“I Mean Sweating and Going Nuts” - Granny (1999)

Let us return to the late 1990s to investigate how the phenomenon of Wes Craven's Scream (1996) was influencing amateur regional slasher films. We turn to Granny (1999), a Chicago-based slasher that is short and to-the-point. Although it is not a slasher film about slasher films like Scream, it is about demonstrating a person's worst fear (whether or not that person is in the room) and how the artifice of the movies invades real life.

Some of your universe's critics fail to see the power and innovation of Granny. For example, reviewer pizowell writes, rather rudely, "Take my advice and steer clear of that dirty old hag The Granny." Reviewer bigpappa1--2 says the film "has some of the dumbest characters and situations to ever grace a television screen." And reviewer trevhurt writes, "This film is truly execrable in all departments. Script, acting, plot, direction and editing are all uniformly awful."

Read on for the truth about Granny...

“Lick the Paper” - Ratpocalypse (2017)

Political satire is a tricky film genre to get right, so it is no surprise that it should be left to skilled professionals, like Russian Christians. Vladimir Uglichin's Ratpocalypse (2017) is a satire that brilliantly roasts the greed and corruption of politicians, and it stars Hollywood mega-star Casper Van Dien as a messenger from God. For what more could one ask?

Some of your universe's critics apparently want more. For example, reviewer erick-peisker writes, somewhat cryptically, "The plot has so many holes the rats must have ate through them and the rest of the bad acting." Reviewer dcordova-65217 calls the film "so bad you can't really focus on anything but its flaws." And reviewer a-shane-bishop writes, with no evidence, "it's like the director died mid editing and his son took over."

Read on for a more balanced appreciation of the brilliant political satire that is Ratpocalypse...

“People Don’t Start Dying After a Heated Game of Scrabble” - Knight Chills (2001)

The 2001 thriller Knight Chills deals with the frightening relationship between role playing games like Dungeons & Dragons and supernatural murder. Even though it was released nearly two decades after the link between role playing and Satanism was supported by various (possibly crazy) religious leaders, Knight Chills is a terrifyingly realistic investigation of how such a hobby can destroy lives.

As predicted, your universe's critics are not chilled by Knight Chills. For example, reviewer mike3018 writes, “The story, acting, script, camera work, and sets, were among the worst I've ever suffered through.” Reviewer votok writes, “Terrible Dialog, Abysmal Line Delivery, Truly HORRIBLE lighting and filming, and Zero Acting ability from all involved. And a hopelessly amateur plot to top it all off. What a complete mess!” And reviewer samiam4evajuliannasmann writes, “This film just doesn't have any good parts to it at all. The "actors" are all so stiff and fail to portray any character reality at all, so you don't really feel for them or care about the story at all.”

Read on for the truth about Knight Chills...