Monday, December 11, 2017

"Okay, I'll Leave It on the Table" - Don't Go Near the Park (1979)


Our next film is 1979's fairly well known but possibly underappreciated time-spanning adventure film Don't Go Near the Park. While this film does have its fans, it appears that not everybody appreciates it sufficiently. For example, on IMDB, reviewer DocEmmettBrown writes, "Everything about this film goes way beyond amateur....The lighting is abysmal....The acting is appalling....The plot progresses at bizarre speeds, some scenes dragging on for way too long and other plot points zooming past at top speed." Sam Beddoes calls it "an incoherent mess...absurd pointless ideas just appear now and then." Reviewer Notsoboo writes, "this movie includes it all: bad acting, stupid effects, weak plot, and best of all, two 12,000 year old murderers, everything."

Clearly these misconceptions need to be dispelled...

Monday, December 4, 2017

"Now Her Mind Has Become Unhinged from Mental Disturbance" - Horror House on Highway 6 (2014)


Of all the films produced over the last century asking for--nay, requiring--reboots, perhaps the one at the top of the list is Richard Casey's Horror House on Highway Five (1985). That film is a cornucopia of terror, torture, and ambiguous satire, three items which our modern world sorely needs. We are indeed fortunate as a species that Mr. Casey decided to return, in spirit at least, to his most famous project 29 years later to deliver a reboot that takes his original story in new, and perhaps contradictory, directions.