“Alcatraz Prison, or The Rock As We Called It” - I, Alien (2006) aka Reptilicant

It is time for us to analyze the science fiction/horror/action film I, Alien (2006), starring Australian martial artist Gary Daniels. This film was made during that golden age when practical effects and computer-generated effects could coexist side-by-side to create astounding imagery that would take the audience's collective breath away. In the case of I, Alien, the alien effects are all practical while the locations, helicopters, etc. are mostly computer-generated. This vibrant mix of art forms makes I, Alien one of the most satisfying action films of the 2000s.

Of course, some of your universe's critics do not appreciate I, Alien, also known as Reptilicant (which title, I must attest, might not give away the surprise ending). Reviewer Leofwine_draca writes, "The scene transitions, the direction of the actors, the editing, everything is horrible here and sinks what could have been an average production, turning it into something truly terrible." Reviewer face_of_terror concludes that everything except for the action star "is quite awful." And reviewer zoran_kamen writes, in a review that praises the film with confusing terminology, "wonder from which planet alien came, this would be really interesting topic for the gifted ones with extra psychic power !"

Read on for the truth about I, Alien...

“Dangerous Glacier Penetrations” - Invasion of the Animal People (1959)

Some cinemagoers enjoy watching Swedish films. High on their list of favorite films, no doubt, is Invasion of the Animal People (1959), a Swedish/American film about a small alien invasion directed by American actor/director Virgil W. Vogel (editor of This Island Earth and Touch of Evil and director of The Mole People), then partially reshot and reedited for American release by Jerry Warren. The result is a harrowing film about mysterious aliens transporting a large creature to Earth for unknown reasons.

Of course, some of your universe's critics are unfair to Invasion of the Animal People. For example, reviewer robertguttman writes, "A lot of people consider Ed Wood's 'Plan 9 from Outer Space' to be the worst movie ever made, but clearly those people have never seen 'Invasion of the Animal People'." Reviewer Aaron1375 writes, "The film is not good as it is such a mishmash of different things." And reviewer soulexpress calls the film an "hour-long cinematic suppository."

Obviously, these reviewers are completely incorrect. Read on for an appreciation of Invasion of the Animal People...