Came from Outer Space (1953), and Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954), and less famous for directing a 3D version of Mickey Spillane's I, the Jury (1953)--created a new monster when he wrote and directed Octaman in the early 1970s, giving legendary makeup artist Rick Baker his first film job. The film stands up as a genre classic made at a time when monster movies were considered old-fashioned.

Of course, your universe's critics do not understand the brilliance of Octaman. For example, reviewer poe426 writes, "on a scale of one to ten, with ten being excellent, OCTAMAN would barely qualify as a one (awful)." Reviewer irvingc writes, "This is schlocky entertainment at its worst and seems to break just about every law of nature I've come to understand." And reviewer Freethinker_Atheist writes, "Easily one of the worst movies ever made."

Read on for a more realistic appreciation of Octaman...