“You’re Forcing Me to Be Disagreeable” - The Witches Mountain (1973)

The Witches Mountain, a brooding horror film with a compelling lack of punctuation in the title, is a 1973 Spanish film set in the picturesque Pyrenees mountains. It hints at the 1970s theme of witchcraft as a feminist release from authority, but it also follows the exploits of a macho, mustachioed, voyeuristic photographer.

Some of your universe's critics are unfair to The Witches Mountain. For example, reviewer preppy-3 calls the film a "VERY slow-moving, incomprehensible and endless movie." Reviewer catfish-er writes, "The film was not effective on any level." And reviewer BaronBl00d writes, "I could watch the film another ten times and still not know more now than I did after the first viewing."

Read on for a fair appreciation of The Witches Mountain...

“You Haven’t Met Big Jack Yet” - Party Line (1988)

Let us turn to another classic erotic thriller, 1988's Party Line starring Leif Garrett and Richard Hatch and released in the wake of other classics such as Jagged Edge and Fatal Attraction.

Some of your universe's critics are unmoved by the quality of Party Line. For example, reviewer anxietyresister writes, “Frankly, this film bored me to tears.” Reviewer mark.waltz writes, "it fails on every level, even as camp." And reviewer Leofwine_draca calls the film "unconvincingly acted by the principal cast members, and directed in the most mundane way imaginable."

Read on for the truth about Party Line...

“There Is No Los Angeles” - In the Year 2889 (1969)

In the Year 2889 (1969) is a science fiction shocker that may or may not be set in the year 2889, directed by auteur Larry Buchanan and named after a Jules Verne story.

Some of your universe's critics are unkind to In the Year 2889. For example, reviewer preppy-3 writes, "The script is just dreadful.... The lines are just stunningly stupid." Reviewer lambiepie-2 calls the film "a great example of crap-crap-crappity-crap-crap-crap." And reviewer mark.waltz writes (admittedly cleverly), "This movie is not red hot with radio activity. It's freezing cold with complete boredom thanks to the most absurd of plot set-ups, hideous acting and absolutely rotten production values."

Read on for a full appreciation of In the Year 2889...

“I Hope You Remember That the Next Time You Get Dressed” - Curfew (1989)

Let us now examine the classic home invasion thriller from 1989, Curfew. Starring Kyle Richards and made by the director of 13 Going on 30 (2004) and Charlotte's Web (2006), this chilling film asks the question "How far will two escaped murderers go to get revenge?" and then, mostly, answers that question.

Of course, some of your universe's critics are lukewarm about this classic. For example, reviewer JohnSeal writes that the film may be seen as "severely wanting in technical proficiency, quality of screenplay, acting, and music." Reviewer HorrorFan1984 calls the film "a very skippable late 80's movie in the horror genre." And reviewer metalrage666 writes, "there are way too many plot holes and moments of mind-numbing stupidity to make this worth watching."

Read on for a more nuanced appreciation of 1989's Curfew...

“They’re Big Men from Tough Town” - Night Fright (1967)

It is time to acknowledge the brilliance of the minimalist monster movie Night Fright (1967), directed by James Sullivan, editor of Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966). Not only is the film a chilling creature feature, it is also a good example of the shifts in values moving from the 1960s toward the 1970s.

Some of your universe's critics are flummoxed by the brilliance of Night Fright. For example, reviewer mark.waltz writes, "Dreadfully boring and beyond recommendation, this combination mutant monster movie and beach party movie without a beach is insipidness at its most absurd." Reviewer rangeriderrango writes, " I wish I could get back the 85 minutes of my life that I wasted watching this crap." And reviewer soulexpress writes, "The writing, acting, and production values are only a smidgen above MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE."

Read on for the truth about Night Fright...

“Me You Too” - Ecstasy on Lover’s Island aka Honeymoon of Terror (1961)

Because we have already discussed Honeymoon of Horror (1964) in great detail, not to mention Honeymoon Horror (1982), it would be a mistake not to treat Honeymoon of Terror (aka Ecstasy on Lover's Island) with the same respect.

Unfortunately, some of your universe's critics fail to respect this film. For example, reviewer HumanoidOfFlesh writes, "Low-budget trash from early 60's with some of the oddest dialogue I have ever heard." Reviewer Lexzilla writes, "I don’t really have anything nice to say about the film." And reviewer RogerRabid writes, "Wow, this dddrrraaagggsss at 60 minutes."

Read on for the truth about Honeymoon of Terror aka Ecstasy on Lover's Island...

“Science Fiction Is Just a Fact of Everyday Life” - Robotropolis (2012)

We now return to our appreciation of science fiction classics with Robotropolis (2012), a film with admirable computer graphics that asks the highly original question "What would happen if robots revolted against humans?"

Of course, some of your universe's critics fail to appreciate Robotropolis. For example, reviewer davidfurlotte writes, "Seriously, did anyone even bother to THINK before they put some of these scenes together?" Reviewer slmcdee writes, humorously but incorrectly, "This movie is absolutely terrible. The best thing about this movie is... gimme a second... well the part where... nope. Okay, there are no good parts to this movie." And reviewer philip4579 writes, "It's predictable. It's anti-climatic. It's poorly thought out. Poorly acted (you know everyone is phoning it in)."

Read on for the truth about Robotropolis...

"Are We Gonna Start This Tribal Crap Again?" - The Chosen One: Legend of the Raven (1998)

When one speaks of classic films, the best of the best, one rarely thinks of superhero films, but today's appreciation covers not just a superhero film but a cynical, erotic superhero film starring Carmen Electra. I speak, of course, of The Chosen One: Legend of the Raven from 1998.

Some of your universe's critics are bizarrely unkind to The Chosen One: Legend of the Raven. Reviewer rayd-2 writes, "Almost impossible to follow, not that there is much follow in the first place. Stilted acting and an idiotic plot. This is just a very poor film." Reviewer Zanatos writes (cleverly but incorrectly), "The producers probably flew over the cuckoo's nest, because this bird-brained "Raven" should be locked in an atrium forever." And reviewer Leofwine_draca writes, "This is truly pitiful stuff with barely any kind of a story to drive it forward."

Read on for a full appreciation of The Chosen One: Legend of the Raven...