Monday, December 25, 2017

"Curious and Curiouser, More and More, All the Time" - Dark Sanity (1982)

We now discuss yet another underrated film about murder, psychic visions, alcoholism, and developmentally delayed gardeners, director Martin Green's evocatively titled Dark Sanity (1982). This film, set in Los Angeles in the early 1980s, features the redoubtable Aldo Ray in a supporting role, and we all know Mr. Ray's presence is a mark of quality (see also Don't Go Near the Park, 1979 and Haunts, 1977).

As usual, some esteemed reviewers misunderstand the importance and quality of Dark Sanity. On IMDB, reviewer capkronos calls the film “slow moving, poorly made and pretty boring.” BA_Harrison writes, “A meandering mediocre mystery featuring very little gore and zero scares, Dark Sanity is humdrum stuff.” Brando5092 calls it “very low budget (as you can tell by the quality of the film and the way it looks like it was shot using less than standard film) and for the most part poorly acted.” I must disagree with each component of these terrible reviews (including the one about being shot using less than standard film), and again I am forced to counter the reviews with an in-depth discussion about the quality of the film in question. Please read on...

Monday, December 18, 2017

"He's a Strange Type. I Guess All Scientists Are" - Burial Ground (1985)

While Andrea Bianchi's classic zombie film Burial Ground (1985) aka The Nights of Terror aka Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror is appreciated by the finer critics of your universe, I have found some reviewers who, as usual, miss the point entirely.

On IMDB, reviewer signalelectric writes, "This movie has almost no directorial style, and the class equivalent of an 80's porno movie." Uriah43 writes, "I thought it went on way too long and I was totally bored about halfway through. I rate it as below average." Jonny_Numb writes, "Avoid this at all costs, unless you're VERY undiscriminating toward the genre."

For those who are discriminating toward (or at least in the general direction of) the zombie film genre, I must correct these critics and describe how Burial Ground serves as one of the finest examples of that very genre.

Monday, December 11, 2017

"Okay, I'll Leave It on the Table" - Don't Go Near the Park (1979)

Our next film is 1979's fairly well known but possibly underappreciated time-spanning adventure film Don't Go Near the Park. While this film does have its fans, it appears that not everybody appreciates it sufficiently. For example, on IMDB, reviewer DocEmmettBrown writes, "Everything about this film goes way beyond amateur....The lighting is abysmal....The acting is appalling....The plot progresses at bizarre speeds, some scenes dragging on for way too long and other plot points zooming past at top speed." Sam Beddoes calls it "an incoherent mess...absurd pointless ideas just appear now and then." Reviewer Notsoboo writes, "this movie includes it all: bad acting, stupid effects, weak plot, and best of all, two 12,000 year old murderers, everything."

Clearly these misconceptions need to be dispelled...

Monday, December 4, 2017

"Now Her Mind Has Become Unhinged from Mental Disturbance" - Horror House on Highway 6 (2014)

Of all the films produced over the last century asking for--nay, requiring--reboots, perhaps the one at the top of the list is Richard Casey's Horror House on Highway Five (1985). That film is a cornucopia of terror, torture, and ambiguous satire, three items which our modern world sorely needs. We are indeed fortunate as a species that Mr. Casey decided to return, in spirit at least, to his most famous project 29 years later to deliver a reboot that takes his original story in new, and perhaps contradictory, directions.