Attack of the Beast Creatures! The name is legendary as one of the finest of the 1980s films about small creatures causing chaos. It is legendary in my universe, anyway. In your universe, there is less unanimous acclaim. For example, Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka at Something Awful writes, "'Attack of the Beast Creatures' is just a bad movie...you will end up depressed and unfulfilled." Captain Obscurity calls it incredibly amateurish and frighteningly obscure, but the captain adds sensibly that the film is also oddly compelling. Reviewer gpeltz at IMDB writes, "The film constantly challenges common sense, and in that it is consistent." On IMDB, reviewer s_gerald writes, "This is one of the most horrid movies I have ever seen....stay far far away from this film."
The willful blindness of these highly respected reviewers is extensive and can only be countered by a more perceptive analysis of the masterwork that is Attack of the Beast Creatures.
The film begins with a title card: “Somewhere in the North Atlantic - May 1920.” The silhouette of an ocean liner is sinking. Amid desperate screams, a half dozen passengers cling to a large canoe, representing a lifeboat. "We're drifting away from the other lifeboats," one of the survivors says, though we do not see any other lifeboats.
After approximately six minutes, the boat bumps into a rocky beach, startling the passengers, who did not notice they were approaching an island.
Shadowy figures move onshore as the boat is dragged onto the beach.
Directed by Michael Stanley and written by Robert A. Hutton, Attack of the Beast Creatures is not just another 1980s film about small creatures causing havoc. It is the definitive 1980s film about small creatures causing havoc. Its brilliance lies in its ability to transport us to a faraway place and a faraway time, to make us truly feel the fear of trekking through the harsh wilderness to return to a distant beach, and to allow us brief, hellish glimpses of the killer dolls that inhabit mysterious islands (I assume).
As audience members, we can only give our profuse thanks to the tireless band of creative professionals who ventured into the deep Connecticut forests to show us what would happen if a group of shipwreck survivors in 1920 discovered a North Atlantic island with acid rivers and aggressive dolls that worshipped larger dolls made of stone. And, last but not least, we should thank D J's Hair Inn for providing the presumably accurate 1920s hair styles. A fine, fine job indeed.