"And Your Perspective on Adolf Hitler...Interesting" - Heartland of Darkness (1992)

Let us voyage to the wilds of Ohio to explore the complex and recently rediscovered Satanist film Heartland of Darkness (1992) aka Blood Church aka Fallen Angels. 

Of course, some of your universe's critics have tepid feelings about Heartland of Darkness. For example, reviewer El_Bustin writes, "Who would have thought that a satanic panic movie could be sooo boring." Reviewer D Edward writes, "It lacks the mystery to warrant so much lollygagging about." And reviewer hiruko writes, "I couldn’t figure out of this movie is just plain bad or a self aware goof."

Read on for a more nuanced appreciation of Heartland of Darkness...

"This Is a Super Van!" - Blood Song (1982)

While various musical stars have turned in excellent performances in slasher films (in particular, Tiny Tim in Blood Harvest and Mickey Dolenz in The Night of the Strangler), one might say the finest of these performances was gifted to the world by Frankie Avalon in Blood Song (1982). Let us look in detail at Blood Song, one of the few theatrical films directed by prolific TV director Alan J. Levi.

Of course, some of your universe's critics are unnecessarily unkind to Blood Song. For example, reviewer Aaron1375 writes, "Just not all that entertaining." Reviewer Leofwine_draca calls the film "a cheesy, low budget slasher film of the early 1980s." And reviewer ceejayred writes, "BLOOD SONG is an average thriller at best."

Read on to find out why Blood Song is most definitely not an "average thriller at best"...

“Why Don’t You Go Hide Your Salami Yourself?” - Death by Dialogue (1988)

Let us now return to the works of producer Joseph Merhi as we explore his 1988 mind-warping masterpiece Death by Dialogue, a film about a cursed screenplay that alters reality itself.

Some of your universe's critics, unfortunately, do not hail Death by Dialogue as the masterpiece it clearly is. For example,  reviewer dead_dudeINthehouse (almost certainly a nom de plume) writes, "I won't even talk about the storyline as it's very BORING -not to say stupid." Reviewer insomniac_rod (possibly a nom de plume?) writes, "Please, stay away from this trash and don't get fooled by the cover art or the premise, which is as dumb as you can get." And reviewer sfhjsth802 (clearly not a nom de plume) writes, "If I were to get technical, this is an awful movie, easily one of the worst ever made."

Read on for the truth about Death by Dialogue...

“I Forgot Today Was Your Night for Rounds” - Demented (1980)

It is time to discuss Demented (1980), a prototypical rape-revenge film that features what might be the most spectacularly powerful performance of all time by Sallee Elyse (aka Sallee Young) and written by actor/writer Alex Rebar.

As usual, some of your universe's critics fail to appreciate Demented. For example, reviewer alicespiral writes (under the clever but inaccurate review title "Gives bad movies a bad name"), "I only made it to the end because I was curious to how much worse it could get." Reviewer ofumalow writes, "This is one of those movies that's so bad it's just bad--too plodding, amateurish, gore-free etc." And reviewer jivinmutt writes dismissively, "This 'movie' is absurd, horrible, et al."

Read on for a more accurate description of Demented...

"This Will Make You Relax. Now Just Relax." - Love Me Deadly (1973)

It is time to explore one of the most sensitive and still taboo-bursting films of the 1970's: Love Me Deadly (1973), a film full of necrophilia, male nudity, and, of course, Lyle Waggoner.

Some of your universe's critics fail to recognize the importance of Love Me Deadly. For example, reviewer lobianco writes, "A total disaster of a film you can't even laugh at." Reviewer eddie-96492 writes, "Beware - this movie sucks! Bored me to death." And reviewer merklekranz writes, "Even uncut and uncensored, this is a real yawn fest."

Read on for a fuller appreciation of 1973's Love Me Deadly...

"Too Many Male Hormones" - Fatal Games (1984)

Fatal Games (1984) is a fine example of the mid-eighties slasher film, employing the clever hook of being set at an athletics academy where fit young people compete to prepare for the Olympics. In the tradition of Graduation Day (1981), the killer uses athletic equipment to commit murder, though the killer in Fatal Games is more limited than the killer in the other film, using only a javelin.

