“You’re Forcing Me to Be Disagreeable” - The Witches Mountain (1973)

The Witches Mountain, a brooding horror film with a compelling lack of punctuation in the title, is a 1973 Spanish film set in the picturesque Pyrenees mountains. It hints at the 1970s theme of witchcraft as a feminist release from authority, but it also follows the exploits of a macho, mustachioed, voyeuristic photographer.

Some of your universe's critics are unfair to The Witches Mountain. For example, reviewer preppy-3 calls the film a "VERY slow-moving, incomprehensible and endless movie." Reviewer catfish-er writes, "The film was not effective on any level." And reviewer BaronBl00d writes, "I could watch the film another ten times and still not know more now than I did after the first viewing."

Read on for a fair appreciation of The Witches Mountain...

“You Haven’t Met Big Jack Yet” - Party Line (1988)

Let us turn to another classic erotic thriller, 1988's Party Line starring Leif Garrett and Richard Hatch and released in the wake of other classics such as Jagged Edge and Fatal Attraction.

Some of your universe's critics are unmoved by the quality of Party Line. For example, reviewer anxietyresister writes, “Frankly, this film bored me to tears.” Reviewer mark.waltz writes, "it fails on every level, even as camp." And reviewer Leofwine_draca calls the film "unconvincingly acted by the principal cast members, and directed in the most mundane way imaginable."

Read on for the truth about Party Line...