“Now Women Are Chasing Everything in a Skirt” - Alien Blood (1999)

Although at Senseless Cinema we generally discuss big blockbuster hit movies, occasionally an obscure movie is just as much a masterpiece as a big hit. Such is the case with Alien Blood (1999), a British film set in the English Lake District featuring aliens, blood, UFOs, and vampires.

Surprisingly, some of your universe's top critics feel Alien Blood is not a masterpiece. Reviewer spike_jonez writes, “This movie simply should not have been made….This movie is one huge plot hole. It's simply bad. Not even the kind of bad you can make fun of.” Reviewer squlknife writes, “All I can say is, don't watch this movie. There isn't a single redeeming quality about it.” And reviewer leofwine_draca writes, “Plenty of effort has gone into the visuals but the plot is real mess and the whole thing soon descends into incoherency.”

Read on for the truth about Alien Blood...

“What Good Is a Beautiful Sensitive with Red Eyes and a Runny Nose?” - The Witchmaker (1969)

 

It is now time to explore an influential and transitionary horror film from 1969, The Witchmaker. This film combines early-60s tastefulness with late-60s nihilism, making for an entertaining experience.

Of course, some of your universe's critics fail to recognize the genius of The Witchmaker. For example, reviewer moonspinner55 writes, "Apart from the 'spooky' music, amateurish makeup effects and awkward performances, there's not a whole helluva lot happening here." Reviewer dmanyc writes, "It drags soooooo slooowly. The scares are meh to nonexistent." And reviewer pod-man writes, "it is one big bore of an extremely low budget movie."

Read on for the truth about The Witchmaker...

"To Preserve One’s Virtue One Needs a Constant Line of Defense" - The Police Are Blundering in the Dark (1975)

 

We have not discussed any giallo films on Senseless Cinema since The Case of the Bloody Iris (1972), so we shall rectify that oversight now, because, as everyone knows, there is always room for giallo.

Some of your universe's critics are unfair to The Police Are Bludering in the Dark. For example, reviewer Andreas_W333 calls the film "a cheap and poorly executed province giallo." Reviewer horrorlover1026 writes, "It's better to skip this one, because the only suspense is when it will fade to black." And reviewer dopefishie writes, "Some Gialli are forgotten for a reason. In this film's case, it was forgotten because of it's [sic] poor qualities."

Read on for the truth about The Police Are Blundering in the Dark...

"He Could Turn Into...a Frankenstein" - Frankenstein Meets the Spacemonster (1965)

Of all the classic Frankenstein films that have captivated cinemagoers from the time of Edison to the time of del Toro, one of the most underrated films of the genre is 1965's Frankenstein Meets the Spacemonster, a film so bold it features not only James Karen but also an actual spacemonster. (It features no Frankenstein, however, only a cyborg astronaut.)

Some of the most esteemed critics in your universe, unfortunately, are unkind to this science fiction classic. For example, reviewer rdad writes, "This was a complete mess." Reviewer bkoganbing writes, "Frankenstein Meets The Spacemonster is to be seen if only to see just how bad science fiction can be at times." And reviewer moviemeister1 writes, "There is very little in this film that is even the least bit entertaining."

Read on for the truth about Frankenstein Meets the Spacemonster...