Some reviewers are somewhat uninterested in the quality of Fatal Games. For example, reviewer Phroggy writes, "Good if you want some noise in the background and raises your eyes when you hear a scream. Otherwise, skip it." Reviewer thesar-2 writes, "The movie was extremely hard to watch." And reviewer blurnieghey writes, "The death scenes were lack-luster and cheap."

Read on for the truth about Fatal Games...

“You Didn’t Believe That Old Lady’s Story About a Legend, Did You?” - Satan's Blade (1984)

The pool of classic regional slashers and porto-slashers is seemingly bottomless. Today we look at Satan's Blade (1984), a California-shot slasher film with (possibly) supernatural overtones filmed in the beautiful snow-covered San Bernardino National Forest.

Predictably, many of your universe's critics do not understand even so simple a film as Satan's Blade. For example, reviewer Logan-22 writes, "This movie stinks. Everything about it is substandard from the acting to the script to the special effects." Reviewer fnv790 writes derogatorily and clearly incorrectly, "It appears to be the most low budget film ever produced." And reviewer rooee writes, "Welcome to the longest 80 minutes of your life."

Read on for the truth about Satan's Blade...

"This Murderous Pack of Scumbags" - Fright House (1989)

We have unfairly neglected the body of work of noted director Len Anthony, but it is time to make up for that oversight by considering part of his masterpiece Fright House (1989), starring the great Al Lewis. We will only be considering the first part of this two-part anthology film, which is called Fright House, which is also the title of the overarching film.

As usual, some of your universe's critics unfairly malign Fright House. For example, critic Zantara Xenophobe writes, "This whole story is both tired and stupid, and I think they were writing this as they went along." Reviewer blurnieghey writes, "This is low budget trash at its worst." And reviewer BA_Harrison writes, "I was totally lost not long after it began thanks to the sloppy direction, terrible writing and crap acting."

Read on for a more balanced appreciation of Fright House...

"He's More Than Dead. He's Ancient." - Last Chance (1995) aka Ghost Gunfighter aka High Tomb

Last Chance (1995) is a relatively obscure Western-themed supernatural slasher film perhaps best known for starring Jeff Burr, famed director specializing in sequels such as Stepfather II (1989), Pumpkinhead II (1993), and Leatherface (1990).

Unlike most films reviewed at Senseless Cinema, Last Chance is generally unknown to your universe's critics. Therefore, I will not gift you with clueless reviews of this modern classic. Instead, please read on for my appreciation of the frightening Western slasher film Last Chance...

"One Fat Zero" - Project Nightmare (1987)

 

It is time to examine the unfortunately obscure science fiction classic Project Nightmare (1987), a blend of 

psychedelic mind-tripping and, of course, 1960s Star Trek. (The film has nothing to do with Robert A. Heinlein's 1953 story "Project Nightmare.")

Predictably for a film about the nature of reality itself, some of your universe's critics have been unkind to this film. For example, reviewer carlos-pires writes, "It warrants watching just because it is the silliest, weirdest, worst movie ever." Reviewer Brennan Dortch Cornelius Thunderbolt writes, "it’s all unequivocally weird and unashamedly dull." And reviewer Paul Senior calls the film "painful to watch. Generally nonsensical, ugly and boring."

Read on for a more nuanced appreciation of Project Nightmare...

“Could She Be a Puppet of the Witchcraft?” - The Last Inn (2021)

The term "modern classic" is thrown around left and right, but it only rarely applies to contemporary films. A few exceptions of actual modern classics include Andrew Getty's The Evil Within (2017), Glenn Danzig's Verotika (2019), and the film we are discussing today, David Kuan's The Last Inn (2021), a film with such intriguing visuals, stunning performances, and unique dialogue that only the term "modern classic" can describe it.

Some of your universe's critics might disagree. For example, reviewer rotini-52586 writes eloquently, "What a herundous movie. Rated this a 1...because there is no zero." (I believe the word Mr. or Ms. 52586 is searching for is "horrendous," and I also believe there is, in fact, a zero.) Reviewer heratyplant writes, "Every single scene & every word spoken is wrong or off, so to critique this properly would take all day, suffice it to say this should be on Red Letter Media's Best of the Worst, they'd love it!" And reviewer paul_haakonsen writes, "In fact, you are in for 1 hour and 37 minutes of toe-curling narrative with acting performances as wooden as ventriloquist dummies, and dialogue to match."

In point of fact, The Last Inn deserves to be seen as widely as possible. It is a unique and special film. Please read on for my appreciation...